The joke story is about 100 words.

It's cruel of you not to laugh.

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, so I called the hundred-dollar bill:

"ah! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! "

One hundred dollar bills thought for a moment and said:

"Tear it, tear you up and you don't even have five dollars!"

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and I'm greedy for beauty!" " Pathetic! "Then he disappeared.

Man: "... cake."

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and played badminton.

Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! "

Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. "

4. Panda Man wants QJ Panda Girl, and Panda Girl fights hard and fights to the death.

After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "

5. tortoise and rabbit race ... the rabbit quickly ran to the front. ......

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him, come up, I'll carry you. ......

Then ..... the snail climbed up. ......

Soon ... The tortoise saw another ant ... and said to him, Come up, too. ......

So the ants came up.

When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, hello.

Do you know what the snail said?

Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. .......

6. A man and a woman are eating.

Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not?

The boy finally said: love

The girl asked again, then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took out 30 yuan money from his pocket.

And ask the girl: Do you have ten dollars?

The girl gave the boy ten yuan. ......

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

soon .....

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner!

7. Go to the snack street one day

Find a store that sells egg towers

Every one looks delicious. I want to buy one to try.

I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately?

Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.

8. One day, a family caught fire.

Mom and dad both fled, leaving only one son inside.

Mother was very nervous and shouted outside:

"Son ... what are you doing ... it's on fire ..."

The son replied, "I'm wearing socks ..."

Mom said again, "What socks to wear in case of fire ..."

After five minutes, my son hasn't come out yet. ......

Mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what the hell are you doing?" Come out ~ fire, stay inside ... "

The son said, "I'm taking off my socks."

9. A man went fishing by the river.

First he wore a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~

He had no choice but to change earthworms ~ and there was still no fish for a long time ~ ~

In a rage, he took out 100 RMB and fell into the water to curse:

"*-%#% what to eat! Buy it yourself! ! ! ! "

10, a German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies.

Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan.

He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply.

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:

"surprise! 」

1 1, "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?"

"the sun." The patient replied.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow.

The cow said: I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly.

The pig said: People who fart will blush.

Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, How many times have I told you, I was born blushing.

13 One day, a man met God. ......

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish. ......

God asked ......

Do you have any wishes? ......

The man thought about it. ......

I heard that cats have nine lives. ......

Then please give me nine lives. ......

God said, ......

Your wish has come true. ......

One day, the man was idle and bored. ......

If you want to say death, forget it. ......

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks. ......

As a result, a train passed by. ......

That man is still dead. ......

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 cars. ......

14, one day, three people came to the funeral home. Strangely, their smiles after death are all ......

Confused, the funeral home manager asked the police: Why do people's faces look like this after death?

The policeman said: It's ... it's a long story ... Look at the man on the left ... He was with his wife in the spring night ... at the most * * * moment ... he couldn't stand it ... and then he hung up.

The administrator replied, alas ... I wish I could die under the flower ... Being a ghost is also very romantic ... How did the middle one die?

Policeman: The one in the middle ... Oh, he ... is really a human tragedy ... He was walking on the road ... Suddenly, he heard that he won the lottery ... and the prize money exceeded 700 million yuan. ..

When he was laughing happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and died. ......

The administrator replied: Alas ... he really didn't have enough luck to enjoy the rest of his life ... What about the rest?

Policeman: ... it's a pity that this one died ... he was killed by lightning while climbing a tree.

The administrator replied: ... This is a bit wrong. Why do you laugh when you are struck by lightning? ......

The policeman said, because he climbed the tree and thought ... suddenly there was a flash of lightning. ......

He thought ... someone was taking pictures of him. ......

15, it is said that thousands of years ago, both male and female dogs were squatting when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that the situation changed. ...

Everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong! His old man keeps a pair of Beijing dogs. On one occasion, Emperor Taizong went to Huashan to worship heaven and brought this pair to. ...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the bitch suddenly felt anxious and ran behind a tree to solve it.

This is a very disrespectful act when offering sacrifices to heaven, which angered the jade emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Lei Gong to hit a thunder, and the thunder hit the tree just right. The tree fell and killed the bitch. The male dog was very scared when he saw it. ...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will put out a foot and push it hard against the tree.

In case the tree falls by itself. ...

(2) hilarious jokes (about 100 words) should be hilarious.

Little x went to the bird market again. Found a parrot with a price tag of 3 yuan money.

So he asked the seller: Why is your parrot so cheap?

Vendor: My parrot is stupid! Shit, I've been teaching for a long time. All I can say at present is one sentence-"Who is it?"

Xiao X thought it was cheap anyway, so he bought it.

When he got home at night, he thought, "I don't believe in teaching, and I don't believe in teaching!" " "So little X taught it to say something else all night.

But in the morning, the parrot still just said, "Who is it?" So little X got angry, locked the door and went to work.

After a while, a gas collector (Z for short) came.

Little Z, "Knock, knock ..." (knocking at the door)

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: gas inspector.

