Who knows what that crosstalk is? This is a little joke.

You are talking about Liu Baorui, an expert in cross talk.

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Text:

Once upon a time, there was a man named Woxin in our neighborhood, who took advantage. Rich people have more real estate and more money. At that time, several enterprises were opened. There is a child at home who is very stupid. The child has been studying for two and a half years, almost three years. He didn't finish a chapter of Hundred Family Names. He always forgets half of Zhao Li, the former grandson of Zhou Wuwang. He forgot a sentence and the last sentence. The teacher is tired. This day after school, the son called him to the front:

"Read it again: Qian Sun Zhao Li, Wu Zhou Zheng Wang."

"Thousands of grandchildren Zhao Li, Wu Zhou Zheng Wang."

"Remember?"

"Remember."

"Read it again."

"Thousands of grandchildren Zhao Li, Wu Zhou Zheng Wang."

"Come on, go to school tomorrow morning to recite these two sentences. I will write a book for you with my heart. Don't come if you forget one sentence! I know you're stupid, but I didn't know I was delaying other people's children! If you forget a word tomorrow, you won't have to go to school! Go ahead. "

This child is so careful. As he walked, he chanted, "Qiansun, Zhou Yu, Qiansun, Zheng Wang, Qiansun ..."

Just arrived at "Qiansun Zhaoli", the corridor turned a corner, and the dog came and knocked him down, forgetting "Zhou Wuwang"! Go home and cry:

"Ah ..."

"What's the matter, beaten?"

"Not beaten."

"What didn't you cry about?"

"The teacher has written too many books, and the following sentence of Qiansun Zhaoli will never be forgotten!"

"Never mind, I will be a learning teacher tomorrow!"

"He said, don't retreat, don't let go! You tell me. "

His mother is illiterate. She can't read "Ask when your father comes back."

Later, I came back and saw the child crying: "What's the matter?"

As soon as the wife said this, "you tell him what Zhao Li, a thousand grandchildren, gave birth to."

I haven't learned it. I know what's under Qiansun Zhaoli! Let him ask the teacher tomorrow. "

"The teacher won't let go! Ask outside and ask a student. "

Find someone else. There is a man living across the hall. His last name is false. He is called a fake expert. Wow! You really can talk, know everything, know everything. You can talk without looking at your mouth You don't know a word. If you ask him, he's just prevaricating, more than Shen! Know everything!

Woxin invited a fake expert and said to his wife, "Order some dishes outside. We have stew, stewed chicken, baked cakes and mung bean porridge with sugar."

Ready, let the children drink, order some dishes outside, and invite a fake expert. This fake expert doesn't know what it is. When the fake experts look at it, they actually shout out what they have done at home. Wow! Pancakes, mung bean porridge, sugar, wine and so on. Eating this fake expert's chest is two inches higher than his chin!

After tea:

"Are you full?"

"I'm full."

"You drink tea."

Pick up the tea bowl and have a drink.

"Please do something-call the children." Call the child, "salute your fake uncle."

As soon as the child bowed, he stood by.

"This is your nephew, eleven this year, how stupid! I don't blame the child for being stupid, only the teacher has written too many books, and that sentence of Qiansun Zhaoli is also evasive. He doesn't remember. The teacher said that if you want to recite it tomorrow, just put it down. Don't let go until you can recite it! Think about it, son, if he doesn't study, he won't delay! Nothing else; Fake brother, what's under Qiansun Zhao Li? Tell your nephew to go to school tomorrow and then continue studying. "

Damn, the fake expert doesn't know what's under Qiansun Zhao Li, and he can't say he doesn't know-he ate others, so what? You have to get involved. Sitting here, just hold your horses and rub your chest down bit by bit:

"Oh, thousands of Sun Zhaoli under that sentence, eldest brother, don't be busy. I haven't seen it for over thirty years. I have to think about it slowly. Zhao Gan Sun, is that one of Li's men? Anyway, as soon as I say it, you will remember. "

The child is beside;

"Yes, I can remember it when I mention it, but I can't remember it when I talk about it!"

"Uh-huh, a thousand grandchildren is probably the beginning of Zhao Li's life?"

The child said, "Not the beginning of life."

