What are the symptoms of love syndrome?

The initial reaction after the onset of love phobia will gradually change living habits and pay special attention to emotional tests. All kinds of broken love stories, thinking that they are in their own shoes. Love is more intense, fragile and sensitive, and with the interests of finance and detective, he (she) is full of strong curiosity about any movement. Those who are defeated are tired, dull, wheezing, palpitation, toothache, headache and dreamy. From then on, they either wandered strangely or were as silent as poets, without mental illness or nervousness. Fear varies from person to person in the three stages of love. According to the stage category of love, it can be roughly divided into three categories, namely, fear before love (fear of rejection in love), fear in love (fear of anxiety in love) and fear after love (also known as fear of injury in love). Rejection fear symptoms of love: once you smell love, you will naturally shrink back, often afraid that your feelings will come to an end with nothing, so you would rather hold back when the opportunity comes. At the same time, such people will pay too much attention to the results and ignore the enjoyment gained in the process of love. Analysis: Such people are usually introverted, insecure and sensitive. They don't believe that they have the ability to get what they want, so they have to abstain in order to avoid final failure. To paraphrase, "In order not to let others refuse me, I will refuse others first." Not confident, they may have experienced many setbacks or blows in their early childhood. When every creation and attempt is suppressed by adults, children will have distrust of themselves. In other words, they have experienced family tragedy when they grow up, and they are not confident and distrustful in love when they grow up. In severe cases, people will suffer from rejection love phobia. Sensitive rejecters are usually good at observing and feeling. If they see someone being hurt by love in real life, they will impose this situation on their love that didn't happen. They will write, direct and act a bitter drama, and they will play the leading role in it. Prescription: build self-confidence. Besides the audience and the leading role, you can also be a director. For those who can boldly fall in love, self-confidence is to reveal their inner courage to each other and to accept the inner tolerance of others. Confident people are free to face all kinds of external uncertainties, keep trying and strive for the results they want. Be the director of your own life, not just the protagonist who plays according to other people's scripts, or just an audience. If you don't try, you will never succeed. If you don't start, you will fail. Do you accept this arrangement? The fear of anxious love Some people may think that people who have been immersed in the joy of love still talk about the fear of love. However, we may have noticed that some people, even in love, always calculate the gap between pay and gain and loss. People with this mentality always ask others to pay for him according to his logic, but they carefully calculate their income in private. Once you deviate from your own trajectory, you will be afraid and anxious. Symptoms: This kind of person usually has a sense of anxiety and loss, and lacks confidence in his love relationship. Therefore, they have high standards for their partners' every move and have a clear emotional outline. This kind of people usually can't observe anything in the process of falling in love. Once the other person's behavior is not in the "outline", they will go crazy. Analysis: Deep down, these people show anxiety because of extreme insecurity. In love, they always calculate their own efforts and gains. There are clear criteria for judging what to do and what not to do, what to do is love, and what to do is to ignore me. This attitude towards love often makes people feel that they are arrogant princesses or princes. In essence, their self-esteem is too weak, and they need the pursuer to be diligent and servile constantly, so that he can have a sense of security to support himself. In their view, once the other party's contribution to themselves (including feelings and behaviors) decreases, their internal value judgment will be disordered, and as a result, they will feel more and more "cheap" in front of each other. On the contrary, their partners' endless efforts can double their self-esteem. They are typical "misers" in love. In the eyes of outsiders, such people are in intimate relationships, but in fact, the anxiety of being abandoned and not being affirmed always makes it difficult for them to establish real intimate relationships. Because they must prove their value from others' efforts and affirmation, but in fact, people who only pay and don't care about the harvest are basically rare animals. Prescription: If you want to succeed in love, you must learn to put money into an "emotional account". People in love are very concerned about whether the other person really cares about and loves themselves. In his (her) mind, there are actually measures, such as your reaction to something. If you satisfy him, he will give you extra points, otherwise he will deduct points. We call this mechanism of adding and subtracting points "emotional account". If points are