Funny fortune-telling routine _ Funny fortune-telling routine

The little knowledge of fortune telling is frightening.

1. Ask for a famous saying that can fool people.

1. Go to hell! 2. My heart is eternal! I hope to adopt. Hehe, thank you 1 ... I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no survivors. When there is a bright moon, I look up. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age. 4. Yell when the road is rough. 5. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams. Confucius said: I don't sleep at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right! 7. Grab your hand and drag it away! If you don't go, you will continue to drag on! 8. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual! 9. Parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

10 Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money. 1 1. Love is putting your heart and soul into it, and then pulling it out a thousand times! 12. The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

13. It was unplugged before it could be philandering. 14. The hero is very sad about Beauty Pass. I'm not a hero, but the beauty let me through.

15. Men's brains like women's hearts, but their eyes like women's appearance. 16. Women like men who are not good-looking, and don't like men who are not good-looking.

17. The salted fish turns over or the salted fish 18. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me? 19. Marriage is to put on cotton-padded clothes for freedom. It is inconvenient to move, but it will be warm. 20. Knowledge is like * * *, invisible but important. 2 1. As a typical loser, you are really successful.

22. When the boss uses you, you are a talent. When you are not used, you become a layoff! 23. If you are together for a long time, you will be divided, and if you are divided for a long time, you will be together; Drinking will drive you crazy. You will drink every glass of wine. 24. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy. 25. In front of China team, Thailand team wearing yellow jerseys also had the demeanor of Brazil team in a trance. 26. Women are made of water, men are made of mud, and Li Junji and Chris Lee are both made of cement. 27. Men in bars are all looking for * * *, while women are mostly subject to * * *. 28. If you look like a steamed stuffed bun, don't blame the dog for following. 29. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

30. Smoke is not obedient, so we smoke. 3 1. When a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary, not an independence day.

32. Close my eyes and I see my future.

33. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover. 34. The sky is vast and the drums are broken. 35. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

36. Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt! 37. Lie down where you fell. 38. Interpretation is shielding, and shielding is telling stories! 39. Fall down, get up and cry. 40. You told me to get out, I got out, you told me to come back, sorry, I got out! 4 1. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love! 42. The farmer's uncle planted corn in the field and harvested a lot of corn in autumn. I planted my husband in the field in spring, and now it's autumn. Oh, I'm dead! 43. My wife said she wanted to see lightning, so I cut the wire with a kitchen knife! Crazy ~ ~ Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds will be rescued by leaders, and those without backgrounds will be killed by a stick! 44. I said: Have a life outside of work! So, my wife told me that I could have this. So: I work overtime! 45. If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket to knead instant noodles! 46. The world belongs to us and those children, but sooner or later it belongs to those grandchildren! 47. Don't dare to provoke me to send your name to the cat's paw hodgepodge again and let MOPPER spray you to death. 48. Whenever I encounter difficulties, I will read Tibetan scriptures: "Oh, moo, coax", which translates into English: all the money goes to my house! Kindness means not eating meat when others are hungry! Without Han Hong's life, he got Han Hong's disease.

Daughter and fat son refused to eat. 5 1. Your name will appear in my account book one day! 52. Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.

53. I have lived for more than 20 years and have done nothing for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches. 54. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice. 55. Life is about being born and living. When you hit the bridge, you will naturally sink ~~ 57. When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock ~~ 58. I pray to live a stable life with Jesus. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first.

59. Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life! 60. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. There are only a few years left. 6 1. You once told me that you would love me forever. I understand love, but what is it forever? 62. A seven-year-old boy is the most terrible creature on earth. They are curious, active, destructive and have the law on the protection of minors. 63. A man's words are terrible-I said I wouldn't pay back the money! 64. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. Fortunately, it's autumn.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe in you. Everything I can't let go is because I can't have ~~ 67. Special people never say they are special, such as me. 68. There are only two things in my life: 1. This will not be 2, and that will not be 69. * * I feel sick, I feel sick * * ~ 70. I know all banquets must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet! 7 1. People can't get along with each other by courtesy! 72. I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

73. Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for life. 74. Close the door for a month, don't call me, because I will come out as soon as you call me ... 75. Taxi driver, fighter among drivers, oh yeah! 76. Go as far as you want! 77. Zhuge Liang didn't lead a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? ! ! 78. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their own salary.

79. Fat and haggard ~~ 80. Kangfu, did you consider the feeling of Doraemon when you resigned? (Written when the Japanese Prime Minister announced his resignation last year) 8 1. I am bold, far-sighted, pragmatic, with excellent taste but diligent in introspection. Although I have many shortcomings, I hope everyone will be honest! 82. Get out of here, keep getting out of here ... 83. Be a bouncing person. 84. I grabbed my cat's paw and you walked into your little dark room.

