The dictation of a real second-born mother

A true story, if you like this article, please forward it so that more second-born mothers can see it! thank you

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It is said that birth order determines personality. I really believe that.

For example, my sister was born three years before me. As the boss, in my eyes, she is simply stubborn and asking for it.

My parents urged us to brush our teeth and wash our faces. She always said "right away", but after ten minutes, she still didn't move.

As for me, I washed my parents' faces, brushed my teeth and squeezed toothpaste.

For another example, it is also a disaster. I apologized immediately before my parents scolded me and offered them tea and water, indicating that I would never dare again.

But my sister, when she made a mistake, was more stubborn than when she didn't. Even if her parents punish her for not eating, she won't say, "I was wrong."

My parents shook their heads in anger!

02

My sister studies very well. Almost every exam is in the top three, and my ranking is just lower.

However, every time we come home with a report card, my parents will say, "boss, you have good grades, but you can't just study well." Your character will suffer in the future You should learn from your sister, get along with everyone and eat everywhere. "

At this time, my sister often tears the test paper into pieces and throws it all over the floor, while I, facing my parents, clap my chest loudly and say that I will work hard next time. ...

Without contrast, there is no harm.

Born by both parents, I won more parents' love with her throughout my childhood.

03

After graduating from junior college, I went back to my parents and continued to be a "good girl".

I was admitted to a public institution and married my husband Xu Wen, who is also a career editor.

Our income is not too high, but with the help of our parents, we live better than us.

And my sister, after graduating from a famous university, stayed in Beijing and became a lawyer with an annual salary of one million. Her brother-in-law is her colleague, equally talented, charming and gentle.

When they got married, we went to Beijing to congratulate each other, but we didn't get along happily.

Her parents told her, "You have been stubborn since you were a child, and your fortune-telling is very accurate. You went to a good university and married such a nice guy. In the future, you should change your temper and be as good as your sister ... "

Before her parents could finish, she coldly interrupted: "Since I was a child, I will always be useless in your eyes, and I will never be as good as my sister. You can attend this wedding if you want, or leave if you don't want. "

Although she was rude, we left Beijing after the wedding.

When I left, my sister gave me a bank card and said with a straight face, "There are 50,000 yuan in it. Please help me buy them something they need. I'm far from home, so I can't always go back. Besides, they don't like to see me. "

To tell the truth, everyone can see that she doesn't want me to be filial for her, but to buy out the relationship between them.

04

After marriage, my sister seldom goes home and seldom calls.

Go home occasionally to get together with classmates and try to avoid being with your family.

On holidays, she either goes back to her brother-in-law's house, or goes out to travel, or even gets pregnant and gives birth to a child. We all heard about it from her classmates.

Parents often feel this: "What is the use of children's promises? I can't even see my face. Old at the age of three. Your sister has been like this since she was a child We can't count on her. "

05

My sister and I really broke up after we got married.

In 20 16 years, my mother got intestinal cancer.

On the day of diagnosis, I was dizzy and almost fell down.

I dare not tell my father and hide it from my timid mother. During those days, Xu Wen and I had a very dark life.

Worst of all, a week after my mother's operation, I found myself pregnant.

At this time, his son Lele is facing junior high school. Although Xu Wen and I really want to stay for this untimely second child, the reality simply doesn't allow it.

06

When I decided to have an abortion, I called my sister who almost lost contact.

It was my brother-in-law who answered the phone. He said that my sister is not available now.

Knowing the situation of our family, my brother-in-law said that he would definitely tell my sister, and he also said a bunch of comforting words, asking me to seriously consider the issue of whether the child will stay or not.

Soon after I hung up the phone, I received my sister's RMB 6,543,800+through WeChat.

To be honest, my heart is cold.

Since she transferred money to me, she must know my mother's illness, but she didn't even say hello, let alone visit my mother. Does she think money can make up for everything?

I maliciously refused to accept it. I think this is a break between me and her.

When I needed her most and my family needed her most, she avoided us.

07

During that time, Xu Wen and I took turns to take care of my mother and carefully defended the lie that she had just undergone intestinal polyp surgery.

One night, I came to change shifts and let Xu Wen go home to rest, but he insisted on vigil, and the two men let me go. Finally, I compromised.

Xu Wen took me to the subway station, and he stopped me when I was near the station.

In public, he choked up and said, "Xiaohong, let's stay with this child." One is too lonely and will have a companion in the future. "

I nodded tearfully, and I cried all the way home on the subway.

I do have a sister, but at the critical moment, she exists in name only and doesn't even have a message of condolence.

Yes, I must give birth to two treasures, teach Ta and my brother to love and share, and become spiritual pillars in each other's lives.

