Happy couple interesting little sentences

Happy couple interesting little sentences

The following are funny sentences between lovers. Ladies and gentlemen, let's take a look at the following. Let's read it together!

Happy couple funny sentences 1 1, Porsche cattle speed is 0.8, minutes, and traffic jams are less 168. If a good car does not accelerate, it will slowly collapse; It's as comfortable to drive slowly in a broken car. We walk the dog in the middle of the night and you walk the car in the middle of the night.

2. The baby asked curiously: Mom, are people really monkeys? Mom: Yes, dear. Baby: Oh, I see. No wonder there are fewer and fewer monkeys and more and more people now.

Hearing this conversation, the passengers finally got off in grief! Master A: Brother, what's the road like there? There's a traffic jam here! Master B: Brother, to tell you the truth, there has been a traffic jam here for a long time!

The quality of food in a school canteen is very poor. One day, after lunch, several students threw the meal into the kitchen. The headmaster took people to investigate and saw several holes in the wooden door. He asked the chef: What was it hit with? The chef whispered: Use steamed bread!

One day, a foreign tourist asked a local child who was six or seven years old: Who are the great people born here? The child scratches his scalp: we are all babies born here, not big shots!

6. "A girl bought two apples and the thief took one. The girl cried and said, "Look at my tears and you won't look back. "When the police saw her, they said," I will find you, north or south. The thief said, "the acceleration of silence is mine." " ""

7. Euphemism of weight: Sincerity: You are the most important person in our family. Appreciation: You are really a person who fits the "circle". This damn washing machine has shrunk your clothes again

8. Grandma is staring at her granddaughter Xiaoli: "You are out of your mind and running around in a short coat with your navel exposed." Xiao Li casually said, "It's my third time to see the world, sober!" "

9. The general asked the battalion commander who accompanied the inspection: "Why are all tall and handsome sitting in the front row and short people sitting in the back row?" "Report to the general!" The battalion commander replied, "I was born to sell fruit!" " "

10, A: Why don't you work in the factory? Too stingy. Last time the gunpowder exploded, I was blown up in the air and fell down. The factory director also deducted my salary and said that I would not work in the air for 6 seconds!

1 1, saying that the fashion of losing weight is to starve a hungry woman; To say that off-the-shoulder fashion is to cool women down; Let the eyelids turn over to hurt women; Let a woman be a lover, just to tease her.

12, A: Last week, a grain of sand fell into my wife's eye, and I had to see a doctor, which cost me 30 yuan. B: What's the matter? A fur coat fell into my wife's eyes the other day and cost me 3,000 yuan.

13, a beggar went to his married home to beg. When he left, he asked where the other one was. The guest said it was far away, but the beggar said it didn't matter. We have a motorcycle. If I can't find it, I will call you. Everyone fainted.

14. A ewe and a lamb are eating grass. An old wolf came and took the ewe away, and the lamb obediently followed. What happened? Answer: This is a pregnant ewe with a lamb in her belly.

15, girls say "Let's break up" to boys. Boy: "Why?" Girl: "The exam week is over, so the library seats are useless." . Boy: "But I have two soft berth tickets." Girl: "Shit, I didn't tell you earlier, I was just joking with you."

16, a woman said to her neighbor, "I'm really not worried about my husband. He has thrown away the cat and is going to throw it into the deepest part of the lake. The neighbor asked, "What's there to worry about? She replied, the cat has been home for an hour.

17. One day Xiaohei played the piano for watermelon. Black asked watermelon: How do I play? Watermelon said: I suggest you go to the TV station to play. Xiaohe asked happily: Is it so good? Watermelon said: then I can turn off the TV!

18, Jimmy parachuted at night. In order to avoid colliding with people, he hung colorful lights on his body. When he got ashore, he saw a woman shivering there and asked, "What is this place?" The woman replied, "The earth."

19, a couple quarreled in the street, and the girl slapped her boyfriend. The man shouted, slap me again if you dare! His girlfriend slapped him again without hesitation. The man paused and said, since you are so obedient, I will spare you.

The student sent a telegram to his parents, which read: "Mom, I failed all my lessons and was expelled from school. Let dad get ready. " Two days later, I received a reply: "Dad is ready, prepare yourself.

