Changde fellow villagers enter! ! ! Does anyone know the marriage customs in Changde?

The marriage customs in Changde (formerly known as Tianjin) are similar to those in other areas of feudal society for thousands of years. However, due to the influence of immigrants, strong business atmosphere and other factors, Tianjin's marriage customs have their own distinctive characteristics. In the whole process of marriage between men and women, the provisions are clear and the procedures are clear, forming a set of marriage regulations that no one can surpass. Tianjin's marriage customs are divided into more than ten procedures, such as matchmaking, changing the age, drinking tea, seeking happiness, reporting the date, writing a book, giving gifts, crying for marriage, getting married, entering the bridal chamber, quarreling and returning to the door, which are very complicated. A marriage makes both relatives feel ashamed and exhausted. But no matter how tired and complicated, both parties try their best to make the marriage perfect.

In the past, the first procedure of marriage custom in Tianjin was "matchmaking". This is a typical feudal arranged marriage, parents' orders and matchmakers' words. If the man's parents take a fancy to the woman, please ask the matchmaker to go to the woman's house for matchmaking. Matchmaking has two meanings: one is to praise the man's family, how rich, how handsome, influential, knowledgeable and so on. The second is to see how the woman's family is, whether the girl is beautiful and so on. The matchmaker in Tianjin, commonly known as "Mr. Red Man", went to the woman's house and told her that no matter whether the matchmaking was successful or not, the man would give money.

After both men and women are satisfied with the bride price through matchmaking, the second procedure is to "change the Geng". Gengzi is the eight characters of the birth of Gengzi, which refers to the time and year of birth of both parties. Changing Geng is also called changing eight characters. Wen Hai Pi Sha explains:'' Li pushes people's fortune to live and die, without losing anything, and without using it at first. Since the song dynasty, it is time to participate in it, called eight characters. "The horoscope is calculated by a fortune teller. If the eight characters hit it off, choose an auspicious day, and the eight characters of both men and women are written on red paper and exchanged with each other. After men and women change shifts, the man gives gifts to the woman, the man takes the matchmaker to give gifts to the woman, and the woman gives a banquet. In this way, the two sides formally confirmed the marriage relationship.

The third procedure is "drinking tea". After the marriage relationship is confirmed, both men and women should choose an auspicious day to hold the wedding, and communicate with each other during the period before the wedding, especially on traditional festivals such as Spring Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival, and the man should also give gifts to the woman. This gift is different from the bride price. There is no need to give too expensive gifts, but meat, fish, cakes and sweets can all be used to show the man's attention and courtesy to the woman, and can also add a friendly atmosphere to the future in-laws.

Drinking tea keeps the two sides in close contact. When both parties are old enough to get married, the fourth procedure is "seeking happiness". Seeking happiness means that the man invites the matchmaker to the woman's house to hold a wedding ceremony. Also bring some happy gifts, mainly clothes, quilts and cloth. If the woman agrees, please ask the fortune teller to calculate the auspicious day. After the auspicious day is set, the woman can formally ask the man for the bride price.

The fifth procedure is called the reporting period. The man wrote down the auspicious day calculated by the fortune teller on red paper and gave it to the woman with the prepared bride price accompanied by the matchmaker. In the old society, Tianjin was a prosperous commercial city with many wealthy families. Bridal gifts are usually silk and satin clothes, and extended families also give away gold rings, necklaces and other valuables. The heavier the bride price, the more it shows the man's economic strength and "ability to be a man." In this way, the happier the woman is, the more willing she is to marry her daughter to the man.

The bride price is sent to the woman's home, and the woman receives the bride price. The man's family will "write a book" for the relatives and elders of the woman's family. At the wedding, the upper-level relatives of the woman's family, usually the elders or brother-in-law, will be invited to see her off and pour wine. This drinker, also known as "Booker", is regarded as the most distinguished guest.

