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Shop fortune telling _ What is the general name of a fortune-telling shop?
Daily happy event joke
Every day, happy moments, jokes. In daily life, we can watch more funny jokes in our spare time, which can make us feel happy and energetic. Next, I will take you to learn more about the daily happy event Joke Encyclopedia.
Daily happy event joke 1 First of all, those who are good-looking and like to eat are called foodies, and those who are ugly and like to eat are called gits!
Second, it is said that men have gold under their knees. I quickly scraped off the skin and didn't even find a piece of iron!
Third, in ancient times, pharmacies would hang a couplet: I hope everyone in the world will not get sick, and I would rather put the medicine on the shelf to produce dust; Now pharmacies hang a big banner: People who buy medicine in 38 yuan give away a catty of eggs.
4. I wore a leopard coat to go out in the morning. A couple walked past me with her children. Her child pointed at me and shouted, Mom, look, Tigress!
I have a buddy who said to his daughter-in-law, "Daughter-in-law, I have a fortune teller. The fortune teller said that I 135 years old has a hurdle! " His daughter-in-law said coldly, "Why, the grave has been dug?"
6. The son is disobedient, and the husband beats his son there. I stopped him and advised him. My husband said, "Don't stop me. If you don't teach him today, you won't be able to manage it later. " Who knows, the son said indignantly, "You are not a good person if you don't even listen to your wife. Why should I listen to you? "
7. What is friendship? I changed my mobile phone number four times after graduation, but no one told me, but my classmates still contacted me when they got married!
Eight, compare your grades when you are a child, and compare your salary when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!
Nine, my wife made a dynamic in the circle of friends: keep exercising, 30,000 steps a day, great. In order not to be exposed, let me take her mobile phone to run every night, and I won't come back if I don't meet the standard.
I finally know why people choose a good day for marriage, because there may be no good days after marriage.
I want to live in your heart, but I didn't expect it to be a neighborhood with many neighbors.
Second, my money is really wet, because I have been crying when I spend it.
Third, what is really terrible is not playing the lute to a cow, but the cow is playing the lute to you.
Fourth, I hope you will have wine, meat and girls in the future, and girls will be ugly.
5. How can bangs grow so fast?
6. I am very principled. My principle is to follow your mood.
Seventh, I am single because no one can easily deserve me as a communist successor.
I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.
Nine, Alipay wants to socialize simply, as long as it is a function of "rich people nearby".
Ten, I just want to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall.
Happy day joke 3 1. During the exam yesterday, the invigilator wanted to check the campus card. I took it by mistake and used it as a bank card. I didn't find it at first, until I found the teacher standing there all the time. So in embarrassment, I took out my campus card and the teacher left. I thought it was over. Unexpectedly, there is a news circulating on campus today: during the exam yesterday, a candidate bribed the invigilator with a bank card. Under the teacher's repeated refusal, the examinee did it.
Second, in junior high school, the teacher called: "Xiaogang, you got 90 points in math!" " Me: "Thank you, teacher!" I hung up the phone and pretended to be sad: "Dad, I failed math!" " "My dad is black when he brushes his face, looking for sticks everywhere. I was so happy when I saw that the prank was successful! At this moment, the phone rang again. When I answered, it was the teacher: "Hey, um ... sorry!" " Your math score is actually 59 points. Happy April Fool's Day! "
Thirdly, I remember one year, I stole my dad's cigarettes. When I finished my last cigarette, my father came over before I could spit it out of my mouth. I rubbed my hands wisely and spit it out. It's so cold! Later that summer, the whole village heard my crying!
Fourth, our company has a relocated household with more than a dozen houses at home! I was curious that day and asked him. Me: Your family is so rich, why are you still working! He: You don't understand this. This should be the relationship between family education. He: Not only I go to work, but also my father and my mother. Even my grandmother is still at work. I'm a little ashamed ... He: Who will show off his wealth if he doesn't go to work?
I remember when I was in primary school, it was very hot one day. At the morning meeting of raising the national flag, the headmaster was giving a speech and a classmate fainted. I shouted, "Get down, there's a sniper!" You may not have seen a school where thousands of people all fell.
Happy moments every day joke 4 1, Xiaoming: "As the ancients said, every time you kill a dog, you are a scholar."
Teacher: "Is that why you play truant all day?"
2. I saw the message from my predecessors in the desk drawer: the beauty of mathematics is that people are confused.
It's easy to go to college. Hehe, it's very simple. Playing games for more than ten hours every day is as tired as a dog.
