Your so-called depression is just imbalance.

First, your so-called depression is just a bad mood.

Xiaomei threw a piece of paper and I caught it: SDS instrument, the measurement result was 52 points.

"God, I'm really depressed!" Xiaomei buried her face deeply in her knees.

I gave the meter to Xiaomei. Because I don't think she is good. To be exact, I think she is a bit of a troublemaker.

After all, people are beautiful and have high salaries. Although they don't have regular boyfriends, they never lack boyfriends. This is the man I've been waiting for, Xu Niang.

However, Xiaomei, who has excellent conditions, often feels unhappy and unhappy.

So, after the last party, I handed Xiaomei a self-rating depression scale (SDS) to stop her thinking all day.

As a result, fortunately, a test really detected "mild depression" ...

According to China standard, SDS score ≥50 is regarded as a symptom of depression. But I still don't want to believe that Xiaomei, who looks beautiful, will get depression. In fact, there is a kind of bad mood close to mild depression, also called depression, which is an emotion that people often encounter in their daily lives. If this kind of depression is not effectively released and alleviated for a long time, it will easily lead to mild depression.

In order not to be confused, I made a simple "diagnosis" for Xiaomei with my shallow psychological knowledge.

For the five major indicators of depression, except for feeling unhappy (depressed mood) and occasional insomnia (physical symptoms) caused by excessive excitement in bars, there is no significant performance in the other three aspects (mental retardation, decreased will activity and cognitive impairment).

I patiently analyzed Xiaomei's situation, and it should not be "depression", but some "depressed emotions", which is what we often call "negative emotions".

Who knows, Xiaomei pouted and told me unconvinced: "Even if my sister is not depressed now, she will be depressed sooner or later." Sister' blue and thin, mushrooms ...' "

Second, your so-called depression is just unclear.

I encourage Xiaomei to say "she", because that is the root to solve Xiaomei's psychological problems.

At first Xiaomei refused, saying that she didn't want to talk about it and was upset.

In another way, take the initiative to talk about the small twists and turns you have encountered in your life and some small ways to deal with negative emotions.

Xiaomei listened attentively and nodded from time to time.

I think it's almost time, so I pushed on: "Well, my story is over. Would you like to share yours? "

I deliberately used the word "share" instead of "chat and talk", which is a strong "bystander identity".

I saw Xiaomei take a deep breath, as if she had made some decision.

Xiaomei's "story" is really sad.

According to Xiaomei, she has worked in the company for five years and has few friends to talk to.

It doesn't matter. There has been a saying circulating in the office building: "I'm here to work, not to make friends."

There is a competitive relationship between colleagues. It is fate to make friends, but it is not normal.

But what makes Xiaomei "blue and thin, mushrooms" is that a female colleague in the same department has always been "hostile" to her.

I asked Xiaomei to give an example instead of rushing to comment.

Xiaomei is excited to get it off her chest. Here we might as well discuss it together-

Xiaomei thinks Xiao Ah is pretending to be B with herself. She even suspects that Xiao Ah's circle of friends with the meaning of "showing off" is set to "only she can see it".

Therefore, Xiaomei never praised Xiao A. Later, I simply chose "Don't look at the small circle of friends". But it still can't stop Xiao's persistent temptation to Xiaomei in the field of aesthetics.

As a result, Xiaomei was depressed.

Third, your so-called depression is just blx.

In Seven Habits of Efficient People, there is a chapter about everyone having a life center. One of the centers is "taking the enemy as the center".

You must feel strange, how can anyone take the enemy as the center of life?

The author Stephen Covey pointed out in the book: "When a person feels that he has been treated unfairly by a person who is very important in society or emotion, it is easy to hold a grudge against him and oppose him everywhere. This is centered on the enemy. They usually have no inner sense of security, their sense of self-worth is changeable, and they are subject to the emotions and behaviors of others; The direction of life also depends on the reaction of others, always thinking about how to fight back; Their wisdom is limited by enemy-centered paranoia; I have no power at all, and I am always led by others. "

This happens to be the situation that Xiaomei is currently facing.

Inadvertently, Xiaomei has regarded her colleague Xiao as her "imaginary enemy". I believe that my language and behavior are not friendly to me. Gradually, Xiaomei's mood was involuntarily influenced by the "imaginary enemy" Xiao Ah, and her mood was deeply immersed in the evaluation given by "imaginary enemy" Xiao A.

I asked Xiaomei, "How's the family?"

Xiaomei truthfully replied: "It is a superior. It should be the kind of girl born with a golden key. "

I smiled: "It turns out that what you said about' Little A's luxurious life and high-profile behavior' is originally people's daily life. Including some comments on clothing and aesthetics, it actually stems from its superior growth environment. "

I asked Xiaomei again, "How is Xiao's working ability?"

Xiaomei pouted: "Not bad, after all, I was born in a prestigious school. However, she was lucky enough to talk about a long-dead client. Maybe her rich dad helped. "

I objected, "What is luck? Luck is' opportunity' just meets' effort'. There is nothing in the world for nothing. The latter's' maybe' is just a guess or an idea, and all the assumptions lacking factual basis are untenable. As the manager of the company, although he pays attention to the process, he will pay more attention to the result. Therefore, the promotion of small is by no means passive water. "

Your so-called depression is just imbalance.

Ma Yun said, in fact, the happiest person in China now is 20,000 to 30,000 yuan a month, with a small house, a car and a good family. Nothing is happier than this, and that is a happy life.

This forced me to give 100.

Look at people who earn 20,000 to 30,000 to 40,000 a month and are working hard for their houses and cars. Their happiness is far from as simple as defined by Ma Yun.

It is because Ma Yun has it that he can speak so easily and casually.

In reality, the most difficult thing for us to face is often "what the other party has" and "what we don't have".

Of course, this "other party" does not mean "in a broad sense".

Just like Ma Yun, no matter how much money he earns, no matter how many resources and achievements he obtains, we are only envious at most and will not feel "hurt" or "violated".

The "other party" referred to here should be people who can come into direct contact with us in daily life.

A study in Contemporary Directions of Psychological Science shows that people closest to us (such as partners, family members, friends and colleagues) are most likely to make us angry.

Therefore, even if the other party inadvertently comes up with something that the other party has and we don't, we can't help but fall into the strange circle of "comparing".

According to the law of attraction of "same frequency resonance, homogeneity attracts", the closer people are, the more homogeneous they tend to be. On the basis of homogeneity, Buddhism gives the meaning of "comparison"

"Why can't I do what TA does?"

"Why does TA have this and that, and I can only have empty hands?"

"Why is TA successful, but I am always incompetent?"