Funny lines of fortune telling and peach blossom luck _ funny jokes of fortune telling and peach blossom luck calculation

The fortune-teller xianjian said that sentence.

These are the lines of Li Xianyi fortune teller: fortune teller: straight mouth ... it doesn't work. Do you want to tell a fortune?

Li Xiaoyao: If it doesn't work, free money! ?

Li Xiaoyao: OK ~ Help me calculate my recent luck.

Fortune teller: ... hmm (expressing hesitation, etc.) ...

Fortune teller: You must be very lucky to have a red face and a peach blossom! A woman is water, which can carry a boat and overturn it, so be careful ~ remember ~ remember ~

Li Xiaoyao: Hey! I'm lucky?

Fortune teller: Does this girl want to do math problems?

Zhao Linger: OK!

Fortune teller: Hmm … Let me see … Oh! Eta Ursae Majoris, a girl, has a strong aura ... which is very rare in the world. After becoming emperor in Korea, he was also a leader in the opposition …

Fortune teller: But ... I have a breath in my brow. I'm afraid … there will be disaster in the near future!

Li Xiaoyao: Bah, Bah ... Nonsense! Shine, we're leaving!

Fortune teller: Son … You haven't paid yet? !

Li Xiaoyao: Didn't you say that if you don't work, it's free? !

Fortune teller: Alas, it turns out to be true ...

Lin Tiannan: Dear husband, you came at the right time! Tell me your date of birth. This fortune teller was specially invited by me to match the moon with you …

Li Xiaoyao: Oh … I was born on the 19th of the twelfth lunar month in the second ugly year.

Fortune teller: Hmm ... Let me calculate ... Congratulations, my Lord! Li Gongzi and your daughter are two treasures in the world. Love is like oxygen! According to their horoscope, it is definitely full of children and grandchildren, either rich or expensive!

Lin Tiannan: Hehehe ... Great!

Lin Tiannan: Zhong ~ Take Mr. Wang to the cashier's office to collect the reward!

Lin Zhong: Yes ... Silas.

Fortune teller: Oh ~ Son, we meet again!

Li Xiaoyao: And you are ...?

Fortune teller: Childe is so forgetful ... Being original once saw a photo of you and another little girl in Suzhou, and as a result, Childe said that being original was talking nonsense and refused to pay. Have you forgotten?

Li Xiaoyao: Yes, yes, yes … I remember! At that time, you said I would have good luck.

Fortune teller: Being original also figured out that this girl will encounter a disaster in her life … the result … are you sure?

Li Xiaoyao: Looking back now ... what the Taoist priest said was word for word! I'm really sorry at first ... I'll make up the fortune-telling money for you now.

Fortune teller: Oh, forget the past.

Li Xiaoyao: Taoist! Please accept this money, otherwise we are really sorry!

Pay the fortune teller 500 pence.

Fortune teller: well, in your heart, originality will give you another motto: magic is not magic, Tao is not Tao, good and evil are in people's hearts; Desire is not lust, affection is not affection, and marriage is determined by heaven.

Li Xiaoyao:! ? ..... don't understand.

Fortune teller: You'll understand then.

Fortune teller: magic is not magic, Tao is not Tao, good and evil are in people's hearts; Desire is not lust, affection is not affection, and marriage is determined by heaven. Be careful ~

Fortune teller: Oh, forget the past.

Fortune teller: Do you tell fortune?

Fortune teller: The iron mouth is straight …