Feng Wan's classic funny quotations

1, Audience: Teacher Wan, I have been listening to your program, which is really knowledgeable. Listen to your program, I have been listening to you * * * * *. I feel so embarrassed. Can you ... (I am interrupted) Wan: No * * *, what's your name? Do you want me to call Batumi, Ma Er Qiao? ...

Audience: ... I didn't say that. Now I regret that I made it too clear (next88). Feng Wan: What did you say? It doesn't matter. You said, I'm curious. What did you say, lady?

Audience: Yes. But I think it's better to be with my ex-husband now, and I'm sorry for my current husband. Feng Wan: Then I'll give you a bad idea. Just tell your ex-husband that it is impossible to remarry with you. That's good. Remember, be quiet and don't let others know. Go ahead.

Audience: It was introduced by my classmate. Feng Wan: I'm sure the person who introduced him knows that he is married. They are a bunch of hooligans!

5. Listen: My girlfriend is pregnant ... Wan: Another girlfriend is pregnant. Young people nowadays are so irresponsible! Don't you take precautions? Listen: I was in a hurry and forgot. Wan: What's the hurry? There is always time.

6. Feng Wan: Many friends send text messages to our interactive platform to ask questions.

7. Woman: No, no ... We don't ... We have some emotional problems ... but I still love him ... What did you say? Wan: Huh? ..... you solve this matter, ok? The key is you. What's the use of asking me

8. Audience: Miss Wan, my husband and I have been married for two months. Feng Wan: Huh? Then I wish you a happy wedding.

9. Listen: Are you a crazy old louse? Wan: Really?

10, Audience: Later, I didn't expect my wife to come in. My wife broke the window when she came home. Feng Wan: Whose window did your wife break? Audience: Our own family. Feng Wan: Then your wife is really stupid.

1 1, Audience: Feng Wan, I'm calling today to say that the way you talk is disrespectful to others. Feng Wan: You think I don't respect you. Why are you calling? Huh? Lie to us to direct the broadcast!

12, audience: I 18 years old. I know a man who slept with him three months ago. A few days ago, he told me that he was married. Feng Wan: Girl, I'm telling you, he's a rogue. How did you meet? Audience: It was introduced by my classmate. Feng Wan: I'm sure the person who introduced him knows that he is married. They are a bunch of hooligans!

Feng Wan: Good. What's the problem? Audience: The problem is that I think my career has affected my love.

14, Audience: I accompanied her to the shop to have her hair done. Feng Wan: Which one is she? Make it clear. Audience: That's my colleague. Feng Wan: Oh, that's when you do your lover's hair. All right, go on.

Audience: Miss Wan, I was married, but I fell in love with another woman outside. I don't want her now, but I can't get rid of her. Feng Wan: This sentence sounds familiar, just like a phone call three weeks ago. Last time, it was you, asshole. Audience: ...

16, Anonymous: "Hee hee ..." Wan: "What are you happy about? What's there to be happy about? "Anonymous:" Is that Mr. Feng Wan? " Wan: "I am!"

17, Audience: Er ... I have no married life with him. Feng Wan: Huh? How is that possible? You don't want to or you can't?

18, Audience: Teacher Wan, I know a man who has prostatitis. In fact, I also know that it is not difficult to treat ... (Interrupted) Feng Wan: Who said that? I'm telling you, prostatitis is difficult to treat. All right, go ahead.

19, listen: thank you! What do you suggest I do? I'm nervous, and so is my girlfriend. Wan: Hum, don't you understand at all? You can go to the bookstore to look through books, or you can buy CDs to study? Relax. It seems inappropriate to talk about this here. There are many people listening. Let's not talk about this today, shall we?

20. Audience: I tell you, your mom and dad met at the place where they urinated, and then there was you. Feng Wan: (angrily) Why do you say that? ! Children don't like to hear it!

2 1, female: I broke up with my boyfriend, but I still love him very much. What should I do? Wan: Break up and break up.

22. Is Feng Wan's hair fake? Come on, let me show you (close-up). Look, if it was fake, it should have come down a long time ago.

Audience: The doctor said no. My husband is over 20 years older than me. Feng Wan: Okay, stop it. What do you want to ask me? Audience: My husband admitted to me that there were other women outside. Feng Wan: Girl, why do you give me another burden? Can you make it clear right away? Are we talking about cross talk?

24. Listen: This is the first time. I have no experience. Wan: First time? It is not the first time in my heart. You must have been preparing for a long time, thinking about what to do with your girlfriend, haven't you?

