Marriage tree and wealth boat are not good, marriage tree wealth boat 2022

Marriage trees and rich boats are not good.

Text/Zhihu @ Zhang Gong Anchor/Mu Feng

10 years ago, I was still in college. At that time, in order to get enough credits, I took some courses in literature and history. While studying the history of modern literature in China, the teacher spent two weeks telling us the life stories of four famous writers, especially their marriages.

Guo Moruo is one of them. The teacher said that this literature has three wives, 1 lover. But when he gets along with everyone, he has almost no sense of responsibility. For his own interests and career, he will "abandon these women from the beginning". Even leaving is purely selfish and described as "sacrifice." Finally, of these four women, two, two hold a grudge against him for life. He has more than a dozen children, but most of them refuse to admit him. Guo Moruo was lonely in his later years and addicted to copying the diary of his dead son, which can be described as a bleak evening scene. When the teacher told the story, his tone was cold and heartless.

The second is Lao She. The teacher talked about him for a long time. When Lao She was young, his family was very poor. A kind-hearted man named Liu helped them to be orphans and widows, and even sent Lao She to study abroad. Lao She fell in love with the daughter of a good man. But when he returned from his studies, the good man had exhausted all his family wealth and died after becoming a monk. His daughter went to be an inferior prostitute because of her family's decline. This regrettable story has become a pain in Lao She's heart. He wrote Untitled and Little God to commemorate his first love, and he didn't get married until he was 34 years old through a friend's introduction. His wife is also a new youth and engaged in cultural work, and she is very supportive of Lao She in difficult times. In principle, this combination can be said to be ideal. However, Lao She has never been enthusiastic about their marriage, and several articles written to his wife can also be seen that it is only out of reasonable guilt, without any inner turmoil. When he was in the southwest, he once met a confidante, but their relationship was soon discovered by his wife. In the end, he dared not cross the rubicon like Guo Moruo. In the eyes of others, they are still a good couple. I don't know. At a special time, my wife exposed Lao She. Lao She couldn't stand the torture and blow, and finally sank into Taiping Lake and died. Some people say that they once saw Lao She's wife and were mean to him, even gnashing their teeth. When the teacher tells a story, there are deep regrets between the lines.

The third is Shen Congwen. The story is rather boring. Shen Congwen, a country boy, fell in love with Zhang Zhaohe at first sight and wrote hundreds of registered love letters. At first, Zhang Zhaohe thought he was very young, but in the end, he was slowly moved by his dedication and literary talent. With the help of Hu Shi and other bosses, Zhang Zhaohe married Shen Congwen. However, after marriage, the two separated because of the disparity in their growing environment. But later, Zhang Zhaohe returned to Shen Congwen, woke him up on key issues and told him to give up writing and study history. Zhang Zhaohe did his duty to Shen Congwen, but his incomprehension continued to the end of his life. It was not until her husband died that she suddenly discovered the depth of their feelings. She wrote an elegy on her husband's tombstone: "Never give up, strive for the upper reaches;" : I am also kind and generous. I am a child. " The word 16 condensed Shen Congwen's life. When the teacher told this story, she felt some sympathy and some relief.

The fourth is Qian Zhongshu. Everyone is familiar with the stories of Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang. What the teacher said is not much different from most of the Errenzhuan stories told now. The only thing I remember is that in a special period, the two still protected each other very well. The couple even pulled someone's hair to protect one of them when they were in conflict with others. This detail has always made me feel that their love is pure. The affection between them has nothing to do with hobbies, material things, or even honor and face, and has truly achieved "being ignorant of the world and seeking only the initial heart". When the teacher told the story of Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang, his tone was full of envy.

When Qian Zhongshu's story was finished, the teacher suddenly said, I have a piece of advice to tell all the students present. Guo Moruo's marriage is immoral, so his old age is the most desolate. Lao She's marriage is moral and emotionless, and it may be able to support on weekdays. However, when encountering major difficulties, both husband and wife will easily break up and even hurt each other to seek self-protection. Shen Congwen's marriage is moral and emotional, but he lacks understanding. Such a marriage is stable, but it may lack fun or be full of unwillingness. Qian Zhongshu's marriage brought morality, affection and fun, so they became each other's soul mates and experienced the best side of love. Marriage choice is a very important step in a person's life. I hope everyone will take marriage seriously in the future, and do not seek to reach the level of Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang, but at least learn from Shen Congwen and firmly hold the two bottom lines of morality and feelings. It is impossible for a person to live a lifetime, seventy or eighty years old, without encountering any changes in such a long time. A moral and emotional marriage is like a broken ship. No matter how big the waves are, it can carry them. Because you know that you still have people to see and responsibilities to fulfill, the power of this idea is equal to. His words were constantly reminded and confirmed in my later life.

