What is the custom of engagement in Ninghai?

In the traditional marriage in Ninghai, talking about marriage is a very important content. Many genealogies have strict and meticulous family rules, requiring children to marry. Marriage is regarded as a major event related to the rise and fall of clans.

Ninghai people pay attention to "media and industry", and generally only through matchmakers can they get married. As the saying goes, "the mouth of the matchmaker is the water in the stream." The matchmaker is well informed and knows who is going to marry whom and who is going to marry whom. In the old days, in addition to status, talent, appearance, property, health and other factors, the combination of men and women also attached importance to the taboo of the zodiac and emphasized the "eight-character matching". People are generally concerned about whether the birth dates of men and women match, so it is necessary to ask fortune tellers to arrange horoscopes. If Long Hudou, the snake eats the mouse, the tiger grabs the sheep, etc. occur in Liuhong, then there is no need for hands in this marriage. "Yi" is also called "Hegeng Tie". Write a post before the eight-character sign, that is, a post with the name of the party, date of birth, etc. Geng Tie is written on red paper and divided into two parts: male Geng and female Geng, which are packed in red envelopes. The matchmaker is carrying a mailbox on an auspicious day of the ecliptic. After receiving the boxer post, both men and women will go to Mr. Cui Tian to arrange eight characters. If they get married, please send a message from the matchmaker, and the two families are ready to get married by agreement. If it doesn't match, it can only be dropped.

Both men and women discuss marriage, and after obtaining the consent of both parents, the man's family can pay the bride price on another day. In Ninghai, this is also called "invitation". The amount of bride price generally depends on the man's family conditions, including gift money, jewelry and clothes, as well as other items such as sesame paste or glutinous rice cake. Gift money is mostly used for the bride's dowry, so whether the bride's dowry is rich or not is often related to the amount of dowry.

A pile of bride price is packed in a basket and sent to the woman's home by the matchmaker. After the bride accepted the betrothal gift, she hosted a banquet for the matchmaker at noon. After dinner, the woman will give the red purse, Chinese-style chest covering, fruit and other things symbolizing future generations to the matchmaker, who will bring them to the man. The man's family distributed fruit to neighbors and announced that our boy had a lover and was engaged. The woman also distributed the sesame cake or glutinous rice cake sent by the man to relatives, friends and neighbors, indicating that her daughter had been betrothed to others. After that, parents of both sexes can communicate openly. On holidays, the man wants to give gifts, commonly known as "send-off gifts". Among them, Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and New Year's Eve cannot be saved, and New Year's Eve is the most polite. Generally, 1 pig's trotters weighing 36 kg and a bucket of glutinous rice are given, which is called "Mi Dou pig's trotters". During the Spring Festival, the man's hairy son-in-law went to the woman's house to pay New Year's greetings accompanied by his brothers and friends. This lady wants to give a gift. Although the two sides have contacts, they should not be too close.

Sending the date is a necessary step before the wedding, and "date" refers to the wedding date. The man asked someone to choose an auspicious day, write it on red paper and send it to the woman's home. On the day of delivery, the man must give the woman "daily money" (also called "folding box money"), that is, the amount of money for meals when the woman gets married. The amount of money per day is converted according to the number of tables where the woman congratulates the guests and the cost of each banquet at that time. The man also needs to prepare cooked food such as steamed bread and sand cakes.

On the day before or on the wedding day, the man's family should send "baggage" to the woman's family. Positive burden is divided into big burden, small burden and gratitude burden. The big bear is given to the woman's parents to thank them for their parenting, commonly known as "abdominal pain"; Xiao Dan gave the woman's uncle, aunt, menstruation and other elders; Xie Media is a gift to thank the matchmaker. Generally, there are ten gifts, such as half a piece of pork, a rooster, a hen and whole sheep.

Because there are many gifts, it is necessary to prepare wedding bars, box bars, baskets, wine baskets and so on. These things should be labeled "Xi" and sent to the bride's house by the groom and his brothers. If the woman accepts the burden, she can't take everything away. For example, pig heart and liver can only be preserved, which is called "be careful not to leave the liver, and leave the liver if you don't pay attention". Other items are returned according to the courtesy of the woman's parents. The woman will also take the Ci of the History of Qi Ma to the man's house, cut it into small pieces at the man's house, and give it to everyone when the wedding is difficult. The man sent Zheng Dan to the woman's house, and the woman would set off firecrackers to welcome him and treat him warmly. After the woman's family took away the kitchen stove bag, stomachache bag, hair comb bag and other gifts, they put a lamp of rice, a lamp of lard, a lamp of sugar, a lamp of bean paste, gas food and eggs as gifts in the box string bar space. I also want to kill two sedan-chair chickens and tie them on my shoulders and give them back to that man. In an empty wine cellar, you should also hold candy as a gift.

In the old society, the day before Ninghai people got married, both men and women at home began to get busy. All walks of life are properly allocated by the steward, and chefs are invited to purchase dishes, and neighbors are invited to help kill pigs and sheep. The invited people can perform their duties and cooperate with each other.

