Find a humorous dialogue

1. A student can't understand Xia. Ask a teacher. "Teacher, what is this?" "Xia (ho)." "What?" "Xiamen" students came back: "What is it?"

2. Q: Where have you been? A: The Great Wall, the Yellow River, the South China Sea and Hainan. Q: What do you think of this place? The Great Wall is very long, the Yellow River is yellow, the South China Sea is in the southernmost part, and Hainan is a sea.

3. "How old are you today at the job fair? Why did you join our company? A: I don't know. Q: Where did you know about our company? A: I heard! Q: Who said that? A: I don't know. The boss was a little dizzy and asked, I don't know anything Why did you come to our company? A: I want to study in your company. "

I am responsible for showing the structure after work. I got dressed today and stabbed my neck. I feel uncomfortable. I am chatting with my colleagues. What happened to my neck? A: There is something wrong with the hinge. Q: Is it related to clothes? Answer: Well, the clothes have burrs (mold demoulding phenomenon).

5, a buddy QQ chat, see a classmate asked me realistically, ask: chat? Answer: if you don't talk, your classmates are depressed: Isn't it the real Q me? Answer: Yes, Q: Then why not chat? Answer: I am too busy to change.

6. When a passenger arrives at a place for the first time, he takes a bus to a strange place, stands next to the driver and asks, Is this the station? A: No, ten minutes later, I asked, Are you there? Answer: No, the passenger asked all the way, but the driver kept answering no. Finally, I arrived at the terminal and asked: How did you stop? A: We arrived at the station. Q: I said so-and-so station A: I didn't hear you clearly. I heard you've been asking about the TV station.

7. I went to the station to see my classmates off. After I left, I called and asked, Did you get on the bus? I replied: immediately, after a while, my classmates got on the bus and called and asked: Did you get on the bus? I replied, yes. Q: Do you have all your luggage? Answer: Gee, you made me forget what I brought.

8. A rural buddy went to the city, didn't know where to buy cigarettes, and asked a friend. A friend said that where there is wine, there are cigarettes. This guy came to a hotel not long after he left. Excuse me, is there greater China? No, is there a double happiness? No, Yellow Crane Tower? No, man, I'm depressed. I have no cigarettes. What hotel should I open?

9、

I got off work in the canteen at noon today and lined up to cook. When waiting for the classmate in front, it happened to be gone, so I had to eat the set meal. The classmate fell down, which was really tragic. When I arrived, it happened to be gone. What's more, I'm not the person in front of you. After a while,

When I went to eat, I found that the meals made by the students who made the set meal directly in other places were much more delicious, and then added: Tragedy in tragedy, when I was eating, I found that the meals cooked by others were much more delicious than what I had waited for for a long time.

10、

Mother bought a dozen quail eggs for her three-year-old son and said, "Son, eat the eggs quickly!" " The son said in surprise, "Mom is so stupid, why do you want to buy such a small egg?" ""This is not an egg. This is a quail egg. This is a bird's egg. "Just look.

The son ran quickly into the yard and ran in circles with open arms. The father asked, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to take off and go to the sky with my mother to buy' bird eggs'."

1 1. One day, my colleague said: I want to seal the world. I asked: Why? She said, I can stay inside because it's all sealed.

12, rural people say to go to the toilet. One day, an uncle came out of the toilet just to let a child see the child: go to the toilet. Grandpa is very angry: I go to the toilet, but you want to call me an idiot

13, the woman asked, "Do you love me?" The man replied, "Love!" Nvxi: "Are you willing to die for me?" The man replied, "No!" Female anger: "Why?" The man replied, "you will be sad when I die!" So I'd rather you die first! Keep that sadness to yourself! "

14, q: what will happen to you after six bottles of beer? A: Ask the waiter for another bottle.

15, the slogan says: "No sale, no killing." I would say, "Without buying and selling, there would be no world."

16, q: how do you react when someone bumps into you in the street and says "I'm cristiano Ronaldo"? A: Hit him back. You can tell my friends later that I also played C Ronaldo!

17, "I went to the mall to buy silver jewelry, and there was no salesperson at the counter, so I asked the salesperson at the next counter,' Excuse me, is the salesperson there?' I saw the man shouting at the back:' The silver-haired prostitute came out to see the guests.' "

18, m: (Chatting on the Internet) Can I hold your hand if I meet you? Woman: Really? How about I send you a bunch of roses when we meet? W: I'll be very happy. M: I will love you with my actions in the future, ok? Woman: Great, sensible, son. Man: ...

19. Someone invited the deaf and the blind to the theater. After watching it, they asked how they felt. The deaf man said, "Nothing, but there is no sound." The blind man said, "I'm anxious to wait, but it hasn't opened yet."

20. Man: "I love you like a mouse loves rice! Will you marry me? " Woman: "Even if I were a grain of rice, I wouldn't let rats ruin my reputation!" " ! You are dreaming! "

2 1, [confession] male: ××, I like you! W: Why? What about practice? Man: I'm serious. I like you! Woman: Don't be ridiculous. There is no scenery in familiar places. We are too familiar to spark. M: I'm serious. I love you! The woman looked at him silently. M: Marry me, ××! Woman: Shit, why did you say it now? I have been waiting for you long. Go and buy a diamond ring!

