How should two people communicate when they have a tendency to fall in love from the beginning? Afraid of screwing up. . . Thank you.

Love is the most sincere admiration for each other formed by two people in their own hearts based on certain material conditions and the same ideal of life. It is the strongest, most stable and single-minded feeling of longing for each other to become their lifelong partners.

Psychological imbalance and adjustment in love

Love is a prelude to creating a harmonious and happy marriage, and whether the ideal goal can be achieved through it is very important for psychological factors. Many young people fail in love, which is often caused by psychological barriers. The following psychological barriers need to be adjusted.

First, egocentric psychology

People with this mentality only ask their lover to change, listen to themselves, serve themselves and cater to their individual needs, regardless of each other's needs, interests, hobbies and values. So it is difficult to get the love of the opposite sex. People with this mentality can only say that they have the basic conditions for successful love if they change their values and learn to care, understand and respect others.

Second, perfect psychology.

Some people idealize lovers too much and set the standards too high, which is beyond the practical possibility. This greatly narrows the scope of mate selection and reduces the success rate of love. Especially for older young people, the psychology of seeking perfection is more prominent, and the result is repeated mistakes. It is not too late for people with this mentality to return to reality from idealization and adjust the criteria for mate selection in time.

Third, inferiority complex.

People with inferiority complex are not necessarily poor. Some of them are due to physical defects or professional reasons or some mistakes. Inferiority makes individuals isolated and isolated, unwilling to appear in public and unwilling to associate with the opposite sex. When you meet the ideal opposite sex, you lose the opportunity because you are afraid that the other person will look down on you and dare not pursue it boldly. People with this mentality should cheer up and establish a self-confidence and self-improvement mentality.

Fourth, herd mentality.

People with this mentality show a lack of opinion about lovers. When others say yes, they feel proud; When others say no, they feel unhappy, and often go with the flow and ruin their love. It is good for people with this mentality to discuss extensively, but they should carefully analyze and judge and make up their own minds.

Verb (abbreviation for verb) male chauvinism

People with this mentality not only think that men are better than women, but women also think that men should be better than women. Women demand that men's status and education should be higher than their own, but when men's status and education are lower than women's, they have no courage to pursue women. This is a remnant of the feudal society's idea of patriarchal ideology, and some young men and women are consciously bound by this concept. The key to overcome this kind of psychology is that young men and women should really understand the true meaning of love and establish the idea of equality between men and women.

Sixth, superstition.

Due to the influence of feudal superstition, some people ask God to worship Buddha and tell fortune in order to get married, which hinders the establishment and development of young men and women's love relationship and even leads to misfortune. People with this mentality should establish scientific concepts and eliminate the influence of ignorance and heresy.

Wu ruoquan's love motto

A wise man always knows how to stop when he is good. In love, the hardest thing is not to separate, but to choose the time to break up. People who can't hold their breath share too early, and people who procrastinate leave too late. The former, after things have changed, it is a pity to think about it; The latter, before things are over, has felt wronged. Stop when you are ready, let love stop before you feel guilty about each other, and leave good memories. The mystery of happiness, the combination of two people, is not the only way for love to end well. Take care of your own life and live a good life. Missing or complaining occasionally is another kind of happiness. In the face of unfinished forms of love, please leave lingering feelings in your memory.

Happiness is not just a career that can be achieved by "you love me and I love you". When two people are together, there are many objective problems that must be overcome and solved one by one. Economic ability, living habits, sexual preference, business, etc. Even getting along with family members is related to the overall situation.

Unwilling to let go, to put it bluntly, is often to satisfy your vanity and lack of affirmation of yourself. Therefore, no matter what causes love to stop, we should set each other free, let each other love again, and pursue another happiness that we should have. Who says he won't be happy without you?

Love is not sacrifice. Love is not possession. Love is actually enrichment. When you have love, let the other person be free; When you can't have it, both sides should let love be free. Even if you encounter the worst injustice and deviation in the world, a firm belief in love will still help to heal the wounds of the soul. It allows you to get out of the danger of pain as soon as possible and regain the peace of life. The wisdom of life lies not in the resentment left after loss, but in the more mature trust after learning the lesson.

It is not a bad thing to rush to help each other with advice; Make up your mind for each other further, you don't have to.

Good quality love: each has its own ideological fields, but they are interlinked.

Everyone has his own way.

Love quotes

Don't blame yourself for being irrational in love,

No one in love is awake.

10 psychology of extramarital love

First, psychological compensation

Some people take the initiative to find a third party or are willing to accept compensation from a third party because the husband and wife are separated and lonely, or because one of them has physical defects and is not satisfied physically, or because the husband and wife are not in harmony, thus forming an extramarital affair. In fact, sex life is not the whole content of husband and wife life. As long as the husband and wife strengthen contact, communicate more emotionally, miss each other in their hearts and live a full life, there is no need for compensation.