In the evening, little X came back. I saw a man lying on the ground in front of my house, foaming at the mouth.

Little x: yo ~! Who is this?

I heard it in my room: the gas inspector.

A person is sentenced to 12 years in prison, which is quite boring. One day, he found that an ant could understand him, so he began to train it. A few years later, this ant can not only stand upside down, but also somersault, which makes him quite proud. Finally, the first thing he did after he got out of prison was to run to the bar and prepare to show off his magical ants. He first asked the bartender for a glass of beer, then took the ants out of his pocket and put them on the table. He said to the bartender, "Look at this ant …" The bartender came over and killed the ant at once, and then said to him, "I'm sorry, I'll get you a new one right away!"

(3) 100 words or so funny story.

Brother's wish:

In Elder Brother's Naked Age, the Chinese teacher taught a text about an old man taking a shit. Since I pointed fingers at others and scolded me for my nose, this article has been accompanied by my growth!

Everyone thinks this is the sin of SB, but since my brother thinks this is the real NB, I know it's hard for you to understand this, and it doesn't matter. Because I understand that you are no longer idiots. I can understand, because I am NB. I said it grew up with me, because I abandoned it countless times in my life, making it feel that it can't live without me, and now I can control it freely. For example, to the extreme. I've been in a hurry all my life. I feel that I have to remain anonymous after occasionally showing my edge, so I have been running to my volunteers. Speaking of which, you must not know what my wish is. I don't need to hide it from you now, because I am leaving. Leave this world. Although I don't like being apart from it. But I still have to make a decision Although you have a strong smile on your face, I can feel your heart crying and I am laughing. I smiled smugly, but I was not proud. My brother's heart never tears. My heart has never been lonely, but now I am a legend. Don't miss me, I won't be lonely, because I have loneliness. I can be free and easy all my life because I left everything behind and Tian Gongxiong who accompanied me when I grew up. There is only one person in my life who can miss me. She grew up naked with me, and her brother remembers everything. Now she has seen through everything, brother, and the legend. My brother is a legend to her now, and also a legend to her. On this square earth, I can only look at her sideways. I won't go to see her, and she won't come to see me, because there is a legend between me and her, so I will work with her to maintain this legend of Bayin (foreign bird language, Chinese translation of IMBA). Legend has it that the elder sister is her. She is the legendary elder sister. Before I left, I told my brother not to miss her because she is a legend. Now I also tell you not to miss your brother, because my brother is just a legend. I say this not because I want to say it, not because I want to learn it. I don't want to leave, but I can leave because I don't want to stay. If one day you see brother and sister walking together, it doesn't mean that the legend has been broken and wrong, but it means that brother and sister have surpassed the legend, not that brother is not a legend, but that brother is ahead of the legend, so at that time, brother is no longer the legendary brother and sister, but the legendary brother and sister. I'm keeping a low profile, so I won't say much. My wish is that my life can be ordinary.

So don't miss me, let me continue the legend! ~~~

(4) Tell a funny story about 100 words!

I remember the first teacher who died because of me.

At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and the teacher took us to the wild to do a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to tell the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in my class replied, picking up a leaf from the ground and throwing it into the air. "Pick up something and throw it into the air and watch it float there." "Well, that's good." The teacher praised, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?"

"me!" I volunteered, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air ... "Teacher, it's blowing up and down now!" " ..... I can't remember clearly what the teacher's expression was like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died. Later, according to the doctor in the hospital, he died because of the sudden strong * * *, which led to the retrograde possession of qi and blood. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

⑤ 100 word joke

Pick it yourself!

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished, the host said: Sausage pickles, please! Now, please talk to the township head! The township head said: Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk! Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.

The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is your sleep?" ?

The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.

.....

Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?

The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"

"It's yellow ..."

1. Q: What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

A: Chicken nuggets (quick)

Nicole Kidman (slow

2. Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily?

A: Sea (newspaper) leopard

3. The eleventh book is incredible (book 1 1)

A person painted gold is a blockbuster (a golden person)

Jade told Xiaoming that her father was impotent and couldn't stop (jade dad couldn't).

6. Eat with chopsticks (chopsticks to the population)

7. Which song has the lyrics of "CoCo Lee"? The moon represents my heart (

CoCo Lee, how much I love you ...)

8. What color can best imitate? -Red (Mill) Imitation

9.2 Which country has the largest army, China, Japan or the United States?

A: Japan ... There is a singer named Ayumi Hamasaki (soldier quick march) ~ ~ ~

10. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle picked up the phone and said, "Feed Yang, listen to Yin." (sheep phone eagle feed.

1 1. Ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold and one squatting in the pigsty.

12. Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he hissed. What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

13. Which Chinese character is the coolest?

A: thong (cool).

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

2. Woman: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

3. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

4. Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

5. Minimum standards for college students; Peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field.

7. I said you were a pig, but you said: I am a pig. From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: I'm not a pig!

Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

9. Thief A: "Count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

10. The sunshine last night was really good.

1 1. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because the car shop didn't have Geely's license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !

