Some people say that more than half of the reasons for children's unsatisfactory marriage are caused by parents. Do you agree?

52-year-old in-laws, who don't go to work, have to take two granddaughters at home and let the 35-year-old daughter-in-law go out to work, but the daughter-in-law doesn't want to. My father-in-law actually proposed to turn my grandson into a grandson and take my aunt's twin son home for another one.

20 1 1, Xiaoyan suspects that her husband is having an affair, but her in-laws protect her husband. In a rage, she left her young son and left her hometown in Hunan alone to work in Guangdong.

When I was working in a factory in Guangdong, I met a boy named Zhong through my mobile phone in my spare time. Both of them are from Hunan.

However, Xiaoyan was 28 years old, married and had a son, while Jason Chung was only 23 years old, not only five years younger than Xiaoyan, but also unmarried.

However, both of them didn't mind, and they soon got together and talked about the brother-sister relationship for five years.

Xiaoyan got a divorce certificate for the first time, and she got a marriage certificate with Jason Chung. Two years later, Xiaoyan gave birth to a little daughter to Jason Chung.

Today, the youngest daughter is only 1 many years old. Xiaoyan suddenly returned to her family with her two daughters alone and filed for divorce.

Jason Chung doesn't want a divorce. She took her mother to Xiaoyan's family many times, hoping to take her home. Xiaoyan resolutely refused.

After many persuasion, Xiaoyan agreed not to divorce, but put forward another condition: she must be separated.

In fact, Jason Chung has no other brothers, only a married sister, and he is the only child in the family, so there is no need to separate.

However, Xiaoyan told everyone angrily that she and her in-laws can't live under the same roof because they are too patriarchal.

As a result, when she found out it was her daughter, she took one look and quickly left the ward, standing outside the door and ignoring her. She wanted to drink water, and even called three times, but her mother-in-law didn't hear her.

Later, the aunt next door couldn't watch it anymore. She went outside to call her mother-in-law, who was reluctant to pour her a glass of water.

Looking at her mother-in-law's attitude, Xiaoyan was very chilling. After leaving the hospital, she decided to go back to her mother's house to have a confinement, but her mother-in-law knew that she had no mother and did not stop her.

After confinement in her parents' home for half a month, at the urging of Jason Chung, her mother-in-law came to take care of her.

But her mother-in-law said that she would take care of Xiaoyan, but she didn't do her best. If you don't get up in the morning, you won't make breakfast for her. You only have lunch and dinner every day.

Later, Xiaoyan was so hungry that she told a neighbor's sister-in-law, who angrily reprimanded her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law began to cook breakfast for her.

Because Xiaoyan was born to her parents, she was born when she arrived at the hospital. She doesn't know whether it is a boy or a girl.

I didn't smell the medicine until I entered the ward and stood outside the door. Maybe the hospital is too noisy. She didn't hear Xiaoyan ask her to pour water.

Liu Fen also said: If she doesn't like Xiaoyan having a daughter, she won't raise her granddaughter alone for five years. Instead, she accused Xiaoyan of abandoning her.

Because, with a lesson from the past, when Xiaoyan gave birth to a little girl, Liu Fen rushed to the hospital early and offered to take care of Xiaoyan in the hospital.

As a result, Xiaoyan was disgusted when she saw her. What are you doing in the hospital? In less than two sentences, Xiaoyan found an excuse to let her go back.

Xiaoyan didn't deny it, but came straight to the point: she really didn't like her mother-in-law, because she wouldn't help, but would make her unhappy.

Xiaoyan still firmly said: Either separate or divorce, because even if her mother-in-law doesn't prefer sons to daughters, her father-in-law can't let her go.

It turned out that Xiaoyan had given birth to a son before, and now after giving birth to two daughters in succession, the doctor said that she could not regenerate and directly had a ligation.

Coincidentally, when the youngest daughter was 2 months old, Jason Chung's sister Tingting, Xiaoyan's aunt, also gave birth to a child, and they were twin sons.

