Wedding customs in Anhui, candy, cigarettes, towels are put in the gift package. What does the towel mean?

The marriage customs of urban and rural people in Anhui province, according to the characteristics of regional and ethnic mixed residence, have their own personalities and similarities. For example, the marriage customs of the Hui nationality have a strong national flavor, and the marriage customs of the She nationality play an important media role.

First, the traditional marriage customs.

[parents' orders]

Regardless of aristocratic families or ordinary people, children's marriage events are basically decided by both parents. Some of these feudal arranged marriages are "referring to the belly for marriage", that is, the children of both parties arranged marriages for them before they were born. Some children are engaged when they are children, such as early marriage and child bride. When their children grow up, their parents will arrange their marriage. "Finger belly is marriage", if both parties have boys, they will become brothers; Both sides are women, that is, sisters.

After 1930s, under the influence of democratic thoughts, traditional marriage customs have changed. For example, after parents choose a marriage partner for their children, they should seek the children's opinions appropriately, but in the end, the parents have the final say, especially the father. Because of the lack of understanding and love between men and women before marriage, they can get to know each other gradually only in the long-term family life after marriage, and some have established marriage friendship; However, many families have fallen into the abyss of misfortune, causing many tragedies.

[Suitable for each other]

When parents choose a marriage for their children, they should generally know each other's portals and suit each other. The portal is the social status, economic strength and cultural quality of the family (such as the scholarly brothers); There is also a hard-working, frugal and clean family style. Ordinary people do not climb the "high threshold" when talking about marriage, and have their own portal standards: "high door to high door, door to door"; "Poverty and poverty are good, and wealth and wealth intersect". Public officials also want each other's children to climb relatives with each other. Because of the difference between cities and rural areas, people living in cities eat commodity grain, which makes it easier to find jobs, so urban families marry each other. This is the restriction of political and economic conditions on marriage.

Marriage under different surnames is a common custom all over the country. In some places, you can get married in addition to the same surname and five clothes. Some areas (such as Huoshan, etc. ), Shu, Shen, He, Han, Liu and Zhao, two different surnames, are not married. It may be caused by feudal family conflicts and traditional customs.

[marriageable age]

"Men should be married and women should be married". The specific age of marriage varies from place to place. Before the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), early marriage was emphasized. In the Stone Age (now Shitai) in southern Anhui, there was a saying of "Twelve Fathers and Fourteen Mothers". As the saying goes in Zhonghe County, Anhui Province, "Sixteen parents are male and fifteen parents are female". Generally speaking, when men and women reach the age of fifteen or sixteen, they are considered to be of marriageable age, and men and women can get married. The general requirement is that men are bigger than women. For example, in Wuhe and other places, as the saying goes, "a woman is five years old, like an old mother." In rural areas such as Huaibei and western Anhui, "waiting for a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" is popular. Before her son was born, the girl was kept at home "waiting for her husband". This is not only a good sign, but also a little girl can bring up a "little husband", resulting in a great age gap between men and women, disharmony in thoughts and feelings, and many family breakups.

[proposing marriage through an intermediary]

Both men and women are of marriageable age, and parents think that the right family is right. The man can entrust a matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman, and some women propose marriage to the man's family. The matchmaker should be a "lucky" person, and the requirement is an even number of two to four people, that is, the so-called "four media celebrities", including the main media and accompanying media. When the matchmaker proposes marriage, it mainly introduces the situation of both sides, and there are many exaggerations when talking about men or women. As the saying goes, "the matchmaker doesn't lie, and he has nothing to say when he sits down." He also said that "the matchmaker can deceive both sides", "ten matchmakers tell nine lies" and "the matchmaker" has a mouth that can brag and coax "and so on. These scams often victimize many young men and women. Proposing marriage through the media is called "initial media" or "initial red".

[Figure 8]

After proposing marriage, parents will write the birthdays, dates, dates and zodiac signs of both men and women on cursive paper, and the matchmaker will give them to each other, and then the fortune teller will calculate whether the marriage is "rushing", such as the so-called "fire"; "A chicken is not worthy of a monkey" and "When a chicken sees a monkey, it worries every night"; It is unlucky to say that "the dragon is not worthy of the tiger" and "the dragon and the tiger fight against each other" and that "the ram is busy, the ewe is guarding the house" and "the mouse and the horse are fighting against each other". If you do it, you can't get married even if you want to. This is a charlatan who uses the theory of five elements to judge the marital affairs of men and women. This is extremely unfavorable to women. If the woman is a tiger, she will be ordered to "kill her husband" and "kill her in-laws". Being regarded as "eight characters" is not good, which sets a serious obstacle in marriage. Therefore, the woman's family often bribed charlatans to change their birth dates, turning "mutual confrontation" into "mutual prosperity". Because there is a saying that "ten women and nine are not true". After the "eight characters" are combined, the marriage between men and women can be initially decided. In Jixi, southern Anhui, after the eight characters, the couple wrote in red paper, which is called "the little red book". Both sides gave each other a copy and put it in front of their own kitchen god. After three or five days, if the family is safe, it is considered that this marriage has been "acquiesced" by the "family god".

