Feng Gong looking for a fortune teller _ Feng Gong looking for a fortune teller video

Feng Gong's Classic Funny Quotations 202 1 Inventory

Feng Gong's Classic Funny Quotations 20xx Inventory

1, you are standing there in my collar shirt, which is Yi Zhongtian; Put on my Chinese tunic suit, and I will soon become Xiaogang Feng; Wearing my leather jacket, sprint champion Bolt; Wearing my black vest, US President Barack Obama! You wear my leather jacket, movie actor Ge You; You wear my t-shirt, CCTV host Lao Bi.

2, I said Tianjin Xingang, driving a truck to pull goods to take you!

3, don't ask, the room is rented, it's time to fight for children.

They have all become butterflies, and they are still flying in Doby.

You are such a big turtle that you can't compete with me at all!

6. Why do Irish tap dance so well? It's frozen!

7. I need this clove of garlic for such a big plate of jiaozi. Stay.

8. You walked out of a women's football team!

9, I hate myself, this little tree can't stay, a bird like you.

10, I have become a buttonwood tree, and even the phoenix is coming to me. I don't believe it. I can't let you come back!

1 1, there are many fish in the sea, so why not look around. The quantity is small and the quality is not good.

12, you put on my fur robe and sit down, which is the Tibetan mastiff.

13, a harmonious society should be calm.

14, speak louder without electricity!

15, I used to talk and thought I was blind.

16, it's not too big to watch the fun here.

17, I miss you so much!

18, I finished my bachelor's degree, master's degree and doctor's degree, and you finished your doctor's degree.

19, who organized it? What are you talking about? I have no virtue. I just often take part in performances (sit down) when I am sick. It's all fake. Colonel, I didn't go home (sit down) last time my father was critically ill. That's not my real father. Colonel, I sent 200 yuan to a child who dropped out of school two days ago (sit down). This child is my nephew. Colonel, your window glass was broken two days ago. That's how I pretend (sit down). That glass is mine.

20. You underestimate me, Feng Gong. I am an artist in Feng Gong, and real art is priceless. As soon as I drop the money, I think,,, as soon as I drop the money, it depends on how much it costs, right?

2 1, what can't be done? I can't bear children, wolves, wives and hooligans.

22. Take advantage of the BB machine cow: delicious.

23, yes! I just want to be bigger than Pan Changjiang, have a haircut than Peisi Chen, share with Pavarotti, and speak Chinese with US President Bushby! Oh, kill him ~ ~

24. I am not confident. The reason why I do these things is to make people think that I am the best in dubbing, film and television, the best in acting, the most skillful in directing and the funniest in scriptwriting. You have to exert your comprehensive strength these days.

25. Nowadays, many noble daughters with blond hair and blue eyes on the other side of the ocean are crying for China's green card, and they are desperate to jump into the arms of unmarried men at CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

26. In fact, many people in life have the same mentality as me. Some psychologists do part-time divination, engage in tour guides to sell lunch boxes, and old Chinese doctors rub their feet amateur. The TV presenter has nothing to do (implying Zhu Jun), right ~ ~ ~

27. You are much more confident than that.

28. Why can't the men's soccer team even rush out of Asia? Because there are 1 1 women on the court.

29. Congratulations, friend! Ah, can I wear it? You see, it's just different Much poorer than before.

30. We should say that we drink water on our stomachs.

The funniest swear words in the world 202 1 inventory

The funniest swear word in the world is 20xx.

1, you're handsome, you're handsome, your hair is like kelp, you're wearing a sack and your waist is tied with shoelaces, and you're always naughty! Do you think you are the most handsome in the world? Actually, it's the second generation of nerves! !

2. Men are twenty Pentium, thirty Microsoft, forty Panasonic and fifty Lenovo.

3, men and dogs, men are 20 like Baha 'i dogs, sweet words are always on their lips, men are 30 like watchdog, cooking and washing are the best, men are 40 like mad dogs, and they bite at the sight of beautiful women.

4, the new three from the four virtues: the wife must go out, the wife obeys orders, and the wife must blindly follow the mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

I fell in love with you at first sight, but I don't want to talk to you. I came to see you three times and four times, and five roses were given to you. I miss you, chase you in fear, stay with you for nine days, and dump you after ten days. Someone you didn't expect

6, for you, I have surrendered unconditionally, as long as you sign a love contract, otherwise no one wants me! ! ! I'm going to halve my rights and double my obligations. ....