4. Listening to English, I only know that I heard another page through the sound of learning to turn pages.
The only difference between high school and college is that the dog food in high school is distributed secretly, while the dog food in college is on the face.
6, the college entrance examination must read: there is no way to doubt the mountains and rivers, and there is another village. Bright moon in Qin dynasty, closed door in Han dynasty, high price oxidation, low price return. You asked if you haven't set a date yet, and even doubled it. The chest is still open after drinking wine, GM = gr. Blue sky, yellow leaves, high temperature and high pressure catalyst. Seen from the side of the ridge, Lorentz force does not do work. Caoshu knows that spring is coming back, and Party B subtracts 4ac. The sand sea is deepened by unfathomable ice, and alcohol is dehydrogenated by acid dehydroxylation.
7. Classmates for many years, in the end, the use of your old classmates is to vote for classmates and children.
8. When I changed my new job, my colleague asked me whether I lived in the company or at home.
Me: "Live at home."
Colleague: "Where do you live?"
Me: "Next to 207 national highway."
Colleague: "When 207 national highway grew up, my family lived next to 207 national highway!" "
I ......
9. A friend of mine likes a nurse. In order to see her, he took good care of his illness and let her take care of him.
Later, after a long time, the two often sat together and spoke their minds.
On this day, my buddy felt that the time was ripe and bravely confessed to her. However, the nurse refused. She said: you are often ill, and my salary can't support our family at all! ! !
10, passing a beggar, I threw fifty cents into the cup in front of him.
The beggar shouted at me, "Thank you for your money, which ruined the coffee I bought with 10 yuan!" "
I ......
Happy every day joke 5 is still a hero.
Many people know the saying "I will be a hero again in 20 years", but few people know how this sentence came from.
A long time ago, there was a county magistrate who thought about greed for money all day, but couldn't find a name, so he found a bosom friend to open a shop and cooperate with him. Unexpectedly, after several moves, the confidant was found out and sentenced to three years. The county magistrate was afraid that his cronies would bite him out, and privately assured him desperately: "It will be fine, and you will be a hero in three years!" " "
Sure enough, three years later, as soon as his cronies left the prison, the county magistrate immediately gave him a lot of benefits and arranged a virtual post for him. It really rained, and he was very proud.
These two men continue to take bribes and pervert the law. However, Skynet recovered, and soon found out its confidant. This time, the sentence was even heavier, and one sentence was sentenced to five years. The county magistrate still promised him: "Five years later, you are a hero again."
Five years later, the county magistrate has been promoted to the county magistrate. Of course, it gives more benefits to the confidant and higher fake posts. A bosom friend is not only a hero, but also a bull.
These two men still don't repent and do whatever they want. Soon, the confidant was caught red-handed for being suspected of a major case. Because of his notorious criminal record, he was sentenced to 20 years in prison despite the magistrate's efforts. The magistrate once again swore to his cronies: "Never mind, you are a hero again in 20 years."
I didn't expect to find other evidence soon, and I was punished for several crimes and directly commuted the death penalty to my cronies.
The cronies really panicked this time, and the execution date is approaching day by day. He scolded the magistrate for not helping himself. It seems that he must quickly threaten the magistrate! How can I scare the sheriff without screwing things up He decided to shout a signal when he marched in the street before the execution.
The day finally came, and the people who executed the prisoners were crowded with people. Because the magistrate was not found out, he presided over the execution and stood above the court. How awesome! Seeing that the magistrate had no intention of saving himself at all, the cronies quickly shouted at the top of their voices: "Lao Tzu is a hero again after 20 years!" " Twenty years later, another hero-"
The cronies thought that everyone would feel strange when they heard this: they are going to die soon, how can they be heroes after 20 years? Unexpectedly, as soon as the voice fell, several prisoners immediately shouted: "Yes! I am afraid of a bird, and I am a hero after 20 years! "
The believers were puzzled. Looking back, they saw a few ruffian hooligans who were beheaded with themselves. Do they have problems with the sheriff like me? Thinking, the cronies asked one of them in a low voice, "Hey, what are you yelling about?"
"Didn't I learn from you?" The gangster looked at him adoringly and said, "Brother, I admire you so much. This last time we all want to be heroes, but we don't know what to shout. Twenty years later, we are heroes again, Niu! This is so cool! " As he spoke, the gangster shouted this sentence several times.
The onlookers listened and couldn't help cheering in unison: "Good courage!"
The scene was in chaos, and the cronies wanted to say more. Unexpectedly, the county magistrate made a decisive decision and shouted: "Execute immediately!"
By the time the token flew out, the cronies had fainted, but the phrase "another hero after 20 years" has been circulating until now.
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