Laughing and crying! There is a 38-degree man on the bed. Why don't you go and have a look?

Introduction: Four swordsmen are in a fencing competition. The first swordsman split a fly in half, the second in four and a half, and the third in eight and a half. People think that the ending has been divided. The fourth swordsman stood up and waved a knife, but the fly flew away. Everyone laughed. This is the swordsman talking: look carefully, he can't be the father!

1. When I was a freshman, I had a buddy who loved singing, especially singing against the wall. One day, the next door couldn't help it and ran over and shouted. Who is singing! The buddy went on to say: warm and lonely, Qian Shan floating white clouds. ...

2. Go shopping with a second-rate boyfriend and come back by bus. He studied Chinese in college and has strong language organization ability. I can't say anything about him. I am not convinced and want to fool him on the bus. He sat beside me and hugged me. I suddenly shouted, "indecent assault." The whole car suddenly quieted down and everyone looked at him. I think I'll see what he did this time. Unexpectedly, he said, "What? Didn't you just give money? It was a day, 300 yuan. Why do you want it again? " I was speechless in an instant. ...

When I was young, boys liked toys and girls liked dolls. Now grown up, boys like dolls and girls like toys. I can't believe I can understand this. ...

4. My husband is lying in bed with a fever, and my wife is reading a magazine ... Husband: What are you reading, wife? Wife: The husband of a 37-degree woman cried and said: There is a 38-degree man in bed. Why don't you go and have a look?

My daughter got a big bite on her face. It took me a long time to make the bag disappear from her face. As a result, she cried and said that I should pay her a bag.

6. Talking with friends about the unreliability of online shopping, a little girl said tearfully that she bought a lot of things on the website of a famous brand underwear store last Christmas, and after a long time, she received a lot of luggage, but she lost a thong but gained a hair band. The girl thought it was not a loss, so she took it shopping the next day. As a result, she strolled to the door of the store and saw that the window was blue and the model was wearing it. The next board says "C string".

7. Mom 1.7 meters, the landlord talked about a girlfriend who is less than 1.6 meters. Today, when I was eating, I remembered the problem of my mother and girlfriend falling into the water, which made countless male compatriots have a headache. I told my mother. Who knows that after listening to it, my mother said simply that the water depth is more than 1.6 meters? Save your girlfriend 1.6 meters below, her head is dying!

8. Wife: "Honey, have you ever thought about other people's lives?" Husband: "honey, I don't want to!" " Wife: "Why mud?" Husband: "Can you let me live that life?" Wife: "Why don't I let you pass?" Husband: "well, I'll live my life tonight." I want to be above you, okay? " Wife: "..."

9. Why do you want to study geography? The answer is simple: because there is no justice! Why study history? Because we have no future!

10, buddy: I want a bottle of coke. how much is it? Stewardess: 7 yuan ... Dude: How big is it? Stewardess: The one that sells for 3 yuan outside. ...

165438+

12, a: my husband and I have a rule that we must make up before we can sleep ... can this be done? Yes, once we didn't sleep for two days. ...

13, having dinner at his girlfriend's house, a wretched man appeared on TV, and his girlfriend: just like your father! I went back to the past: like your father … I will never forget her father's eyes.

14, my daughter went to grandma's house, and grandma cooked fish ... My daughter said while eating: It's delicious, it would be better if I didn't put thorns. ...

15, son: Ma Ma, where am I from? Mom thinks it's time to tell her son about childbirth ... The son is at a loss: the deskmate says he is from Hunan. ...

16, please ask the fortune teller in our village to calculate my life before graduation. Up to now, I still feel quite accurate, saying that after graduation, I will take the civil service exam, eat public meals for about three years, and then learn to drive. When I am 30, I will live in a house surrounded by flowers. At the age of 32, there will be a lot of pens coming in and out, and the marriage will change ... I just graduated and didn't get into the civil service. A few days later, he was sentenced to two and a half years for an accident. After coming out, I learned to drive and start my own business to grow flowers. A few years ago, I made a million dollars. I am 32 years old, and I am still the same as the money accumulated by misjudging the market in previous years. The fortune-teller said that there was an entrance and an exit, but now there is only an exit, and my wife has run away.