7. I want to be an emperor, but I am afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; I really want to beat you up, but I'm afraid of getting into trouble.

8. I thought I was evil. I didn't know until I met you. There are few people better than me.

9. Note: You have sent yellow text messages for many times in a row, and this bureau officially warns you! If it is found again, it will stop using it immediately and post the reimbursement number. Please be self-disciplined

10, you are very handsome, you are very handsome, you are the most handsome in the world, with a nest of cabbage on your head, a bag on your waist and a kelp wrapped around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.

1 1. Being single is understanding, falling in love is wrong, breaking up is awakening, getting married is wrong, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubborn, no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.

12, you are the wind, I am sand, you are toothpaste, I am a brush, you are a blackboard, I am an eraser, you are a bee, I am a flower, you are Hami, I am a melon, you don't love me, I commit suicide, I will give you the stars and the moon, as long as you say I love you!

13, don't trust roses, roses are expensive and easy to wither. If you want to believe, then believe a tear that is higher than 100 degrees Celsius: I love you! As long as you give me a cup of boiled water every day, I can pour it out for you every day.

14, Monday, discharged. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, "First Kiss". Thursday, in love. Friday, one-night stand. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye". Sunday, rotation.

15, a first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home in flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

16, is your Mandarin standard? Please read it out loud: woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. .........................................................................................................................................

17 once upon a time, there was a king who ordered a minister to find 100 transvestites and take them back to the palace. Soon, the priest came back with them. The king counted and found that there were only 99, so the king asked sharply:

18, "you idiot! There is another one? "

19, "Your Majesty, calm down, there is another one reading this message."

20. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. Chickens are mentally ill. They don't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry and hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens are secretly looking at their mobile phones.

2 1, a farmer keeps a group of pigs. One day, he found that one was missing. He asked the other pigs where they had gone. Other pigs said: that pig is reading mobile phone messages in the corner!

I am trying to write a poem, but only two people in the world know it. Now I'm laughing and a fool is watching.

23. Laugh at the sight of bones, and jump over the wall when you are in a hurry. When the stranger came, he screamed like hell. It's good for humans to have you!

24. I think of your smile when I get up, smell your smell when I wash my face, and you are my need before going to bed. I really can't leave you, dear-the toilet!

25. China mobile communication users: Recently, due to debugging the network, if your mobile phone has no signal or cannot be connected, please drop it as hard as possible, and it will return to normal after repeated times.

26. Baby, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I am a jackal chasing on the ground. I won't hit you or scold you. I torture you with my feelings.

27, people in the classroom, reading is not as good as falling in love. The teacher asked him why? For future generations

28, don't pursue me, I want to tell you: "The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves before, and the waves before die on the beach. After the waves move on, they will die on the beach. " Give it up!

29. If you were a fish, I would like to make a fishing net to catch you. If you are that mountain, I would like to be a river on the side of the mountain, and I would like to walk around you; If you are a steamed stuffed bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, and I want to soak you.

30. Meimei, I love you like a mouse loves rice. You are my bread when I am hungry, your fruit knife when I commit suicide, your heart, your liver and three quarters of my life!

3 1, Yimei in the mountains, who do you love? I want to get along with you, and no one can stop me. I turn yellow as soon as I go to bed. I'm crazy. I will do it when it is yellow. I'm so cool.

32. You are crazy and I am stupid. I'm so entangled that I have no teeth!

I can only describe your beauty as a vegetable. Face is "melon seeds". The waist is willow. Eyebrows are willow leaves, eyes are longan, mouth is cherry and hands are lotus roots.

34. The first rule of the model husband's complete manual: The wife is always right. Article 2: If the wife is wrong, please refer to Article 1.

I must make you the second happiest person in the world-because of you, I am already the happiest person!

36, don't look at me thin, I am full of muscles; Although I am black, my face is glowing.

37. The wife is valuable and the son is more expensive; If you are lovers, you can throw them both.

38. Clouds need clothes, flowers and capacity. I'm thinking your face is red.

39. I dare not say I love you. I am afraid that I will die soon. I'm not afraid of death. I am afraid that if I die, no one will love you as much as I do!

