Satire fortune-telling couplets

1. When Zheng Banqiao was a county magistrate in Shandong, one day, an old gentleman came to complain. It turned out that a family invited him to teach at home at the beginning of the year. There was no labor law and no labor contract. The two sides verbally agreed to pay eight yuan a year. Unexpectedly, by the end of the year, the host not only didn't give a penny, but also said that the old gentleman had no ink on his chest, which was misleading. When I tried to argue with him, I was punched out. Seeing that I have been busy for a year, I have no food and clothing. In desperation, the old man had to sue the official.

Hearing this, Zheng Banqiao decided to test the old man's literary talent first, and pointed to the lanterns hanging in the hall.

Four lamps, a single layer of paper, brilliant, shining east, west, north and south;

The old man is right:

A year's study, eight hanging money, hard work, through spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Without further ado, Zheng Banqiao immediately summoned the shopkeeper, ordered him to double the payment, and left the old man to work in the official office to solve his future food and clothing.

2. The story of Zhu Zhishan

Legend has it that Zhu Zhishan once met a tout named Xu Zijian. This boaster is pretentious and full of pride, and nothing can stop him from boasting. At this meeting, he proposed to compete with Zhu Zhishan. Zhu Zhishan asked, "who is out? Who is right? " "Of course you know, I'm right!" Touts said casually. Zhu Zhishan smiled and said the first part:

The first three towers of Santasi;

Xu Zijian: That's it. What's so hard about it? Open your mouth:

Wutai Mountain has five terraces.

When the salesman strongly recommended a new pair of shoes, Zhu Zhishan said, "It's not over yet. I can add words. " "What is this? I can also add words. " Zhu Zhishan went on to say:

There are three pagodas in front of them: Temple, Pagoda, Pagoda and Pagoda.

Xu Zijian didn't even think about it, he said:

Wutai Mountain has five terraces, terraces ...

He can't go on. He can't say five words, can he Zhu Zhishan said, "Don't move?" Walk away with a smile.

3. The story of Tang Bohu

Tang Bohu and Zhu Zhishan went to the countryside on business and saw a farmer carrying water. I wish you the right path:

The waterwheel will drive the water, and the water will follow the car and the car will stop supplying water.

Tang thought:

Fan fan wind, wind leaves fan, fan is born.

I wish the couple in the Tang Dynasty are really ingenious and will speak out for a while.

Otherwise, Xiao Shao Lu said, Tang Bohu wrote couplets to a businessman and said:

"Business is like spring and financial resources are like water."

He thinks that the meaning of couplets is not obvious and he is not satisfied. Tang Bohu wrote him another pair and said:

The business in front of the door is like mosquitoes in Xia Yue, and the team goes in and out;

The copper coins in the cupboard are like lice in winter, and the more you catch, the more you catch.

The man left very happily.

Mosquitoes and lice are bloodthirsty animals, and everyone hates them. As a metaphor for business and copper coins, the image is self-evident. This businessman is actually "overjoyed", which shows his ignorance and shallowness, and this is the common interest. In addition to metaphor, this couplet also uses tautology (Team, Vietnam).

Tang Bohu, a great painter and poet in Ming Dynasty, was a romantic. For Chou-heung's sake, he claimed to be an abandoned child. He sold himself to Washington as a slave and changed his name to Hua 'an. In Washington, he is an extremely bookish person, who studies Chinese and Huawu with his son all day. One day, Chunyu Changhua took his two sons, a teacher and a group of slaves for a spring outing. He is very interested in traveling. He wants to test his son's academic performance. When he saw that the garden was full of Pu Ye, peach trees and grapes, he casually sang the first couplet:

Leaves of cattail leaf, peach leaf, grape leaf, vanilla leaf and woody leaf.

Who knows that China Huawu brothers are a pair of clowns, and naturally they are tongue-tied. That flatterer is a master of flattery. He only knows how to flatter others. When he saw that his students had done something wrong, he immediately complimented him and said, "A talented person and a great scholar are unparalleled in literary talent. Although this couplet is handy, it is true. The homonyms of Pu Ye and Ye Tao constitute grape leaves, and woody herbs point out their themes. This is really a unique couplet. No one can match it and admire it. Admire! "

Hearing this, Tang Bohu smiled alone. Master Hua was flattered by his praise. When he saw Hua 'an laughing, he flew into a rage and said, "Bold slave! What are you laughing at? Can you contact this? "

Tang Bohu knelt down and said, "Let me try!"

As he walked, he looked at the scenery in the garden and looked at the flowers on both sides. Oh! When there were couplets, he casually said, "Plum blossoms, osmanthus flowers, roses ..." But when he read them, he got stuck.

