What are the customs of marriage in Zibo?

In the old society, the marriage of men and women was arranged by their parents, and they got married through the words of the matchmaker, which is the so-called "parents' orders, the words of the matchmaker." Some poor families are forced by life, some sell their daughters to others as child brides, and some change relatives, that is, change their daughters into daughters-in-law. Generally speaking, men get married older than women. When a man 15, 6 years old, or even 12, 13 years old, his parents want relatives and friends. What's more, he "refers to the belly as a marriage" and ordered "early marriage". Another woman asked the media to call her husband's family "anti-media". After being entrusted, the matchmaker colluded with both men and women back and forth. For the sake of prudence, the families of both sides secretly inquired about the situation and asked the fortune teller to "check the eight characters". They can get engaged if there is nothing they agree or dislike. There are also blind dates by visiting relatives. The situation in Zichuan is slightly different. After the matchmaker has made an engagement, he must ask another matchmaker to be an even number before sending Cambodia for engagement.

After the founding of the People's Republic of China, most marriages between men and women were free love, and some were called "introducers" or "matchmakers". After getting to know each other, the two sides agreed to get married. ?

be engaged

In the old days, it was also called "sending Cambodia" or "exchanging posts", which was a written form for both parties to initially implement their marriage intentions. The man's family asked someone to write a small post on red paper, and then wrote an auspicious sentence on the cover, as well as words such as "sincerely asking for a promise" and "sincerely waiting for a promise". The matchmaker, together with the "bride price" prepared by the man's family, wrapped it in a pair of red bags and sent it to the woman's family. The woman replied after receiving the invitation, adding the words "I will obey Taiwan Province's orders" and "I will obey Yu Yan" to express her consent to get married, and attached a gift, which was taken back to the man's home by the matchmaker. Shoes and hats, Four Treasures of the Study, etc. It is often used as a gift, while Zichuan comes back with incense, wormwood (meaning love), salt (meaning fate) and wheat (meaning happiness), each wrapped in red paper in two packages. Linzi gave back some cakes (according to the bride's age, 1 pair every year), 1 pair of tea bowls, 10 pair of sorghum and 9 pairs of chopsticks as gifts, meaning "ten stops and nine stability". Then the man prepares a table to thank the matchmaker.

The custom of engagement has been used to this day. Generally, after the consent of both men and women, both parents will come forward to express their approval and give a bride price. This is called engagement. In recent years, bride price has become popular among some people.

Ji Ze

That is, the date chosen by the man for the wedding. Generally, the man will entrust the matchmaker to the woman's house to "beg for a wife", and the woman will write her birthday on red paper (Boshan is called "year's life post"), and give it to the matchmaker to take back to the man's house. On this basis, the man asked the fortune teller to choose the direction of "wedding month", "auspicious day" and "XiShen", which is called "date checking". At the same time, it is also necessary to draw up the taboos of people who greet their loved ones, write them in red paper in duplicate, which is called "year's life post", and send them to the woman's home by the matchmaker, which is called "sending the day", and also give her a bride price. Boshando is used to giving money, which is called "box money". Part of it is used by women to buy dowry, and part of it is left for married women to put in the cupboard, which is called "money for future generations" Huantai County is used to sending chicken, fish, meat, vegetables, noodles, dates and chestnuts to the woman's house with the word "Jubilee", commonly known as "the box on the head". After the "send day", both men and women prepare wedding supplies, and the quilt sewn by the man's family puts a little cottonseed in the four corners, indicating that "the next generation has a son"; The woman's family also invited a woman with two children to help "cover the quilt" and put some red dates, peanuts, money, chestnuts and other things in the four corners, meaning "early birth."

Nowadays, in some feudal conservative families, especially in large families with several generations living under the same roof, the marriage between children and grandchildren still follows the customs of "facing Japan" and "sending it to Japan", and many taboos have been passed down to this day. Some young people choose to get married on May Day, November Day and New Year's Day.