2 1, a buddy sings like a thief. One day, this guy entertained himself in a KTV box. Suddenly, the waiter knocked at the door: excuse me, sir, is the stereo broken?

22. I bought a bottle of Master Kong green tea. When I drank it, I found it was a fake Kangshuibo green tea. When I looked at the bottle cap, I found that I had won the lottery. I: Have another bottle if you win the lottery. The boss said quietly, look carefully. Let me see the bottle cap and buy another bottle. ......

23. The woman came to a computer matchmaking agency and entered the conditions for choosing a spouse into the computer: she should not be too tall, likes to wear dresses on weekdays and likes sports on ice. After a series of choices, the computer shows an answer: penguin.

24, hey! I must remind you in a friendly way that today is the legendary Super Invincible Black Friday. Be sure to carry a big tomato when you go out, otherwise everything you wear will become open-backed pants!

25. The car hit a pedestrian, and the owner got off to check it out. Pedestrians close their eyes and ask, is your father Li Gang? Owner: No pedestrians: Have you ever practiced the piano? Owner: No, the pedestrian opened his eyes and said simply, you are hurting me!

26, a couple, the man 1.6 meters, while the woman is as high as 1.8 meters. People ask women: how can you fall in love with a man shorter than you? The woman smiled and said, we are sitting in love. By the time I stood up, it was already late.

27. The gangster robbed the bank and said to the clerk: Hand over the money, or you will become a geography! The cashier still has to laugh in a panic: wrong? It should be that you will become history. The gangster said shyly, when I was studying, I was most afraid of history. Couples have funny dialogues.

28. W: Do you like children? M: Mm-hmm. W: If you marry me, we will have two children. Really? Woman: The eldest is a daughter and the second is a son. How did you know? Woman: They are in my house now.

29. The salesman knocked on the door, and a little boy with a cigarette and half a bottle of beer opened the door. The salesman asked the boy, excuse me, are your parents at home? The boy answered simply, don't you think?

30. Customer service records of game companies. Customer: Why can't your company play games? Customer service: If there is any quality problem with the CD, you can go to the dealer to change it. Customer: Forget it, it's only five yuan anyway! Customer service.

3 1, a sign was put up on the park lawn, which read: No trampling on the lawn, and offenders will be fined one yuan! A frequent visitor asked the staff in the park: Why is the fine reduced? Didn't it cost five dollars before? Staff: No one stepped on five dollars!

32. A man accidentally killed an old lady's cat while riding a bicycle. The man said apologetically, "Old man, I am willing to make it up to you!" " ! The old lady said: Very well, let's go to my house to catch mice!

33. The wife nagged at her husband: You swore not to drink yesterday. Why did you drink again today? You don't keep your word, liar! The husband was nagged and said, "You are getting fatter every day!" " ! Who is a liar?

34. Whether we watch a romantic drama or a youth idol drama, in the end, the hero and heroine get married, and the TV or movie is over. What does this mean? This profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, there is no future!

35. Both of them have to cross a deep and urgent river, but there is only one canoe. A canoe can only carry one person at a time. How can we get there without boatmen, swimming and bridges? Answer: They are on both sides of the river.

An employee of the insurance company is teaching his wife to drive. When the car went downhill, the brakes suddenly failed. Oh, my God, the car can't stop. His wife shouted, what should I do? He instructed his wife to find something cheap to bump into after praying.

37. When a newly married couple came back from their honeymoon trip, a friend asked Mr. Wang: Are you going to be happy soon? Mr. A: Hey, I'm so glad. The friend asked his wife again: Are you going to be happy soon? The wife replied: Well, happiness is happiness, just a little faster.

38. The judge questioned a habitual thief: "How many times have you been detained?" "Ten times." "Ten times? If you don't change your education, you will be sentenced to the longest sentence. " The habitual thief said, "According to the rules in the store, old customers have a discount."

