What three surnames do you mean by "three surnames in one family"? What does this sentence mean?

In a family, parents have different surnames, husband and wife have different surnames, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different surnames. Refers to the father's surname, mother's surname and wife's surname.

Three surnames are not allowed in a family, which means it is difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live in harmony in a family. It takes considerable wisdom to reconcile these three surnames.

Zray's fame is called "Family with Children", you can understand it if you can understand it.

Parents have different surnames, husband and wife have different surnames, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different surnames, which is normal for ordinary people.

Most families have "three surnames", and most family conflicts also occur between them. It takes a lot of wisdom to handle the relationship between the three surnames!

When I first saw this topic, I really didn't understand what it meant. After a little thought, I realized that most families have "two surnames", one is the father's surname, the other is the mother's surname, and the child has the same surname as his parents.

Only when there is a third person can there be a "three surnames". For example, if a son marries a daughter-in-law, this "three surnames" refers not to surnames, but to "outsiders" in many people's minds!

Then "a family can't have three surnames" will have three situations, which is really the main reason for family conflicts:

There have been many questions about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law since ancient times, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China family is unavoidable for all men in China. If it is not handled properly, the small ones will quarrel constantly, and the big ones will separate!

The contradiction between this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is because many families can't accept this "third surname" outsider.

Most families in China are women marrying men, and the man pays a bride price, and buys a house and a car to marry the woman. Most of these expenses are paid by parents. In my heart, my mother-in-law feels that she has spent a lot of money to "buy" her daughter-in-law and can tell her what to do.

When a daughter-in-law grows up in her mother's family, her living habits and concepts will be very different from her husband's. Daughter-in-law's lifestyle is probably unacceptable to her mother-in-law. Some trivial things in life will cause friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In the long run, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may not be reconciled.

In addition, the attitude of the son sandwiched between his mother-in-law and his daughter-in-law is crucial. My son has been the darling of my mother's hands since he was a child. Now "I married my daughter-in-law and forgot my mother." Mother-in-law will naturally blame her daughter-in-law for this loss and think that her daughter-in-law took her son away.

Moreover, in the minds of many people in China, it is necessary to prepare for the "mother-in-law-daughter-in-law war" before getting married. Daughter-in-law should give her mother-in-law a "horseshoe" when she gets married, otherwise it will be difficult to gain a foothold in her husband's family. Mother-in-law is also prepared to guard against her daughter-in-law, and this "outsider" cannot take the initiative. This prejudice makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China even more incompatible.

Therefore, "three surnames are not allowed in one family" means that many families in China cannot tolerate that their daughter-in-law is a person with a foreign surname. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law just confirms this statement.

Door-to-door son-in-law is no stranger, which is also a unique way of getting married in China. Different from men marrying women in other countries, China's son-in-law has a relatively low position in the family, and the children's surnames can only be taken after the woman's surnames, which is caused by the ancient concept of carrying on the family line.

In the eyes of China people, only those men with poor family conditions, too many brothers and no ability to get married will be door-to-door sons-in-law. Most of the families that recruit son-in-law have no sons, and their family conditions are good and relatively strong. Between this and that, the status of the door-to-door son-in-law is even lower.

Therefore, in many families that recruit son-in-law, the woman's parents look down on her son-in-law, and even the wife herself feels that her husband is weak and incompetent.

This is also typical of the "third surname", especially in rural areas, many families that recruit son-in-law end in marriage failure. However, the woman's goal has also been achieved, because the son-in-law left offspring, and many single mothers raised the next generation alone.

"A family cannot have three surnames" also includes the case of a son-in-law, who is the third surname in the family.

This is also easy to understand, there are many second marriages with children to reorganize their families. If you don't have children after marriage, it's easy to say that both men and women can treat their stepchildren well. However, if there are children after the second marriage, the children born to the ex-husband or ex-wife are likely to be treated badly, at least not compared with their own children.

News of stepmother's abuse of children is reported in newspapers from time to time, and it often happens that children after second marriage bully brothers and sisters of different parents.