08

How did that year come about? I still don't want to remember.

Shortly after my mother was discharged from the hospital, my father was hospitalized again. It took less than two months from the discovery of lung cancer to his death.

At my father's funeral, I was eager to see it, and I always had an expectation in my heart, but my sister didn't show up at last.

Her classmates did come a lot, and it's strange why her sister didn't come back.

During this period, I gave birth to Bauer and named him Kangkang. I hope his birth can bless my mother's health and live a long life.

However, the departure of my father has always been emotionally unacceptable to my mother. Four months after Kangkang was born, her mother left.

Before she died, my mother couldn't speak, but she kept her eyes on the door. Finally, a big tear came out of Qing Wu's eyes.

At that moment, I hated my sister very much.

09

I just didn't like this twisted girl before, but now I hate her indifference, her ruthlessness and her determination.

Her parents raised her, and she didn't ask for a pension. Isn't it okay to die?

My brother-in-law came with his nephew at my mother's funeral.

Watching them kowtow in front of their parents' graves, the cold wind roared in their hearts: Li, why do you deserve such a man and child! People are doing it, and the sky is watching. One day, you will pay for your ruthlessness.

Brother-in-law explained regretfully: "Xiaohong, I transferred the money to your sister. There's something wrong with your sister, and her spirit is very poor. So, I didn't tell her these things for fear of stimulating her. Blame me me. "

I don't believe such nonsense at all.

She bears a grudge! Is deliberately torturing us!

If I were you, my parents would get sick and die. As long as I live, I will climb home, no matter how weird they are, but they gave her life and raised her.

I gnashed my teeth and said, "Please tell Li that my parents are gone, so I'll pretend that I don't have her as a sister and I won't talk to her again."

10

Without the help of my parents, as an old mother with two treasures at home, I can imagine my hectic.

But what really bothers me is not the difficulty in allocating time and energy, but the relationship between the two children.

Obviously, the age difference is 12 years old, but the eldest son Lele is more like a younger brother.

As long as I buy a toy for my brother, Lele will ask, "Is there a gift for me?"

In fact, he said goodbye to toys when he was in junior high school.

For this reason, he dropped his brother's toy. Instead of getting angry, he got up and picked it up and gave it to his brother.

As a result, my brother yelled at him: "Stay away from me."

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Sitting at the table, he picked out chopped green onion and coriander bit by bit and threw them on the table.

My face is becoming more and more ugly. As a result, Kangkang, who was sitting on the dining stool, picked up his own chopped green onion coriander and put it in his mouth to eat.

The dumb little guy just looked at his brother and parents innocently, as if to say, "Look how good I am."

Lele didn't do his homework carefully, so I stood in the room and criticized him.

I don't know when Kangkang climbed up and tugged at my skirt to signal me not to be angry.

"Xu Lele, you are 13 years old. You are not as sensible as a child who cannot walk. "

When I criticized Lele like this, Kangkang actually drew silently with a brush. How good he is.

Look at Lele again Seven people refused, eight people were indignant, and their fists were clenched tightly, just to fight with me.

12

The first time I started playing Lele, when he was at school, Kangkang was reluctant to let him go. He stumbled over and hugged his thigh. As a result, he lifted his foot, but although he didn't make much effort, he threw Kangkang out of the distance, and his head just hit the corner of the sofa, and suddenly he got a bag.

Looking at Kangkang, who cried almost out of breath, I gave Lele a slap in the face in anger and asked him to apologize to his brother.

But Lele would rather be late for school and stand for the whole morning than apologize.

At noon, I invited him to dinner, but he opened the door and left. ...

Kangkang saw his brother go and cried again.

I don't understand why others bother him so much, but he is not sad!

13

Watching Kangkang burst into tears and begged for a hug, I suddenly remembered myself as a child.

Almost everyone in the family, like a drama master, sets off the simplicity of the boss and seems to get more care and care inadvertently.

But where is the boss?

It seems that overnight, I lost all my advantages and was forcibly occupied all my resources!

I wanted to go out and talk to Lele, but on the way to his school, I thought of my sister.

My sister who has lost contact for many years, I almost thought that I don't have this relative!

Comparing Lele and Kangkang's completely different personalities, I was thinking: Maybe I plundered more than my sister's childhood?

I suddenly broke out in a cold sweat: the best gift for a child is to give him a brother and sister.

However, what if Lele and Kangkang grow up like my sister and me?

When I teach them to be brothers, if they ask why my sister and I are strangers, what should I answer?

Xiao Kangkang, like me when I was a child, seems to have inadvertently won the favor of his parents?

