Humorous message to my husband.

1, when shopping, please don't maliciously describe the shopping mall as a hook workshop, because sometimes you will be hooked by the home appliance department or the sports minister.

2. If beauty is a crime, you have committed a heinous crime; If sexy is a mistake, you have been wrong again and again; If cleverness is punished, don't you want to cut to pieces! I wish the first beauty in the world a happy life!

Without you, the world will collapse, but with you, the world will be turned upside down. Your hair is always longer than mine, and you always wear more colors than mine. But I still want to remind you that it's time to lose weight.

Dear husband, remember: if the husband doesn't send flowers to his wife on Valentine's Day after marriage, the wife will put a handful of dishes in the vase at home.

5, husband, I send you a funny message, you must laugh, or I will make you abstinence!

When introducing new friends to me, please hug my waist instead of standing by and guiding me with your hands.

7. I met a beautiful woman in the street for less than 5 seconds, and quickly pointed out the big shortcomings of that beautiful woman compared with me.

Eight, hey! It's raining and dirty. Hey! Honey, today is Mother's Day, which is your big holiday! At this moment, I want to send you thousands of blessings and greetings, which is the most precious "shabby"!

9, rest, don't just forget it? Oh, you went on holiday and left us alone. Should we entertain you tonight?

10, because my husband said slowly that love can actually make us treat any day as Valentine's Day, so I almost lost my eyes. I didn't expect such a rough person to spit out such good teeth.

1 1, husband: I hope you can spoil me for life. I hope you can't find anyone of the same sex with me except me, unless I'm dead or very ill. Your wife.

Please treat my family like your own relatives and friends. Without my parents, how can I be there? Therefore, you should be grateful and respectful to them.

13, beautiful you, today is your festival, everything is you in your days, everything is you in the days without you!

14, a word for distinguished ladies and adults: I wish you happiness. Today, I don't complain about not going shopping with you. Going home on holiday is really a happy lesbian, but I still have to stick to my post and be busy.

15, please remember three memorial sites: the first acquaintance memorial site, the first intimate contact memorial site and the marriage proposal memorial site.

16, unable to resist your love, willing to fall into your boundless love; I can't resist your feelings, and I have no regrets or sweetness in my heart; Your words, your laughter, are my favorite in my heart, I opened my heart for you!

I'll clean the room today. Honey, you don't work hard. I'll cook today. Honey, please hold a cigarette. Today, I'll pour tea. Husbands only need to deal with housework. I'll deal with it today. I hope you smile every day. Happy husband's day!

18, you are a balcony, I am a candle, and love is for you; You are a fallen flower, I am running water, carrying you running; You are bluestone, I am crescent moon, staying together in the twilight; You are a tree, I am soil, tie you up; If you laugh, I will laugh, too.

19, tell me once a day that you will love me forever, and let the gentle oath spread in my happy heart; Say to me once a day that love will never leave, and let the happy smile and sweetness multiply in my life!

Love you day and night, rain and wind, from beginning to end, your body and soul. No matter how sweet the sweet words are, no matter how exaggerated the expression is, raise your hands and swear to God that you love you until the end of the world! How I want to hear you say: swear to love me!

2 1, because of you, different dreams are so sweet because of you; Because I have you in my heart, I become very happy; Life is full of poetry because of you. It's good to have you!

22. When you left me for a second, the situation changed and the rain plummeted; The moment you left me, tsunami and earthquake, the sky was dark; The day you left me, time froze and there was no life. It is conceivable that you can't leave me all the time, I want to be with you forever!

23. I laid a love for you: when you are lonely, my thoughts will give you care; When you are sad, my concern will inspire you; When you are happy, my enthusiasm will cheer you up. Don't try to escape, my love has spread all over the world!

24. If you love me, you won't want me to hurt you secretly; If you love me, you won't want me to run around and be tired; If you love me, you won't want me to be sick and haggard; If you love me, you can't bear my pain and depression; Love me and you will give me happiness!

25, just for you, my heart is full of love, I think you can't collude, I can only hide you in my heart; You are in my heart, I miss you very much, and you make me more heart failure. Is it because of the distance?

26. There are three important days in this world. The day you are there, you will touch a chord. On that day there, I was no longer lonely in joy; On the day when "I" and "you" become "us", they will be happy forever.

27.20 1 1 The hottest topic is Love in the Wind, the hottest novel is Travel Notes, and the hottest TV series is Palace. So what is the most popular sentence between you and me? Do you know that I love you?

28. Husband, you are the happiest man in the world! Have a wife who loves you, keep her promise to you all her life, and walk with you every year today! Happy birthday, dear!

29. wife Today is your birthday. My husband can't spend the night with you, light candles or make a wish for you, but he has a thousand words from his heart? Ignite the blessing silently! Best wishes, happy birthday, wife.