39. A man helped his wife buy insurance from an insurance company. After signing, the man asked the salesman, "If my wife dies tonight, how much can I get?" The salesman replied, "About twenty years in prison!" "

40. The postman was very unhappy because he had to row a boat to send a birthday card to the lighthouse keeper. "If you mumble again," said the tower keeper, "I will subscribe to the daily newspaper." Super funny sentence hilarious: a joke about the dialogue between men and women.

Happy couple funny sentence 2 1, the husband asked his wife: I am not very good-looking, but why do you often call me cool? Wife: I said you are cool. I used abbreviations. You look so cruel that you should be pulled out and shot.

2. A man is afraid of his wife. One day, his wife quarreled with him in front of the guests and slapped him in the face. To save face, the man boldly shouted, "Don't you dare hit me again!" " "The wife did not hesitate to play again. The man can't scare his wife, so he has to say, "Since you are so obedient, I will spare you once. "

3. A man went to the hospital to hang a drip, and the nurse quickly inserted a drip into the man. 1 more hours passed, and the infusion bottle was finished. When the nurse came, she immediately changed another bottle. The man was puzzled and asked the nurse, "Miss, isn't there only one bottle on the prescription list?" The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap behind the salt water and said, "Sir, you are so lucky. This bottle won the lottery. Have another bottle! " "

In Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the Great Wall. Xiaoming replied, "The Great Wall is very long." The teacher was unhappy: "No, create another one!" " Xiao Ming was even more unhappy and twisted his head: "Why, I'm not Qin Shihuang! "

One day, I suddenly found out that I have a big aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt and a fifth aunt, but no third aunt. So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt? I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young? My dad said angrily, your third aunt is your mother! !

6. The old couple watched TV and suddenly broadcast the beauty contest live. When the old man saw it, he blushed and turned into the house. The old lady smiled: the old man is quite feudal. After a while, the old man came back and sat up straight with a pair of reading glasses on his face. ...

7. The boss of China Mobile goes to the public toilet. Doorman: Three cents in and two cents out. The boss is stupefied: Do you still charge for coming out? Grandpa: Two-way charge. When the boss came out, he was stopped again: you paid 1 yuan for the number selection in pit 8, fart, paid 1 yuan for roaming, and paid 1 yuan for overtime in more than three minutes. There is background music in the toilet, and the bell is 20 cents. It is still cost-effective for regular customers to book a set meal. The boss is angry: where is Wang Fa? Grandpa: M-Zone, I'm in charge of my site!

8. When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is You Yongzhi, and I'm from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The girl shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I … my name is Xia Kuyaku … I like swimming …" The whole class fainted!

9. One day, a group of friends and I went to a small restaurant for dinner. When ordering food, a buddy (bachelor) saw the waiter's Peugeot and wanted to take the opportunity to talk more. Brother: "Miss, do you have scrambled eggs?" Miss: "Yes." Brother: "Do you have scrambled duck eggs?" Miss: "There are some." Brother: "scrambled eggs with duck eggs!" " Miss: "All right, asshole." ..."

10, six predictions will come true soon 1. It is impossible to lick all the teeth with your tongue. When reading the first truth, all fools are trying by themselves. The first fact is a lie. You are laughing, because you are also a fool. You will soon tell this truth to other fools. 6. You will still have a silly smile on your face.

1 1, above the mountain road, a car approached, and at the entrance of the temple on the roadside, a young monk held high the banner of "Returning to the shore" and shouted: Look here, benefactor! A young man in the car laughed and scolded through the window: Turn away in an instant. 10 seconds later, he collapsed and fell screaming. That night, in the meditation room, the young monk said to the abbot, Master, wouldn't it be better to just write "The bridge ahead is broken"?

12, the other day I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig." So from now on, I will call you "pig"! Finally, one day, you can't bear to shout in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

13, men can't find a girlfriend, so they can only tell their fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: what about the second half? The fortune teller said: You will get used to it for the rest of your life.

14. A man asked his girlfriend what she would do if she cheated. The woman said, I will turn a blind eye. Just when that man touched his girlfriend's tolerance, her girlfriend was faint, then aimed at you and killed you!

15, one day my classmate was walking in the street, and two college students MM came up to ask for directions. They came up with a sentence "Uncle …" My classmate resolutely shook his hand into a fist and replied, "Sister-in-law, what's the matter?"