When I was a child, I wanted my parents to stay with me forever, but now, as a mother of two children, I wish I had the ability to let my children know that their parents' love is a bowl of water!

14

The idea of visiting my sister in Beijing became more and more urgent as soon as it came out.

I know she doesn't want to see me, but if I do, I don't believe she will kick me out.

Anyway, I will please my parents with the energy I used to please her.

After all, when I was a child, I robbed my parents of the love they should have given her.

I haven't seen you for n years. My sister was very surprised when our family of four suddenly appeared in front of her.

And I, in addition to her eyes, can still find that kind of alienation, indifference and sadness in those days. The sister I remember is gone.

Once upon a time, she was tall and straight with fine features. Now standing in front of me is a fat man, with a height of 165 and a weight of at least 165. Her white face was covered with spots, and her eyes were swollen with alienation, indifference and sadness.

If I walk in the street, I may not recognize her at all.

According to my imagination, she should become an all-powerful French blonde, and live another self in the capital after leaving family of origin.

What happened to my sister these years?

Turned her from a cold beauty into a fat middle-aged woman.

15

Knowing that we were only visiting Beijing, my sister asked her brother-in-law to help us book a hotel.

As for me, I showed my hooliganism and said to her, "Just stay at home. Over the years, my cooking has been perfected by these two children. Just try it. "

Before she said anything, I forcibly held Kangkang in my arms to her side and went into the kitchen.

The kitchen is very big and the cooking utensils are complete, but obviously, there is almost no fire in the house. There are only a few tomatoes and eggs in the refrigerator, plus some fruit.

I can only make a pot of tomato noodles and a plate of fruit salad from local materials.

I have been cleaning the kitchen since everyone finished eating. Pots and pans have been repainted, and the walls, stoves, range hoods and glass have been wiped clean bit by bit.

In the whole afternoon, I gave my baby to my sister, and Xu Wen and I cleaned up her 100 square meter house inside and out.

16

When my brother-in-law came back from work, he almost thought he had entered the wrong door.

As for me, I know that everyone is sitting together and I don't know where to start. Just went out with Xu Wen, found the food market, bought a bunch of ingredients, filled the refrigerator first, and then made a dinner of eight dishes and one soup.

My sister doesn't eat much, but the expression on her face is not so cold and hard. She even feeds Lele. For Kangkang's behavior of stuffing food into her mouth without a teacher, she only said, "How is it the same as when your mother was a child?"

Brother-in-law took the opportunity to warm up the atmosphere: "Xiaohong, you should come here often in the future." Your sister and I are not very good at cooking. It happened that our son lived in school again. We haven't eaten such delicious food for a long time. "

I, on the other hand, took the opportunity to raise my glass to my sister: "Sister, I'm not here to play, but to have a heart-to-heart talk with you. When I was a child, I was not sensible and fought with you everywhere. Now, I am a mother of two children myself, and I know that it will hurt you ... "

Before I finished, my sister got up and went back to her room, and never came out that night.

And I, silly standing in situ, at a loss.

17

To tell the truth, no matter what happens, I don't want to lose this sister.

Just like I don't want Lele and Kangkang to become strangers when they grow up.

That night, my brother-in-law talked with us for a long time.

He said that in recent years, my sister has been plagued by depression. At the worst time, I can't even get up and go to the bathroom.

The year when her parents died, it was precisely when she was the most seriously ill. My brother-in-law wanted to take her to the hospital.

For a whole year, she has been treated in the hospital and is only allowed to visit her family once a month.

Brother-in-law said, "She is so ill that I dare not tell her the news of her parents' death. I just told her about it six months ago. She hasn't spoken for a whole week. I'm really worried that she will get sick again ... "

"Now, she has begun to improve, and her life and work have returned to normal, but she still dares not stop taking medicine according to the doctor's advice."

"Oddly enough, after your illness, your sister's appetite was wide open. Sometimes, she won the lawsuit and went out to celebrate dinner; If you lose, you have to eat more to comfort yourself; Even if I had a good sleep at night, I would cry out the next day and let me go out to eat and drink ... "

"As long as she is happy, I will accompany her to eat. It is a good thing to eat, which shows that she is full of enthusiasm for life. So, as you can see, if your sister is fat now, I will accompany her to get fat. Isn't there a book called "All's well that ends well"? "

My brother-in-law said with a smile, but he was sad for a while.

Over the years, when I was in hot water, my sister was also robbing me.

Looking at her closed door, I burst into tears.

I am not a psychiatrist, but I know that my sister's gluttony is not a sign of health.

18

On the third day of coming to Beijing, I packed five kinds of jiaozi for my sister and put them in the refrigerator for freezing.

I also helped her clean out the messy wardrobe and threw away a lot of useless things in the storage room.