You are the happiest woman in the world. You have a handsome, humorous and loving husband who keeps his promise to you all his life and walks with you every year today. Happy birthday wife!

3 1, we are soul mates, and our feelings are overflowing. Our respect takes Qi Mei as an example, our love lasts forever, our vows are broken, and our life is wonderful because of you. Happy birthday, dear! I wish you as carefree as a pig.

32. You are the happiest woman in the world. You have a handsome, charming, humorous and loving husband who keeps his promise to you all his life and walks with you every year today. Love you forever, wife. Happy birthday!

33. Dear husband, I hope I can see your smile every day and don't bear too much pressure. I hope I can stay with you until your teeth fall out, no matter how stormy it is ahead, we can be together. Happy birthday, husband, I love you!

It is said that meteors can give anything they want. If I can, I would like to wait under the night sky until a star is touched by me and falls on your pillow with my blessing. Happy birthday, dear!

35. Thank you for giving me a warm support when I am tired; Thank you for making me smile when I cry. Dear husband, thank you for waiting silently by my side. Happy birthday!

36. Your generous and powerful shoulders depend on me, and I am no longer timid; You hold me tightly with your strong arms, and my world has become warm ever since. Today is the day when you were born many years later. Happy birthday, husband!

37. Although I can't spend the night with you, I can't light candles for you, and I can't watch you make a wish, but my husband has a thousand words from the heart, silently lighting the blessing! Happy birthday, my wife. I hope you take care of yourself and have a good day!

38. In the dining room. Woman: Will you marry me? Male silence. W: Don't think that nobody wants me. If I am angry, I will find someone to marry here! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

39. I have never been a thief, but I want to steal a happiness for you; I have never lied to anyone, but I want to lie to you about happiness; I have never hurt anyone, but I want to give you a happy turn … I am tired of my fingers just to give you my blessing!

40. I was in pain when you left me silently. I don't know what to do. I hate myself when I watch your back go away. It's all my fault. I got up too early and caught the bus.

4 1, the husband and wife were robbed when they went out, and the wife was tough and drove away the robbers. The wife looked at her husband proudly and said, awesome, why don't you praise me? The husband mumbled something, wife, you. . . You are such a man!

42, give you a difficult problem, it is very difficult! Xiaoming's father has three sons. The eldest brother is called heavy hair, and the second is called two hairs. What's the third name? If you say Xiaoming, you are wrong. Of course, the name of the third child is San Mao, because Xiao Ming is a girl. hahaha. Laughing me to death, isn't it interesting?

43. Mr. and Mrs. Harry are fishing by the river while Mrs. Harry is nagging. Soon, a fish was hooked. Mrs Harry: What a poor fish! Mr. Harry: If it shuts up, it's all right!

44, happiness does not need a background, leaving only the back of laughter; Happiness does not need status, just live comfortably and happily; Blessing doesn't need flattery, just greeting. Greetings, contact and wish you all the best!

45. Husband, husband, always works for the public. How many glasses of wine have I drunk, and I want to go home and relax! At least do it at will, my wife will miss you in minutes! ! !

46. The teacher asked the monitor to check: students wearing vests and shorts are not allowed to attend the class meeting. Before the class meeting, the teacher asked: Did you do what you were asked to do? Monitor: No, none of the girls are willing to take off their clothes for me!

47. A man managed to put his luggage on the plane. The stewardess asked: Do you always carry such heavy luggage? M: Not next time! Next time it's my turn to hide in the box, my companion will buy a ticket.

M: Every time I miss you, the star will drop a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

49. The male colleague joked with the female colleague: I met your husband today. He said he kissed you on the mouth last night. Is it true?/You don't say. The female colleague was anxious when she heard it: He kissed me on the mouth? ! He's bragging, b!

50. Don't be sad. When you are sad, I am sad, too. My eyes are sad, my mouth is sad, my nose is sad, my hands are sad, and my legs are sad. Every organ in my body is from the inside out. It's really, really sad. God, move your sorrow to me and let me grieve for you.

5 1, you are like a cloud on the edge of that day, erratic and difficult to trace; You are like a ping in the water, flowing everywhere, which makes me hard to ponder. Can you tell me? How can I catch you, damn pig.

52. At the moment I left, your helpless crying and heartbreaking pain behind me suddenly made me understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you: I'm not selling this pig!

53. Among thousands of people, meet the person you met. In thousands of years, in the boundless wilderness of time, there is neither an early step nor a late step, only a gentle question: Happy birthday!

54. Countless touching moments have gathered in my heart into the most splendid scenery in my life. I believe that only you can give me such a special feeling.

55, deciduous winter solstice, friendship is like wine; The cold wind is biting, and there is no joy and no worry; Time flies, suddenly looking back, a greeting, alcohol cotton is still; Friendship is inseparable. I send this greeting with a smile: I wish you a happy holiday and happiness forever!

