Classic lovers joke hurts the stomach.

Classic couple jokes will make you sick.

Lead: Humor is the performance of excess intelligence, and jokes are its perfect performance. Below, I will sort out the classic couple jokes for you. Laughter will hurt your stomach. I hope it helps you. Welcome to read!

Classic couple jokes will make you sick.

1、? Dear husband, you can come back, I miss you so much! ?

? Honey, I miss you too! Hug. ?

? Huh? Why are there teeth marks?

? Oh, by the way, honey, because I want to see you soon, I'm tired from driving. Bite yourself to refresh yourself when you are sleepy. ?

? You can fucking bite your neck?

On my birthday yesterday, my wife bought me a watch that I have been longing for for for a long time.

Today's birthday is over, and now my wife will return it!

3. One day my husband asked me: If there were only me and online games in the world, who would you choose?

? Of course it's you. ? I laughed without hesitation.

? Honey, that's very kind of you! ?

Hehe, of course I won't tell her that online games need a lot of people to play together!

Wife: Honey, can I ask you something?

Husband: What's the matter?

Wife: Can you buy me a bag when I get paid?

Husband: You are not only beautiful, but also beautiful.

5, wife: the bowls are washed, why not wash the dishes!

Me: You told me to do the dishes!

Wife: I asked you to kiss, and you only kissed? ! ! !

6、? Honey, do you think there is a man in this world who looks for a woman in a bar not to fuck her, but just to chat?

? There must be! ?

Looking at his wife's approving eyes, the husband went on to say:? There are thousands of men in Qian Qian, and there are always a few unruly guys who are so horrible! ?

7. Me: Looking at the family photos, I think they are so beautiful and have good skin. I really envy them. . .

As a result, the second husband came to a sentence: If you want to change your mobile phone, just say so!

8. In the middle of the night, my wife went to the toilet quietly, but I still woke up. Then I plan to let her pretend not to wake up and say a dream: wife, I love you! ! !

Then, my wife froze, and I smiled unwillingly. . .

9. My wife and I quarreled and said: There are thousands of women in Qian Qian, and I have money to change every day!

The wife actually said: men in the world are looking for it casually, and I have no money to do it for free.

10, wife:? Honey, I have a good idea to prevent you from cheating. ?

Husband:? What method?

Wife:? Don't wear underwear when you go out! ?

Husband:? Ah, what should I wear?

Wife:? Our son's diaper is not wet. Let's see if you have the courage to take it off. ?

Husband:? Oh, my God! ?

1 1, sleeping soundly, my wife slapped me and I glared. My wife said: Anger is a sign of incompetence.

I thought about it, took a few deep breaths and smiled brightly.

My wife slapped me again and said, I am more incompetent than incompetent when I am angry.

12, daughter-in-law is unhappy these days. Therefore, I am careful in everything, so as not to make holy anger.

However, when I was sitting on the sofa watching TV after dinner, I was kicked for no reason. Reason: My big fat pressed her invisible wings. . .

13, I: Wife, can you give me more pocket money? Give me 100 yuan a month to drive away beggars!

Wife: Then I'll give it to you later!

Me: Really? Great!

Wife: Once every 30 days!

14, I: Wife, I checked with the master today. I was robbed at the age of 60!

Wife: Don't tell me where the fortune-telling money came from. I'll let you rob now!

Me. . .

15, a colleague just got married. Recently, he always complains that his wife is unreasonable.

A master couldn't bear to say: Reasoning with women really worried your IQ. . .

16, my wife asked me a difficult question this morning: What gift are you going to give me for my birthday?

17, Dalin came back from a business trip, and his wife pestered him to make out at night, saying that he wanted to make up? Homework? !

Probably tired, Dalin quickly surrendered.

The wife complained discontentedly:? Homework? It didn't finish well. Did you hand it in outside? homework

Dalin said with a wry smile: extracurricular reading? It is possible, but? Homework? Absolutely not! Even? Self-study no! ? Jiange

18, Wife: Honey, why don't you take a shower?

Husband: Didn't you wash it last night? Why wash it?

Wife: It's easy to do things after washing at night.

Husband: Didn't you do it twice last night? What should I do?

Wife: You did it last night, and I'll do it tonight! @ obscene obscene

19, Xiao Li and his wife were arguing about a trivial matter, and Lao Wang happened to bump into them, so he went over and pulled Xiao Li aside to persuade them that there would inevitably be quarrels between husband and wife. If you are a man, you should make her treat her better. . .

Xiao Li said angrily, you live next door, dare I treat her badly?

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