[blind date]

After the "eight characters" were combined, the matchmaker agreed with the woman's parents that the matchmaker would accompany the man seeking relatives to the woman's home one day to meet her parents' elders, so that the woman's parents could personally see the man's appearance, manner, knowledge and family situation. Both men and women can also take the opportunity to steal glances and not speak directly.

[Xiangjia]

The matchmaker took the woman to the man's house to meet his parents. The "blind date" is inquired by the woman's father, and the "blind date" is played by the man's mother. The man's mother invited the woman to ask in the back room and carefully observed her clothes, shoes and decorations to measure her needlework and character. The woman takes this opportunity to inspect the house and furnishings of the man's house, especially the furniture and equipment in the new house, which is directly related to the future life of both men and women. In western Anhui, the woman went to the man's house, and the man's parents were very satisfied, so they changed the tea into sugar water, added some meat dishes, entertained dinner, and gave gifts when they left. If the woman drinks sugar water, eats wine and rice, and collects money and goods, it means that the woman has completely agreed.

[Guo Geng]

Also known as Chuan Geng, Chuan Tie and Jue. After a man and a woman agree to get married, they have to go through the engagement formalities. The so-called "Geng Tie", also known as "red and green slips", "mandarin duck book", "approval letter" and "small book", is a wedding invitation that contains the names, birthdays and parents of both men and women. The earliest Geng posts should write the names of three generations of ancestors. The format of the invitation: a red envelope for external use, with a single red card and a full red button. The front cover and back cover are printed with golden dragon and phoenix patterns. The man wrote the word "Gongqiu" in the middle of the single post, and the next paragraph wrote "My in-laws brother ××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× The man called it "dried jujube" and the woman called it "Kunzao". So men are also called "Ben" and women are also called "Ben". In the middle of the envelope, you should also write auspicious sentences such as "Qin Jin's hundred-year-old red leaves grow old together" and "a natural couple". The two sides will agree on an auspicious day after Geng Festival. In the morning, the man will fill out the "acceptance letter" and put it in Geng mailbox to receive the bride price, so that the matchmaker can send it to the woman's home. The woman received a grand reception; After filling in the "Admission Notice", put it in the Geng iron box together with the "Admission Notice", light incense on the incense table in the main room of Chen Fang and set off firecrackers. The woman's father bowed to Zu Lingxing first, and then bowed to the matchmaker to express his gratitude. Then ask the matchmaker to sit down. After the banquet, the matchmaker returned to the man's house with the Geng iron box, and the woman returned the gift. The man also gave a big banquet to thank the matchmaker. When worshipping ancestors, the man himself should follow his father to salute his ancestors and give a big gift to the matchmaker. After the completion of Guo Geng, the marriage between the two sides was officially settled.

[bride price]