22. Zhu Bajie passed by Gaolaozhuang after learning Buddhist scriptures in the Western Heaven. In order to find out Miss Gao's mind, he left a message on the door: Your pig brother succeeded in learning Buddhist scriptures in the West and wants to renew good relations with you. The next day, I saw the door, and I replied, "My senior went to the East to study early, but the second time was really difficult." . Pig sighed, It's going to rain, and Mother is getting married. Let her go.

23. The two sisters quarreled. "KFC!" "Hum, quarreled also want me to take you to eat KFC? No way! ! ""cut! I said kao! Fuck! Cao! "

24. One night during my junior year, I thought it was my roommate who walked in front and kicked him hard and said, "Are you here to study?" The man rubbed his ass and said piteously, "Yes." I was about to apologize when the man immediately said, "I'm sorry, I won't dare next time in my freshman year."

25. "Doctor, can I go?" "No" "Doctor, can I turn over?" "No" "Doctor, can I eat?" No, Doctor 555, am I going to die? 555555 ""You are in surgery! ! "

26. I made a boring phone call everywhere at home, and suddenly I heard a mm voice: "Come to my house, no one." I said excitedly, "Is there really no one? That address. . . . . "I hung up and left. After knocking for a long time, no one really answered the door.

27. In an inpatient ward, the nurse saw a patient drinking, so she went over and whispered to him, "Little darling!" " The patient smiled and replied, "Little baby."

28. The zipper of the female teacher's pants opened during the lecture! A female classmate stood up to remind the teacher: teacher, you didn't close the door! The teacher waved his hand and said, whatever, the dean will come on a field trip later. (www.siandian.com kindles love network) Hee hee hee hee. . . . .

29. M: In a man's world, if you catch a man's stomach, love will be happy. Woman: Then I'll be your stomach. Without me, you will starve to death. Female: ......

Attendant: "Sister, this dress is expensive. Please don't touch it casually. " I was so angry that I didn't call: "Little sister, you don't seem to be very rich either. Otherwise, how could you sell that here?"

3 1, m: There is no substitute, except heart, and love. W: Then I am your heart. Without me, you will die. M: speechless ......

32. On the wedding night of the nut and the bolt, the groom of the nut said: After so many years of running-in, I finally caught you. Twist the bride and say, forget it. It's not like I screwed it tightly. You still have to run.

33. One day, a lady went to tell her fortune. Later, the fortune teller said to her: Your life is not good, and the lady said "Why"? The fortune teller said: You have a bad omen. Then the lady said, can I take off my bra? The fortune teller said: No, as long as you take off your bra, there will be two big waves in your life!

34. A young couple fell in love and were about to get married. The girl asked the boy, "Is your family rich?" The young man replied, "Yes!" . So they got the certificate. After getting married, the girl found that the young man was very stingy and asked him again, "Didn't you say that your family is rich?" "Yes, but not much!"

35. A mental patient is writing something. The dean came over and asked him, "What are you writing?" Patient: "Write a letter!" Dean: "To whom!" Patient: "Write it to myself!" Dean: "What did you write!" Patient: "You pig, how do I know what it is?"

36. Do you think our long-distance relationship will last? M: Sooner or later, two partition flowers will be tied together. Woman: Then will you cheat? People: when people are not there, it is a negative moment for Yan to return to the air. woman ......

37. We went to the market to buy sports shoes. This pair of shoes is very cheap. The students were very happy and asked the boss, "Boss, your sneakers are so cheap, how long can you wear them?" The boss replied, "If you don't play football, it will be fine in a week." . . .

38. In the new semester, a student was sleeping in an English class. The teacher patted him and said, "What's your name? After talking for a long time, the students were still sleepy and at a loss. The teacher was angry: "What's your name? It won't squeak! " The student said, "cheep. "

39. Both of them like sour food very much. One day, when they went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi, they saw a large half bottle of vinegar in the vinegar bottle on the table. One asked the other, "Is this vinegar enough for us?" The other looked at the vinegar bottle and said, "Let's save some food. Almost enough. "

40. A buddy is eating in a small restaurant and greeting the waiter. The waiter came over and asked, "What do you need, sir?" The buddy said, "Please bring me some sanitary napkins." . .

4 1, Party A asked Party B, "Do you prefer to drive a car with manual transmission or automatic transmission?" B said, "I like to drive with manual transmission, because the automatic transmission makes my left foot useless." . .

42. During the road test, the man walked into the cab and the examiner sat next to him and asked, "Are you nervous?" The man replied, "Don't be nervous. Our coach said, just think of it as a dog sitting next to you. "

43. A said to B, "Please help me pull out the white hair on my head." B said, "I have been color-blind since I was a child, and I can't tell black from white. Put my head in the past. " . .

44, female: I am so good to you, why peek at other girls. M: It's not surprising that it used to be dirty, but now it's dissolute. W: What a pity. Man: The garden can't be closed in spring, and there is an almond in the wall. Female: ... Let's break up.

M: I am so close to you, but I still feel so far away from you. Woman: Is it far? But why do I still find you so annoying?