Laian marriage custom

Marriage During the Republic of China, most marriages in this county inherited the feudal marriage system, and men and women got married at the behest of their parents and the words of matchmakers, resulting in countless marriage tragedies. The old marriage procedure is as follows:

Engagement: When both men and women grow up, parents make decisions and the central matchmaker agrees. If both parents agree or reach a tacit understanding, they can get engaged initially. There are also people who are married or engaged in small marriages.

Next home gift: commonly known as "taking eight characters" or "combining eight characters", that is, writing down the date of birth of men and women on grass paper or red paper and sending them to each other. In-house businessmen wrote the words "Su Cai Guo's Fu, Ji Zi Peng Nian" (Su Dongpo is a scholar, Guo Ziyi is blessed, Ji Zi has many children, and Peng Zu lives long), and after divination by fortune tellers, they decided to "make a gift". Generally give the woman four pairs of cloth and other "tea". The number of gifts depends on the family's financial situation. There are many rich people and few poor people. In the mountainous area in the north of the county seat, the man must bring a rooster as a gift.

Ultimatum: that is, to set the date of marriage for both parties. The cursive paper characters of both men and women have been changed to red paper characters. The ultimatum came, and the man still had to deliver cloth and cakes. The rich man prepared "three sacrifices" of hoof meat, ritual strips (ribs) and roosters, and sent them to each other with drums and music. The woman heard firecrackers. If there is any objection, the woman can postpone the wedding date or take the opportunity to ask for money until the matchmaker makes peace. According to the old custom of this county, the wedding date is usually set as "double date", which is usually chosen on Saturday (meaning good luck, good luck and long life) and Tuesday (meaning pairs) of the lunar calendar.

Marriage: During the wedding, both parties treat and receive gifts. Especially when children from rich families get married, especially at weddings, guests come one after another. The wedding day is called "formal period", the day before yesterday is "greenhouse" and the day after tomorrow is "back door".

On the "greenhouse" day, the man must "send tea" (1 teapot and 10 cups, meaning "perfection"), and the woman must "return tea" in equal quantities. On the "right time", the man issued a sedan chair, colorful sedan chair, accompanied by two husbands with children and grandchildren. The road is full of drums and music. When I got to the woman's house, I had a banquet. In the evening, the bride dressed in red (red dress, red trousers and red hijab) takes a sedan chair to the man's house. When the sedan chair arrived, Sheng played three drums and three music, and the door of the man's house was closed, which was called "boring". After the bride and groom meet, they will enter the new house and "sit on the edge of the bed" (men drink sugar water and women only touch their lips). When "paying homage to the church", first worship heaven and earth, then worship Gaotang (parents), then worship husband and wife, and then "build a new house". On the day of returning home, the husband and wife walked together with gifts and returned to the woman's house.

Besides, there are other marriage customs in this county. In the south, when the old people die, they will marry their grandchildren back. It's called "weddings, funerals and happy events", commonly known as "a net bag". In some poor areas, poor children can't get married, so they talk about good conditions and exchange their sisters for their daughters-in-law. This is called "changing relatives". Three other families even changed relatives. In the old society, there was a bad custom of "grabbing the celebration" in Lai 'an: the man was ill in bed, and the woman married back in advance through the matchmaker for good luck, which was called "grabbing the celebration". After the death of the man, the woman was forced to remain widowed.

After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), the marriage law was implemented, the marriage of buying and selling was abolished, and the autonomy of marriage was stipulated. Marriage procedures have been simplified and free love has generally increased. The wedding date is also chosen in May 1 day, July 1 day, 1 October1day or New Year's Day. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, in county towns (especially in rural areas), bride price, extravagance and ostentation prevailed. Relevant departments actively promoted education and advocated frugal marriage, and some young people got married or participated in grand and frugal collective weddings.

The bad habit of "celebrating happiness" which was popular before liberation was abolished after the founding of the People's Republic of China. Marriage of "changing relatives" is rare.