85. The biggest sorrow in life is that youth is gone, but acne is still there. 86. Our goal is to.

The fortune teller in the room where my family and I live said that there was no way to solve the big murderer.

At the beginning of 20 15, some plans were terminated because they could not be carried out. You feel a little reluctant to shelve these ideas.

However, at the same time, in the face of unexpected opportunities, you must make a choice. Old plans need to be abandoned, and there will naturally be new developments. All you have to do is give up your homework. This fortune will last until the first half of 20 15.

So it's a strange fortune for you, with good and bad effects. However, Jupiter will enter Virgo in the second half of the year, which is very good for you. Saturn's power brings a very fulfilling feeling. You feel confident that you can do something, not be bound by those troublesome things, and be free to play yourself.

If you don't succeed in the past, you must give up decisively and start a new road.

3. How to identify the six deceptive tricks of fortune tellers?

Fortune-tellers rely on their rich social experience and "three-inch golden tongue" to make money by improvising and juggling skillfully.

However, to sum up, there are six deceptive tricks: 1. "Exploration". Fortune-tellers have a jargon called "judging people by their voices".

When they tell people fortune, they always ask you a few questions in a roundabout way at first. Before you know it, he will find out your identity, emotions and worries, and then he will follow your words and start telling you about your life. Like telling an old lady's fortune.

He asked, "How old were you when you got married?" The old lady replied, "I got married at the age of 15." Based on this, he concluded that the old lady's family was poor when she was young.

So he read the "Song Formula" he had already compiled: "When I was a child, I was unlucky, and I was bullied for lack of clothes and food. I've been proud of it since I made my fortune three times. " Then after his explanation, the old lady felt that his calculation was correct.

But this is not calculated by the fortune teller, but indirectly by the old lady herself. Because in the old society, girls were married at an early age, and generally speaking, most of them were from poor families.

So the fortune teller judged that the old lady was "unlucky" when she was young. If he finds that what he said is wrong, he will immediately turn around and explain from another side.

For another example, if you come to tell a fortune, if you speak hesitatingly or recklessly, he can tell that you are a hot person. At this time, he will come up with another set of "songs" and say to you: "fiery people are just by nature, born happy, and don't like choking people: if someone follows you, eat and drink and help you get money; If someone bullies you, give your head to famine; The temper is a tiger, and it used to be like a sheep. " This "Song formula" is suitable for impatient people, which makes people feel that fortune-telling is really accurate.

2. "hey" One of its characteristics is to say different flattering words for different people and different situations.

For example, say to the elderly: "Long life" and "Wang Ding"; For middle-aged people, they say "good luck shines high"; For young people, I coaxed them into saying, "Lu fell from the sky and I don't need to ask for it." I used to be very sad, and since then ... I have been fascinated. " It's okay to find a job and ask about marriage. If he finds that your work and study are going well and you are in a good mood, he will come up with a set of rhetoric: "good luck, happy events, seeking wealth and looking forward to happiness."

The second feature is that it is far from close, and the future has nothing to do with the present. For example, when an adult comes to tell a child's fortune, he knows that all parents want their children to have a good future, so he says how good their children's life is and what great things they will do in the future.

However, it is very dangerous for 7-year-old and 9-year-old 13 to commit "guansha". These are all things in the future, and no one knows. Of course, he can just say "coax" you. 3. "Scare".

Fortune tellers always improvise. If you can fool, you can fool, if you can fool, you can fool, if you are coaxed, you can hold it. For example, if he knows that your husband and wife are not in harmony, he will say that you have lost eight times, which is very serious and something will happen soon.

If you are in a hurry, ask him for advice, and he will say it can be solved, but how much will it cost? If you are ill, go to a fortune teller, and he will say that you have become a white tiger star. If it is not solved, it will be very dangerous and will not last for a few months.

For another example, he estimated that you are an honest man, and may give you a thick stick from the beginning, saying, "Luo Hou is a devil holding his head, wearing heavy filial piety, and communicating with tears. He lost a lot of money during the trip, fearing that he would be worried." When you hear this, you will be shocked, and then you will beg him to resolve and be fooled.

4. "Cheating". It's a scam of "repairing books all night".

Some fortune tellers wrote a list in advance and kept it. You go to him to tell your fortune. He said that he had already calculated your "fate" and wrote it on this list. After he asked you to tell me your age, the number of children and so on, he took out the list and looked at it. It really suits your situation.

