Funny sketch lines

Give you a classic of Mr. Hou, a famous crosstalk master in China.

Song Wu fights tigers.

Hou linbao

A singing opera, whether literary or martial arts. ...

B.

A has kung fu in every way.

B can't sing without kung fu.

Okay, now you go to the theater.

B.

There are few accidents on the first platform.

Well, actors are responsible for this art!

No one dares to say that life is a game, and there are no accidents.

B then no one dares to say so.

A it's hard to say.

B: That's right.

Sometimes actors get distracted.

B yes.

A that's broken.

B or something has been overlooked.

A Sometimes, actors are highly concentrated.

B how about this one?

A can also forget words.

B well, it's easy to forget words if you are too focused.

Any one can have an accident. He forgot himself.

B nervous!

A is an actor herself. He forgot that he was completely in the role and couldn't get out.

B entered and couldn't get out.

A Yes, watching this actor, you still have to get involved-the background at that time, the specific environment, the specific characters, what activities the characters have in this play, how to perform them, and how to exaggerate them artistically.

B You see, this artistic aspect is still very complicated.

A: That's right.

B yes.

A kind of spirit, highly concentrated.

B.

A song "Song Wu Beats the Tiger".

This is a martial arts film.

A highly concentrated.

B.

A really killed the tiger.

B yes.

That tiger, he's not a tiger! It's also played by backstage actors!

B Yes, that's an actor. He is a tiger!

A: Yes.

B diamond.

A Take this play as an example.

How about b?

A singing was different before.

Why is B's singing different from now?

A: Wow, Song Wu didn't work much in the past and the tiger was tired enough.

B of course, it's too hot!

A: Ah, if you are like this month, that's enough. Get into it.

b！

A sweating profusely.

B it's true.

Before A went up, I ate two packets of Ren Dan.

B Oh, I'm dizzy from the heat.

A yes! That tiger needs a hanging yard.

B Oh, there's a hanging yard!

Ah, there is only one scene: going to Yin Gong. "Choke ..." The tiger strolled out.

Second, he needs to show his face.

A wandered out.

B appears in Jingyanggang!

This tiger in Row A is always drilled by one person, and I look at him awkwardly. I wish I could use the lion dance method.

Lion dance. That's for two.

One plays the head, and the other plays the lion.

B Well, one person plays the head and the other plays the tail.

Come with two people.

Is it?

A is much better than this.

B oh, that's reasonable.

However, there are never two people in the play, but one person is used.

B Because there was a fight inside.

Ah, this tiger, this hanging field ...

B.

A came out, strolled around and looked around.

B yes.

A: Why are you tickling this time? Drink some water and roll. Then I saw someone over there and went down.

B Well, it's a formality.

A: Ah, when the scene of Song Wu appeared, I wanted to sit there and have a rest, and the tiger appeared.

B Jingyanggang met a tiger.

A: Hey, this tiger is coming up.

It wants to eat him.

One for acting. That's it. Stand up.

Oh, stand up.

A battle between two people.

B: Ah.

A, come here. Go over there. Fork. One, two, three, fight

B yes.

A kicked it over.

B yes.

A pressed it, some grabbed the tiger's tail and turned it twice, while others just pressed it and hit it, killing the tiger with a punch of three feet. After the battle, Song Wu felt tired.

There is such an appearance here, and the tiger fight is over.

Orion A came up, tied up the tiger and took it away.

The play is over.

First, this scene is over.

Tiger B, that's it.

A is playing now, which is simpler than that.

How is B's performance now?

It is reasonable that the tiger doesn't go to the station.

Oh, don't go to the station

Ah, a tiger can't stand up and fight two people like a bear.

B that's true.

A: You see, art is exaggerated now, and there is a basis.

B don't exaggerate.

A has a basis for life and can't fool around.

B: Ah.

A So it's good now. Now look at Song Wu beating tigers.

B.

Both men's kung fu was exposed.

B yes.

A Song Wu who once paid attention to exposing this point.

B: Ah.

A tiger is a match. If you get it twice anyway, it's not much bigger than that dog.

B Anyway, you can call as many as you want.

You look listless.

B yes.

I made a mistake when I was watching Song Wu Da Hu.

B: Hey, what's wrong with playing "Song Wu Da Hu"?

A not so good. I caught up with this.

B It's also an adventure.

This is Song Wu.

B.

A, this martial artist is also great.

B it was very good.

The one who plays tiger modeling. ...

How about b?

A was drunk that day.

B it shouldn't be. You can't drink it when you have the chance.

A knows, yo! I drank wine today.

B drank too much.

A It's strong enough today.

B: OK.

A The wine today is really good.

B yes! This man is greedy enough.

I-I have to go backstage early.

B Oh, go early.

A: Don't delay.

B that's not bad.

A There are two scenes left backstage.

B how is he?

First, he will dress up.

Do you have the shape of a tiger?