17, Dad: Son, you won't go to school today. Yesterday, your mother gave birth to two little sisters I will ask the teacher for leave ... Son: Dad, just say you want one child and keep the other one for next week. ...

18, my girlfriend asked the boy, "Why are you so fat?" Fat man: "don't forget, when the unit sends watermelons, you don't pick big and round ones."

19, daughter: Why is it called Mr. Jiang's ancestor? Mom: It's a name for a dead person. Daughter: Did the deceased grandmother order fresh milk?

20. Mother wakes her daughter up: The rooster has crowed several times, so why can't she get up ... Daughter: What did the rooster tell me? I am not a hen.

2 1, the classroom is near the toilet, so I'm sorry to see anyone. I took a self-study class and ran out to pay the water bill. As soon as I took it out, a diaosi came in and deliberately peed loudly. Naturally, I can't lose to him. Then one pees louder than the other. When I returned to the classroom, it was terribly quiet. Suddenly, a sentence floated out of the corner: Are you peeing in Rama? The horse … peed … and then the whole class laughed …

22. Xiao Wang: I farted in the elevator just now. How dare you ... I burped before I finished this product. ...

23, Internet cafes play games, the money is almost spent, and I am about to leave. I saw the ground 10 yuan ... I handed the money to the webmaster, and the webmaster nodded to me with satisfaction ... I: No.5 airport 10 yuan!

24. Wife: Husband, what's the matter? Husband: I can't sleep ... wife: I must be under too much pressure. Just sleeping ... Husband: ...

25. One day, the goddess received a large bouquet of roses from her boyfriend, which was actually paid for ... The goddess broke up in a rage ... It seems that it is really good for me to pretend to be her boyfriend. ...

26. The second generation drove Phaeton to pick up girls. The girl came out of the nightclub and took a look. She got on an Audi next door and left a message. It's also fun to drive Passat to pick up girls, pick up girls! ! !

27. Painter: Is this the first time you have undressed in front of a man? Female model: No, but the man didn't take it off for the first time!

28. Just now, I asked my mother for money. My mother said: no, wait until your father comes back from playing mahjong and ask your father for it. No sooner had I finished than I saw my father come back. I feel sorry for my father. As soon as I cried, my mother came over and said, Your daughter asked you for money ~ Then I saw my father just put his hand into the door and drew his foot back. Shrink it out ~

29. If you are on a business trip and receive new money, you will leave it in your wallet for a rainy day. To put it bluntly, I just can't bear to use it. I am going to withdraw money today. Come on, it's all new bills with serial numbers. Okay, I'll shoot it again, and then I'll shoot it. Well, I still have no money to use!

30. Xiao Wang: 1 A painter painted it for my daughter years ago, but I haven't finished it yet ... Xiao Zhang: That's nothing. A painter painted my wife 10 years ago ... Xiao Wang: What? Xiao Zhang: I haven't seen the portrait, not even my wife. ...

Editor's note: I am a middle school teacher. One day after I finished writing the novel, I looked up the students' notes. I saw a student's note saying, "What should I pay attention to when writing a novel? (I said we should pay attention to three elements. ) Student's answer: Not too embarrassing. "

You fell in love at first sight.

Many times we go too far and forget why we started.

We all live in the gutter, but some people still look up at the stars.

I feel sad, not because you cheated me, but because I can't trust you anymore.

I can interpret your sentence that I don't like you that much as I like you a little.

In your temperament, there are roads you have traveled, books you have read and people you have loved.

Some roads, you have to walk alone, this is not loneliness but choice.

There are flowers in spring, a moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer and rain in winter. This is a good time on earth.

When you were young, you made a decision to devote your life to love. Later, you didn't die. Youth saved your life.

If I can see you after a long year, how can I get well? With silence, with tears. If I meet you again after a long time, how will I greet you? With silence, with tears.

If you are weak, you can't live well; if you are strong, you can't die well.

Behind some smiles are gnashing souls.

There is only one success in this world, and that is to be able to spend your life in the way you like.

Heart, if there is no place to live, is wandering around.

You can bully me if you are unhappy I like you very much anyway.

A woman without ambition is not beautiful.

Try to be the best of yourself.

