What are the marriage customs of the ancient Han nationality?

Observe and evaluate the suitability of future spouse or son.

In the old society, men and women didn't kiss, and women couldn't go out, and they couldn't go out. They are deep in the boudoir and can't see their faces. After the blind date, the man usually puts forward the idea of seeing it. This kind of first visit to a woman's house under the guidance of a matchmaker is called blind date.

In ancient times, there were two ways of blind date. One is that the man's parents or aunts come forward and visit the woman's house one day. The woman's parents usually let her daughter show her face, such as pouring tea, and the man's family will take a look at the woman's appearance, figure, posture and manners. Sometimes blind date depends on the prime minister, but it's not as exaggerated as fortune telling. Generally, a woman's happiness is judged only by the softness and thickness of her palm. Soft palms and delicate skin indicate a good life. The prominent bones, stiff muscles and rough skin indicate that it is evil. In many places, it is still taboo for women to break their palms. They think it is difficult to break the palm, and it is doomed to kill her husband, while men think that breaking the palm is to be a big official. The other is that men are taken to the woman's house by matchmakers or elders for blind date. The date of blind date is usually proposed by the man, and the matchmaker sets the time to inform both men and women. Both sides should be prepared. The man should bring some gifts as a token of his appreciation. It would be better if he could impress other parents. As protagonists, both men and women should try their best to dress dignified and beautiful in order to win the favor of each other. While observing women, men are also being examined by her. But the men and women didn't sit together and talk for a long time. The woman just showed her face a little and hid in the back room, leaving her parents and other relatives to talk to the man. If the woman leaves the man for entertainment, it generally means that he has been approved by her parents and the woman. If a man is satisfied, he will show something. Generally, he will give the woman a small red envelope, commonly known as the "meeting gift", and even other members of the woman's family will have to take a ride.

Send a bride price to a girl's house

Winning the lottery means that the man asks the matchmaker to explain the marriage to the woman's family. This is one of the traditional etiquette procedures, and now it is called "marriage proposal" and "matchmaking". In old China, arranged marriages prevailed and young men and women had no autonomy. "Men should marry when they are older, and women should marry when they are older" is their only choice. The prevailing conditions of marriage and employment in later generations are what people often hear. In addition to family social status, there are economic conditions, family lineage, occupation and so on. , but also consider the conditions of the married parties themselves.

Although it is the first step to get married, Nacai should also bring gifts. Wild geese were used in ancient times, so this ceremony is also called "drinking wild geese". There is a certain emphasis on the use of geese: "geese wait for yin and yang, and wait for the time." South in winter, north in summer, expensive. " Wild geese are migratory birds. They fly to the south in winter and live in the north in summer. They come and go sometimes. Adopting a goose is actually equivalent to telling the woman's family that "men should marry when they are older, and women should marry when they are older", and they should choose the right opportunity like geese.

In the afternoon, Nacai's gifts are greatly enriched, sometimes as many as 50 kinds. For example, there are Yuanyang, Jiuzipu (or ink), Shuangshi, colorless silk, Changshuiling, Pudai, cotton wool, Selaginella, Jiahe, Ejiao, dry paint, fish and deer. These gifts have avant-garde praise, which refers to the symbolic meaning of these gifts. Folklore divides these symbolic gifts into four categories:

(1) means good luck, such as replacing "auspicious" with sheep and "Lu" with deer;

(2) auspicious items that are compatible with husband and wife, such as glue paint harmony, phoenix harmony, mandarin duck harmony, etc.;

(3) It symbolizes the male-dominated relationship between husband and wife. For example, Hou Yan's Yin and Yang symbolize the obedience of his wife, Pu Wei symbolizes the obedience of a woman, and Selaginella attached to the top of the mountain symbolizes the obedience of a woman;

(4) For example, Buddhist relics are honest and modest, blessed animals are respectful and kind, and crows feed back filial piety.

Q. Name

Asking for a name is to let the matchmaker ask the woman's name and date of birth with a post, so as to go back to divination, which is equivalent to the "eight characters" of later generations. The ancient people's belief concepts such as Yin and Yang are extremely heavy, including the theory that the five elements are mutually reinforcing and mutually reinforcing, and the two are mutually reinforcing and mutually reinforcing. If you disagree with one thing, there is no hope of success in marriage. Regardless of the ancient ceremony or the later generations, mate selection is not only related to the above-mentioned fate and so on. So asking the name also includes who gave birth to the woman, whether she was born by birth or adoption, and whether she was born in the first or second house. Asking names also brings gifts, and geese are also used for ancient sacrifices. Probably, winning the prize and asking the name are all one-off, which is the case in future generations. In some places, after asking the names, both men and women exchange "grass posts", that is, they announce their own situation.

The ancients attached great importance to "birthday", which was the master who decided the marriage between men and women. It is precisely because they believe that the eight characters can judge a person's fate, so many parents quickly find a fortune teller to find birthdates after their daughter is born, so as not to get married when they grow up. Therefore, many women's birth dates are false.