25. Audience: It's no use persuading him. He wouldn't listen and said I was jealous of that woman. Feng Wan: Then you can tell your grandparents.

Audience: But I feel very wronged. Wan: OK, OK, then what are you doing out so late? Can't you stay at home at night?

27. Audience: Just bring people to me, in front of me. Feng Wan: I said, are you afraid of your wife? Audience: No, I'm not afraid of her. Feng Wan: Huh? Aren't you afraid of her? Then your, uh, her!

Audience: My husband admitted to me that there were other women outside. Feng Wan: Girl, why do you give me another burden? Can you make it clear right away? Are we talking about cross talk?

29. Listen: My girlfriend and I haven't done that yet. Miss Feng Wan, I want to ask you, what should I do for the first time? I'm very nervous now. Wan: Really! This young man should be praised! There are not many young people like you now! Perseverance! I want to praise you!

Audience: Teacher Wan, what I want to discuss with you today is the sex education of children. Feng Wan: Good. I'm glad you have this awareness. How old is your child? Audience: My daughter is 8 years old. Feng Wan: ...

3 1, Audience: Eh, thank you. But what I want to say is that he often loses his temper and hits me. Feng Wan: I said you, what do you want me to say about you? Ok, stop it, stop asking, I said it's time for others to scold me again. (hangs up)

Audience: Miss Wan, my husband and I have been together for five years, and we have a good relationship. Feng Wan: Why are you calling * *? Audience: er ... I have no married life with him. Feng Wan: Huh? How is that possible? You don't want to or you can't?

Audience: But I think it's better to be with my ex-husband now. I am sorry for my present husband. Feng Wan: Then I'll give you a bad idea. Just tell your ex-husband that it is impossible to remarry with you. That's good. Remember, be quiet and don't let others know. Go ahead.

Audience: Miss Wan, my husband and I have been together for five years, and we have a good relationship. Feng Wan: Why are you calling * *?

35. Audience: Teacher Wan, I divorced my ex-husband because he is a playboy. Later, for the sake of children, I married an honest man, but we have never lived together for twenty years. Now my ex-husband comes back to me and wants to get back together with me. What should I do? Feng Wan: This woman, your mind is alive again, isn't it?

36. Listen: Miss Feng Wan, I'm getting married tomorrow! Wan (excitedly): This young man, why did you call when you got married?

Audience: Besides persuading people to get divorced, Feng Wan also ... (The phone is hung up) Feng Wan: Now is not the right time to comment. (furious) Did Mr. Li listen to the previous program or not? If it weren't for their bad relationship, could I persuade people to divorce? What's wrong with your ears?

Audience: I work in a funeral home. Feng Wan: (angry) What happened to the funeral home? Funeral home is not the place that all of us want to go!

39. Feng Wan: Don't get excited about this audience. Speak slowly. Now you are connected. What did you say?/Sorry? Audience: (trembling) You really got through to me. Hello, Miss Wan. Welcome to our program.

40. Boy: "Oh, my girlfriend and I are getting married tomorrow. I don't know how to spend our wedding night. Excuse me ...? " Madman: "Hey? You ask me this kind of thing? Ask your parents ... aren't they very experienced, huh? "

Audience: Today she asked me how she came. Feng Wan: Then tell her that Mom and Dad love each other and then you will be born.

Audience: But they are unreasonable, which is illegal. Wan: Don't mention such things to me. If you really want to talk, go to the public security bureau. We can't control it here

Audience: Miss Wan, I am 48 years old. My husband and I remarried, and we went through a lot of difficulties before we got together. But now he's seeing someone else. We divorced some time ago. Feng Wan: So what do you want now?

44. Audience: Actually, I know what I want to do. I just want to hear you say it. Feng Wan: Why do you always hear this news from Feng Wan? Does Feng Wan have gold teeth in his mouth? I'm telling you, Feng Wan has only dentures in his mouth, but no gold teeth.

45. Listen: Miss Wan, I am not very straight. Is there a problem? Wan: Why are you so straight? It's not like being a ruler!

Feng Wan: Ms. Lin? Hello, is this Ms. Lin? Audience: (excitedly) I'm Ms. Lin. Is that me? Did you make me understand?

47. Female: Miss Feng Wan ... Wan: Ah ... Hello. Don't call me teacher. Woman: Me and my boyfriend ... (not finished) Wan: Oh, let's talk about it ... You can't learn well at an early age ... What's the hurry? ...