Master Huada said, "Go on!"

Tang Bohu was tongue-tied and sweaty, so embarrassed that he was almost stumped. Suddenly, he saw his beloved girl Qiuxiang and another girl named Chunxiang standing beside Hua Taishi. He blurted out: "Spring fragrance, autumn fragrance!"

Master Hua nodded and praised: "The homonym of plum blossom and osmanthus is rose, and spring fragrance and autumn fragrance also point out their flowering periods,' Pu Ye, peach leaf, grape leaf, herb and woody! Plum blossom, osmanthus, rose, spring fragrance, autumn fragrance!' Yes, yes! Huaan! Go back and get the reward! "

Master Hua looked at his silly son and sighed, "The cockscomb will not be released!" Hua' an glanced at the package and replied sarcastically, "Mr. Setaria!"

From then on, Prince Hua did not dare to look down upon "Hua 'an". I knew from the conversation that he was very learned, but I always thought he was really a lost son. I didn't expect him to be a generation of celebrities, who sold themselves into slavery for Chou-heung's girl and made such absurd things. Since then, Hua 'an has taken the place of teacher. Thanks to Tang Bohu's effective training, Chinese and Huawu made great progress later, and both of them won the lottery.

4. One day, Kou Zhun went out with friends and took the opportunity to say that the moon under water is the moon in the sky. Never object. Yang Danian just arrived and replied; The person in the eyes is the person in front of me. Everyone cheered.

Gong Liu's father is very good. Wang Anshi's trial: Xia, Shang and Zhou Dynasties. Liu Dui said: Four poems are elegant and smart. Wang Zishi boasted of his opposite: this is a perfect match.

6. Su Dongpo and Huang Tingjian are playing chess under the pine tree. A gust of wind blew and the pine cone fell into the chessboard. Su Dongpo said: Panasonic Go, pine nuts fall in the chess pieces. Huang Tingjian said to him: Fishing by the willow often hangs some silk on the willow.

7. On the wedding night, if you want to test the groom's talent, you will shut Qin out and say, "Close the door and go to the window." . Qin Shaoyou hesitated, vacillating. Su Dongpo is windy. Although he is anxious for his brother-in-law, it is inconvenient to do it for him. Suddenly, he had a brainwave, picked up a stone and threw it into a flowerpot filled with clear water. When Qin Shaoyou heard the voice of "Botong", he suddenly realized and blurted out: Throw a stone into the sky. Su Xiaomei was overjoyed and hurried into the groom's room.

8. One day, Zhu Yuanzhang and Liu Bowen played chess. Zhu Chu said: Heaven is a chessboard star, and the sun and the moon win glory. Liu Bowen said to him, "Thunder is the flag of war drums and electricity, and the wind and cloud are one." . Zhu Liuzhi's words are wonderful for each of them.

9. In the first year of the apocalypse of the Ming Dynasty, Prime Minister Ye passed through Fuzhou and stayed at Weng's home. Weng's impromptu counterpoint method: spoil the cold door and live alone in the poor window. Ye Gao Xiang was surprised to see that the couplet was full of the word "Bao Gai", and then said, "The guest official lives in the palace and is rich in room capacity." . The next day, Weng sent Ye on his way. Passing by the pond, Ye said: Weng Gong said last night that the poor window was lonely. I don't think so. Look: There are seven ducks floating in the pond. Count three pairs. Weng Zheng Chun was unexpectedly captured by an army. He searched the pond and frowned. He immediately replied that a foot fish jumped into the water for nine inches and ten minutes. Say that finish, two people smile at one another.

10, Xu Xi took office, and the students were greeted by the compliance rate. Students are born in poverty, and it is quite rude to meet with Xu. Shouling is angry in his heart, but he is against all the students: the red door breaks pomegranate and the seeds are sour. The students looked at each other and no one could be right. Xu replied: Bite the ginkgo and it will be white. The students are surprised, and they dare not underestimate Xu Wei any more!

1 1, Jie Jin, Amin dynasty, facing the bamboo forest of the rich. On New Year's Eve, he posted a pair of Spring Festival couplets on the door: The door faces a thousand bamboos, and the family lives in thousands of books. When the rich man saw it, he had the bamboo cut down. Jie Jin fully understood its meaning and added a sentence to each couplet: The door is as short as a thousand bamboos, and the house is as long as thousands of books. The rich man was even more annoyed and ordered the bamboo to be uprooted. Jie Jin did Sarah laugh, and added a sentence to the couplet: The door is short of thousands of bamboos, but the home is thousands of books. I was dumbfounded by the popularity.