Second, lack of emotion.

Some lovers finally fail to get married, and both parties get married separately, or after one party gets married, the other party still secretly loves the other party. When one partner's life is difficult or the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, the other partner feels that he still owes the other partner's affection, and actively throws himself into the arms of his old lover, and the old love rekindles and produces an extramarital affair. In fact, all lovers are not necessarily married. Since both parties have their own families or the other party has a family, they should face the reality and cherish the feelings of husband and wife. When the other person's life is difficult or the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, it is useless to repay each other's feelings with extramarital affairs instead of helping each other.

Third, greed.

Some people covet each other's money, regardless of their own personality, and take the initiative to commit themselves to each other in exchange for a few copper coins, thus forming an extramarital affair. In fact, personality is priceless, and money is a thing outside. If you use more, you spend less. Why exchange priceless treasures for some copper coins? In addition, rich people should also avoid it. Since the other party is greedy for your money, why do you have to pay the truth for the other party and have sex?

Fourth, appearance psychology.

Some people take the initiative to show their love for the beauty of the woman or the bodybuilding of the man, thus having an extramarital affair. In fact, the beauty of appearance will naturally disappear with age, and only the beauty of mind is eternal, just like wine, the longer it gets, the more mellow it becomes. Therefore, the most important thing is to be good at discovering the bright spot of your spouse and give yourself a true feeling, so that beauty will naturally appear in the eyes of your lover.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) gratitude psychology

Some people have to sacrifice their bodies because of difficulties in life, or because their husbands are away for a long time, and their families have been taken care of by each other for a long time, and they have nothing to repay, thus resulting in extramarital affairs. In fact, since the other party sincerely helps you, it doesn't want your return. The other person is good to you, just keep it in mind. Why give your body? If this affects the other family, it is not a good intention to do bad things.

Sixth, revenge psychology.

Some couples have extramarital affairs because one of them refuses to listen to persuasion, and the other takes the initiative to find a third party in retaliation for the other, resulting in extramarital affairs. In fact, it is wrong to know that the other party is having an affair. Why are you looking for a third party? Isn't it a mistake? Besides, marriage is free, so is divorce. If the relationship has really broken down and there is no possibility of reconciliation, it is better to divorce and be friends than to retaliate against each other.

Seven, curious psychology

Some couples live an ordinary life and feel unremarkable, while the hero and heroine in the film and television are madly in love with their lovers, making waves, one after another, and enjoying themselves. They also wanted to experience this kind of life, so, driven by this curiosity, they had an affair. In fact, peace is a blessing. Don't look at the height of other mountains, the blessed don't know happiness.

Eight, hedonic psychology

Some people think that life is alive and they eat, drink and be merry when they are young, so they promiscuous with the opposite sex and have extramarital affairs. In fact, sexual liberation and obscene films and periodicals are harmful toxins, and each of us should consciously resist them, establish a correct moral outlook and outlook on life, and don't mistake arsenic for sugar.

Nine, mutual affection psychology

Some men and women help and support each other at work. Over time, the two sides have a good impression on two of a kind, resulting in an extramarital affair. In fact, a good helper at work may not be a good couple in life. Since both sides help and support each other in their work, why can't they get along like brothers and sisters?

X. Mutual benefit psychology

Some people use each other, collude with each other and commit crimes in partnership because of work constraints, and become two locusts on the same line. Either party can't live without the other, which leads to extramarital affairs. In fact, as the saying goes, "if you don't reach out, you will be caught." Once the scandal breaks out and people are imprisoned, the extramarital affairs here have to go to prison to "fall in love".

Types of love reasons

The types of love can be summarized as the following eight:

1. worship type

This kind of teenagers fall in love because they love each other. This kind of love is very common. According to the different reasons of love, it can be divided into the following three categories:

(1) instrument type

This kind of love is produced by loving each other's appearance, which is also the most common, but it is also the most difficult to sustain and stabilize. There are always handsome guys and beautiful women in school who are envied by the opposite sex, which includes this factor.

(2) specialization type

This is a love affair arising from appreciating each other's abilities or their own expertise. This kind of puppy love is often the initiative of girls.

(3) Personality type

This kind of love is produced because I like some qualities that I appreciate in the other person, and this kind of love lasts for a long time.