40. Handsome boy, I'm eighteen or nineteen this year, and I haven't found a girlfriend yet. People are holding hands when they go to the streets, and my left hand is holding hands!

4 1, I can take good care of myself without you! You can torture yourself slowly without me!

42. Gome, Gome, fish sink, geese fall, flowers are harvested, flowers are beautiful, and colors and arts are all good. Don't be ashamed to admit it, I know that my image in your mind must be like this!

Wife: I won't kill you or scold you to death. My plan is to kill you.

44. Miss you, miss you so much, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water every day and kiss you.

45. Hold your lover's hand and follow me gently; Holding the hand of the little secret, delicious as spirits; Holding the pheasant's hand, excited and trembling; Holding your wife's hand is like holding your right hand with your left hand.

46. If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die!

You don't have the image of a pig, but you have the temperament of a pig

48. I wish you a fortune, set foot on Marlboro, go to Hongtashan in your career, love you better than Ashima, and your financial resources are all over Greater China.

49. It's not your fault that you are ugly. You came out to scare people. Only you are your fault.

50. Hope: the leader follows you, the car lets you, the money sticks to you, the court dotes on you, the official transportation accompanies you, the school depends on you, the real estate depends on you, and the lover loves you!

5 1, a man raising a woman outside is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raise men outside, called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".

52. I've always wanted to say those three words to you, but you know their weight. I'm afraid that once I say it, we can't even be friends. But I can't control my feelings and summon up courage to say to you: get up.

53. Stock quilt cover, money stolen, honey soaked and Viagra failed-four tragedies in life.

54. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't look for it at work. The quantity is small and the quality is not good!

55. Many nights, you snuggled up to me gently, touched my delicate place with your slender hands and sucked my precious body fluids before letting go. Alas! This damn mosquito

56. Women change their mobile phones because some colleagues in the company have changed their mobile phones; men change their mobile phones because they think there is no hope of changing wives in this life.

57. Husband, husband, I love you, just like an old farmer who grows rice, waiting for you carefully. When you slowly become rice, I love you and miss you, I will start planting rice again.

58. You are a tree, I am a vine, and I am by your side; You are the lamp, I am the oil, and I consume you; You are a cake, I am a pot, and I brand you; You are tea, I am water, and I soak you.

59. Don't think you are cool. In fact, I want to vomit as soon as I see you. Don't think you are handsome, but I want to kick you!

60. Holding your hand is like holding a dog; Touching your head is like touching a monkey; Holding your waist is like holding a cat.

6 1, love you for ten thousand years, exaggerated! Love you for five thousand years, hopeless! Love you for a thousand years, ridiculous! Love you for a hundred years, too long! Love you for 70 years in succession, as long as I am healthy, it is my strength! !

62. One cup and two cups of stride, three cups and four cups of buttress, five cups and six cups of buttress. If I don't go, my sister will hug me after drinking a catty!

63. You, you, you goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but you didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

Feng Gong's classic funny quotations

1, people are not smart and bald like others. 2. Thank you for your encouragement!

I'm sorry to make you laugh.

4. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

5. Pancakes and steamed bread are eaten with rice.

6. I'm glad that many people came.

7. I have not only a car, but also my own car.

8. It's not that you don't laugh, and the powder will fall off when you laugh!

9. Half a bottle of beer. We were drunk.

10, they lost things when they went out.

1 1. If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

12. If you catch a cold and cough these two days, you will not only be charged.

I can resist anything but temptation.

14, I lit a cigarette, but I was lonely.

15, I can't serve the country and the world, whose husband am I!

16. When I have money, I will also buy the leader's clothes.

17, don't call me playboy if you can't tie my heart!

18, if you want to be famous, publish a book first, and have an accident first!

19, I am a scientist, a scientist with a way.

20. Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true.

2 1. From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

My sister-in-law married me. She was my sister-in-law at first.

23. The sincere love story between Simon and Jinlian.

24. You walked out of a women's football team!

25. I used to talk. I thought I was blind!

26. Watching the excitement here is really not too big.

27. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

28, Chopin of Niu B, can't play Lao Tzu's sadness!

29, don't ask, the room is rented, and we have to fight for children.

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

3 1, I miss you so much that I can't eat. That's disgusting!

