Joke ~ the best you have ever heard ~ just one ~ but it must be classic ~

1, Sima Qian was imprisoned many times, but he endured the pain again and again and wrote a great historical record with tenacious perseverance.

Toto: Over and over again? Grandpa Sima, have they grown taller in the spring breeze?

My father loves me like a relative.

Toto: How dare you always be picked out of the trash by your father?

3. The sun is getting closer and closer to us, like a golden cake.

Toto: This classmate ... did you come to the exam after breakfast? Poor ~ ~ ~ ~ Mo Mo

Premier Zhou's vision is the prosperity and independence of the country. In his mind, there are only four words: serve the people!

Toto: Maybe your Chinese teacher can tolerate you, but your math teacher won't forgive you!

I hope to have healthy legs and a smart brain. ...

Toto: Same as above.

6, there is a kind of inferiority called self-confidence, and there is a kind of falling called getting up.

Toto: This classmate is Socrates in the new era.

7. A neck without self-esteem cannot support a confident head.

Toto: I want to know what kind of neck is called a "neck with self-esteem"!

8. Without background, run to the front desk.

Toto: At first glance, I don't know what I'm talking about. When I think about it, it seems a little picky ... but when I think about it, I don't know what he is going to say ... just to rhyme? !

9. Why do eyes grow on both sides? Because they are used to looking forward.

Toto: Classmate, your logic is beyond my rational scope. ...

10, life is like a cup of boiled water, plain and unremarkable; But it is like a cup of boiled water with sugar, sweet; Also like a cup of boiled water with salt, salty.

Toto: Is this ... or boiled water? !

1 1, the horse is thin and the hoof is fat, and the son steals the father but not the thief; Blind uncles and aunts have lived for half their lives, and no one has seen anyone.

Toto: Classmate, are you Mr. Degang Guo's son?

12 years, Montesquieu was born into a noble family. Although he lived a comfortable life since childhood, he looked at the changing clouds in the sky and suddenly made a decision that shocked history, that is, he devoted himself to the revolutionary torrent of the bourgeoisie.

Toto: It turns out that Mr. Meng's night sky suddenly had an epiphany. ...

13, life is precious, love is more expensive; If it is a matter of life and death, both can be thrown away.

Duoduo: 8 HD! Just because petofi has passed the 50-year copyright protection period cannot be so bad. ...

14, as the saying goes: how bold people are, how productive the land is. With such land, how can people be inferior? Therefore, we should have a great prospect for the future.

Toto: I'm speechless ... what are you going to say, this classmate? !

15, entered senior three, and lived a life of "getting up earlier than chickens, sleeping later than dogs, eating worse than pigs and doing more than cows". Although eating is much better than pigs, cooking is more than cattle. At this moment, my vision is ...

Toto: Poor boy ... touched it sympathetically and said to Gao Yubao, You saw it! Zhou skinned is actually very human to you!

16, my biggest vision is to have the habit of swearing. Although I have to abide by the five stresses and four beauties, I am afraid that only sitting on the roof for three hours without repeating the same thing can I solve my grievances. Writing here, my palms are sweating, because I complain about this paper, because it determines my future and prospects. I 12 years' study career is decided by this paper less than half a meter and some ink marks. I'm not satisfied. But I don't have to divide it.

Toto: Son ... Are you ready for the exam after going abroad?

17, God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

Toto: Deep!

18, my vision is to get into a good university and find a good job, so that my son can get into a good university and find a good job in the future.

Toto: Why do I think of the paragraph in the political book where the reporter interviewed the shepherd boy? !

19, many of my classmates are willing to do their eyes in order to be admitted to military schools or police schools.

Toto: Do it? ! Shake ... why are you doing this? !

At the age of 20, Premier Zhou stood on the ten-mile long street and lamented to the sky: "But he died before he conquered, and the heroes cried on their coats from then on." His vision for the bright future of the motherland has made hundreds of millions of people cry.

Toto: Shili Long Street ...? ! Fraudulent corpse ah ah ah ah ah ah! ! !

2 1, Tagore said: The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to look for light.

Toto: Do you believe Gu Cheng will come to you with an axe in the middle of the night?

22, miluo river, xiang yu holding a sword on his neck, he shouted. ...

Dodo: He shouted, Qin, why did you leave me so early? ! !

23, drunkards know: there should be no hate, when it grows round. ...

Toto: Su Shi to Ouyang Xiu: Everyone is familiar with it, so I will sue you for plagiarism!

24. Tao Yuanming, who lived an idyllic life in Taohuayuan, wrote a famous sentence: "The shadow is shallow, and the fragrance floats on the moon." ...

Toto: OK ... I admit it ... Actually, I can't guarantee that Mr. Lin Bu is not a neighbor of Tao Yuanming.

25. When Yu Pingbo practiced the piano for Zhong Ziqi, he was looking for mountains and rivers, and the sound of the piano was his vision.

Dodo: recognized as BL crossing text!

26. Han Yu went to war with Liu Bang. One day, ...

Toto: Another section of BL has been confirmed!

Madame Curie invented fish radium, and her idea came true. ...

Toto: Madame Curie, you died unfairly ... who knew this torpedo was radioactive!

28. After being brutally castrated, Sima Qian endured humiliation and put it off again and again, because he knew that "there are three unfilial things, and nothing is great", so ...

Toto: So ... What? ! Don't find a small attack to fuck boys?

29. After suffering from castration, Sima Qian had to endure the pain of breaking his leg. ...

Toto: I beg you! It's bad enough that grandpa Sima was castrated again and again! Stop abusing him!

After the 30-year-old Sima Qian was executed for corruption, regardless of the decay of his body, he wrote the "Historical Records", the eternal swan song. ...

Toto: What a shame! I'm completely speechless ...

3 1, seeing Sima Qian's great achievements and overall situation after being imprisoned, I can't help but sigh: 360 lines, each line is the champion.

Toto: Fuck, yes! And eunuchs can also be the number one scholar in this line!

32. Sima Qian, a generation of men, voluntarily accepted castration because he was far-sighted-that is, Datang did not have a history book of his own, so he endured humiliation and completed historical records for Datang.

Toto: Turn the table! Who did Sima Qian recruit and provoke? I can't believe you won't let him out of this mess! He also tossed him from the Han Dynasty to the Tang Dynasty.