"Isn't it the beginning of life? If it weren't for Confucius! "

"There is no Confucius. Talk a lot! "

"Many words? Qiansun Zhao Li-I haven't studied this kind of thing for more than 30 years, so I'm running errands! I haven't lost my mind in recent years. All right. Qian Sun Zhao Li is probably unreasonable! "

The child shook his head: "It's not unreasonable."

"It doesn't make sense, it's still all over the sky!"

"No."

"There are no people underground!"

"It's wrong again."

"Mother in the city is going to burn incense!"

"No."

"Empress of the Temple of Incense!"

"No."

"The empress is long and the empress is short!"

"No."

"That dagger is for self-defense, Shen!"

"No."

"The leopard's head and eyes are fierce!"

"It's too much! No. "

"Flying Tiger Liu Qing!"

"No."

"Celebrate eighty!"

"No."

"Ten pockmarked and nine handsome!"

"No."

"nifty little beauty!"

"Not so many words."

"People can cure fire!"

"No."

"porridge on the fire!"

"No."

"Wu Zhou Zheng Wang!"

"Hey, Zhou Wuwang!"

Wow, I bypassed 180 miles and caught "Wu Zhou JUNG WOO"!

He caught "Zhou Wuwang". Oh, great! The couple in Woxin regard the fake experts as saints! Visible master! The fake expert fell on his fur coat-he was pulling his hair! Eat here every day, drink here, eat well, eat for more than half a month, and the fake expert's face is shiny.

On this day, two people eat and drink together, chatting and asking:

"I said false eldest brother, you do nothing every day. What do you do to make a fortune? "

How is he? He didn't do anything!

"What line can make a fortune? I tell you, every line is rich; That's it. Toads should have bamboo poles and mice should have paper twists. I won't hide it from you. I have nothing. I can't do it even if I have the ability. I can't make a fortune without help! Just have money. "

That's sweet. He has a lot of money;

"So, it's no use me being idle here. Bring us closer and closer. Let's do business. Come whenever you want. "

"Ok, you leave it to me."

Rich fake experts just wander the streets. Wow, look at what business makes money.

He pays attention to small profits in all businesses, and he pays attention to cheap pharmacies. The business of pharmacy is called profitable business. Why? Drugstore: Wow, being carried by a big stalk. Take it out and shoot as much as you want. How much money is not negotiable, how much money is not negotiable. Like to buy radishes: "Give more." Buy cabbage: "probably a little higher." Buy medicine: "You give it higher." Or: "Catch more!" That was not the case. It's not the same as buying something else. One more thing, for Xia, pharmacies not only don't spoil things, but also make money. What? Say wax gourd, you see, in summer, boil wax gourd, soak wax gourd, put wax gourd in noodle soup, eat jiaozi is also wax gourd, always wax gourd, why eat wax gourd? Free and the rest of the money, wax gourd paste, wax gourd skin, wax gourd seeds, wax gourd pulp, wax gourd handle are all sold. The fake expert thought: "It is appropriate to open a pharmacy!"

Just north of Koulu Road, Dongzhu City, Beijing, there are three facades and a pharmacy is closed. When he turned around, he turned the drugstore upside down. how much is it? At that time, more than 4 thousand yuan, the pharmacy turned upside down. Clean up, clean up the facade, order some more goods and pay 10 thousand yuan. This medicine is spread out. Relatives and friends send plaques to hang red. Fake experts have to ask their former shopkeepers and husbands, and pharmacies have to be changed into shopkeepers and shopkeepers, so they have to ask some people for help. He didn't invite, because of what? They are all experts, so please. Afraid that others would look down on him, he didn't want it at all, so he did it himself. A layman in this drugstore can't do it. Wow, you can't run this business alone. He carefully discussed:

"Eldest brother, you also help."

I can't read!

"It doesn't matter if you can't read. I can't do it alone. Isn't it enough for you to stay in the cupboard? "

We need to find an apprentice. This heart has a nephew in his family, sixteen years old, named cowardly lung. He brought his weak lungs here. He is an apprentice here. With this drugstore, there are three people who spit: the owner's heart, the owner's fake expert, and the apprentice's bravery, just these three people.

