What is the best age to get married?

Marriage age taboo: marriage should not be too early or too late.

Generally speaking, men should get married and women should get married. The age of men and women should not exceed the normal marriage age by too much. If you don't get married when you are old, you will be suspected. Why don't you get married when you are so old? Why don't you get married when you are so old? The pressure of public opinion alone is enough. Han people have a saying? I can't keep my daughter when she is older. Stay. Stay and be the enemy. ? It's about not marrying your daughter when she grows up. Because young men and women don't get married when they are old enough to get married, I'm afraid they will do something, just like the old saying goes. If men don't marry women, I'm afraid there will be a big joke. .

However, what is the appropriate age for marriage? There are different habits and customs in different times in China. Before and during the Western Zhou Dynasty, it was generally believed that men were thirty and women were twenty. "Zhou Li? Sheriff? Media cloud:? Men and women have been famous since they became famous. Marry a man at thirty and a woman at twenty. ? Book of rites? Neize "cloud:? (Male) won the championship at the age of 20 and began to learn etiquette. ? At the age of 30, I have a house and can only manage men. ? Nine times out of ten (female). Married at the age of twenty. There is a reason, 23 years of marriage. ? It can be seen that men who get married in their thirties will have a period of time to learn the knowledge of etiquette and justice after the coronation. In addition, it is also based on the consideration that marriage is beneficial to the next generation after the human body matures. Such as "White Tiger Tong" cloud:? Male 30, muscular, any father; Female 20, full of skin and muscles, any mother. 50, should be the number of big swallows, everything is born. ? (See also The Book of Rites? Faint? Of course, the age limit for marriage sometimes changes due to social and political turmoil, frequent wars and economic development. For example, in the early Spring and Autumn Period, Qi Huangong lowered the marriage age of women by five years in order to dominate. Order? Husbands get married at 30, while women get married at 15? . Later, Gou Jian, the king of Yue, ordered: If a man is twenty and a woman is seventeen, it is a crime for parents. ? Later, in the Northern and Southern Dynasties, the age of marriage was reduced to fifteen for men and thirteen for women. This is probably the lowest marriage age in China's history. In the early years of the Tang Dynasty, the age of marriage was raised to 20 years for men and 0/5 years for women. By the middle and late Tang Dynasty, it had fallen to the level of fifteen men and thirteen women. Until the Ming and Qing Dynasties, the legal minimum age for marriage was still 16 for men and 14 for women. In the early days of the People's Republic of China, the new marriage law stipulated that the age of marriage was 20 for men and 0/8 for women. 1980 has been changed? Men should not be earlier than 22 years old and women should not be earlier than 20 years old. ?

In addition to the laws of the country and the nation, the age of marriage among people is also different. Generally, rural areas are on the low side and towns are on the high side. In rural areas, people are used to getting married early, while in cities, people are willing to get married later. Generally, in rural areas, when a man is 20 and a woman is 18, he begins to propose marriage. As soon as they reach the prescribed age, they get married immediately, and some even lie about their age and get married early. Is this still? Early children and early heirs? Old ideas are at work. In cities, people usually get married in their thirties and twenties. I also accept the truth of family planning, late marriage and late childbirth more naturally and consciously. Some ethnic groups still have some special taboos about the age of marriage. For example, Daur women are forbidden to get married when their mothers give birth to them. It is also forbidden to get married at even ages such as 16, 18 and 20, and it is considered unlucky to get married at even ages. Generally speaking, people get married at odd ages between fifteen and twenty, but men don't have this taboo. In the past, most poor She people married their daughters when they were 14 or 15 years old, while rich people often married their daughters when they were 19 or 20 years old. Whether rich or poor, marrying a woman at the age of 18 is taboo. It is considered unlucky to get married at eighteen. Whether men and women get married at the age of 18, will it be affected after marriage? Eighteen difficulties? Therefore, both men and women are forbidden to get married at the age of 18; Contrary to the taboo of Daur nationality, Jino young men and women prefer to get married at the same age. If a man is 20 years old, it is more appropriate for a woman to get married at the age of 18. They forbid men 19 to get married and women 17 to get married.