12, Cheng was called a child prodigy, and the Prime Minister wanted to recruit a son-in-law. He pointed to the fruit on the table and said, "You got a lotus root (Lian) because of it." Cheng said, "If you are lucky, you don't need a plum (Zhong). Li Xian was overjoyed, but he gave his daughter a match.

13. When Dai Dabin was five years old, he should be a boy. Seeing that he was young, the students smiled and asked, "What do you want to be?" Dai replied, "Ge Lao". Everyone's saying: I'm not old enough to miss the pavilion. Dai replied loudly: No one is a scholar. Everyone laughed.

15, Yang Shen, Ernst & Young Xiu, was born in the first year of Hongzhi in Ming Dynasty. According to legend, when he was five or six years old, he swam in a pond near Gui Hu. The magistrate passed by and didn't get up to avoid it. The magistrate ordered someone to hang his clothes on an old tree and told Yang Shen, "The magistrate has made a pair. If you can answer correctly, you will be spared the crime of disrespect! " The county magistrate just finished reading the first couplet: a thousand-year-old tree is a hanger. Yang Shen goes out: The Yangtze River is a bathtub. The magistrate was amazed and praised Yang Shen as a child prodigy.

16, when Shen Yifu was eight years old, Shi Lingyun: The green water was leisurely and his face was wrinkled by the wind. Shen Dui said that the green hills are not old, and the head is white snow. Teachers love their cleverness and praise them.

17, Rong Guang, a bachelor in Qing Dynasty, was condemned by public opinion for competing for the construction of Jinpu Railway Station. A newspaper in Kinmen wrote Li Anyun: Guang Zhi strives to build a station, seeking glory and opposing humiliation. The newspaper offered a reward for the capture of the Rightists, but many people responded. His excellent works include: It is useless to talk about soldiers if you win, and arrogance if you win. Another link: Zhenyin, famous for thousands of years. What the couplet said is true, and it played a joke on the enemies of Gong Li.

18 and 1894, the Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese War of 1894 broke out. On the 2nd of the same year 1 1 month, the Japanese army invaded Dalian. When the news of defeat came, it coincided with the 60th birthday of Empress Dowager Cixi. Someone angrily wrote a book on the wall of Beijing: Long life without borders will be celebrated all over the world; The three armies were defeated, and they were divided into peace. Cixi listened to politics for more than 20 years, losing power and humiliating the country. After her death, she was honored as Empress Dowager Cixi, and she was blessed with health, longevity and happiness. In this regard, some people ridicule: hanging the curtain for more than 20 years, cutting land every year. Your honor is sixteen words, and every word deceives the sky.

19, the famous ugly Yang San satirized Li Hongzhang's traitorous behavior while playing the legend of the White Snake, and was persecuted to death by Li. The audience was very angry. Someone wrote such a couplet: Yang San died without Su Chou; Mr Li Er is a traitor. Li Hongzhang ranked second, so he was called Mr. Li Er.

20. Yu Quyuan took his daughter to visit Lingyin Temple in West Lake. When she saw the cold spring pavilion, Yu whispered, When did it get cold in spring? Where does the peak come from? His daughter smiled and replied: spring cold is a metaphor; The peak flies from the neck. Yu Jingbu: What is the word item? His daughter said, if Xiang Yu doesn't pull up this mountain, how can the peak fly?

2 1, Li became an official, making excuses to plunder money, and all the people hated it. After his death, someone made a couplet saying: if you die early, you will have eyes for a while and leave the ground for three days without skin.

22. Wang spends money like water on weekdays. He was short of firewood and rice during the Chinese New Year. He posted a couplet on the door: paint frugally and spend a dull year. Neighbors added a sentence to the upper and lower couplets: frugality early, indifferent year. The viewer laughs.

23, poor family, borrowing money from relatives and friends, were rejected. After the middle school entrance examination, relatives and friends came to curry favor and flocked to it. The scholar was filled with emotion and posted a couplet at the door: I remember the past year, the famine in May, June and July, the rice was burned to death, and I was poor and iron-free, so I couldn't get credit and owed money. Although there are distant relatives, who is willing to send charcoal in the snow; Fortunately, the articles in the first, second and third sessions of the Imperial Examination this year are all appropriate. After getting the Five Classics, the names and surnames are also fragrant, which is the icing on the cake.