Songyan room

Others call it a round house and send it to the side. Generally speaking, the day before the wedding, the bride price is sent to the man's house by the woman's family, which is called strict delivery. Huantai is commonly known as "marrying down". Linzi sent dowries on the last double day before Kyrgyzstan. Boshan residents are often sent by the man to the woman's house to receive the bride price, which is called "moving the house strictly". Zichuan residents had the habit of "urging makeup" before this, that is, two or three days before marriage, the man sent a vegetable basin to the woman's house, which contained wine, meat, chestnuts, dates and other things, all of which were even numbers, and then the woman's house sent someone to "send it to the strict room". In the past, most people used to have two beds and two covers, tables and chairs, cabinets, clocks and watches, washbasins and so on. The poor keep it simple and only give tea sets and other table things. Whether rich or poor, a pair of "longevity lamps" is essential. Even now, with electric lights, they can be sent as decorations. Keeping more dates and chestnuts in the dowry of married women is called "early birth" (also called "rejuvenation" and "cautious chestnut"). The tools used to deliver Yan Zhai are decorated with strong auspicious colors, and the ropes used should be dyed red, such as vehicles, shoulder poles, boxes and cabinets. The used ones should be pasted with red paper with the word "hi", the bottom should be covered with red paper, and the dowry woodwork such as tables, chairs, beds and cabinets should be hung with angular red cloth. On this day, relatives and neighbors often take gifts to congratulate them, which is called "congratulations" (formerly called "adding rice"), and sending wedding gifts to the woman's house is called "filling the box". Gifts used to be given in the form of steamed bread and other food, but now they are given in the form of cash and happiness. Wedding gifts should be recorded in the account book, commonly known as the "wedding account book" for future gifts. No matter what kind of wedding, we should talk about auspiciousness, and don't send articles with indecent tone, such as bells (heads), pears (leaves) and satin (broken). Generally, odd numbers are not issued. Men should prepare a banquet to reward their guests (invite more invitations before the banquet, and then invite special people). Boshan is called "waiting for pedestrians". On this day, relatives and neighbors are usually invited to help each other. The leader who presided over the wedding ceremony was called "Da Zong" and arranged everything according to the intention of the host's family. The "Grand Master" is usually held by elders who know this etiquette.

The custom of giving dowry, congratulating each other and entertaining guests has continued to this day.

Marry a relative

In the old society, marriage was generally divided into "big marriage" and "small marriage", but the meanings were slightly different from place to place. "Big wedding", men prepare official sedan chairs and sedan chairs, drummers and colorful flags lead the wedding. The groom put on new clothes, put on more robes and mandarin jackets, a melon hat or top hat, and pinned a big red flower on his chest before getting on the official sedan chair. The other is the bride's sedan chair. When you go, you will be taken away by children or the groom's brothers and sisters. This is called "pressing the sedan chair", and the red symbol of "good luck" should be affixed to the door of the sedan chair. The "big wedding" usually takes place during the day, and only a few young people get married. "Small wedding", the man's family only sends sedan chairs and lanterns and torches to the woman's house to meet the bride, mostly for ordinary people to get married. Most of the "small marriages" in Zichuan are held at night, while Boshan is held at night. There is a legend about night marriage: in the old days, there was a bully Zhai Sanhu in Boshan, who was a pervert. No matter who gets married, he has the right to have his first night. In order to escape this bad luck, people secretly marry the bride home at night. Follow the custom until today. No matter big or small, the man must bring a fur coat and a red carpet when he goes to the woman's house for a wedding, otherwise the woman's house will not send anyone. When you go to the woman's house, you can "propose". The bride put on red gauze and was carried on the sedan chair by her parents or brothers. It is also carried into the sedan chair with a chair, which means that her feet don't touch her parents' soil. When two people with brothers or close relatives send each other, it is called "farewell". Linzi also has the habit of "sitting in a sedan chair". Two small players carry kettles and support the sedan chair poles on both sides. In the old days, there was a legend that the bride in Boshan area was "robbed" into a sedan chair. On the wedding day, the groom takes a car or sedan chair and follows a group of people to the woman's house to "grab the bride". The bride's brother is running behind, the bridesmaid is behind, and the groom is chasing after him with people. After a symbolic struggle, the bride was invited to the sedan chair. Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride should take more things in her hand. Most of them are holding books and wishful hooks (wrapped in red paper) in Huantai. Boshan's bride should bring some handkerchiefs just in case something happens. After getting off the sedan chair, you can't get off the sedan chair all the way. Lu Yu's tomb, temples, strange stones and trees are all covered with red blankets. Residents of Huantai County also have the custom of "crossing the street" along the way, and they are welcomed into the village by burning fire. When the sedan chair arrives at the door of the man's house, the orientation of the sedan chair facing the Western God is settled. In some places, the doors are deliberately closed at this time, and the sedan chair is allowed to stop in front of the door for a while. This is called "temper". The purpose is to soften the bride's personality and take care of her husband's family after entering the door. A pair of red bricks and two pairs of chopsticks were pressed on the front door of the man's house, and the door frame was labeled with "Qinglong" and "Red Tiger". After the red carpet was laid on the floor, it was time, firecrackers were ringing, and the bride was helped out of the sedan chair by two "girls" with the groom leading in front. When passing the threshold, a saddle pasted with red paper is placed on the threshold, and the bride is supported by the married woman, which means "going through the door". When the bride walked into the yard, someone sprinkled grain and colored paper on her along the way to ward off evil spirits. There are incense tables in the courtyard, and couples worship heaven and earth and throw "eternal fire". After that, the groom will use a HongLing to guide the bride to the bridal chamber. At the entrance of the bridal chamber, the groom will pick out "red with a hat" for the bride. Huantai residents are also used to throwing red hats into their rooms before entering the bridal chamber. After the bride enters the bridal chamber, she sits down in the direction of XiShen, which is called "sitting for an hour". At the same time, she eats takeout-noodles from her parents' house-and takes them out in a boiling pot, which is not cooked well. At this time, someone will ask, "Are you born?" The bride can only say the word "born" to indicate that she wants to have a baby. In the evening, the bride and groom drink wedding wine, commonly known as "heart-to-heart wine" and "wedding wine", and relatives and friends begin to have sex.