This situation has been very common in ancient times, and most people who remarried with their children are unpopular. In modern second marriage, even the children are directly raised by grandma or grandma, so as not to affect the relationship between husband and wife after second marriage.

Therefore, in the second marriage family, the children born with the ex-husband or ex-wife are the "third surname" in the new family, and many of them cannot integrate into the new family.

"One family can't have three surnames" has always been the social atmosphere in ancient China, and it also reflects the common problems in China families: the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the low status of the son-in-law who comes to the door, and the unpopular remarried children.

However, with the change of people's concept, this traditional concept is becoming more and more unacceptable. Many families are trying their best to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get to know each other better, accommodate each other's living habits, and the son is reconciled in the middle. There is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but the relationship is very harmonious.

There are more and more modern one-child families, which gradually dilutes the saying that even if a man "marries" a woman, it is for the convenience of taking care of the family, and there is no distinction between high and low.

For remarried families, people pay more and more attention to the healthy growth of stepchildren. They will not reject them, but love them more than their children after marriage. This is also to take care of the feelings of both husband and wife after the second marriage.

In a word, the phenomenon of "three surnames are not allowed in one family" is becoming less and less, which is the result of the change of people's concept, and people pay more and more attention to the feeling of "the third surname".

In China families, "three surnames in one family" is indeed very common, which is caused by the traditional family concept of China people.

This third surname includes three situations: the daughter-in-law in a normal family, the son-in-law in an adoptive family, and the stepson and stepdaughter in a second marriage family. These "outsiders" who are not related to family of origin are often excluded.

However, in modern families, the situation that "three surnames are not allowed in one family" is becoming less and less, and it is necessary for the whole family to work together to create a harmonious and happy family life.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not harmonious. Usually the mother-in-law is too strict with her daughter-in-law. This is also a historical habit, and mother-in-law also comes from experience.

Traditionally, China people's surnames are mainly men, and they are all passed down from ancestors to grandchildren, so a family has formed three surnames, namely the man's surname, the woman's surname, and then the daughter-in-law's surname.

This sentence means that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot be harmonious, which leads to family disharmony. Didn't you say three surnames are not allowed?

Ha ha! As long as you want to get rich, everyone should live in harmony, and the third surname is family harmony. That is, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law [yi tooth]

Small family, two surnames. If you have a son, you have to marry him. This is a happy event, with one more surname and one more relative. [Ross]

How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law, parents, sons and daughters-in-law? It is the story and wisdom of harmony in every family.

Mutual tolerance, more achievements, a good full moon and less picky, the family strives to integrate three surnames [prayer] [prayer] [rose]

It is normal that a family needs three surnames very much, but it is not allowed to have three surnames, which is also the expected goal of everyone.

When couples and children have two surnames, there is no conflict of interest between them. Once a child gets married and adds a foreign surname (or the same surname), it will be very harmonious and there will be no solid family foundation. If there is a slight deviation between words and deeds, there will be contradictions in paranoia. This has the saying that "three surnames are not allowed". But who doesn't want to be a complete family? Therefore, despite the fierce contradictions, we should do everything possible to choose a good partner with a third surname for our children. This contradictory phenomenon is very realistic and necessary.

It should be related to "three obedience and four virtues": obey your father at home, marry your husband, and obey your son after his death. Since ancient times, women's surnames have to follow the order of three subordination. So, how can there be three surnames in a family? For example, if you marry He Xiao, his wife is Zheng He, and his sons are all named after his father, but Zheng Yi and Zheng Yi are married to Zhou and Wu respectively, then their wives are Zheng Zhou and Zheng Wu respectively! From this perspective, where is the theory of three surnames? This is under normal circumstances. Under abnormal circumstances, it was a war-torn year. For example, Zheng Yi was killed by bandits, Zheng Wu was young, and his son Andrew was young. He wanted to marry another Wang Xingren. After they got married, Zheng Wu changed to Wu Wang, and her son was still Zheng! In this way, a family is just a second surname, which is acceptable! But there is an interesting follow-up. (1) if Wu and Wang are barren, they are only children. If they get married and have children, there will be a son named Wang! This is a report on "the grace of parenting"! (2) If there are men in the younger generations of Wu and Wang, then adults will have to repair their genealogy! [Yi tooth] [Yi tooth] [Yi tooth] So, there are only two surnames at most! If there are three surnames, the relationship is too complicated. How do ordinary people accept it?

