Sichuan dialect humorous jokes

Joke is a Chinese word, and the pinyin is xiào hua, which means something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following is a humorous piece of Sichuan dialect compiled by me for reference only. Welcome to reading.

Humorous jokes in Sichuan dialect:

Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together.

The sparrow said, what kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am your phoenix!

Sparrow: How can a phoenix be as black as your turtle son?

Crow: You know shovels. I'm a Phoenix sulfur-burning boiler.

Humorous jokes in Sichuan dialect II:

One day, when we were discussing how tall Yao Ming was, Sichuan PLMM, who usually likes to wrangle next to me, wrangled again: "How tall is Yao Ming? There is a man in our hometown who is much taller than him. "

"who?" We asked in unison.

"Leshan Giant Buddha", she said proudly.

Everyone fainted, and two glasses fell off. ...

A GG is not convinced: "Isn't it more than 70 meters ..."

But it was interrupted by this Sichuan MM: "Is it only more than 70 meters?"

Another man said confidently, "It's 7 1 meter."

So, you people don't even know some basic common sense. "The MM plausibly said," the somebody else sitting in 765438+0 meters, how do you stand up? "

Everyone fell to the ground. ...

"You let him stand up!" This GG is still unconvinced

"Well, people have been sitting on the river for more than 1000 years, and they have been arthritis for a long time. Try it for a few years if you have the ability! " They are completely speechless. ...

Sichuan dialect humor joke 3:

A teacher assigned a task to her students, making sentences with "pleading" and "demanding".

After the exercise book was handed in, one of them answered all his life: Yesterday my mother stewed a pot of pig's trotters. When it was not ripe, my father ate a piece and said, "Please don't move." Mom said, "I ask you to chew!" " "

Sichuan dialect humor joke 4:

The plane shook violently. Stewardess: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is always something wrong with the plane. Two engines are broken. We may be late.

"Passenger:" Is there a problem? If all four engines are broken, we can't spend the night in the sky.

Sichuan dialect humor joke five:

There are many people on the plane. Some people are carrying snakeskin bags, some people are carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector is sweating: "You have to carry a backpack to make up the ticket. You are overweight and old." "Why? Last time, two sacks of potatoes made me too old. " Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette. Look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, these balls will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "

Sichuan dialect humor joke 6:

When he is with his sisters, he always likes to talk about their childhood. You can't talk about it. But don't be jealous of them. Who doesn't have brothers and sisters? When you recall your childhood with your brother or younger brother, don't you put your sister-in-law and sister-in-law in the same position?

Sometimes, his sisters even talk about an ex-girlfriend. Maybe they used to be "best friends". Be careful at this time, and don't be jealous and sulky easily. They are probably talking about these things unintentionally, even if they are intentional, they are also testing your understanding and your endurance. Humor stories, ancient and modern jokes, humorous stories and ancient and modern jokes.

If everyone has children, remember that your children will never be as smart and beautiful as their cousins. Hehe, if your aunt recommends you a brochure of a famous kindergarten, or copies a cookbook that can make your children smart, you should happily take it-even if you throw it into the trash can immediately after you get home.

If you have to argue about something, let your husband come forward. After all, he has dealt with her all his life. After the fight, she was still his sister. Blood is thicker than water.

My sister's favorite sentence: "Yes, you are brother and sister. Of course, you know him best. "

Sisters hate to hear: "Although you are brother and sister, you look very different."

Sichuan dialect humor joke 7:

CCTV reporter asked the bus fire survivors: Is there a hammer on the bus?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: Do you have a hammer? Why didn't you break the window?

Survivor: Mod! A hammer! A hammer!

Reporter: What? There are two hammers?

Survivor: Oh, there's a shovel!

Reporter: Shovel? That can also be used to smash windows!

Survivor: smash a hammer window!

Reporter: It's breaking a window, not a hammer. ...

Survivor: Oh, I'll tell you a hammer!

Reporter: I said the window!

Survivor: Hammer!

Reporter: What's in the car?

Survivor: There is a wool!

Reporter: Oh, no wonder it burns so fast!

Summary: Be sure to bring a hammer when you go out. If you don't have a hammer, you should get close to it. If you have a hammer, you should hold it tightly. If you have a hammer, you should be there.

Now, the hammer is gone, and people have a hammer.

Sichuan dialect humor joke 7:

One day, at the height of the national war, the guild leader came to the grassland front to boost morale. ...

The guild leader asked: What's the situation?

Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer beside the tent 20 meters ahead, but his accuracy is poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him?

The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one?

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