Ah, I drilled a tiger shape, but I didn't have a hood. I fell asleep lying in the corner. He thinks like this: I'm coming, who can't see me?

B I still played this song.

Then who won't call me?

B that's also true.

A I can't lie down for a long time either. I just took a nap, and I came over with a blink of an eye.

B that won't do. If you fall asleep, it will take a long time.

He thinks very well.

B.

A Song Wu has gone up, and he hasn't woken up yet!

This nap is long enough.

"Hey, who ... whose tiger shape? Oh, here it is. "

Oh, I see it.

A "gnome male-",don't sleep, go to sleep and shoot the tiger! " ""Oh, go ... "Let's go!

B has gone up.

A: Think about it. He fell asleep and drank too much. Kicked temporarily, he jumped up suddenly. Suddenly, the wine came.

Oh, please.

A got confused when she got to the stage.

B yes.

Confused and wobbly, the tiger didn't come down and came standing.

B Oh, this tiger.

Stand up. At that time, I went to the theater. ...

B.

He also saw something special about the audience under the stage.

B yes.

A: Hey, after the audience watched the play, "Hey, good, hey, this play is really interesting today!"

B what?

A: "Look, people are doing well!"

B how is it good?

"Look at this ... this tiger didn't come on his stomach, but stood."

Tiger B has two legs?

A "Not as good as this tiger."

What's the matter?

"How fresh!" What is fresh!

People are still giving him crazy ideas.

Song Wu looked at him like this.

B.

A: He can't tell if his face is drunk.

B yes.

Then call.

B, call.

A: Come here, go there, and two people will cross.

B yes.

One, two, three, such a dozen, such a kick.

B was kicked over.

A: It should be able to do this somersault. The tiger turned it over by itself.

B.

He was so drunk that the wine came out again.

How about b?

A didn't turn around, and the foot fell. Bucky, he's lying down.

B didn't do somersaults either.

A Song Wu is over. Such a gesture really can't hit yourself.

B yes.

A man with three fists and two feet, after kicking, thought to himself, "What's going on? This is, not playing well! "

The appearance of Song Wu is a good performance. Come on.

The audience at the bottom of channel A said, "Today's play is not very good."

This tiger is not very strong.

A "This tiger is very boring."

B yes.

Answer: "I can't show Song Wu's skills."

Swinging tiger.

A: "Look, look, Song Wu over there seems to have made great efforts. Isn't it just a kick? "

B.

One sentence, "Three punches and two feet, how to finish one foot?"

B really!

He's here watching Song Wu, the tiger!

How about b?

Stagger, stagger, stagger, get up!

Tiger B is on again? What's going on!

He looked at this Song Wu. "Wow" laughed out.

B that's not funny.

Song Wu doesn't know what happened!

Theory b-

A heart said, I this, appearance, there is no coke, how-

What do you mean by b?

Look over there, it's broken.

What's the matter?

A heart says, why are you up?

Tiger B is on again!

Kill with one blow. Why don't you die?

B yes!

He is also thinking about it.

b！

"What's going on?"

B I don't know what this means!

A: "Why isn't this tiger dead?"

B didn't kill him

The one in A also explained to another, "No, it's not that he's not dead."

How about b?

A "This is it, it's back!" "

B never heard of it.

A "No, I can't slow down, it's different from the book!"

B yes!

A "In the book, the tiger was killed with three fists and two feet!"

Tie it up and take it away.

A "Hey, how can you lift this bar!"

B yes.

A "didn't he come and tie him up after he was killed by three punches and two feet in the book?" Just take it away? So you can't slow down. "

B yes!

-"It wasn't killed. I didn't squat, so I slowed down. "

B that won't do either!

Song Wu looked at it this way. Since you are alive, then ... you still have to fight!

B still have to fight!

A: Oh, here we go again. Come on, one, two, three, come here, fork, kick again, kick again, pass again, make a gesture with three fists and two feet, and they appear.

B it's over this time!

Song Wu thought, what's the fun!

B, I called again.

Look how much money I made here. Look how light my play is.

B yes!

A Let me call again.

B look!

I'll tell him right away that I'll go to the backstage boss.

B yes!

How was the play? How can there be such a time?

B yes. What's going on now?

He staggered, staggered and stood up again.

Why is he up again?

A "wow-"is even happier.

This tiger!

Song Wuxin said, forget it, don't play in the back, the two of us. Come on, fight! Let's call anywhere today. Endless.

B: Good!

One, two, three, come here, go there, bang. ...

B that's not angry?

A: Didn't the two of them come and go?

b！

A Song Wu, he is angry!

B is angry!

A was a mistake. He said, "What's the matter with you? You are dead, do you know? "

Wow!

Wait for A to come back before hitting him!

How about tiger pounce B?

He doesn't understand.

Oh!

A walked here, oh, suddenly realized that "Paige" was lying down. Song Wu is back ... The play is ruined again!

Isn't he dead?

A died without hitting.