Divorce, remarriage and other customs of Tujia nationality

In the rolling hills of southeastern Guizhou, there is an ancient and magical land and a unique ethnic minority, that is, Shangzhai Tujia Autonomous County in zhenyuan county, where more than 8,000 Tujia people have lived for generations. Shangzhai is a fascinating and fascinating mysterious place, which contains extremely rich and precious folk literature, art, festivals, etiquette and customs. Shangzhai is a famous "hometown of suona". On the eve of Suona Festival, I drove to collect folk literature materials. Just walked into Shangzhai that day, it happened that a newly married couple held a wedding, welcoming, playing, drumming and firecrackers, which was very lively. Strong curiosity made me understand the rich secular customs of Tujia people in Shangzhai, especially the unique and peculiar marriage customs. Tujia people follow the traditional ancient marriage customs. Unmarried young men and women can generally marry foreign youth. But most of them are married between their own surnames. Only the former brothers Li, Liu, Luo and Huang in Shangzhai Township were forbidden to get married. There are five procedures for the marriage of Tujia people in Shangzhai: First, propose marriage. After the man's parents chose the woman, they asked two matchmakers to bring gifts and an umbrella to the woman's house to act as matchmaker. When the matchmaker arrived at the woman's house, he hung his umbrella upside down outside the door. If the woman's family accepts the gift brought by the matchmaker and holds up the umbrella, it means that he agrees to hold the wedding. Otherwise it means refusing to get married. When the matchmaker went again for the second time, the woman's family took an umbrella into the bedroom to kill chickens for entertainment, indicating that the woman agreed to this marriage, and the matchmaker quickly went back to the man's house to report the good news. The second is engagement. After the proposal is completed, the man quickly prepares gifts such as wine, meat and clothes to the woman's house to discuss the eight characters, which are called "Gan Kun", that is, male "Gan" and female "Kun". Both men and women give birth time to fortune tellers, that is, to "combine the boxer" or "combine the eight characters". If both men and women are born in good years, they can get engaged and set off firecrackers, commonly known as "shooting". Choose two days for engagement and avoid one day. On the day of engagement, the man had four gifts, wine, meat, Ciba, new clothes, silver ornaments and red candles, sent to the woman's house with the matchmaker. The woman set off firecrackers to welcome her, and the neighbors watched and congratulated her. The man's gifts are distributed to the woman's family and relatives. The woman's family hosted a banquet to entertain the matchmaker, Fujian and friends. After dinner, the girl's family set off firecrackers to see the guests off. The third is to pay New Year greetings, also known as festivals. On New Year's Day, the man picked up pork legs, bazin, noodles, candy and other gifts and went to the woman's house to pay New Year's greetings. The woman's parents gave money as a gift, and the young woman gave the young man two new pairs of cloth shoes. During New Year's greetings, young women avoid seeing young men, and they do this every year before marriage until they get married. The fourth is to get married. There is a saying in Tujia: "Raising a daughter does not provide for the elderly, either filling a house or raising a small one." Before the founding of New China, men and women were engaged and married at the age of 14 or 15. After the founding of New China, this bad habit was broken. When the man proposed to get married, he used a hind leg with a pig's tail to go to the woman's house to pay New Year's greetings. If the woman wants, she will leave the pig's tail. If you don't want to cut off the pig's tail, wrap it in red paper and return it in the cloth shoes for the man until next year. Before marriage, the man should box the "dowry money" and send it to the woman's home to let her husband "see the sun another day". The husband will wrap the reception guests, gifts, tailoring and wedding dates in red paper and give them to the woman, and handle them accordingly. The woman sews the quilt cover and embroidered dowry according to the auspicious day, which is called "cutting". When getting married, girls should sing a "crying wedding song". If you don't cry, you will be laughed at. The time of crying for marriage is 7 to 10 days, and some of them are as long as half a month. You should cry bitterly, revel in it and feel the touch of the world. Such a bride is regarded as smart, capable, kind, virtuous and admired. The man's wedding ceremony is called "etiquette", and people are invited to choose various gifts to send to the woman's home under the guidance of the matchmaker. The bride put on the wedding dress given by the groom, was helped to the main hall by two bridesmaids to pay homage to her ancestors and parents, and then sat on the dowry and cried. At this time, the braid unique to the bride and girl was tied into a bun, covered with mesh, tied with red rope, inserted with silver hairpin and wrapped with silk handkerchief. When you go out, you put on red flowers, powder, wring the hair off your face and hook your eyebrows into a crescent. Really as beautiful as flowers and jade. Say goodbye to the girls in the same village. The groom sent a sedan chair for the opening ceremony, and prepared straps, protective belts, rice for pressing the sedan chair, sedan chair oil, clothes, handkerchiefs and shoes. , to kill chickens around the sedan chair and sprinkle blood to exorcise evil spirits, and to worship Bodhisattva with pig-headed chickens in the Tuwang Temple. Then, the bride-picking team carried sedan chairs, beat gongs and drums, played music and fired guns, and ran all the way to the groom's house with joy. Arriving at the groom's door, the round mother took the bride out of the sedan chair and crossed the seven-star lamp. When they arrived at the nave, the bride and groom wore red cloth and shoes, and worshipped the heavens and the earth, their ancestors, their parents and their husbands and wives. Then enter the bridal chamber, have a reunion dinner and drink a toast. The bride's brother wore sandals and rushed to the man's house for a drink the next day. The groom carried a red horse on his shoulder, and relatives and friends put flowers on their heads respectively. The bride and groom offer tea to congratulate the guests, and the guests throw tea money into the tea tray. The fifth is to return the door. There is a saying that the bride will return to China in three days, stay for three nights in nine days and stay for nine nights in January, so there is no time limit. The groom needs to bring all kinds of gifts from the bride to visit relatives and pay tribute to the elders. Go early and come back late, and you can't stay overnight. After the relationship between Tujia couples broke down, they wrote a "divorce certificate" and the amount of compensation was "3,000 men and 800 women": the man filed for divorce and compensated the woman for 3,000, and the woman compensated the man for 800. Both parties shall invite witnesses and complete the formalities. In the past, the arranged marriage of Tujia nationality in Shangzhai created great obstacles for young men and women to fall in love freely. They often use songs to express their inner dissatisfaction and resistance: "My sister went to her parents' house for 16 days. She complained about the lifelong marriage between Gaotang's old parents and her children, but she couldn't make her own decisions. "I hate matchmakers:" Matchmakers have a thin mouth and can talk. "If you live, you can die, and if you die, you can live." Nowadays, with the progress of society and the changes of the times, this arranged marriage system has gradually changed, and the long-cherished wish of young men and women to fall in love freely and have a happy family is being realized.