added, it is considered that one party has deposited into the account, and if points are deducted, it is considered as cash withdrawal. It can be understood that people who are anxious about love are basically people who only withdraw money and don't save it. When they ask each other to do something, it means withdrawing money from each other's emotional account. In the whole process of love, they keep withdrawing money, but rarely deposit money in their emotional accounts, which makes them overdraw in each other's emotional accounts. However, people with common sense know that no account allows you to withdraw money without making a deposit. Even if you hold a credit card with a high overdraft limit, the bank will ask you for repayment one day. Some people, after one or several setbacks in love, will keep that painful moment in mind. In the later life, out of self-protection, they dare not fall in love again, and are even more unwilling to give their true feelings. So we call this type of love phobia hurt phobia. Symptoms: feel pessimistic and disappointed about love, and feel that people can't be trusted. They may often be "love strategists", but in the color of love, they see dark clouds, not sky blue and water green. They will seriously tell people around them about the suffering caused by love, earnestly warn each other to stay away from love like drugs, and regard themselves as the only classic example in the world. Or they are just marginal guests, using the game world as a way to escape from themselves. Analysis: No one's body is completely scar-free, but not everyone will take this scar as the only mark of the past years, only patients who are afraid of hurting love. After one or several failures, they spread their experience here. Every time a love opportunity comes, they will never forget to look back at this historical scar, recall the pain at that time again, and then choose to pass another love. What's more, they not only deny their love, but also deny the love of people around them in the same way and compare their feelings with their own. In their view, a failure of their own is equal to their eternal pain, and it should also be a loyal warning to others' love. After this failure, such people will develop in two extreme directions. Some people regard the opposite sex as a scourge, and once they encounter it, they will avoid it. Others abandon love and forget feelings, and instead indulge in changing partners frequently. Because in their view, anything with feelings is dangerous. Once they are aware of the budding feelings, they will not hesitate to turn around and leave, and then look for new like-minded people. Prescription: Being knocked down is not a failure, but giving up trying is the biggest failure. If you leave without winning the championship for the first time, the creator of the 100 meter hurdle 12: 9 record can't be Liu Xiang. Everyone will encounter setbacks more or less before they succeed in anything. In this case, the most important reason for success is that you can persist and make persistent efforts. So is love. Before success, there is a process of trial and error. This "mistake" may pave the way for the next "right". However, if this "mistake" is only regarded as an eternal mistake, then it becomes a real abandonment of the whole forest for a dead tree. In fact, the manifestations of love phobia can be found in real life or movies. Some appear alone, some are intertwined and mixed with clues. For example, Lin Daiyu in A Dream of Red Mansions has the same characteristics between rejection and anxiety. Because of her gloomy life experience, she is introverted and unconfident. In order to cover up, she showed aloof, afraid of injury and extremely sensitive and fragile. Every little detail is sadness and fatigue. Muzimei, who writes with his body, is a typical third syndrome. It seems that I despise ordinary love. Instead, we only use sex to feel our own value and existence (to gain comfort and security through physical venting). In order to maintain this sense of security, she had to keep chasing sex, thus falling into a vicious circle, that is, insecurity-sex without emotional foundation-greater insecurity, covering up the truth that she was afraid to invest with so-called emotional distance and attitude, but in fact, such a life is so pale and helpless, and she knows it well. The extreme figures who are afraid of being hurt in love are lonely people in Time has passed. Their personalities are split because of emotional injury and they can't face the negative result. The way of self-awareness is not only to pursue the limit of martial arts, but also to find someone to compete for a lifetime to get a positive tragedy. Hemingway, who changed his partner frequently all his life, could not escape the entanglement of depression and anxiety, and finally ended his life with a bullet. No matter how many interpretations there are, it's just love. Everything has a 50-50 ratio, and love is no exception. It won't just let you win the perfect love, because the person you love is you, not happiness, maybe pain, and the opportunity is fair to everyone. What's important is how you strive for that happiness ratio, blindly amplifying the pain, which has always been self-deception. You smile at life, and life smiles at you. Love has no truth, as long as you dare to fantasize.