16 I found a beautiful woman in the library. After observing in the dark for many days, I got up the courage to confess to her. Suddenly, a man said that he had been observing me for several days, sweating like a pig, and said that he would be given a fair chance to compete. Competition depends on competition, who is afraid of who. He said he was gay, and he liked me instead of that girl. Shit, this fucking gay guy! Who do you like? No, you must like me! Girl, am I that much like a man?

17, son: Today, the teacher asked me who my father was. You know what, Dad? Dad: I raised you for nothing! See me every day, you can't imagine. I must ask my students and tell your teachers that I am who I am.

18, looking for a boyfriend, not asking too much, handsome and having a car, that is chess. It is the bank that has money and houses. Have a sense of responsibility and justice, that is Altman. Handsome, with a car, money and a house, and a sense of responsibility and justice, that's Altman playing chess in the bank. ...

19, when an old lady got off the bus, a thief tore off the gold chain under her neck from behind. The thief ran away immediately after he succeeded. At this time, the old lady said, alas, all the fakes have been stolen. Hearing this, the thief scolded: grass. Then I lost the gold chain. After the thief escaped, the old lady immediately picked up the gold necklace. Say: will I still wear fakes, bunny?

20, "awesome words: 1. The cashier said, there is no change. Let's find two plastic bags for you! You believe me, your IQ is low! 3. Once a little girl came to me and said, Brother, you are so handsome. I rushed up and slapped you. That's bullshit！ ! 4. What is your vital capacity? You are so boastful! It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years! "

2 1. An old man went to buy tomatoes and picked three. The stall owner weighed it and said, "A catty and a half, three dollars and seventy cents." Grandpa said, "just make a soup, you don't need so much." Then he took the biggest tomato. The stall owner quickly glanced at the scale again. "A catty is two or three." Just when I can't see the past, I want to remind my uncle to pay attention to the scale of the stall owner. My uncle calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the big tomato that had just been taken away and turned away.

22. Husband and wife quarreled. When they came home, their wives were livid. The husband went to tease the cat. The wife roared, "What are you doing with that pig?" The husband said in surprise, "This is a cat, not a pig." The wife took it again: "I'm talking to the cat." What do you want to say? "

23. Today, my girlfriend called me and said, "Come to my house, no one!" I ran away with excitement! I knocked on the door for a long time and found that there was really no one at home. ...

24. A man is drinking in a bar with a heavy heart! Waitress: "Sir? ! Are you in a bad mood? " ; Male: "I'm gay"; Waitress: "So what?" ; Man: "So is my brother!" " ; Waitress: "..."; Man: "to make matters worse, so is my brother!" " " ; Waitress: "... no one in your family likes women?" ; Man: "Yes! My sister! "

25. Listening to the radio in the dormitory that day, I heard a very young girl order a song for her mother. She said that her mother is very hard and can't rest on Sundays, so she wants to buy a lot of problem sets for her in the bookstore, so she wants to order a song for her mother. Hearing this, the master said, "What a sensible child. What song do you want to give your mother? " The little girl said in a childish voice, "I want to buy new women in Winnie, so why bother women?" .

26. Dad asked his son, "Who will you marry in the future?" The son said, "I want to marry my grandmother. She loves me! " Dad scolded: "You fart! How can you marry my mother? " The son retorted, "you can marry my mother, why can't I marry your mother!" " "

27. After doing homework for half a day, turn on the radio: "If your skin is pink and your face is soft, it means you are healthy." When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely. At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "Listeners, our pig-raising lecture is here."

28. Wife: "You just had five cups of espresso at your friend's house. Didn't you say that you would lose sleep at night after drinking coffee? " Husband: "But when I don't drink coffee for nothing, I can't sleep when I get home."

29. When I handed a lottery ticket that won 5 million to the staff of the lottery center, everyone immediately cast envious eyes! I took out the second one, still 5 million. Everyone was shocked! When I took out the third one, the air was suffocating! ..... was about to take out the fourth one when my husband woke me up and said discontentedly, "Sleeping is dishonest. I tore up the books piece by piece and laughed loudly! "

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