After graduation, my boyfriend wants to study PhD. Should I go to work and wait for him to graduate?

My boyfriend and I are college classmates and met at a club activity. He is one year younger than me. In the first two years, I had a good relationship. At the beginning of the third year, he broke up because he called his friends, friends and friends and some small things accumulated. A month later, because of my retention and his inability to let go, we got back together. He said we got back together this time to marry me.

What he told me was that he would get engaged to me and get a license these two years. If he is admitted to graduate school, he will do it after the wedding. I also reluctantly accepted that the wedding would be a little late, and I didn't know if he would be admitted at that time. He graduated from full-time postgraduate entrance examination and I fully support him. Now I have successfully passed the exam and have not started school yet.

My mother wanted to solve our problems before, because she was afraid it would affect his review. Now she wants to meet her parents when she is admitted. As a result, his family delayed in every way and then met.

The man's family went to fortune-telling to set a date, saying that he got married at the age of 28, and I was 29 years old. I graduated from graduate school three times, which was really lucky. They asked my family to calculate their lives, and we can calculate it in August next year. Parents hope to get a license next year, but the man's parents insist that they must be 28 years old to get a license. I said I was going to be 29, too old, and his mother replied, "The female neighbor next door didn't get married until she was 33." Nobody will give in to this matter, and his parents will be engaged next year at the latest.

In the meantime, another thing happened. We want to buy a house together and need 600,000 frozen funds. Our family is willing to pay 500 thousand to let their family pay 6.5438+10 thousand. My mother went to their house to discuss this matter, and they agreed verbally. When I finally wanted to get the money, my boyfriend still felt that the pressure of repaying the loan was too great and did not take it out.

You don't have to buy that house. I just can't figure out where they get their confidence and how they are so car-scrapping when they have no money. My mother is worried that my boyfriend dumped me during graduate school. I am too old to find a new home, but I'm sure he won't change his mind. But I can't accept that their family doesn't consider me, only their son; And my boyfriend's previous promises can't be fulfilled, and now he helps his parents persuade me.

I asked him: if you put aside his parents' factors, would you like to get a license with me next year? He said yes. In fact, I also know that I asked silly questions. If he says he doesn't want to, won't he split up?

I don't know now, should I give up this moment because of future accidents?

Source of the problem | Douban Group

Song and Yuan Dynasties

You don't need to ask anyone for advice, you already have the answer.

"

In the third year, you accumulated quarrels over trifles, belittled his friends (the essence is that you are not satisfied with him) and broke up. At that time, you "retained". Now it's such a mess, you come to ask if you want to "give up" Language is so magical that the choice of words has long exposed your inner tendency. These two different words are actually your hints or hints to yourself.

So what the shopkeeper wants to tell you is that you don't need to ask anyone for advice. You already have the answer-give up.

Let's talk about the relationship from breaking up to getting back together to talking about marriage, which seems to be a process that is becoming more and more diluted. He promised to marry you, and you quickly agreed, "reluctantly" just because you were not satisfied that the wedding might be postponed? When someone gets married, they will get married? The shopkeeper is a little confused about the god logic inside.

Back to reality again. His family has no money, and the family is not in a hurry to get married. The concessions of both sides are extremely limited. You are very concerned about his parents' attitude towards you and are worried that they will affect your boyfriend's choice. Now he is also helping his family to persuade you. You are quite uncertain about the future-the "unexpected" future has not happened, and your words have once again exposed your heart. In fact, you don't believe his promise that much. You believe that he can't get rid of his parents, and you can't get rid of your troubles.

You have made so many compromises with your family that others think you are just trying to get a certificate. Does it feel so good? People are so suitable? Why do you insist on his not getting married? Why are you in such a hurry to get married? Don't be paranoid.

"

Y

All you need may be an apology from him to make you feel comfortable and give you a step down.

"

Subject, you don't really think that your boyfriend's family postponed the wedding because they listened to the fortune-telling results, do you? Nowadays, people go to fortune telling, either to get psychological hints to strengthen their inner choices or as an excuse to hide their true thoughts. So what are he and his family thinking? Have you made it clear?

The shopkeeper guessed from your expression that you should work; And your boyfriend graduated from college one year later than you, and now he has to study for a few more years to succeed in the postgraduate entrance examination. The learning experience in the new year will bring many variables to the future. The type of work, income level and even living place after graduation may be different from now, and these are exactly the important factors that two people must consider and negotiate before they get married. Wait until the year he graduated, and then talk about marriage when these things are settled, instead of the "painting cake" that is still pending now-this is probably their real idea.

So, what does buying a house mean? His family's economic ability is obviously not as good as yours. In fact, the big probability he is afraid of is not that the two of you will be under great pressure to repay the loan in the future, because your family can subsidize your small family at any time. He thinks he wants to take more responsibility in the financial burden of his family. If he buys a house now, he will have no job income in the next few years, so he can't realize this idea immediately. The owner thinks this is a bit stubborn and cute. And do you just think that their family is very angry, promise to pay and then go back on our word, just like your boyfriend's previous regret?

It seems that you really don't understand the current situation and thoughts of your boyfriend and his family. In fact, you don't think there is any risk in waiting for a few years, but you have been angry that your boyfriend married you without graduation. What you need may just be an apology that makes you feel comfortable and gives you a step down, so why not explicitly hint that when he gets the news, you can stop feeling bad and continue to maintain this relationship.