At the same time, the groom's family will host a banquet for the woman's Fujian, set a date for the bride to go home, and then come back (Fujian in Zichuan will bring back the bride's red socks when she comes back). In some places, the woman's family comes to visit the next day with gifts to discuss the date of going home. This is called "reunion dinner". Residents of Zhoucun, the woman who comes to have a "reunion dinner" must bring a pair of fresh fish as a gift, and the man must also have a fresh fish as a gift, which is called "fish at both ends".

On the second day of their wedding, the bride and groom went to the grave to worship their ancestors, and Boshan and Huantai worshipped their ancestors on the third day, which was called "Shangxi Tomb". On the 3rd, Boshan's bride will give her mother-in-law a New Pants. There is a proverb called "If you want to get rich, make a pair of pants for your mother-in-law in three days".

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the custom of welcoming relatives has been gradually reformed. No longer use sedan chairs to get married. In the 1950s, horse-drawn carriages were used in rural areas, bicycles were used in cities, and "seeing off guests" accompanied them. Brides no longer wore red headscarves. There are also yangko teams that are guided by colorful flags and drum music. During the "Cultural Revolution" period, "revolutionary" marriages were once practiced, and hoes, sickles, shovels and shovels were mostly used as dowry in rural areas. In urban areas, it is a fashion to send "little red books", and most of them walk to their husbands' homes. In recent years, more and more people get married in vans and cars. However, some taboos and exquisite customs, such as getting married at night, welcoming the bride with a red carpet, "impatience", making trouble in the bridal chamber and sweeping the grave, still persist today.

In some rural areas, the custom of husband and wife "worshiping heaven and earth" still exists. At present, most weddings in most areas are to pay tribute to the person who presided over the wedding, parents and each other. When the host, guests and newlyweds speak, the ceremony is completed. In the 1980s, it was advocated to hold a group wedding, where the bride and groom got together, and the unit leader served as the wedding master to congratulate them, and distributed candy and cigarettes, in addition to "traveling to get married" and other forms.

Live in Japan

Generally speaking, on the third day of marriage, the bride returns to her family, which is usually picked up by the woman's house, and the man's house should prepare a table for hospitality. Those who return on the same day are called "returning to the door", and some who stay at their parents' home for 6 or 8 days are called "staying in Japan". When returning to in-laws' home, women's gifts are mostly returned in the early hours of the morning, which is intended to be auspicious. At this point, the gift is complete. This custom of "returning to the door" and "living in Japan" is still circulating today.