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Marriage age taboo: the age gap between men and women should not be too big.

Some of the above marriage age taboos can be controlled unilaterally. Other taboos about the age of marriage need to refer to the age of both men and women. For example, there are many taboos about the age gap between men and women. Generally speaking, the Han nationality is older than women, but it is also taboo that the age difference between the two sides is too big. If the difference is ten years, it will be condemned by public opinion. Don't marry less when you are old? ,? Don't marry less when you are old. Only by marrying less can you be carefree? . This may be suspected of being separated from the next generation, or it may be due to a psychology that almost forbids incest. Before liberation, there was a custom of little son-in-law in some areas of Han nationality. When a boy was in his teens, he married a girl of seventeen or eighteen. Most of them are married early out of the idea of treating their daughter-in-law as a labor force, which is a kind of oppression to women. This kind of marriage has brought great pain to women and has been banned now.

When there is no age difference between men and women, Han people still avoid talking about the age difference of three, six or nine years. It is not good for marriage to think that you will be punished, beaten, punished and hurt. It is a common taboo for women to be older than men. Especially taboo women are one year older than men. As the saying goes:? A female freshman, not a wife. ? It is also a simple taboo for women to be one year older than men. Western Henan is commonly known as:? Female freshman, golden fly; Female sophomore, golden long. ? It means that a woman is one year older than a man and will lose everything after marriage, but a woman is two years older than a man and can make a fortune after marriage. Taboo women are much smaller than men, saying that the bigger they are, the more they know that they are distressed by men, and the more men enjoy them. Yi taboo? Female school girl? . I think women are three years older than men and it is unlucky to get married. There are also people in the Han nationality who avoid the birth of men and women in the same year. Especially avoid being born in the same month of the same year. There is a saying in Henan:? Uterine deficiency in the same age, different months and the same month ? Marriage of people born in the same year and month will affect the reproduction of the next generation.

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Marriage age taboo: get married according to the number of rows

Among the taboos of marriage age, there are also related to the ranking of brothers and sisters. For example, Dai people's old taboo that both men and women can't get married. According to the Dai legend, it is generally believed that a man who marries three women and four women cannot grow old together, otherwise the family will be unlucky and childless for life; Uzbek, Jingpo and Han people all have the custom of getting married in the order of brothers and sisters. If this order is violated, it will be taboo. Uzbeks, according to traditional customs, young men and women must follow the principle of "growing up first, then being young". Brother is unmarried, brother can't marry first, and sister can't marry first; My sister is unmarried, my brother is unmarried, and my sister can't get married; The same is true of Jingpo people. If you want to marry the second daughter first, the man must give the eldest daughter a cow as a gift for crossing the line, and the second daughter should also send necklaces (some worth two or three cows) to her sister to express her apologies for having to marry first. Brothers should also consider the order of marriage. If there is no special reason, the younger brother will never get married before the older brother. Han people also have this taboo, but it is not very strict. If the younger brother marries before the older brother, or the younger sister marries before the older sister, he always apologizes to the older brother or sister, or he always feels that he has done something wrong to the older brother or sister. Because in any case, it is always against the rules and involves the marriage of men and women, it seems to have some similar relationship with incest, so it is taboo.

However, marriage is not always carried out according to the number of rows. Did the ancient Han people have it? The eldest daughter is not allowed to marry? The custom of. According to Hanshu? Geography ",Qi Xianggong, so that parents and daughters of China people are not allowed to get married, named? Witch? , for the main temple. Getting married is bad for your family, and people still think it's vulgar? . Although it was Qi Xianggong who first did this to have sex with his twin sister (as a cover for her promiscuity), it eventually formed a marriage custom of an era. Under this custom, the marriage of the second daughter is no longer restricted by her sister, because her sister never gets married.