I hung up my whip early in the morning. At nine o'clock, a man came in. This man is in his sixties, with sideburns, blue trousers, a belt and big shoes. An enter a door is a face of apologetic bow:

"Oh, boss, the market is open and everything goes well. Congratulations!"

Manned, owner stood up:

"Oh, sit in your cupboard!"

"neither price increase nor price reduction, congratulations, and ask you one thing. I am your neighbor, and I am a shoemaker. I am the shoemaker in front of your door. My name is Chen and everyone calls me Chen cobbler. I have stood in front of your house for more than 30 years. Now there are new shopkeepers and shopkeepers. I'm still standing here. Please look after me and enjoy a bowl of rice. "

False experts are quite polite:

"If you don't say anything, I have to ask you to deal with it. We are neighbors. If you pour water, bring boiling water to the cupboard. The backyard is on fire, as much as you want! "

"Well, thank you. I'll pick one."

I went out, picked a shoemaker and sat there, drinking water and sewing a broken shoe.

Just after ten o'clock, a drug buyer came in, hit his waist and pulled out a wow. At that time, he spent a penny and took out three pence:

"Boss, give a bag of bletilla striata."

"Good, you."

Bletilla striata is the study of cinnabar. He opened the drawer to look for it. In fact, there are several kinds of medicines in which drawer; He can't read, so he looks around. Even if he found Bletilla striata, he didn't know it was called Bletilla striata. I pulled four drawers and couldn't find them, so I quickly called an apprentice-I was afraid that if someone left, it wouldn't look good on him either:

"Tea, don't pour tea for the buyer? Put the tea on the table, pour the tea and light the cigarette! "

Drugstores have never been so socialized. I poured a bowl of tea and lit a cigarette. Cigarettes are old batteries, and three children don't have enough money to smoke cigarettes. Him! Call the apprentice and whisper:

"Go to the cashier to find a store for two dollars. Go out through the back door and come in through the back door. Don't take the front door. Go to the market and buy a chicken, white and hairless. "

The child bought two yuan and left.

My heart is very special: "Why do you need two dollars to buy chicken?"

People who buy medicine also press a way:

"Manned, you are quick to take it!"

"Wait a minute, we just opened today, and the goods are not complete. We'll go to the pile house and get it for you. Haha, please sit here! "

This man is willing to go, this cigarette is more expensive than that one, and he drank tea, and so on. There are still crying in the closet;

"manned, manned!"

The fake expert walks to the cupboard:

What can I do for you?

"Why should children buy white chicken?"

"White chicken, isn't this person going to buy white chicken?"

"Oh, how much is it?"

"What a son!"

"Three pence? Let's spend two dollars on it. How much should we give to others? Then don't lose! "

Said lost, this fake expert a face of satisfied, said:

"This you can't do, you have to say lost, I can't do this business! We just opened here, so we can't sell our reputation! Make money as soon as you reach out, and people won't come tomorrow! Isn't that how big pharmacies are run? ! "

Think about it, ignore him, whatever he says is what he says!

"Well, what does the shopkeeper say?"

The apprentice wandered around for half an hour but couldn't find a white chicken. Why? There are so few white chickens in Beijing food market that almost everyone doesn't buy them. It was depressing, so there was only a white chicken on the coffin. I haven't been shopping for a long time, and it's hard to explain when I go back. He bought a white chicken with two black arms for two yuan and came in through the back door: "Here you are, boss."

He took it, touched the chicken's neck and vomitted to stick out the disciple's mouth:

"Bah!"

"What's the matter?"

"What's the matter, disciple accidentally! Let you buy white chicken, what are these black arms? "

"no!"

"No? Does it make sense? Let people say that our goods are not real! Hey! "

Holding the chicken, holding two arms, the chicken quacks. Drugstores have to pack medicines for others, but live chickens can't! There is a row of prescriptions hanging on the counter of the drugstore, Ben! Tear off a picture, he can't read, why don't you just wrap it up? Niuhuang Qingxin Pill. The prescription of Niuhuang Qingxin Pill covers the head of a chicken.

"You can take it."

Buy medicine, and said:

"Wait a minute, shopkeeper, I'll buy Bletilla striata!"

"It's a white chicken with two black arms, isn't it?" That's right. "

The man thought, "can three children buy it?" I took it home and killed it! " This is gone.