32, cross talk pays attention to four lessons: pit. The monk turned around. Cheating!

33. I never hold grudges. Generally, if I have grievances, I will report them on the spot.

Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

35, I said to Tianjin Xingang, driving a truck to pull goods to take you!

36. Your shameless appearance bears the charm of my youth.

37. You are such a big turtle that you can't compete with me at all!

38. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

39. I like you so much that you will die if you like me?

40. Crosstalk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang upright.

4 1, help if you have difficulties, and help if you don't have difficulties.

42. I need this clove of garlic for such a big plate of jiaozi. Stay.

43. What's your name again? Don't say that. You said it was a curse.

The young man looks like an actor, burying his face.

45. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

46. Count the stars with me. If your IQ is low, count the moon!

47.do you care? Did I tell you? I can't do this with you!

48. Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.

49. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true? !

50, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't go, I will go.

5 1, I hate myself, this little tree can't stay, a bird like you.

52. Cherish your life. If God keeps you alive, you must have his plan.

53. Poke a noodle lock to open it, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

54. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

55, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock!

56. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

57. Why is Irish tap dancing so good? It's frozen! .

58. I admire myself so much that sometimes I kowtow to myself when I look in the mirror!

I didn't leave my grandfather here, but I have my own place. I won't leave you anywhere and go home to do housework.

60. If you choose 45 to look up at others, don't blame others for looking down on you at 135.

6 1, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

62. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk.

63. I finished my bachelor's degree, master's degree and doctor's degree, and you finished your doctor's degree.

Teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from the Buddha.

65. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

67. What can't I do? I can't bear to let my children associate with wolves. I can't stand my wife getting away with hooligans.

68, lobster, sea crab, haha! I like to eat shells! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

He is very traditional. He prefers reading to going out to play. There are various versions of Jin Ping Mei in the room.

70. Congratulations, friend! Ah, can I wear it? You see, it's just different Much poorer than before.

7 1, Taipin Lyrics Edition. Use nunchakus quickly. Hehe, that's it. You two died here.

72. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

73. The old man had only one tooth left, and his teeth were blocked when he ate! I ate the lotus root in my eye.

74. People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

75. Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? Pick it yourself, I will never force it.

76. Why can't the men's soccer team even rush out of Asia? Because there are 1 1 women on the court.

77. Why do I always feel unhappy? Is it because I wasn't at home when I was chasing Happyness?

Behind every successful man, there is a woman, but I failed because there are two women behind me.

79. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to eat in one place for life, but to eat in every place for life.

80. I feel bad today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I've had enough.

8 1, I'll buy 50 good cars, Alto, Alto, Alto! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

82. I became a buttonwood tree, and even the phoenix came to me. I don't believe it. I can't let you come back!

83. Tired from walking, he sits here, and the dog sits here, with one side high. Anyone who comes over will think: Whose twins are these?

84. The American goddess, with a torch in one hand and a book in the other, told us to study even if there was a power failure.

85, love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident, which comes first!

86. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not look around? The quantity is small and the quality is not good.

87. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in too many chefs for more than 20 years!

88. Mr. Fan's daughter was insulted by hooligans. I stood up with a basket and said, you scared me to death. I thought I was robbing eggs.

89, hey! This student is so rare that I, I think you are my michel platini. Come on, adoptive father, sit down, adoptive father.

90. You can never see my loneliest time, because when I can't see you, it's my loneliest time!

9 1, lovers don't necessarily have a good relationship, and a good relationship is not necessarily a couple; Crosstalk masters don't necessarily speak crosstalk, and singers don't necessarily know music.

92. Girls! Where are so many white horses? Find a donkey to make do, don't wait until one day all the donkeys are taken away, leaving a pile of mules.

93, the so-called beauty, three points of appearance and seven points of dressing up, the so-called temperament, three points of talent and seven points of pretending to be garlic, the so-called gentleness, three points of forbearance and seven points of depression.

94. Just cut some meat. From the whole thigh 1 kg. If you eat well, come back and get the meat for the old lady and watch with trembling hands. Too fat.

95. After all, I can't outrun that BMW. I can only watch it fly away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my pedal is broken!