Knowing Xiaoyan's ligation, my father-in-law suddenly proposed: hold Xiaoyan's little daughter in his arms, exchange one of her sons for her, and turn her grandson into a grandson.

Don't say Xiaoyan didn't agree, even the couple refused. Although the child did not change in the end, it made Xiaoyan and her father-in-law have a gap.

Aren't you getting a divorce? Why are you still in my house? Let's go If you want to clean up, I'll see if you have the ability. If you don't go, you have seed.

Liu Fen took the old clock, pushed him out of the door, told him to leave quickly, and told everyone that the old clock had been drinking all the year round, had brain diseases and was mentally abnormal, so he could not take his words seriously.

On the other hand, Tingting quickly explained that her father had drunk and had a bad temper. When she was pregnant with twins, her father said it was okay several times and tried to hit her with a bench. She is used to it.

But Xiaoyan refused to submit to humiliation and insisted: either divorce, one person and one woman; Either separate, she and her husband take their two daughters out to rent a house and come back for the New Year once a year.

Jason Chung, who has been silent, seems to be in a dilemma. On the one hand, he is the mother who brought him up, on the other hand, he is his wife and children. He doesn't know how to choose.

After seeing his son's choice, Liu Fen suddenly got emotional and pulled Jason Chung's screams, trying to shout: All right, you go, you all go, now.

Embarrassed Jason Chung angrily pushed his mother away, and Liu Fen fell down on the sofa and began to cry, even hitting his head against the wall.

Even if the son wants to divide, as a mother, there is no need to collapse like this, right? What is there to hide?

Tingting cried and told everyone: because dad drinks wine three times a day, his brain is not very good. So far, he has not gone to work or worked for more than 30 years.

It is difficult for a mother to raise two children by herself. Father drinks every day and will beat and scold her. For the sake of two children, my mother chose to endure.

If Jason Chung moves away, there will be only Liu Fen and her husband at home. She will feel unable to live alone with such a husband.

Therefore, Liu Fen insisted that his son should not be separated.

But Xiaoyan doesn't care: many people in their 60 s work in factories, and their in-laws are only 52 years old, but they don't want to go out to work.

Since their marriage, their in-laws have never given them a penny of help, but they want their husbands to earn money to support a family of six.

Liu Fen explained: Jason Chung earned only 5,000 yuan a month, gave Xiaoyan 2,500 yuan to raise her little granddaughter, and raised her granddaughter with her husband 1500 yuan. She only has 1 000 yuan left, which is enough for living expenses, and she can't save any money at all.

However, Xiaoyan refused. If the in-laws do not agree to the separation, the husband will give the in-laws money every month, and she can only choose to divorce.

Jason Chung suddenly told everyone alone: Xiaoyan was born and her mother died in childbirth. Xiaoyan was not properly educated since childhood, which led to Xiaoyan's inability to treat people.

After many years of marriage, Xiaoyan hasn't spoken to her parents. When I meet her, I never say hello to my relatives here, just like a stranger.

When they are outside, whether there is an emergency or not, her mother calls Xiaoyan and sends messages, but Xiaoyan never answers or returns messages.

After working in the factory for several years, Xiaoyan has few friends. She has an eccentric temper. All colleagues shook their heads when they mentioned her and didn't like her.

But he and Xiaoyan have been together for so many years. Apart from these dissatisfaction, he still has feelings for Xiaoyan. In order to maintain this marriage, he will support Xiaoyan's choice.

However, Xiaoyan thinks too naively. You know, even if they are separated, Xiaoyan will go to Guangdong with her two children, and the children's hukou and schooling are also very troublesome.

After learning her husband's thoughts, Xiaoyan was silent and proposed another solution: to take care of two children at home and let her in-laws go out to work.

Jason Chung shook his head again, and said helplessly, my father can't do anything at all, let alone go out to work.

His mother worked hard to raise him and his sister for over 20 years. Now he wants to take his granddaughter to relax at home, but he is embarrassed to force his mother to go out to make money.

The two sides continue to be deadlocked. If the separation fails, the in-laws will not go out to make money, and the last step can only be divorce.