24. Scholar Zhang is arrogant. One day, in the field, I met a farmer who refused to give way. Neither of them can pass the customs. The farmer smiled and said, I have couplets. If you are right, you are willing to step down and make way. The scholar is full of promises. The farmer said: A load of heavy mud meets Luz (once Zhong Ni meets Luz). Zhang thought hard and had nothing to say, so he had to leave and make way. Three years later, Zhang watched the river dredging workers break through the dam to divert water. In the evening, Qinghe workers came back with a smile, and it suddenly dawned on him that he had continued to join the Union: the owners of the two dikes also came back with a smile.

25. There was a rich man. His father and son each donated a Jinshi, which was very proud. On New Year's Eve, they put up a couplet in front of the door to celebrate. Lian Yue: father Jinshi, son Jinshi, father and son Jinshi; Wife, daughter-in-law, wife and daughter-in-law are all wives. After reading it, the gifted scholar Wang added a few strokes to the couplet, and the couplet was completed: the father was buried, the son was buried, and the father and son were buried together; Wife loses her husband, daughter-in-law loses her husband, and both wife and daughter lose their husbands. The rich man was ashamed and angry at first sight, so he had to tear up the couplets.

26. When Tang and his friends went to the street to play, they saw a square lamp hanging in the hotel, and the word wine was written on all sides, which read: Yi Deng, wine and wine. It's already late at night, and all the night watchmans have come out. My friend said, I'm right: three-night drum, two gongs, soup.

27. Li Yan extended his teacher's class and promised to entertain Mr. Tanabata. For several years, Li failed to keep his promise. It's Tanabata again, and three meals are still poor. The teacher told the students that the guest house is desolate, just like Tanabata tonight. Students can't be right. Ask dad, and dad is right: the cold forest is lonely, and we can move on the Mid-Autumn Festival next month. On Mid-Autumn Festival, Li stood me up again. Teacher Wang once again told the students that the green bamboo was unintentional and could not stand the holiday immediately. Li Jianzhi said, "If Huang Hua has an appointment, why not wait?" . When we arrived in Chongyang, the hostel was still cold, so Teacher Wang had to preach to the students again: Third Sister Han, Han Xin and Di. Hearing this, Li laughed: Sir, that's ridiculous! Di Renjie is also from the Tang Dynasty. Mr. A: I know it well before and after the Han Dynasty, but how can a meal be so forgetful? Li was suddenly speechless, but Hao flinched.

28, a corrupt official, in order to show his innocence, Yu Yamen book association: love the people as a son, enforce the law like a mountain. In the evening, someone continued two lines under the couplet: love the people like children, gold and silver are my children; Law enforcement is like a mountain, and Qian Shan is a mountain. Everyone laughed when they saw it.

29. Guo Moruo studied in a private school as a child. Once I ate peaches in the temple with my classmates. The monk complained to the teacher, who blamed the students, but no one admitted it. Mr. Wang said, I'll make a pair, who can muddle through. Mr. Wang said: I don't know who stole the peach yesterday and drilled the dog hole. Guo Moruo thought for a moment and said to himself, I must have been there when he climbed the Bukan Palace in Guangxi last year. Mr. Wang was surprised by his talent and was very happy. All the students are exempt from punishment.

30. When Chiang Kai-shek ran for the presidency, he continued Fan Ting's play couplets: frog in the well, small place in Xiaotian, arrogance; The strange stone in the toilet is crooked, smelly and hard. This couplet vividly depicts the ugliness of Chiang Kai-shek, and people all applaud.

3 1, 1953, Qian Sanqiang led a scientific delegation to visit China, Zhao Jiuzhang and others. The way is nothing to do with leisure, but to talk about the past and the present. At this time, inspired by the situation, Hua drew a couplet: Zhao, the top three, asked for a couplet. The "Top Three" refers to the three powerful countries of Korea, Wei and Zhao during the Warring States Period, but it also implies the name of Qian Sanqiang, head of the delegation. This can not only solve the difficulty of number matching, but also embed the name of a scientist in the bottom line. Therefore, when the first couplet of China and Laos came out, many people hesitated. After a while, I saw Hua unhurriedly reading the second couplet: Pythagoras' nine-chapter string. The ninth chapter is China's famous mathematical works in ancient times. This book records the Pythagorean theorem first discovered by mathematicians in China. At the same time, Chapter 9 is the name of Zhao Jiuzhang, an atmospheric physicist. That's great! The house is full of people!