Najib

There is an "underground job" between Asking Name and Najib, which is not simple, and that is marriage, which is also a part of Najib. The traditional marriage in our country is not only based on "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", but also on "the light of gods". The job after asking the name is to examine the possibility of marriage between the two parties in various ways. This series of activities is to get married, and later it is commonly known as whether the "batch of eight characters" marriage can be established is the most important thing.

There are many folk sayings about the combination and disagreement of the eight characters, such as "the green rabbit and yellow dog have existed since ancient times, the red horse and antelope live long, the black mouse and cow are both prosperous, the green cow and black pig are happy, and the dragon and chicken are longer ..." "The snake rabbit must be rich"; There are also "golden roosters are afraid of jade dogs, monkeys and pigs are not yet finished" and so on. It can be seen that the social harm of "approving eight characters" is very great. If we collect such proverbs from all over the world, we will find them full of contradictions.

Najib was engaged after that, and the positions exchanged between the two sides were similar to the marriage certificates of later generations. Since then, both men and women have been bound by social ethics, and the termination of marriage is no longer casual, but through negotiation between the two sides or mediation by outsiders. At the same time, the man should give gifts to the woman on holidays, which is called "holiday decoration" in some places, and also provide her with clothes for the four seasons. It is precisely because of this special significance of Najib that people pay special attention to its symbolic representative-the post station, which is called "Dragon and Phoenix Post Station" in many places.

Zheng Na

Levy is a necessary procedure for a man to marry a woman, that is, the bride price, dowry and bride price of later generations. In the north, it is called "big gift", also called "full employment" and "big employment". When the man goes to the woman's house to send a bride price, he must choose an auspicious day. The matchmaker, the man's parents and relatives (mainly the man menstruation) take the bride price to blind date. The bride price includes two golden flowers (hairpin), a pair of gold rings (gold bracelet), a pair of gold rings (one gold and one copper), dolphin meat, wedding banquet, sheep, cake, red silk 2 feet 4 inches, black silk 7 feet, four pairs of candles, firecrackers, two incense sticks and two pairs of earrings. After the engagement, the bride price is displayed on the big lunch box carried by the two people, and then the drummer goes ahead in order, and the matchmaker postpones, blows and blows along the street and sends it to the woman's house.

The bride who received the bride price took out a part and returned it to the man as a gift together with twelve kinds of gifts. Then the woman's family offered tea to the man's family, and finally the man's family accepted the banquet of the woman's family. Those who accept this sumptuous banquet will give each table a silver gift as a thank you.

At this time, both men and women should entertain relatives and friends, which shows that the two families in Qin Jin have formed a good relationship.

Ding Meng

The ceremony of setting an alliance is also called Wen Ding and Xiao Hire, which is now the wedding ceremony. On auspicious days, the man's family will prepare to send the bride price to the woman's family. Bridal gifts include: red silk (pinned or engraved with gold characters on red silk), golden flowers, gold rings, gold earrings, sheep, pigs, ceremonial candles, incense, salute, cakes, flowerpots (meaning to bring good luck to your son), pomegranate flowers (meaning to have more children and more happiness) and so on. The matchmaker is accompanied by male parents or their relatives. The bride's family accepts most of the bride price, and prepares 12 gifts as a return gift, while the gift cake is distributed to relatives and friends as an engagement notice. This is called "cake sharing". Donated relatives and friends must give wedding gifts in the future.

Select a date or time

In traditional ideas, the date of marriage is very important and must be treated with caution to avoid misfortune. In people's eyes, choosing an auspicious day to get married will make the couple happy and lucky all their lives. Therefore, choosing which day to get married has always been the most concerned issue for everyone.

In the past, choosing a wedding date was very complicated. It is necessary to ask fortune tellers to calculate the date of birth of the auspicious day of the ecliptic, regardless of sex, and draw up a wedding date without any offence or punishment. In addition, some taboo wedding dates also affect some people. The year without spring, also known as widowed year and blind year, the word "widowed" will remind people of "widow", which is obviously unlucky. So, will it be a great success to have two beginning of spring Days in a year? Not exactly. In some places, the expression of "double happiness in spring" means holding a happy event in the year of double spring, and "double happiness in spring" means that there are thirteen months in the lunar calendar in a year. Because "leap" means "moisten things quietly" and "harvest", which symbolizes the love and harmony between husband and wife. If there is a double spring and a leap month, it is natural to add joy.

In a word, no matter what kind of statement or concern, in the final analysis, it reflects people's good wishes of seeking good fortune and avoiding evil and trying their best to avoid the unknown. After the wedding date is determined, both parents can send out invitations to invite relatives and friends to attend the wedding. Relatives and friends receive invitations. Generally speaking, even if they can't go, they should give gifts.