After the next book, both men and women began to hold happy events. The man will give the woman a "water gift" (the wealthy family will give a whole pig and sheep, a whole pot of wine and 120 candy cake, and the ordinary family will also give 20 Jin of meat, several bottles of wine, clothes, shoes and socks, etc. ) and the master's tea (meat, fish, dim sum buns) are sent to the woman, and the groom and the matchmaker go together. In the evening, the man prepared a banquet for the groom. The man's family should be accompanied by "ten brothers", that is, the groom plus nine unmarried boys. Boys can be their relatives, neighbors, friends, etc. There will be a noisy banquet during the dinner, which means guessing rules. Every boy made a toast to the groom, which was very lively. At this time, the caterer also joined in and asked the groom for money for cigarettes. In addition to the "ten brothers", large families also have to hold a banquet to worship their ancestors, give three gifts and raise a plaque, which is called the "crown word", which is even more lively. Then the woman has to prepare a banquet to entertain the bride, and she also needs to be accompanied by the "Ten Sisters". These nine unmarried girls can also be relatives, neighbors and friends. At this time, the bride began to marry in tears.

"Crying to marry" is the eighth procedure. This is an indispensable rule for the bride to marry the groom. First, it shows filial piety. When her family raised herself, she left. Since then, she can't be filial and cry every day. Second, I married a man's house and will live in the future. I don't know if I'm happy. I have no bottom in my heart and am afraid to cry. The third is coquetry and crying. The fourth is excitement, excited crying and so on. There is such a "crying wedding song" circulating in Tianjin:

So is my mother-in-law,

I combed my hair,

The rain is flowing downwards,

I don't want to be a bride all my life.

So is my mother-in-law,

If I were your son,

Marry a daughter-in-law

So is my dad,

You are married to an aunt, and the room is full.

At this time, the children watching the excitement outside the door will sing clear and harsh nursery rhymes.

New aunt, new aunt, don't cry,

Your house is around the corner.

New aunt, new aunt, don't laugh,

Turn the corner and your stove will be there.

It is really interesting that "crying for marriage" often cries until the bride's voice is hoarse and the mother stops crying.

The ninth procedure is "marriage", and the man carries the bride to the woman in a sedan chair. The sedan chair carrying the bride must be a big red sedan chair. This sedan chair is exquisite, with a red canopy, golden poles and a red embroidered curtain hanging down in front, which is very imposing. The book carrier uses a small sedan chair. The groom goes in a sedan chair, and when he marries the bride, he changes to a big horse, or takes a sedan chair and is accompanied by a matchmaker to pick up the bride. In front of the wedding procession, there were trumpeters, gongs and drums, several big sedan chairs in the middle, followed by "ten brothers", relatives and friends, matchmakers and so on. It was very lively. When the wedding procession arrived at the woman's house, they were not allowed to enter the house. The woman's chef and maid quickly closed the door and asked the groom for wedding money and cigarettes (often stuffed into the house through the door). When the woman's people received the wedding money and cigarettes, they opened the door to welcome the wedding team and the groom and held a grand banquet. If it is a rich family, not only three relatives and six relatives are invited to eat wine, but even the neighbors of the whole street are invited to receive guests. Red envelopes and gifts pile up into mountains, and banquets can hold hundreds of tables. Small families also try their best to keep up with their neighbors. After drinking the wine, the groom will give four big gifts to the woman's elders, and then go back and wait for the woman to get married.