32. Su Dongpo's flying stones helped Qin Guan: Qin Guan (1049- 1 100) was one of the "Four Bachelor of Su Men" and a famous scholar in the Northern Song Dynasty. Legend has it that Qin Guan married Su Dongpo's sister Su Xiaomei. Su Xiaomei is also a talented woman with quick thinking. On her wedding night, there were few stars in the moon. Because he was happy, Qin Guan drank a few more cups. Just as Qin Guan was about to enter the bridal chamber, Su Xiaomei suddenly closed the door with his hands and casually read a couplet: "Hands push out the front door and the moon outside". Qin Guan had to do a good couplet before entering the bridal chamber. Because Qin Guan ate too much wine, he lingered in front of the court for a while, and it was difficult to get out after thinking hard, so he didn't enter the door. The meddler immediately reported to Su Dongpo. After Dongpo's stealth rockery, he saw that his brother-in-law could not draw the bottom line, and gradually came to the flower pond to be lost in thought. Dongpo used his quick wits and bent down to pick up a stone and throw it at the flower pond. I heard a bang and suddenly woke up Qin Guan. Qin Guan said excitedly, "I know!" Then he sang the next couplet: "A stone breaks through the water." I am very happy to see Qin Guan sing such a wonderful second couplet. Naturally, he happily opened the door and let Qin Guan enter the bridal chamber. Since then, Su Dongpo's story of flying stones to help Qin Guan has spread like wildfire.

33. 1894, the Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese War of 1894 broke out. On the 2nd of the same year 1 1 month, the Japanese army invaded Dalian. When the news of defeat came, it coincided with the 60th birthday of Empress Dowager Cixi. Someone angrily posted a book on the wall of Beijing: Long life without borders will be celebrated all over the world; The three armies were defeated, and they were divided into peace. Cixi listened to politics for more than 20 years, losing power and humiliating the country. After her death, she was honored as Empress Dowager Cixi, and she was blessed with health, longevity and happiness. In this regard, some people ridicule: hanging the curtain for more than 20 years, cutting land every year. Your honor is sixteen words, and every word deceives the sky.

34. Guo Moruo studied in a private school as a child. Once I ate peaches in the temple with my classmates. The monk complained to the teacher, and the teacher asked the students, but no one admitted it. Mr. Wang said, I'll make a pair, who can muddle through. Mr. Wang said: I don't know who stole the peach yesterday and drilled the dog hole. Guo Moruo thought for a moment and said to himself, I must have been there when he climbed the Bukan Palace in Guangxi last year. Mr. Wang was surprised by his talent and was very happy. All the students are exempt from punishment.

35. When Chiang Kai-shek ran for the presidency, he continued Fan Ting's play couplets: frog in the well, small place in Xiaotian, arrogance; The strange stone in the toilet is crooked, smelly and hard. This couplet vividly depicts the ugliness of Chiang Kai-shek, and people all applaud.

36. 1953, Qian Sanqiang led a scientific delegation to visit China, Zhao Jiuzhang and others. There is nothing to do on the road, so we have to talk about the present and the past. At this time, Hua was encouraged by the situation, and another champion came: Zhao, the top three. Find the next link. The "Top Three" refers to the three powerful countries of Korea, Wei and Zhao during the Warring States Period, but it also implies the name of Qian Sanqiang, head of the delegation. This can not only solve the difficulty of number matching, but also embed the name of a scientist in the bottom line. Therefore, when the first couplet of China and Laos came out, many people hesitated. After a while, I saw Hua unhurriedly reading the second couplet: Pythagoras' nine-chapter string. The ninth chapter is China's famous mathematical works in ancient times. This book records the Pythagorean theorem first discovered by mathematicians in China. At the same time, Chapter 9 is the name of Zhao Jiuzhang, an atmospheric physicist. That's great! The house is full of people!

37, poor family, borrowing money from relatives and friends, were rejected. After the middle school entrance examination, relatives and friends came to curry favor and flocked to it. The scholar was filled with emotion and posted a couplet at the door: I remember the past year, the famine in May, June and July, the rice was burned to death, and I was poor and iron-free, so I couldn't get credit and owed money. Although there are distant relatives, who is willing to send charcoal in the snow; Fortunately, the articles in the first, second and third sessions of the Imperial Examination this year are all appropriate. After getting the Five Classics, the names and surnames are also fragrant, which is the icing on the cake.

38. Scholar Zhang is arrogant. One day, in the field, I met a farmer who refused to give way. Neither of them can pass the customs. The farmer smiled and said, I have couplets. If you are right, you are willing to step down and make way. The scholar is full of promises. The farmer said, "Once Zhong Ni meets Luz," a load of heavy dirt will meet Luz. Zhang thought hard and had nothing to say, so he had to go to the field to make way. Three years later, Zhang watched the river dredging workers break through the dam to divert water. In the evening, Qinghe workers came back with a smile, and it suddenly dawned on him that he had continued to join the Union: the owners of the two dikes also came back with a smile.