Picture: Panoramic vision

I once had a Japanese boss who was a successful man. He is over 50 years old and divorced once. His ex-wife and a pair of children have completely cut off contact with him. After being alone for several years, he found another wife, and they have been living in peace until now. When I was on a business trip in Japan, I saw him walk back to Roppongi after work at 9: 00 p.m. and go to a convenience store to buy meat and vegetables on the way. The next day, I asked it curiously. He said: In my family, I buy food and cook for two days a week. No matter how busy I am, this rule will not change. In Japan, the status of women is still relatively low. As a respected boss in the industry, I think his behavior is a bit strange, but I didn't ask much in the end. He didn't come to see me off until the company closed down. I said, "You are on a business trip in China. You go back to the hotel early every night, go to Japanese KTV to talk about business and behave well, and often go home to cook for your wife. This is completely different from the Japanese manager I imagined. " After listening to my words, he smiled, and then told me with a serious face: men should know how to understand and control their desires. I made a big mistake when I was young, so now I understand that I should be kind to my family. Before he left, he emphasized again: "A man's happiness lies in controlling his own desires. Playing with your family in good times may not be a problem. But if you reach the bottom of your life and lose your family, you really have nothing. You must remember this sentence. " In principle, I should have had a hard time understanding this passage, but somehow, I actually understood it.

Picture: Panoramic vision

My marriage with my wife should belong to Shen Congwen. We fell in love at first sight, but we have to admit that we didn't know each other well when we got married. My wife's ideal partner, positive sunshine, not too many "wild dreams", strong body, love sports, integrity, good at interpersonal communication. But I, on the contrary. I am not only gloomy and cowardly, but also like thinking and hate sports. Therefore, our life is like this: feelings make us eager to hug at any time, but the differences between the three views make us very tired. Once, I felt a little sorry. Maybe our life was so dull and boring. Later, I chose to go to Denmark and became a product manager, while my wife chose to stay in Shanghai for development alone. Because I am not used to the weather in Denmark, some colleagues are unfriendly, and I lack understanding of the global market, so I am depressed and decadent, even to the point where I need to maintain my mood. My wife vaguely found something strange, but the distance of more than 6000 kilometers is just around the corner. I keep saying I'm okay, but in fact I'm about to collapse. One day, I shaved my hair with a razor for six months and scraped a bald spot on the back of my head. When my wife was with me that day, she suddenly asked me to turn my head to show her. After I did this, I laughed and cried. A month later, she quit her job and came to Denmark to accompany me. It was a long time before she told me why she came to Denmark. Because that time she saw my hairstyle and suddenly felt that if she didn't come with me, I might die. My tears suddenly flowed down, and my heart was full of unprecedented warmth. My wife got pregnant soon after she came, and then we went through childbirth together. My wife has grown up after giving birth to a child. About 15 minutes, I experienced the pain of losing her for the first time That feeling is extremely difficult to describe, because every time I start thinking in that direction, an electric current paralyzes my brain.

Picture: Panoramic vision I learned later that this phenomenon is called pressure protection. The reason is that my nervous system, after evaluation, thinks that I may not accept this ending, so I don't think about it. I also understand a truth: the person who coaxes you with sweet words may not really love you, but the person who gives everything to save you when life is at stake must be a qualified lover. The value of marriage to ordinary people is not to make you happy every day, nor to make you feel love and harmony all the time. Many times, marriage is even the opposite. It ties your hands and feet with HongLing, binds a lot of irrelevant gossip and worldly wisdom to you, makes you tired, and makes you wonder what all this means. But if you have experienced enough, one day you will understand that the real value of marriage is actually reflected in the dark side of life. When you are lonely, there is someone around you listening to your nonsense and doing nothing with you; When you are empty, a look will suddenly appear, making you realize that you need to make some changes; When you are alive, there is still a door open for you. The people inside will not be hard on you, but will also try to heal your wounds and grieve for your sadness.

I remember when I got married, my former Japanese boss sent me a blessing from Tokyo. Maybe I haven't done this before. The old people in the village are very unnatural. He wished me a happy wedding in a blunt tone and asked me to take my wife to Tokyo to play. Maybe he thought it was lame and added an email. Special emphasis: everything should be family-oriented. Nearly 60 years old, he negotiated with Bill Gates for 72 hours, and obtained angel investment from Son, who was once regarded as a "lifesaver" by the richest man in China. However, he feels that the most valuable experience for me in the past 60 years is only four words-family is the most important.

Picture: Panoramic vision

What sustains family and marriage? I remembered the teacher's warning: "I hope everyone will take marriage seriously in the future and not reach the realm of Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang, but at least learn from Shen Congwen and firmly hold the two bottom lines of morality and feelings." What caused the breakdown of family and marriage? I remembered the Japanese boss's advice: "A man's happiness lies in controlling his own desires. Playing with your family in good times may not be a problem. But if you reach the bottom of your life and lose your family, you really have nothing. " I think this sentence applies not only to men, but also to women; Not only before marriage, but also after marriage. Light up "look" and encourage friends. In the past, cars and horses were slow, and a book, The Scholar, was a window to know the world. Now things are complicated, and it is still a warm and pure text paradise. Slow down and read together.

: Zhihu @ Zhang Gong, please.

The above is about a bad marriage tree and a rich boat, and it is about Shen Congwen's sharing. After reading Marriage Tree Fortune Boat 2022, I hope this will help everyone!