As soon as this one went out, the other one came in and left them here.

"Boss, you wrap two silver beads."

"Buy silver pig wow? Ok! " Call the apprentice, "pour the tea! Light a cigarette! "

This time, he didn't pull the drawer. When the apprentice poured the tea and lit the cigarette, he whispered to the apprentice:

"Jewelry building next door, the sooner the better, more processing money, make a silver pig. One or two weights will do. It doesn't matter if there are more. "

The master didn't ask him. The boy came back with a bag more than two hours ago. There is a note at the bottom, which says $4.50-Silver Hunter. The fake expert took it, took it, opened it, pasted a piece of paper, punched out a prescription-chest-opening Shunqi Pill, and wrapped it.

"You can have it."

After waiting for more than two hours, the man weighed it in his hand and said to himself, "What a new business!" Go out and open it: "Wow!" This one doesn't like being cheap. He's back:

"Manned, you take the wrong one. I'll buy silver beads! "

"Yes, the wrong tube is changed. You opened it with scissors. It is absolutely full of silver, silver pigs; If it is a copper-nickel-zinc alloy, you poke the letter down for us, that's right! "

Nu Han put the silver pig there for a while, picked up the money and left!

Just after this one left, another came in and took out five pence.

"Boss, you give five pence of aconite."

Aconite, dried ginger, cinnamon, hot medicine.

"Father and son?"

"Ah."

"Dongjia!"

Wo Xin said, "What's wrong with you?"

"You go home and bring your young master."

"Why?"

"Entertainment outlets!"

"What entertainment outlets?"

"sell it!"

"Sell our children?"

"No, even you have it. People buy fathers and sons. You have a father and a son at home. My family is single. If I want to have children, I can never sell you! "

"How much is it?"

"Five children."

Hearing this, my heart said, "It's bad blood! Our child is 1 1 years old this year. What a good medicine! Even I am counting. Wow! All right! Wait, wait! " When I got home, the child was eating after school, and his face was swollen with anger;

"Stop eating!"

Grandmother when the child is in trouble:

"What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? Sold! "

"ah! How to sell the child? "

"Even I have, our father and son together. People buy fathers and sons, pharmacies, we are fathers and sons! "

The lady said:

"That doesn't work, three people. I'll follow you wherever you two go! "

The child was scared to cry, and the lady was so angry that she scolded while walking. The old man came in through the front door with his children.

"You take him away!"

The medicine buyer asked, "What shall I bring you?"

"What do you want?"

"I buy aconite."

"You buy a father and son, this is a father and son, you ask, are you adopted or adopted, you don't give money, you are definitely a father and son!"

I dare not take this!

Just then, another man came in and put two big boys there:

"Boss, you gave Bao two eldest sons, Amomum."

Amomum villosum and cardamom.

"Three people? Alas, we have three people here, even the boss, and I have an apprentice. Three people can't come. The father and son bought one, and there were two people left. Hey, here comes our inner boss; Yes, you can take us all away! "

This drug buyer is very happy with that drug buyer. You see that I am happy, and I see that you are happy!

The lady kept cursing the street, and the children cried with fear and their hearts were green with anger. There are many people around the door. At this time, Jin Chen, a cobbler, came and bowed at the door: "Hello, shopkeeper, I am talkative, haha, you, is this your boss?" What happened? Let's talk about it at home. The housework should be noisy here so that the neighbors can see it. Needless to say, this is the day before the opening, which is not even suitable for ordinary days. "

What sweet? That's why I complain:

"Master Chen, well, I have blood mildew! This business cost more than 10 thousand yuan, but it doesn't matter. Just now, someone bought white chicken, and we bought it for two yuan, so our three sons told him to take it away! Someone bought a silver pig again. Look, the pig is still there, and the jewelry building didn't give anyone money! It's all trivial matters. This man comes in and buys a father and son, and our father and son follow! This buyer, even the business is his! What is the strength of this business? "

As soon as Master Chen heard this, the shoemaker stopped carrying a load, wiped his head and ran away. False experts pulled him back and said:

"What are you running for?"

"I don't run? Come back here to buy tangerine peel. You sold me too! "