Don't wait until you lose it to regret it. I won't go into details about many things.

Everyone has a hard time. But most of the time, those hard years will eventually become the best days of your life, if you survive.

Not taking advantage is education, and human relations are cultivation.

About falling in love with you at first sight

Good times are neither early nor late. Some people stop loving when they are poor. Some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that is the best time. At the most appropriate time, perhaps people living in the world are just waiting for an accidental encounter, a timely encounter. When the time is right, you will meet.

About falling in love with you at first sight

I fell in love with you at first sight, beautiful Ussuri. The river is clear and charming, like a beautiful girl walking leisurely. Spring has come, waterfowl are singing, misty rain is like gauze, and your beauty is even more mysterious.

Second, everything has signs, but there is no sign of falling in love with you at first sight. I can't guard against this beauty at all. It broke all my defenses about reason and washed away all my thoughts like a scourge. Since then, my girl has fallen in love with spring, and my daughter has the same thoughts as you.

Third, this sentence is really good. If I do it again, I will still fall in love with you at first sight.

Fourth, I fell in love with you at first sight. I fell in love with you. Eyes are amazing.

The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you. Some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that person happens to fall in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time.

6. "Loving you is the best thing I have ever done." There are only two kinds of feelings in the world that can be called romance: one is to love each other and the other is to forget each other. All we have to do is try to be with the people we love the most and forget the people we love the most for the second time. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you. You fell in love with someone at first sight, and that person fell in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time.

7. I like being around you. I can't imagine what it would be like without you. I like touching your face. I like everything about you, and I fell in love with you unconsciously. I'm glad to meet you at my present age, neither too early nor too late. It was love at first sight.

8. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you. Some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that person happens to fall in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time. It's just a coincidence to meet you, but it's not the best. That's a real pity.

Nine, go to the flower shop after work, fall in love with you at first sight, take you home to comfort yourself!

After listening to a friend and her boyfriend, I suddenly feel that you are really a good person. I can't have you in this life, but I will find you in the next life and fall in love with you at first sight.

Eleven, 20xx years, let me harvest a lot, let me harvest such a good you. From knowing you, paying attention to you, loving you very much, it took a long time to fall in love with you at first sight without affectation. I just firmly believe that that sentence begins with face value, ends with talent, and ends with character. Seeing your smile, it seems that the whole world is lit up, and you are the sunshine. My little deer, I hope you will be braver, more persistent, more loving, more handsome and better in the new year. A stranger is like jade, son chinese odyssey. I will stick to this humble love.

People who fall in love at first sight, don't meet again after parting. I'm afraid, afraid to fall in love with you again, just like I did at the beginning.

I fell in love with you at first sight, not because of your beauty, but because of the charm behind it.

Fourteen, some people you will never fall in love with in your life, some people you fall in love with at first sight, and it happens that she also falls in love with you. This is the best time.

After fifteen or ten thousand injuries, I need to be full of energy to comfort me! I fell in love with all your origins at first sight, as if I had gone back to a year ago. If I see my life for the first time, everything will be fine! Good night to me and good morning to you.

Sixteen, I pinch my fingers, tonight is a once-in-a-lifetime time travel! Are you ready? Fill up the daily high technology and accompany you! Remember to dress beautifully, preferably bright and moving! Let a man 1234567 fall in love with you at first sight! Wandering the Jianghu from now on! Remember, the worse the front, the more brilliant the back! Ok, not much to say, I want to recite 300 Tang poems.

17. Whether it's love at first sight or love at first sight, it's because I fell in love with you at first sight.

18. Memory will be lost and brain-damaged, but the feeling of liking someone will not change. If we meet again, we will still fall in love with you at first sight.

Nineteen, we should go further and further together. Nice to meet you. I am lucky to fall in love with you at first sight.

Twenty, there are some people you will never love. Someone in Shenzhen wedding photography studio fell in love with you at first sight, and it happened that that person also fell in love with you. Guangzhou wedding photography studio is the best time and the most suitable time.

The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you. Some people fall in love with you at first sight, and it happens that that person also falls in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time. Worry about me, grieve for me, frown for me. Being alone all my life and loving you is the best and most correct thing I have ever done.