As for the other, it's not the theory of three surnames. That is "changing the surname" to avoid disaster! For example, some people whose surname is Ye before life and Chen after death are not in this range.

There will be three surnames in the reorganized family, and most members of the reorganized family are not easy to get along with in daily life.

What do you mean by "three surnames in one family"? A standard family has two elements: parents and children. Children usually take their father's surname, so a family also has two surnames. If a third surname appears, it means there are "outsiders" in the family.

In fact, what "Grandfather" wants to express is nothing more than the following situations:

The first question through the ages: the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law An ordinary family is generally composed of parents and children. Parents have different surnames. No matter whether a child is born with the father's surname or the mother's surname, a family also has two surnames. The appearance of the third surname indicates that the child has married a wife.

As we all know, there have been many problems in China's family since ancient times. Living under the same roof, the first question is who will be the "master". A family has two "hostesses", each with his own ideas. The so-called "one mountain can't accommodate two tigers", everyone wants to be in charge of this family. Over time, there will be various contradictions between husband and wife, and the family will become disharmonious.

Men can't escape this problem. On the one hand, I am my mother, on the other hand, I am the person who will spend the rest of my life with me. If the son caught in the middle is slightly negligent, the contradiction may escalate, and the small quarrel will separate the big one. Therefore, China's complicated relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law just proves this point: the third of the three surnames is daughter-in-law.

There are also many cases of second marriage with children. Second-marriage families also have a third surname, that is, one parent takes care of children, or both parents have children. Everyone says there are many couples halfway. If a second-marriage family has no children, just like a wedding, the husband and wife are very sweet. When one side takes care of the children, the nature changes.

From the child's point of view, children will be hostile and simply think that your "stepmother or stepfather" is here to destroy their family. In addition, from the perspective of "stepmother or stepfather", he thinks that this child is not his own, has no blood relationship, and there will be some barriers in his heart, thus laying the groundwork for the unhealthy growth of the child.

Some two-married families have another child after marriage, and give the former child to grandparents to take care of. This is not only bad for children, but also affects each other's feelings. Of course, the reorganized family is not necessarily unhappy, which requires mutual tolerance and treating each other's children as their own, so as to handle the relationship between the three surnames.

In a second marriage family, the third surname that a family can't tolerate means that the child is a person with a foreign surname.

A family can't have three surnames: son-in-law son-in-law China has existed since ancient times, and now many families recruit sons-in-law. Generally, the families that recruit son-in-law in China have no sons to carry on the family line, which is also influenced by traditional ideas, but the families that recruit son-in-law are families with relatively good economic conditions.

As a foreigner, the son-in-law who comes to the door is often marginalized at home. Because the purpose of recruiting a son-in-law to come to the door is simple, that is, to carry on the family line, people will look down on him, and even his wife will be wary of his son-in-law. Over time, conflicts occur frequently, and the final result is: each has its own place.

This kind of family is obviously that the son-in-law despises the third surname, and the final outcome will not be good.

Ancient nobles married three wives and four concubines. I think there is another meaning of "three surnames in one family" mentioned by our ancestors, that is, in ancient times, powerful people married three wives and four concubines, and the more wives they married, the more lively they became, and each had his own abacus. It is said that two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, let alone several tigers. Married women are not related to family members, and they often have disputes over trivial matters.

Therefore, a family cannot allow three surnames to refer to a family with three wives and four concubines.

Generally speaking, what our ancestors said may not be reasonable. We can learn from it, but we can't copy it completely. Nowadays, it is also very common for a family to have three surnames. Whether we get married, get married, start a new family, or be adopted as a son-in-law, all we have to do is absorb the good and discard the bad.