On the fourth day, when we got home, my sister asked my brother-in-law to drive us.

Before going out, I asked Lele and Kangkang to hug her respectively.

When it was my turn, she instinctively stepped back, and I didn't force it. I just said, "Sister, let me know when jiaozi has finished eating, and I will give you a bag when I come back. Try to eat out less. It is high in oil and salt, which is not good for your health. "

She sneered at me: "The round-trip fare is enough to buy several refrigerators at Jiaozhou."

I responded to her: "That's different. I wrapped the taste of home. "

19

After returning to Dalian, I will send my sister a box of seafood or other hometown specialties if I have nothing to do.

Counting the days, I felt that her refrigerator was almost empty, so I killed the door at the weekend and gave her a refrigerator to freeze in jiaozi.

Go on Friday and come back on Sunday. Although it is hard, I know it is worth it.

When I was a child, I just wanted to plunder. Now, I want to pay, regardless of gains and losses.

That day, I saw a book in which the protagonist and sister are very similar. She grew up in a patriarchal family, very promising, but also very anxious. She often suffers from depression, overeating and weight loss. When she realized that her life was almost out of control, she began to ask a psychiatrist for help.

A passage in her book brought tears to my eyes: If you always eat more food than you need, then these foods are not what your stomach needs, but what your heart needs, and our heart doesn't need food. It needs love, tolerance and acceptance. Every bite of food you eat may be filling an unmet need for love. It turns out that I am fat because of lack of love.

The 38-year-old author woke up from a dream and saw his thin soul living in a fat body.

Later, I sent the book to my sister.

20

Gradually, my relationship with my sister began to loosen, and I often asked her for help in the education of Lele and Kangkang.

She will also answer her own suggestions in seconds.

For example, take Lele out to travel alone.

For example, when shopping for Kangkang, ask Lele for advice.

For example, when Kangkang sells all kinds of cute pets, I also talk about when Lele was as big as Kangkang.

For example, when Lele and Kangkang have an argument, don't let Lele let him go just because Kangkang is small. ...

I'll do it one by one and report the results to my sister at any time.

Kangkang learned to walk when he was one and a half years old. On the day when she was able to walk, Lele excitedly recorded a video with her mobile phone.

As a result, Kangkang just staggered for two steps and began to shake and fall.

At that moment, before I could react, Lele threw away her mobile phone and hugged Kangkang.

Lele was so scared that he was sweating, but Kangkang, who was laughing his head off, thought that his brother was playing games with him, so he put him underground and took two steps to dive down immediately.

Lele is not sure whether she really falls or dives, and she will pick it up every time she falls.

I sent this video to my sister.

This time she answered three smiling faces in seconds.

Only I know what this smile means to our sisters.

It's thawing.

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The day before the third anniversary of my father's death, my sister's family suddenly returned to Dalian.

This time, she didn't stay in a hotel.

I cooked a big table of home cooking for them.

My sister is losing weight and doesn't eat much, but after dinner, she is very self-disciplined to participate in fun run.

I have to stay with her.

Although we didn't talk, the atmosphere was good.

The next day, she found the cemetery where her parents were.

Obviously, she has been here before.

I sent flowers to my parents, said a few words, and took the whole family down the mountain first, leaving my sister alone.

Halfway up the mountain, I heard my sister's cry coming with the wind.

Perhaps, her life needs such a cry.

22

I stood at the foot of the mountain and sent her a WeChat: Sister, I will love you for them all my life.

She didn't answer me, but got into the car with red eyes after going down the mountain.

A few seconds later, she came out again, hugged me tightly and cried violently in my arms.

I waved my husband and brother-in-law to leave with the children.

"Elder sister, it's just you and me now. You can cry louder. "

"For so many years ... I want them to praise me once ... but no matter what I do or how I do it, it seems hard to get their approval ..."

In this way, she choked out, as if she had exhausted all her strength.

23

My heart ached, and the scenes of my childhood were slowly replayed in my mind.

I know that standing in front of my eyes is still the little girl who was wronged in her childhood.

"Sister, it's all over, and we're all fine now."

"Yes, it's all over. I am sorry for my parents and I am sorry for you. "

My sister cried for a long time that day. After crying enough, she said to me, "These tears have been saved for more than forty years, and I was swollen by them."

I said, "That's right. If you don't cry for a while, you may lose ten pounds. "

She patted me on the head and we both laughed out loud at the same time.

At that moment, I finally understood that people say that blood is thicker than water, but it is unconditional love and persistent love.

Fortunately, it is not too late for me to understand it.

Fortunately, my sister gave us a chance.

The works of the famous writer Liu Xiaonian!