The original list said, "The number of seventy-five satellites in Shou Yuan is difficult for a pair of eyes to see clearly." There are no punctuation marks on the words above, and the word "zhi" is a cursive script, like "three" and "six"; The word "ten" is also a cursive script, with a little bit added next to it, which is a bit like the word "ge".

Most of this list is nonsense, and the most important thing is the number of children. He can give you different explanations in different ways. For example, if you say you have a son, he will say: Yes, I have decided. You are "Shou Yuan 75 (who can live to be 75 years old), with one child (a son), clear eyes (good eyes), one hard, and four (all) hard."

If you have five children, he read: "Shou Yuan seventy, the number of five children is obvious with a pair of eyes, but one can't die, four (yes) and ten (real) exist." So you can change from one son to six sons.

Generally, there are not many children with more than six children. If you have no children or have more than six children, he will say, how many are there in your life, which are not eliminated, or will be eliminated in the future; Too much will be removed and so on.

5. "Live". Just don't say it to death, just make a pun. You can understand it this way or that way, and then explain it according to the other person's reaction.

For example, "Father before mother" is a living proverb. This sentence can be interpreted as "father is alive, mother died first" or "father died on mother's head".

If both parents are here, he can also interpret it as "your father will die first in the future" because it is very unlikely that both parents will die at the same time, and one will die first and the other will die later.

Therefore, this kind of work is applicable to any situation. For another example, when he counted several brothers, he arranged your eight characters in a row and said, "Look at your eight characters, at most three brothers, at least one", because most people have two or three brothers.

If your brother is really under three, even if he is right. When you say you have four brothers, he will say, "According to your life, you should have at most three brothers, and kill one of the four."

Some fortune tellers often beat around the bush at birth, which is also a living "button". He weaves your twelve hours a day into three "jingles", which are called "There are many brothers in the meridian, and there are Shen Yinsan in the sea"

4. Beginner knowledge of fortune telling, and those who know it will enter.

There are many ways to learn to solve life, that is, the ideas and methods of boots, such as four pillars and eight characters. Ideas are your own views and understanding of life.

Today, Zheng Ming can also use big data analysis. The law of no development is similar to the law of traditional life. In principle, it is similar. Man's fate represents a potential influence, which can be influenced by the free combination system of nature and society. Related to time and space, people in different regions will be different at any time. You can find some non-profit professional experts to look at and answer your doubts. You can either visit some numerology websites, spend more, or visit some Zhouyi forums, hoping to help you.

Check the home page. Facts have proved that this is a reference.

But as a side effect of this method, it is little known, that is, the function of obtaining natural operating force. This is also the reason why it can't be calculated often.

On the whole, this is a good time and place.

5. Can you trust the fortune teller?

Because I don't understand, I can't judge whether what he said is right or not. I suggest you don't believe it If you are persistent and concerned, you can teach yourself some knowledge, master the basis of eight characters, and ask him directly if you don't understand anything and see how he answers. First, you can increase your knowledge, second, you can identify the truth of fortune tellers, and third, the most important thing is to improve your mood. I learned to recite heavenly stems and earthly branches one day, and after three days of self-study, I posted it to give people a batch of eight characters. Of course, in retrospect, recognition is not accurate, but at that time, 60% accuracy was not a problem. That is, at least half of the people come, and everything can correspond.

Even if what is said in the general post bar is not accurate, at least I have learned it, or I have learned some basic knowledge on the Internet before I talk nonsense. But the fortune tellers outside are different. They talk nonsense and invent new words. I sometimes come to Baidu to answer questions. What does the fortune teller say and what does it mean? It can be said that there are all kinds of cats and dogs. So you don't understand, so don't believe it. Fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune-telling fortune- Never believe it.

6.

First of all, you were unlucky in 2006. You and your fortune are not good this year, and you spend more money around September in the lunar calendar.

The first half of 2007 was not good, but the second half of 2009 was better, and the fortune was better than before. Third, last year's luck was not ideal. After entering the summer in April (after May 5th), it will cost a lot of money, but it will not be effective in May and June. After autumn, there is still no improvement. In August, it was even worse and I was in a bad mood. I am anxious and irritable. After the winter, the situation was a little better, but from 1 1 month to 2000, the situation was relatively better, at least I was not so impatient.

Is that so? Fortune telling needs to be verified before it can be counted. Simply calculate, mainly to see if it is in line with reality. If it is not accurate, it is useless to say more. If you think there is still something right, it is better to consult after adoption; It would be better if you could give me some praise.