96. Yes! I just want to be bigger than Pan Changjiang, have a haircut than Peisi Chen, share with Pavarotti, and speak Chinese with US President Bushby! Oh, tell him to die!

97. You underestimate me, Feng Gong. I am an artist in Feng Gong, and real art is priceless. As soon as you lose it, you want it. That depends on how much it costs.

98. What did you eat? My mother brought me eggs. Give it to me. I won't guess for you. Guess how many. I think so. You give me one. If you want to guess, I'll give you two. Five?

99. Nowadays, many noble daughters with blond hair and blue eyes on the other side of the ocean are crying for China's green card, and they are desperate to jump into the arms of unmarried men at CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

100, you know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck. I can't eat any more after eating four, so I said, I really can't eat any more. I have to eat it when I get home later.

Classic quotations from sadness to heartache 202 1 inventory

Classic Quotations from Sadness to Heartache 20xx Inventory

1, I want to quit smoking, why? Because I'm afraid of choking you who lives next to your lungs.

When you ask me what kind of person I want to be, I really want to say that I want to be the person you like.

On the train of love, if you want to get off early, please don't wake me up so that I can sleep until the end and pretend not to know that you have left.

Don't look back, I won't wait.

I just want to hide in the dark corner, look at others coldly, close my heart, and don't want to be disturbed by anyone, so I will die alone.

6. The person who said he would accompany me has gone, and the person who said he loves me has already held someone else's hand.

7. If someone stabbed me with a knife, I could cut it back, but if someone stabbed me with a knife, I could only laugh at the wound.

8. Would you be a little disappointed if I, an unreasonable, willful and neurotic Sabie girl, wanted to disappear from your life?

9, just that kind of tenderness, no longer looking for reasons to hug.

10. The person who doesn't seem to care about you is full of things he wants to say to you in the chat window, but he hasn't pressed the send button. The person who resolutely dragged you into the blacklist is quietly paying attention to your joys and sorrows elsewhere. Those who think you have nothing to do with you have resisted the urge to contact you for 10 thousand times on so many fragile nights, but you don't know it.

1 1, some people don't love, that is, they don't love, and it's just futile to insist.

12, I have to propose a toast to you. I want to respect you. I want to respect you for coming into me casually and destroying me quietly. After drinking this cup, we will never talk about love again.

13. Making a wish for a person is just a fairy tale, and growing old together is just a joke.

14, I finally disappeared in the long distance after you. I wish you happiness from today. Everything about you is no longer my daily concern. Wish you all the best.

15, I once threw a moth into the fire for a handful of warm ashes that are still in my hand.

16, you are my dream only when I turn off the lights.

17, the more considerate you are, the less others care about your concern and grievances.

18, your name has become so difficult to say since it was blurted out at first.

19. Lonely people don't hurt others, but only hurt themselves constantly.

20. At the beginning, I always felt that the road was long, but I didn't know that life was subtraction, which was rare.

2 1, insecure children love music, love it very much and are afraid of the dark, but they are used to staying up late. They like to hide their real troubles and clothes with their pockets. Otherwise, they will not know where to put their hands, get used to hugging their arms, get used to the cold war, and sometimes they will suddenly be at a loss, curl up like a window, and feel inexplicable loneliness, irresistible fear and reticence, just like writing and reading.

22, the most humble is love, the most cool thin is the heart.

23. Don't leave anything you can't. People who don't care about you would rather dig them out of their hearts than ask for more.

24, send a lot of spatial dynamics, just to attract his attention, but I don't know that he has blocked it.

25. How did the embarrassed self walk all the way with a smile?

26. I dare not bother you more and more. Your indifference makes me feel so cheap to take the initiative.

27. You will never understand how painful it is for me to see you pretending to be calm.

28. Thank you for letting me show my love to the fullest.

29. Some people inexplicably broke into your world and gave you the warmth and companionship you wanted, but they disappeared inexplicably.

30. I miss you where you can't see. Who are you with where I can't see you?

3 1. How will you remember me, smiling or being silent?

32. Being lonely for a long time has become a habit. I am used to thinking about change for a long time, but I can't integrate into the lively crowd. Finally, I got used to being alone, quiet and lonely.

33. No more desperate thoughts.

I attended your wedding. What makeup should I put on to tell you that I am still fine without you.

I still can't bear to let you lose all my news, even if you don't care.