The main color of this day is red. Both men and women should put up red couplets at home. There is a double happiness in the hall, and a red gauze lamp and a red candle are lit on the beam. The festive colors reflect people's deep wishes for the happy life of the new couple.

You need a sedan chair to marry a bride. Early in the morning on the wedding day, the bearers carried the sedan chair to the man's house and called it "Ming sedan chair", telling others that the family was going to get married. The man's house will place a bride's sedan chair in the middle of the tunnel, and a square table will be placed in front of the sedan chair, and the table will be sewn horizontally. There are seven sets of offerings on the table, including big fish, pork chops, tofu and dried noodles. Light a red candle and incense, and then an old man or the head of the family will read the wedding ceremony. After reading it, I fired my gun and kowtowed again and again. When the master withdrew the sacrifice, his understanding of heaven and earth was over.

At eight or nine o'clock in the morning, when the auspicious time comes, the person in charge of the wedding banquet will hold an oil lamp and sway in the sedan chair a few times. This is called "lighting a sedan chair", which means to destroy the special with fire. After the sedan chair is lit, you should put a "prosperous basin" in it, wishing the couple a prosperous life in the future. In some places, the "sedan chair god" is held at about four or five o'clock in the morning.

After breakfast, the wedding procession consisting of sedan chairs, wedding gifts and drummers set off for the woman's house amid firecrackers and drums. The number of people raising dowry depends on the amount of dowry provided by the woman through the matchmaker.

When the woman approaches the urchin, she should deliberately close the door to stop the wedding procession. The matchmaker stuffed it into the "door-opening bag" and made several demands before he was willing to open the door. This is actually to increase an active atmosphere. The wedding procession put away the bride price money, entered the hall and enjoyed fruits, rock tea and snacks. At the same time, the woman's family distributed sweet glutinous rice balls to all the neighbors, creating a momentum to show that her daughter got married today and let the sweetness of the wedding reunion be shared with everyone.

Lunch wine is called "Daye wine". After lunch, the woman moved out the dowry early, pasted the word "Xi" in red, wrapped it in red silk, wrapped it in red silk and put it in the patio. At that time, let the toilet brother-in-law carry the toilet with a pole bent at both ends. The toilet is placed in the green cloth pocket prepared by the woman's family, which contains an undyed egg and some red eggs, safflower raw and ginkgo, red chestnuts, red dates and red cotton tidbits. The blue cloth pocket used here means handed down from generation to generation. Peanut, chestnut, apricot, etc. Everything in the toilet has the word "Zi", which means that the bride can have children when she marries the man. The undyed eggs belong to the toilet brother-in-law, and the bride will exchange them for several red eggs after entering the door to win the lucky draw. If many people in the same village get married that day, the toilet brother-in-law will take the toilet to the man's house as soon as possible, and some even live in the woman's house the day before and choose it after midnight to win good feng shui.

The brothers who carry the dowry will tie up the dowry and arrange it one by one, with the big one in front and the small one behind the box, and finally the man's family will bear it. After the red makeup team is arranged neatly, the woman gives six red eggs to each dowry. The procession walked in front of the bride, and in the afternoon there were lively drums and firecrackers.

The wedding procession may be miles long. Ninghai's "ten-mile red makeup" came from this. Marriage ranges from soft clothes to everything in the house. Among them, clothes in spring, summer, autumn and winter can be worn until the 1960 s until the shroud, as well as waist, ramie thread and sundries. In addition to bedroom appliances, such as cabinets, boxes, kitchen tables, square tables, coffee tables, plush chairs, square stools, round stools, bookcases, square tables, antique shelves, etc. , as well as buckets, fried powder buckets, fruit buckets, washing buckets, large and small foot buckets, toilets, sitting buckets, buckets and other daily necessities 100. The most peculiar things are chopsticks and fire forks used in the kitchen, and even heavy stone tools such as stone mills and mortars are among them to show parents' love for their daughters. Some even use forest land contracting as wedding capital. Of course, some publicly publicize the marriage of showing off wealth, and some are afraid that relatives will be jealous and only give it in private.

Interestingly, some people deliberately put sugar cane, sweet potato and even bricks in the cupboard to show that their marriage capital has weight, which makes the marriage capital sweat. Therefore, every time you pass through a village, you should have a rest. Adults and children in the village took the opportunity to watch, and people also pointed and commented on the amount of marriage capital, the quality of texture and the quality of styles. When the wedding capital arrived at the gate, firecrackers were set off early. In the yard, the two brothers were busy moving the wedding money into the new house and sorting it out, which added to the atmosphere of the wedding. Shortly after the wedding capital arrived, the bride's sedan chair also came to the groom's house with the sound of drums. Everyone began to greet the bride happily, and they got married.

With the improvement of living conditions and the change of ideas, young people in Ninghai no longer completely follow these old customs and regulations when they get married, and marriage is relatively simplified. For example, many people don't have to send invitations, send dates and other procedures, and just choose a date to get married. But in any case, the custom of marriage in the past, whether it is continued or not, will be preserved in the form of a culture, telling future generations how our ancestors lived and survived.