"Kiss from the woman" is the tenth procedure. At this time, the bride was dressed up, wearing a long gown with a brim and a skirt with a red edge, but wearing old shoes on her feet. She was carried to the first room by the eldest brother (no eldest brother is the younger brother, no younger brother is the cousin), stood on the square wood prepared in advance, kowtowed to the ancestral memorial tablet, knocked three times and worshipped three times, which was very complicated. This is called "Cixiang". After the ancestor worship, put on new shoes, and my brother or elder brother carried the red sedan chair. When the bride left, her parents gave her some change called "sedan chair money". This kind of "throwing sedan chair money" plays a great role, because the sedan chairs like to tease the bride on the way, sometimes swing the red sedan chair, sometimes deliberately stop the sedan chair, and sometimes peek at the bride from the sedan chair window. At this time, the bride will send the sedan chair bearer with "throwing sedan chair money", and the sedan chair bearer will safely carry the big sedan chair to her husband's house. This is the wedding of the rich. When a poor family got married, the bride didn't have a crowned dress, only a red headscarf. Other manners are the same. When the wedding procession comes to the man's house, the porters carrying furniture, toilets, footbath or porcelain in the procession will stumble and sway at the man's door, as if telling him to pay more. This man should give money to the porter without stint. The man then sent someone to take away the wardrobe, furniture, boxes, bedding and so on. Moved into the new house to decorate it, and invited the respected people in the neighborhood to make the bed. Generally, when making the bed, they will sing "Make the Bed Song":

Make the bed. Make both ends of the bed.

Sir, your son, slow-born girl.

A: The pillow is supported at both ends, and the groom climbs at both ends.

B: Throw pillows at both ends, and the son looks like a loach.

This song "Song of Making a Bed" is full of feudal color, and my son is loved by his son. Pay special attention to pillows when making the bed. If the pillow is not well laid, the husband and wife will not sleep harmoniously, and the son will be as thin as a loach. After making the bed and decorating the new house, the ritual students (usually Taoist priests) set up incense sticks at the door and read "Che Marvin", also known as "pulling up the car". This trip is to sprinkle chicken blood on the sedan chair, which contains Nuo sacrifices. Ten beautifully dressed sisters stood in front of the door and lined up in two rows to meet their brother-in-law. Then the cook killed the rooster and used chicken blood to cure diseases and ward off evil spirits. The expression of "stopping the car" means to keep evil spirits out of the door and bless the newly married family. After that, the sedan chair bearer lifted it up again and turned it around in front of the house several times, calling it "returning the car." After so many procedures, the sedan chair was carried to the main hall, and the bookkeeper (brother-in-law) opened the curtain of the sedan chair. The man asked the respected woman in the neighborhood to lead the bride out of the sedan chair door, and then the bride and groom knelt on the straw mat set up in the main hall under the leadership of students from the Ministry of Rites, who read the "marriage document" first and then got married. After reading the essay on marriage, the worship ceremony began. One worships heaven and earth, the other worships Gaotang, the third worships ancestors, and the husband and wife worship each other, and the husband and wife drink a glass of wine for a change. After the ceremony, the groom led the bride into the room. There is also a sense of propriety in entering the bridal chamber. After the couple get married, it depends on who grabs the bed first and who grabs it first. Who will be stronger in the later marriage life?

The twelfth procedure is "noisy room". In ancient times, there were all kinds of noisy methods, some were vulgar and some were healthy and civilized. It is said that when the big boss of Tianjin Bailuzhai marries his daughter-in-law, it is the guests of Tianjin upper class who test the bride. Whether it is couplets, riddles or other questions, the bride answers them one by one, showing her talent and agility, which makes the guests admire her very much. There is also a noisy room for the bride and groom to play games and bite candy. A more interesting argument is to use homophonic to explain the happiness of couples. The guests took out five things prepared in the bridal chamber: a gold ring, a porcelain bowl, a needle, a pair of chopsticks and a gong. The guest asked the bride to read these five items from beginning to end. The bride didn't know what it meant, so she had to read "gold, bowl, needle, chopsticks and gong". When she heard it together, she knew it was "really happy tonight", which was really interesting.

The last procedure is "back door". Three days after marriage, the bride's family sent her brother-in-law or sister-in-law to take the newlyweds back to her family, which is called "returning to the door". However, the bride and groom must return on the same day and cannot stay at their parents' home. After the bride and groom go home, they are not allowed to be empty for a month, and they are not allowed to sleep outside. Wait until a month later, the groom sends the bride back to her parents' home, allowing her to stay at her parents' home for a month, and then the groom takes it back.