The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you. Some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that person happens to fall in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time. All the encounters in the world are reunions after a long separation. You are the one who warms my heart!

It takes only a moment to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you all their lives, and some people will fall in love with you at first sight. This is just the best time and the most timely time.

Twenty-four, some people you can't love all your life, some people you fall in love with at a glance, and that person just falls in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time.

25. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people won't love you for life, but some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that person happens to fall in love with you. That's the best time! Maybe it started with a string of silver ornaments from Pandora?

Twenty-six, some people you will never love, some people you fall in love with at a glance, and it happens that that person also falls in love with you. This is the best time and the most appropriate time. Not around, but really feel each other's existence, two real lives, heart to heart, always in each other's tenderness, maintaining a deep affection and boundless warmth. Miss Zuo told Miss You that I was fine, and Miss You answered Miss Zuo and said, Good is good!

Twenty-seven, we can not be young, but not beautiful, no one will fall in love with your inner beauty at first sight. To the girls who have been working hard for beauty.

Twenty-eight, Mr. Rabbit has a lot to say to you. He fell in love with you first. He doesn't even know anything about you. He fell in love with you at first sight because of a movie. This could be a million years. Thank you for coming into my life. Nice to meet you.

Twenty-nine, I just looked at you one more time in the crowd. Hasegawa fell in love with your face. I unilaterally thought that my brother and I looked at each other.

Thirty, that's really great. What does that mean ... that is ... you will still fall in love with the person you fell in love with at first sight. I don't think I said that.

I like this hat very much, just like falling in love with you at first sight. I am confident that I will spend my life, but the reality has given me a cold slap.

32, the world is too big, in fact, it is really difficult to meet a person, that is, a person you like and quite suitable, so don't let go of the other half's hand easily. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you, some people fall in love with you at first sight, and that person happens to fall in love with you. It was the best time and the best thing was just right.

Happy 33rd and 5th anniversaries. In the fifth year with you, I was grateful to a group of fans around me that summer, which made me fall in love with you at first sight. You are my unicorn, my jpg, my prince of Changsha, the pride of Changsha people, my manager Zhang, my beet vegetable and my husband, but no matter who you are, you are my favorite person. The best LAY in the world, I will love you more in the next five years than in the previous five years, and I don't regret liking you from the beginning, LAY. I will always remember the road you walked with me and the road we walked together.

At the best time, I fell in love with you at first sight, and I happened to fall in love with you. Worry about me, grieve for me, frown for me. I only love one person in my life, and loving you is the best thing I have ever done.

35. The best time in life is when you fall in love with someone at first sight. That is the best time.

36. The best time in life is neither too early nor too late. Some people will never love you, and some people will fall in love with you at first sight, just as that person falls in love with you. That was the best time. Meeting the best of you is just right. Our first three-year anniversary is coming.

If you make a man cry, yes, you win, but you go too far.

1, in fact, I can understand that when my heart breaks to a certain extent, it will take many years for it to heal incompletely.

2. Distance does not produce beauty, but it explains fragile love.

3. Why does the person I love never love me?

4. There are sad shadows everywhere.

You don't know how hypocritical society is until reality slaps you, and you don't know how awesome people are until so-called friends hurt you.

6. Make a man cry. Yes, you won, but you passed.

7. Knowing you is a pleasure, leaving you is a pain. On the day of parting, what supported me was the deep expectation of the joy of reunion.

8, some words, it is useless to say more. Some things, only oneself understand. .

9. Don't say love easily. A promise is a debt.

10, when you are alone, tears still fall down unwillingly.

1 1, we use the most beautiful youth to strengthen our self-righteous love.

12, only when things change will people know how to miss, and always miss the real thing when we least understand it.

13, long time no see. Who will tease your new love without me?

14, I am trapped in the tears you left me and I can't see the frontier.

15, there is nothing wrong with liking someone, but it is wrong to like someone who doesn't like you again.

16, love is so casual when it is blank.

17, I just don't like you making others look unhappy.

18, the long eyelashes in the dimple are your most beautiful marks. I can't sleep every day and miss your smile. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

19, if as others say: love is a game. Does anyone dare to play me to death?

20. Sometimes, I like listening to songs not because they sound good, but because the lyrics are written like myself.