Humorous joke fortune telling _ humorous joke fortune telling sentence

What humorous and positive jokes are there?

What humorous and positive jokes are there?

What humorous and positive jokes are there? The material of our jokes comes from life. Jokes can not only add fun to life, but also add a little color to the deserted working atmosphere. I collected some articles about humor and positive jokes. Welcome to reading.

What humorous and positive jokes are there?

1, my sister was eating a bag of potato chips in her hand, and my brother wanted to eat them, so I said to my sister, Sister and brother will help you taste the potato chips. This is because my sister carefully took out a piece and put it in her mouth, saying it was quite crisp when she ate it.

The teacher saw a student with cotton in his ears in class and asked if the student was injured. The student actually replied, teacher, didn't you say yesterday that I learned knowledge in one ear and out the other? Then I'll stuff my knowledge with cotton. The teacher was speechless at once.

3. Why didn't the United Nations take a stand on the Diaoyu Islands incident? There are contradictions between small countries and small countries, and once they are mediated, the contradictions will disappear. There are contradictions between small countries and big countries. Once you mediate, the small country will be gone. There are contradictions between big countries. Once mediation is successful, the United Nations will cease to exist. May you be happy!

4. Send you my sincere infatuation. Whether I can touch your heart depends on whether you have a heart or not. Please look at my kindness and love. In return, is it sad or happy? Do you really have the heart to be unhappy Hehe, I wish you happiness!

Watching TV with my ten-year-old son, an evil mother-in-law forced her daughter-in-law to death. My son asked me, "Mom, will you be like this in the future?" "Grandma is good to her mother, how can she force her mother?" "No, I mean whether you will force my wife to death in the future!" .

6. Mei went to the city for the first time and was squeezed into the second floor of a double-decker bus at the bus stop. She looked around and was surprised to find that there was no driver in the front half of the car. She blurted out, "hey, people in the city are all cows." Let this iron guy run by himself, it's amazing! "

7. Listen to the person holding the mobile phone: You have been chased by happiness, chased by good luck, monitored by wealth, attacked by health, successfully attacked by sneak attack, and stared at by happiness. Please immediately put down your troubled weapons and pressure bombs and surrender immediately!

8. A female classmate has not seen for several years, and she has changed from a toothpick girl to a big fat man. Today, I met my buddy in the street, and we were all surprised! After a few seconds of silence, a buddy said: Everyone says that time is a knife to kill pigs. How did it become your pig food?

9. You say you are gentle and lovely, you say you have extraordinary temperament, you say you are full of charm, you say you are loved by everyone, you say you have never given up being a new generation idol, and I believe you. I picked up your photo on a whim and made a screen saver for my mobile phone. Oh, my God, it crashed immediately!

10, language: Weibo is very popular now, and we are going to open a topic called micro-language. Mathematics: Then we call it micro-mathematics. Physics: We call it microphysics. L 1: We call it Micro English. The creature suddenly burst into tears: Nima, I won't play with you! Heart, I don't blame you, but why a woman? "

What humorous and positive jokes are there? 2 1. When the bus stops at a station, the driver opens the door. A man waiting for the bus asked, "Is it to Station A?" The driver said angrily, "No" and closed the door. The man asked again, "Go to Bili?" The driver quickly opened the door and said, "I can get there." The man glanced at the driver and turned away.

Now the bus has two doors, the front door and the back door. One day, a bus arrived at the station, and a man got on the bus from the back door. Someone said with great dissatisfaction, "I entered from the front door." The man said confidently, "Isn't it popular to enter through the back door now?"

3. "March 8" ordered me to love you, drown your troubles, wash away your confusion, destroy your melancholy, break your cowardice, stir your happiness, ripple your happiness, rebuild your success, hang up your pride, and don't kiss me. Everything wet is sweet!

4. A beautiful woman stopped to count her marriage when she passed a person who looked at her face. Beauty: I want to ask when I can meet my other half. Fortune teller: Do you want it or not? Beauty: Of course it's on time. Fortune teller: Come back after removing makeup.

On the bus, a man touched a woman, and the woman glared at him. After a while, the man touched the woman again, and the woman said angrily,' What are you doing?' The man said shyly,' You've been stepping on my foot, but you haven't broken your mat. '

6. One day I was on the bus and the phone came. I am a good classmate. I don't want to be in front of him, fall in price. After a few words, I said, "Let's talk about it another day. I'm driving!" " As a result, the bus stopped at the right time: "Ding Dong ... People's Square is here, please get off at the back door!"

7. The rich man took his silly son to visit the food factory. He said: The production line here is very advanced. When pigs go in, sausages will come out. The silly son asked: Is there a production line where sausages go in and pigs go out? The rich man said angrily, your mother is!

8. Tang Yan stretched out his palm and laughed: Hahahaha! I'm the director! Pig Bajie laughed with a big belly: Haha, I'm Gao Fushuai! Friar Sand pinched his beard and smiled: I am a beard, not a beard! At this moment, the Monkey King's eyes were shining with golden light, and he said, Is old A Zi a grandson?

9. A man always sees beautiful women on the bus and likes to sneak a look at her after getting on the bus. One day, just glancing at her secretly, I didn't expect the fat woman next to me to come over and say to a man,' Do you want my phone number? Why do you always sneak a look at me? I have been paying attention to you for several days.

10, go to the internet cafe all night to recall the laziness of being single; Go to the park to enjoy the romance of love; Go to karaoke bars to sing and release the tension of life; Go through the cinema and review the vicissitudes of time. On weekends, I think, my wife calls home for dinner. All imaginations are ruined.

What humorous and positive jokes are there? 3 1. Yesterday I went to the pedicure shop downstairs to wash my feet, which was washed by the new young master. The super hand was so strong that it pinched my sister several times. I said "be gentle" more than five times. My sister couldn't help but say it again gently. The young man was shy and said weakly, "If you are lighter, you just touched it."

2, smoke, leave the poison gas to yourself, and leave the heat to the earth. It's not my fault that the earth is warming, it's all caused by paying taxes according to law. What's wrong with me smoking? I paid the tax. I smoke for money, and you smoke secondhand smoke. That's free. You don't have to pay any taxes. No tax, no right to speak.

In winter, the bus is crowded with people standing. There is a big sister wearing a scarf in front. After circling around the neck, he threw it back and threw it around the neck of the person behind him. The elder sister looked back at the person behind her and said with a smile, "Hey, you are just like my scarf!" " "

4. People in the new era go to work by bus. Men in the new era will be greedy, women in the new era will be wrapped in gold and silver, puppies in the new era will be better than their owners, and work in the new era will be irritating. He finally found a job. He said he would only get a commission, not pay you. I was angry and called him a thief on the spot.

The most annoying person on the bus is the smoker. It happened that a man was drunk when he smoked and spit his cigarette in front of a young lady. "Can you have some quality!" "There are already a lot of figures (quality). Don't you think that smoke is just a number 3? "

6. In summer, a young couple took a bus. Many people can't find seats, so they have to stand. In front of her husband is a scantily clad girl. After sitting for one station, my husband was so hot that the sweat on his forehead dripped down his mouth. When the wife saw it, she pinched her husband's thigh and whispered, it's really worthless, and my mouth is watering!