The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).

12. Dialogue between a fortune teller and a lady: "Your life is bad." "Why?" "Because you have a bad omen."

"Then can I take off my bra?" "No, you take off the bad omen, there will be two * * * in life.

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

Do what you see.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.

I have to give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.

However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept

After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"

The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."

Machine (chicken) making. "

There is a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before.

I used to send a telegram to the manager, fearing that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "Seize the opportunity."

No? "The manager received the telegram and thought it was an" opportunity "to clinch a deal. He immediately called back:" You can take it.

Multiply "

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager took a plane with insufficient level.

The provisions of the plane will not be reimbursed, and the plane ticket fee will not be reimbursed. The salesman killed the manager and came back.

Electricity, the manager was dumbfounded.

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more cheerful.

For form.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is."

I come from Myanmar, so I am shy. "Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone and stayed for a drink.

Then he said, "I'm from Yangon."

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the term, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management.

It thunders He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong;

As an officer, I won't do it! "

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!"

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

⑥ Long joke stories 100 words or more.

Someone took the doctor to see his wife. He called the doctor to the back room and waited outside.

Soon, the doctor poked his head out and asked, "Do you have a screwdriver?"

After a while, the doctor asked for pliers again. Then, I want a hammer. The man finally couldn't help it: "What happened to my wife?"

Doctor: "I don't know, my medicine cabinet hasn't been opened yet!" " "

⑦ Ask for a joke story (about 100 words)

One day I got on the bus with a good friend, and the front was full, so I ran to the back and just left.

Two seats are seated. There are two middle school boys sitting in the front row. After one stop, a woman in her twenties led a 7-or 8-year-old boy on the bus. (I learned later.

This is her child,: (

There are no seats, so I stand next to two middle school students. Before long, the child began to make trouble and said that his leg hurt.

The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child.

That * * * said: Let the child do it on your knee.

Middle school students agreed. The child sat on the knee of the middle school student.

After a few more stops, a girl came over. It's the kind that is extremely beautiful and extremely sexy. A low-cut skirt.

The bus was moving when the child suddenly shouted to his mother:

"Mom, my brother's little * * is touching! Just like dad's. "

Wandering around!

Hehe, there was a commotion in the car.

That middle school student is very ashamed. Pull the classmate, and then shouted at the driver:

"Ring the doorbell! ! "(He wants to open the door, hehe)

Then, I got off.

-165438+1On October 30th, a leader of No.7 Coal Company said in an interview that the main reason for the "1 1.27" mine disaster was that the underground miners failed to implement the rules and regulations, and the quality of workers was far from our requirements.

8 100 word joke.

A person is sentenced to 12 years in prison, which is quite boring. One day, he found that an ant actually understood his words, so he began to train it. A few years later, this ant can not only stand upside down, but also somersault, which makes him quite proud. Finally, the first thing he did after he got out of prison was to run to the bar and prepare to show off his magical ants.

He first asked the bartender for a glass of beer, then took the ant out of his pocket and put it on the table. He said to the bartender, "Look at this ant ..." The bartender came over and killed the ant immediately, and then said to him, "I'm sorry, I'll get you a new one right away!"

(8) joke stories about 100 words to expand reading:

Joke classification

Jokes are divided into ancient jokes, military jokes, children's jokes, animal jokes, fools' jokes, lovers' jokes, adult jokes, humorous jokes, cold jokes, online jokes, horror jokes, folk jokes, medical jokes, sports jokes, communication jokes, traffic jokes, celebrity jokes, family jokes, disgusting jokes, love jokes, dialect jokes and so on.

Pet-name ruby100 humorous story

Father asked Xiaoming to buy a bottle of wine and told him that no matter how much the boss opened, he would kill at half price. Xiao Ming nodded and left: How much is this wine? Boss: 80. Xiao Ming: No, 40. Boss: 60. Xiao Ming: No, 30. Boss: Then 40. Xiao Ming: No, 20. Boss: 30 is always ok! Xiao Ming: No, 15! The boss is angry: I will give it to you for nothing! Xiao Ming: No, I have to send two bottles. The boss vomited blood! ?

Attending a humorous joke story of about 100 words

& lt& lt I lived in the countryside when I was a child. The most common means of transportation is a bicycle with a beam in front. I had to cross a leg from behind when I got on the bus. One day grandpa took me out to play, put me in the back seat of the car and told me to hurry up. I nodded obediently. As a result, you guessed it. Grandpa swept it to the ground with whirlwind legs. Woo-hoo! ...

& lt& lt remember when I was a freshman, I failed the geography exam. The geography teacher was furious: "40 points in the blank, but someone got 10?" 20 points? Those who get 10 to 20 points stand up and copy the papers ten times! "At this time, the deskmate sighed:" It was very close, and I got 2 1. "When I was lucky, a buddy behind me also sighed faintly:" I almost got 9 points. "My deskmate and I collectively petrified. ...

Satisfied, please adopt.