2. Curious

This is a love phenomenon caused by curiosity about the opposite sex. With the continuous development of sexual consciousness, teenagers will be curious about the body, life, psychology and attitude of the opposite sex, which is a psychological phenomenon of teenagers. Teenagers are prone to sexual impulses, thus maintaining a sensitive attitude towards the opposite sex. In order to satisfy this curiosity, they made friends with the opposite sex.

3. Imitation type

This is a love phenomenon that imitates the behavior in society, film and television works, newspapers and books.

4. Consistency types

This is a love phenomenon caused by the pressure of peers around. For example, a love relationship that doesn't exist in the first place may be invented by people around you, that is, "rumors" or "gossip". In such an environment, under the pressure of public opinion, it is easy to admire it.

5. Pleasant types

Adolescent men and women, as classmates or even deskmates, will have a more detailed and thorough understanding of each other because of more communication and information transmission, and it is easy to fall in love in this case. This is also an important reason for "classmate love" or even "deskmate love". This kind of love is integrated with true feelings, which is easy to develop and deepen.

6. Salary type

Some teenagers suffer setbacks in their study and life, and their self-esteem is damaged. In order to achieve the purpose of venting, they often look for the opposite sex to forget their pain and seek compensation. This kind of love is integrated with true feelings, which is easy to develop and deepen.

7. Reverse type

Due to social consciousness and public opinion, teenagers' sexual intercourse is often improperly interfered by their parents and teachers, which easily induces their psychology of "You forbid me to do this, but I will do it anyway". Under the action of this rebellious psychology, normal and appropriate heterosexual communication may soon be manifested in love.

8. Pathological types

In contemporary society, superior nutritional conditions are easy to lead to overnutrition, and the role of sex hormones contained in food or various special physiological diseases, family inheritance and other factors are easy to cause precocious puberty and even sexual metamorphosis. This is the main objective factor that induces adolescent puppy love.

The above types are also common in adult love, especially those who have never experienced puppy love for the first time. And because adults are more powerful and knowledgeable, the same consequences are worse than children in love.

Several stages of love

(1) Before an appointment

When you meet the invitation of the opposite sex, don't be at a loss, be sure to deal with it calmly!

If you don't like the other person, or even like him a little, but you don't want to make an appointment for the first time, you can decline gently. For example, I'm a little tired today, so can I make an appointment with you in a couple of days?

Remember not to be too determined and too arrogant, otherwise it is easy to scare the other party away!

If you don't like dating programs, you can tell him the truth, but you'd better make another suggestion, which is similar in nature and cost to the original program, so as not to disappoint the other party or feel troublesome!

(2) When dating

The first date should avoid meeting alone in a quiet place late at night, and try to keep a proper distance to prevent the other party from crossing the border involuntarily!

It is best for girls not to show off their amorous feelings often, lest the other party think that you are very open and have no intention of training, and avoid you. Of course, being too formal will make both sides look unnatural. You can get along with each other in a generous and natural manner, just as dating ordinary friends can make them leave a good impression on you!

(3) formal love

Even if you have started dating, you should try to be reserved and observe some proper etiquette, such as: have a sense of time, consider each other's economic ability, don't compare each other with old lovers, fully trust each other and don't interfere with each other's freedom!

You know, before you marry your partner, you have no right to interfere with his behavior and expose his privacy. So, don't ask him if he still misses several heterosexual couples. You shouldn't ask the other person how much he earns every month, and you shouldn't read his diary, letters and photo albums privately, which will only make him look down on you!

(4) Rejecting boyfriends

Many girls will feel at a loss when facing the demands of their boyfriends, such as kissing, making love or proposing marriage. On the one hand, they don't want to promise, on the other hand, they don't want to embarrass each other!

So you have to tell him frankly that you are not a casual girl and you like him very much, but you must wait for the two sides to have a deeper understanding before you can make progress!

Although you should be firm, don't swear, especially what the devil wears prada and the salty guy say will seriously hurt his self-esteem and your feelings!

(5) Visit each other

If you have been in love for a long time, you should take the initiative to suggest visiting his house, which not only shows your politeness, but also shows that you are a generous person. As the other party, you should try to create opportunities for parents and partners to talk, so as to establish a harmonious relationship with each other's family, which can help their feelings progress better and faster!

(6) Sharing benefits

In the early days of love, both men and women enjoy being alone and are satisfied wherever they go, but after a long time, they often feel that eating and watching movies is too monotonous. At this time, you should tell the other person what you have always wanted to do but didn't have a chance to do. I hope the other person can share your interests, or let yourself participate in the other person's hobbies. For example, he likes bowling, and you can ask him to teach you how to bowl, and then get together.