Happy birthday to my lover. Time flies, but my love for you is more mellow. On this special day, I want to tell you that your love has made my life complete.

57. When I saw you that day, I was holding a telephone pole with an explosive head, dancing with excitement, blushing and heartbeat. I asked you what you were so happy about, and my lips trembled for a long time before I squeezed out a sentence: I was shocked!

58. Meeting you may be the arrangement of heaven, and everything is so natural. You came from the crowd and looked me up and down with deep eyes until my face turned red. You said simply: fortune telling is not.

59. Thinking is a field with red roses in my heart, beautiful and empty; Missing someone is sweet and lonely. When you miss each other, it is happiness. The Spring Festival is coming, and happiness is my gift to you!

60. Dad, the baby misses you!

6 1. When the meteor flies, when the candle is full of joy, when the cake is sweet, at the node of your life, I pray that the four seasons will retain youth, the years will retain eternity, the sweat will retain laughter, and life will remain calm. Happy birthday to my husband!

62. Walking through mountains and rivers, your feet are high and low. After all the ups and downs, I still have to look for it. Life is busy, you have more or less, you have less or less, and the important thing is to be happy!

63. You are not a bestseller, but you are a classic in my eyes. You are very durable. I am willing to spend my whole life reading you.

64. You and I met, not by accident, but by fate; It is not a coincidence that you and I love each other, but we are destined to have love. Never regret the ups and downs, the stormy waves are not terrible, waiting forever.

When the wolf came to the pigsty, the pigsty was a mess. Mother pig arranged: big pig to block the door! Second pig, block the window! When she saw the pig, Mother Pig got angry and shouted: Third, don't read the news! You are fleshy, go out and draw the wolf away.

66. The mouse strayed into the flower shop and was chased by Xiaohua Mall. Seeing that there was no way out, the mouse picked up a bunch of roses and prepared to resist. Xiaohua Mall saw it and said shyly, Sorry, I'm still young.

67. Flower fragrance, bees have the final say; Whether the cloud is beautiful or not, the sky has the final say; The grass is not green, and the cow has the final say; Whether I miss you depends on my heart. Whether to send a text message or not is, of course, my decision.

68. I have been afraid to say something to you, but if you don't say it on your birthday, you will never have a chance: you are really annoying ... likable, and you can't get tired of watching it!

I miss you so much! Oh, I accidentally sent it wrong. I sent it anyway. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, please send these four words back to me, thank you!

70. I always feel chest pain these days. I went to the hospital to check a film and found something in it. When I read it carefully, I thought I had recorded your name in the communication record, and I didn't know it was in my heart until today.

7 1, have you heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

72. The figure waiting at dusk, the eternal expectation in the long night, the tears of missing when lonely, the declaration of loneliness when leaving, and the happy expression when thinking of you are all concentrated in a deep miss. My heart has been sent, please sign for it with love!

73. Stick to the position of love and the original agreement; Although there were countless lives in the past, it was only with your heart; No matter what the situation is, I just want to join hands with you to create happiness!

74. The flowers are just right, the birds are singing and the sun is shining; Sleep, smile and eliminate fatigue; The phone rang and the message arrived. My lover took a closer look: I wish you a happy mood every day!

75. oh, my god Please send me a watermelon to those guys who forget me, don't call me, don't send me messages, don't miss me, wish them enough, and then walk on the watermelon skin! Brilliant, it is sunshine; The red one is a lantern; Hot,

76. Wukong develops tourism in Huaguoshan, and Wukong also raises turtles in Liushahe; Master, I wrote a book about the journey to learn from the scriptures! Everyone cares about you. Please give my regards to the teacher. Bajie, are you okay?

77. Happiness is a grateful heart, a healthy body, a favorite job, a beloved person and a group of trusted friends, and you have everything. Happy New Year!

78. When your mobile phone rings, that's my greeting; When you receive the message, you have my heart; When you read the information, you have my concern; When you are ready to turn off your phone, remember my deep blessing: a safe and happy New Year!

79. When everything becomes the wind, I am still waiting here; When the world has changed, I still stick to the original; Who taught me to be the stupidest person in the world and only know how to be nice to the person I like?

80. I will buy you a box of the most delicious cakes, put them on the round table, light 24 candles for you, and make all love burn into hearts. You make a wish, and I will tell you gently: Happy birthday, husband, I love you.

8 1 I can't stop thinking about you. The feeling of touching your skin is charming. No one can stop my surging desire. I must come back to your side and sing happiness again-my beloved mahjong!

82, crying silly, happy days are gone? I warned you not to be greedy, but you just wouldn't listen. Now you should remember that pigs will be slaughtered when they reach a certain weight.

83. I can't sleep when I miss you, and my heart is pounding when I miss you; I'm obsessed with your love, I love you, I'm dying!

Finishing: zhl20 1704