Finally:

It has great influence, but it cannot be generalized.

The ratio between times and gender is closely related to customs, personal character and marriage concept. The main reason for success or failure depends on oneself, and cannot be completely pushed to others.

Especially emotional problems, no one can intervene. The greater the wealth, the more ups and downs the marriage will be, which shows that material things can't guarantee a long life together. Has the spiritual aspect been neglected by everyone? I don't know.

I agree. The first point is that parents' genetic character will be passed on to children subtly, and parents' attitudes and attitudes will also affect children, that is to say, what kind of parents educate what kind of children, and families with abnormal views have a great influence on marriage.

The second point: everyone in the husband's family is willing to participate in everything from an incorrect angle. I remember that sentence: "Wrong is wrong, and right is wrong."

For example, we received something from our mother-in-law's elders, and the daughter-in-law who knows how to communicate must reciprocate. But our family has to fight for this little thing, because the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law of the previous generation is not good, so the man went to his mother, and her mother refused to communicate, but as a third child, I just didn't want to communicate and couldn't eat other people's things for free. If they do that, I am nothing! Marriage is very simple, and we must fight for these little things.

There is also an aunt who lives in a shack. Because of the grievances of the previous generation, no matter whether the mother-in-law is right or wrong, the children have to give her face. I understand that. I have to stay. Menstruation came to my house on business, and I warmly welcomed her, so menstruation understood me and understood that I had to. I want to add a digression here. Relatives should never get a chariot. It's embarrassing for me not to get along well.

For example, at the end of the year, 29 men went home for the New Year. It can be said that the family is busy with the Spring Festival, but at this time of the year, her mother-in-law will lead them to play mahjong together. Our custom is that every family cooks a table of rice on the morning of New Year's Eve. My mother-in-law doesn't have to cook, jiaozi. Every year he can eat vegetables with his mother-in-law's family. I eat at home with my children, who are all older. Still, one year I was so angry that I went home to serve food. Who doesn't cook in advance for Chinese New Year? Why did you go to your house to get food? ! I haven't gone home to get it since.

Marriage is long, there are too many such things, but meeting people with different values will ruin your marriage.

I used to be naive and thought I was looking for someone. My family is very good. I didn't spend time with them. As long as my life is harmonious, it will not affect my marriage. But when you meet a single-minded family, you are right and redundant, and you will understand that marriage is not as simple as you think.

I agree that more than half of the reasons why children's marriages are not smooth are caused by parents. For example, if one parent cheated, or was selfish when he was a child, he didn't put his heart on the child, which led to the child not growing up in a healthy environment, and the marriage would not be smooth when the child grew up.