The taboo of marriage age:

The taboo of marriage age mentioned above is reasonable and scientific except that the age gap between men and women should not be too big and marriage should not be too early or too late. Besides, it makes sense to get married according to the number of rows, which can reflect the respect of young people for the elderly. As for the taboos of even and odd numbers, there are also men's little three, six six, nine nine; Taboos for freshmen and juniors and male juniors are idealistic and have no scientific basis. From the real marriage, it is not difficult to find examples that can prove that these taboos are nonsense. What's more, it made a big fuss about the age and birthday of both parties, perfunctory a set of principles of marriage taboo based on birth and five behaviors. That is, pilgrims? The truth that thieves harm thieves, and use this to judge the quality of marriage.

Now, astrology is out of date, and few people believe in it any more. But in the past, this procedure was very cautious and strict. Han people usually write the date of birth of both men and women on a piece of red paper through the contact of matchmakers, commonly known as? Geng Tie? . Don't use white paper for Geng stickers. If the words above are even, avoid the singular. If it is singular, it can be added under the male name. Jane? Word, female name? Rui? Words form an even number. After exchanging Geng posts, both men and women put the posts on shrines in their own homes, and some pressed the posts in front of the Kitchen God tablet and then burned incense for the ancestors of the gods. If three sticks of incense burn neatly, it is considered auspicious; If three sticks of incense burn unevenly, it is considered auspicious? Do you have a length? , unlucky, so afraid to get married. In other areas, put a bowl of clear water next to the shrine. If no moths and insects fall into the bowl within three days, it is a sign of good luck. If moths and bugs fall into the bowl within three days, they are considered unlucky and dare not talk about marriage again. In short, within three days after receiving the paste, it is time to follow the instructions of our ancestors.

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In addition to the above two forms of divination, Han, Yao, She and other ethnic groups are also afraid of accidents such as broken bowls and lamps, broken chopsticks, human and animal diseases, quarrels and fights, robbers, fires, barking dogs and haunted houses. If such a thing happens, it will be blamed on the dissatisfaction of the ancestors with this marriage, so the eight characters should be returned immediately. This marriage will naturally fall through. If it is safe within three days, it is considered that the ancestors have approved it, which is auspicious and the marriage can continue. The next step is to give the horoscope of both men and women to the fortune teller? Cost-effective Let's see if there is any danger of mutual containment. If there is no bad luck, you can continue the following wedding ceremony; If you find a mutual gram in the eight characters, you should stop immediately and stop there. It can be seen that the eight-character combination occupies a very key position in the old marriage customs. And then what? Eight characters? Is that everyone can't control their own things. Once born, the eight characters are fixed and no one can change them. What do you mean? When you fall into the soil, you will be killed. ? Therefore, this method of combining eight characters is completely a fatalistic inference, which has no scientific reason. I don't know how many beautiful marriages have been broken up by it in the past. This feudal superstition can only increase and strengthen people. Everything is fate, and nothing is impossible. Negative illusion, can't have the slightest sense of progress.

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As for the principle of horoscope, there are many. For example, when a man chooses a wife, he should pay attention to her personality. Fuxing? 、? Child star? . If the husband star and the son star are obvious and intact, it is a good marriage. If you marry them, you can be rich and prosperous, and your husband will be honored or disgraced. If the husband star and the son star are dim, it is a big taboo. There is also a good marriage between men and women. If one is strong and the other is weak, then the male life is slightly stronger and the female life is slightly weaker. The most taboo is that women are strong, men are weak or men are strong and women are weak. Will one side be defeated by the other? Dying? Yes However, how to calculate the fate of the eight characters is a matter for fortune tellers. Although they also have? Chen Geng arrived in JOE, and the soldiers arrived in Wu Geng? Wait a minute. A set? Tian Ke Di Chong? The method of calculation, but after all, is calculated, not something in folk memory. Although this calculated good or bad luck can interfere with folk beliefs, obviously, it cannot be regarded as pure folk beliefs, just as all social systems can interfere with and influence folk beliefs, but it cannot be regarded as folk beliefs. In addition, this kind of fortune teller's inference often presents a changeable, utilitarian and practical cultural outlook, which is added on the basis of folk beliefs? Practical literati? Or? Practical homo sapiens? The creation of making a living? Go ahead. , which contains a fixed way of deduction, but also mixed with prophecy, folk philosophy, folk beliefs and personal experiences and so on. Because it is beyond the scope of folk beliefs, I won't say much here.