How to fall in love

First, "respect" the opposite sex

The starting point of healthy love is to "respect" each other. Whether a person is the ideal object of love is related to whether he/she knows how to respect each other. Many boys will play dumb in front of girls they like, dress strangely (for example, how thick their arms are exposed), be cruel, swear, behave indecently and even hit girls, which are all manifestations of disrespect for women. Some brothers have the same problem. It is unnatural to dress up their crosses in front of their favorite sisters. Respecting each other means believing that the other person is mature and that the other person can judge whether to communicate or not, rather than boasting and deliberately covering it up.

The performance of mature mentality includes:

Always show up at each other's side, or greet him, give him a short condolence card, lend him a good book just published, and try to let him know more about you.

A mature girl should learn to distinguish the information given by the boys around her, which are faint goodwill and which are general goodwill. Girls can be mature enough to give a hint of affirmation or rejection. In the communication between men and women, we can learn many lessons, one of which is how the man interprets the hints given by the girl, or the girl learns to distinguish the hints given by the man; Sometimes excessive tension, fantasy, and "inappropriate" encouragement from peers ... make it more difficult to fall in love.

Every mature boy and girl should learn to accept others' rejection, which will make their hearts stronger and let them take on the responsibility of being parents in the future. Don't give up on yourself, thinking that you are left behind, unwanted and lovelorn. Rejection is not lovelorn, because affection for the opposite sex, appreciation, and even feelings nurtured by oneself are not love.

Love is a serious term, and it is the feeling that men and women make a contract before God and are deeply committed to each other. Many people claim to be lovelorn, but they are still in a narcissistic (self-centered) state, and they don't really think about each other's happiness.

Second, establish "deep communication"

Deep communication is the second important condition for men and women to manage their relationship with heart. In-depth communication means that during the dating process, both parties observe each other's behavior, understand each other's understanding depth, service desire, life values, views on fame and fortune, and views on family and children.

Many people are often very close when they are in love, giving each other a lot of promises, but they have no idea what kind of person they are and what they want in life. How does he know what is important and what is not? Who do you listen to at the last minute of a big event?

Deep communication comes from a person's deep commitment. The focus of communication is not only skill, but also content. The person a person promises determines the characteristics of his life. If two people dedicate their feelings to Jesus, his life will gradually have a quality that the world does not have; That's a very, very valuable thing, more important than appearance, wealth and education. Some people insist on marrying people with lofty beliefs, and they should be really serious, because only in the depth of commitment can they get along and realize each other's most precious life characteristics.

Too young to fall in love, the main reason is that I don't know what a lifetime commitment is, and I lack in-depth communication. He will only fill the dating process with intimacy and plant the initial regret in the future.

Third, always aim at "fair weight"

There are many judgments to be made from falling in love to getting married.

A person should make an accurate judgment: choosing one end of the balance is what has happened, and the other end should be the weight in his bag. These weights need to be revised frequently for our master, so that we can put the weights at the other end of the balance and make a correct judgment.

Many people ask each other for a long time to meet all the requirements of their parents, or the image requirements of handsome men and beautiful women on TV, the romantic requirements of novels, social education and wealth.

These requirements are not bad, sometimes it is a kind of protection (for example, parents require each other to have the ability to work), sometimes it can reduce social pressure (for example, education), and sometimes it can promote communication between the two sides (for example, the family background is similar) ...

It is appropriate to say that many immature relationships end because of these pressures. Because the marriage after love has a longer road to go, more pressure to bear and more responsibilities to bear. When they are in love, they can't bear these external pressures, and this love is gone, which is also good. At this time, analyze the reasons, correct the weight, take a break and find other objects.

Once you enter the promise of marriage from love, the first thing to consider is not the views of parents, society and TV, but the views of the other party. A boy or girl, in the whole process of communication and future marriage, needs to constantly look to the Lord in order to make a correct and desirable choice.

In the whole process of finding a partner, "waiting" is hard, but in order to have a suitable partner, all the waiting is worth it. If there is no partner in the end, a man or a woman is still a complete and independent person, not lacking half a person. On the contrary, many problems such as marital discord, infertility pressure, child pressure, parenting troubles, economic pressure and so on. Will be eliminated.

Not being married is not only less painful than a wrong marriage, but also more free to serve and help others than a happy marriage. Keep a heart willing to step into marriage.

Communication between men and women is a never-ending knowledge. In the whole process, even on the occasion of love, there are still many unexpected things that need constant adjustment, solution and growth together.

The attraction of human nature and the system of marriage all have a final good intention, which is to let people know. Although we are never perfect, we have love and acceptance; Therefore, when two people are in contact, they can look up to pity and bless together, which is the love that suits them.

Since you have chosen love, you should know how to cherish it. Love is hard-won, it is a kind of fate! We must firmly believe that love can last forever!