Yes, when I was young, I thought my mother was particularly strong and unreasonable. My father is always bullied, but he always criticizes my mother's mistakes. Later, after getting married, I found that I understood my mother very well and suffered too much injustice. I can't tell anyone, and I dare not tell my parents that the children are too young to get a divorce. I was wronged by myself. As long as I can remember, I knew that my grandparents were very bad to our family, and my mother didn't look at me and my brother. Dad listened to grandma and thought mom couldn't do it. Once, she didn't go home for the New Year for ten years. How much did a woman Cain put up with? Once, her grandparents hurt her countless times, because her father gave her all the money for working, and her brother had no money to see a doctor. My mother kowtowed to my grandparents to borrow money, and my mother kowtowed for a few days in exchange for my grandmother throwing 50 yuan in front of my mother. How can I get to the county hospital? My brother was delayed like this. My mother said my brother would shout at that time. My mother saw the lost child with her own eyes. How do you think she should bear it? So my father still didn't care. My grandparents brainwashed me. Since then, my mother has been ill. Whenever she cries, she has a splitting headache. Later, my mother seemed a little abnormal. She said she often heard someone knocking at the door, so she opened the door. My brother is back. Every time my mother opens the door for him, he walks in by himself. But she is soft-hearted. When my grandfather was lying in the hospital bed, she still took money like my uncles, and she often went to see him. Grandpa used to eat at my house before he died. She treated him well, but she was in pain, so she quarreled and cried when she met anything. Later, I lived like my mother. My in-laws have gone too far because they want to enjoy their retirement, so they let me. My mother-in-law specifically inquired about the easy abortion in the first three months, so she began to do all kinds of evil deeds and deliberately aborted her. My husband listens to him, too. Now I often cry and quarrel. I want to slap myself when I think about it. When I was bullied and insulted at will, others pointed at me and didn't resist, I knew I was wronged. I also bought good clothes and a mobile phone for others with my money. I don't think my mother told me how to behave. From an early age, I was told to be kind, patient and kind to my in-laws. If they go too far, that's their business. We always change our hearts with our conscience. My mother said never to let my in-laws say no, or the whole family would lose face. As a result, I was scarred and trampled. Fortunately, I woke up early and stayed away from them. I have thought more than once that I will never be like my mother. I will never wait on my in-laws. They are too far away. I used to think that my mother-in-law said a lot of mistakes and did a lot of excesses, but I agree with one sentence. She said that she never expected me to support her old age and never wanted to see me all her life, so she dared to bully me. Now I especially agree that we are not in contact. I take care of two children by myself and never ask for anything. Of course, they have never seen my pregnant child. I asked them to go home this year to save face for them. I refuse. I really don't want to live like my mother, and I am completely injured every time. Later, I had to serve with my conscience. I had to grieve myself. I did everything with my conscience. I don't want to grieve myself in the future. Although it's all over, I can't forgive it. I can't forgive myself. Only I know how hard it is. Only I know how many times I cried at night, and I dare not cry during the day for fear of scaring the children. My husband is afraid to come back from work at night. Afraid of giving him pressure, afraid to cry in front of her family, afraid that she would feel uncomfortable. Anyway, I don't want to be always soft-hearted like my mother. It is enough for me to be soft-hearted a few times, and I don't want them to hurt me more. So, really, parents have a great influence on their children's marriage. That's how my mother got here, and she asked me to do the same. So is my husband. His mother is very strong and listens to everything. Even if I let him hit his wife, he really hit me. When I stopped thinking about anyone's divorce, he saw the facts clearly and changed, but he couldn't make up for countless injuries, so his parents really had a great influence on their children's marriage. Always thinking of others, his mother-in-law is too much. She eats my brother's food, spends my brother's money, and makes him eat and play all kinds of things. The point is that she still hates my brother, and we won't refuse. It's all influenced by my parents.

I agree. I couldn't agree more. If the parents' marriage is not smooth, the children's marriage is basically not much. Because the influence of family background on children is subtle and engraved in his bones. Parents are not good at running their own marriages. First, their children will inherit their parents' genes to some extent. Second, add the influence and educational concept of parents from childhood to adulthood. Children will run their own marriages the way their parents run their own marriages.

I agree that parents have a lot to do in educating their children. Marriage is no joke. If you choose, you will be responsible. The marriage of two children, let the children choose by themselves, and parents can't participate too much. Parents should educate their children, respect their husbands and their in-laws. Instead of provoking children to be the only one.

Although we can't generalize, family background has an influence on children's growth and the formation of marriage concept. Therefore, parents should give their children a harmonious family atmosphere, which is good for their future growth!

Children's marriage is not smooth, that is, children can't handle intimate relationships well. The source of a person's intimate relationship first comes from parents, including parent-child relationship with parents and husband-wife relationship between parents. If parents' marital relationship is not harmonious, children will not learn how to get along with the opposite sex. The quarrel between parents gives the child an impression of being rejected by the opposite sex. Also, if the parent-child relationship between children and parents is not harmonious, similarly, they cannot acquire the skills of harmonious relationship from the family. Is that children don't have a good reference, how can they have this ability.

Children's marriage is not smooth, and more than half of the reasons come from parents. I agree. Observing people with bad marriages around them, either the parent-child relationship is not harmonious or the parent-child relationship is not harmonious. Isn't it?

It has a certain influence, doesn't it mean that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to handle? Honest officials can't break housework! So my suggestion is, don't live with your parents, just don't live together, but be filial!