Also known as "Li" and "Hire", it was called "Shou" in ancient times. The betrothal gift should be given to men and women after their engagement, and the bride price should be given to the woman on an auspicious day. This is an important etiquette in traditional marriage customs, and the success or failure of marriage often depends on it. In southwest Anhui, through the prior matchmaker, the family of both men and women negotiated and bargained. With the consent of the woman, the man's family will issue a list of gifts, indicating the variety and quantity of gifts, and entrust the matchmaker to send them to the woman's family, or attach them to the wedding ceremony when giving gifts. The bride price of the man is directly related to the dowry of the woman. As the saying goes in western Anhui: "A superior family loses money to marry a woman; Middle-class families marry women; Inferior people make money and marry women. " This shows that the ratio of bride price to dowry is determined by the family economic situation. In some places, the two sides exchange gifts and cash gifts after agreeing on the time and place. In most areas, bride price is given first, which is divided into dry gift and non-dry gift. Dry gifts are bride price silver and bride's clothes, while non-dry gifts are pork, chicken, fish, cakes, sugar and other foods. The amount of bride price silver is very particular everywhere: South Anhui 108 yuan; 66 yuan, Fengtai District, Huaibei, is called "66" Dashun; In western Anhui, 24 yuan is a "ceremony", generally not less than two "ceremonies", but also as many as eight "ceremonies". This is all calculated in silver dollars. The bride's clothes include one or several sets of singles, clips, cotton-padded clothes, and a set of purple clothes called "Wu Zi Yi" to be sent to Lu 'an area, which is what the bride must wear when she gets married. Jewelry includes bracelets, earrings, rings, etc. Gold is a first-rate gift, followed by gold or silver. Non-dry ceremony usually requires a knife of pork, a thousand pieces of pork and an even number of chicken and fish cakes. There will also be a male goose called "plastic goose" in Lu 'an area, and a female goose will be sent back to the government. This pair of geese can never be slaughtered, which means wishing husband and wife a long life together. Hefei will also send several kilograms of tea. It is said that tea is bitter, and marrying a woman is bitter. Congratulations to the newlyweds. The area around Qimen, Huizhou is called "carrying baskets", and each carrying basket contains "four packages of gifts" (cakes such as pork, noodles, fish and eggs). According to the number of the woman's relatives, several carrying baskets are given to her parents and main relatives respectively. When the bride holds a wedding, the receiver will give the bride clothes. As the saying goes, "Eat the cake and grow a neck". When the man gives a gift, he should give the woman several sets of clothes.

Attach a greeting card (or greeting card) when recruiting. The greeting card is wrapped in red paper and covered with red notes. Generally, there are ten greeting cards, which are called "All Cambodia" and have a fixed format. If it is for the woman's father, the book says "Mr. XXX is an in-laws", and the book says "My brother-in-law nodded and obeyed", and a list of gifts is attached, indicating the variety and quantity.

After the bride price is ready, put it in a suitcase (a concave suitcase for gifts) and a laundry list, on which are placed auspicious things such as cypress branches, red dates, longan and peanuts. The word "hi" written on red paper should be posted on the outside of the suitcase and laundry list, and the matchmaker and porter should be invited to deliver it to the woman's house, which should be greeted with firecrackers and wrapped in red paper. If the daughter lives in a big village, the bride's clothes and accessories will be displayed to the guests and neighbors in the hall.

After being hired, anyone who is not married in those years will send three gifts to her husband's family every year, that is, four-color gifts for her parents during the Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Spring Festival.

[Select the date of marriage]

Also known as "choosing a day", "choosing an auspicious day" and "reporting a day", it is also called "writing a book". By mutual agreement, the "fortune teller" is invited to choose the wedding date. Traditional weddings attach great importance to the choice of "auspicious day"; The so-called "auspicious day of the ecliptic" is based on the theory of the stars' destiny, which divides the days into twelve types: construction, fullness, peace, harvest (the day of the underworld), removal, danger, determination, persistence (the day of the ecliptic), success, opening (the day of the underworld), combination and breaking, and daily cycle. Among them, "Zodiac Day" is "auspicious day", and the legend is "auspicious god", that is, Qinglong, Tang Ming, Jingui, Tiande, Yutang and Siming are on duty, and everything is fine. Mafia Day is a so-called "evil day", which is not suitable for happy events. In Huaibei area, the legendary wedding and birth date of Dayu is regarded as a festive day, that is, March, April, June and July. This is because there are frequent floods in Huaibei, and people miss the trace of Dayu, the ancient hero of water control, and regard the legendary day when Dayu got married and had children as an auspicious day. In the area around Lu 'an in western Anhui, it is customary to use "two" (in pairs) and "six" (high officials and generous officials, "Lu" and "Liu Liu Dashun") to handle happy events, and avoid using "four" (homophonic "things" for fear of accidents), "seven", "eight" and "nine" (as the saying goes, seven can't come out, eight " ), these are not considered auspicious days. When choosing a wedding date in Hefei, you should ask the fortune teller to count the dates of birth of the couple and their parents together, which is called "choosing a date in Zhoutang". Generally, if you can't find a lucky day, just choose two months and two days, but the 30 th "doomsday" can't be used. In addition, the dates chosen in various places are two days, one in the first half and the other in the second half, for the mother to choose, in order to avoid the bride's menstrual period and choose an auspicious day. Although it contains many superstitious impurities, it reflects the psychology of the public and the beautiful wishes of newlyweds to grow old together. After the wedding date is fixed, write it in red paper, and the man prepares four-color gifts for the matchmaker to send to the woman's house. Both sides are busy preparing for the wedding.