Middle-aged and elderly Buddhist youth

One day, my brother called me and mentioned that he had dinner with a brother recently. At the dinner party, the master elder brother's drinking capacity dropped, people became decadent and the pattern disappeared. After less than a few drinks, he started talking nonsense and complaining, and finally collapsed in his brother's car. In the middle of the night, my brother didn't have the phone number of the master elder brother's house, and he didn't know where to send him. He called several people's numbers, but they didn't reply. Suddenly my brother felt very helpless.

I understand that my brother's helplessness comes more from the collapse of faith. He has always admired this senior brother, and his Buddhist outlook on life has profoundly influenced his words, deeds and choices. But at this moment, he saw that his brother was so dissatisfied with his life, so confused and so helpless, and he was also confused.

Buddhism, a popular word in recent years, has spread all over the circle of friends and the internet. It is a life state and attitude of letting go, seeing through the world of mortals and living according to one's own way of life. 20 14 A Japanese magazine introduced "Buddhist men". As a cultural phenomenon, Buddhism has derived a series of words such as Buddhist youth, Buddhist men, Buddhist tourists, Buddhist students, Buddhist shopping, Buddhist love, Buddhist diet and so on.

I met this senior brother 15 years ago. At that time, he was 34. He is in his prime, well-read, and loves the afterlife, but he has a very good life. He likes to take every employee who has just graduated and talk about his views on life, all kinds of books he has read, his friends all over the world and the Buddhist scriptures he has pondered over and over again. His attitude towards life has deeply influenced a group of young people, especially those who are not particularly strong in themselves like me.

In his intermittent narrative, he restored a general life course. As the only boy in the family, there is a sister in the world and a sister in the world. His parents in the countryside devoted all their love and attention to him, and lived a life of mouth-to-mouth and clothes reaching out from an early age. Just learn from an early age. Perhaps the only expectation his parents have for him is good academic performance. Those who were admitted to Sun Yat-sen University of Medical Sciences in those years were serious scholars. After graduating from six years of study, the surgery assigned to the hospital is almost a holy place for all male western medicine students. But I don't know why, he was too childish to be as dedicated, hardworking and eye-catching as the director expected, so he was kicked out of surgery and entered a non-mainstream department. After entering the non-mainstream department, perhaps to resist this humiliating pain that cannot be respected, he began to read extensively, study Buddhist scriptures, write an autobiography and spend the rest of his life. It is in this karma that groups of newly graduated employees got to know him, listened to him, got to know him and affirmed him. Four years after graduation, I left this department, perhaps because I was busy with various chores, or because I felt that his attitude towards life was not suitable for me, so I gradually stopped listening to him. But what he said in those years is still vivid, as if it were yesterday.

He said that wealth is actually a kind of fate, and everyone only keeps it temporarily, and it is impossible to have it for a long time. When he was young, a master told him: You have money to spend, but no money to save. So, he believed this sentence and kept hinting at himself with it. The reality is that there is not much money, but there is a meal almost every night. When we first met him, he repeatedly mentioned the master's judgment. Once I was so angry that I threw my passbook in my wife's face because I disagreed with my wife about what car to buy. The two sides had a cold war 1 month. Hearing this, I still can't help laughing.

He has always felt that he has read a lot of books and read countless people, which is suitable for being a staff officer. In his imaginary world, he is the reincarnation of Zhuge Liang and the resurrection of Liu Bowen. When I first met him, my buddy who once shared a room with the director always wanted him to be alone. But after all, he is extremely lazy, afraid of trouble, and too Buddhist, and gradually becomes a dou that the director can't afford. I can only give up. Finally, I waited for a suitable opportunity. A fellow villager who usually plays well took office. He saw the dawn and tried to communicate in many ways. He hopes to help his fellow villagers with what he has learned over the years. The leader also thought about giving him a chance. However, his performance and reputation for many years are really worrying, and there is no reasonable and legal reason to use him after all.

In fact, we all vaguely know what men in this era have experienced. In that era of three-step massage and five-step health care, many things cannot be explained thoroughly, but they are also unavoidable facts. Qing people are not useless, they are indeed a minority. He often explains these phenomena with "color is empty, and empty is color" in Heart Sutra. In fact, no matter how reasonable this behavior is, it will also break the heart of the woman who loves this man deeply. At most, the other side also avoids the problem, starts the defense mechanism to rationalize these behaviors, and finally gets farther and farther away from the real intimacy.

It should be said that eldest brother is a person who doesn't consider personal interests very much. When he goes out to eat, his friends ask him to do something, and when he comes back, he acts as an intermediary to help others. However, due to the limited position, there are many trivial things. Plus, people who ask for help don't pay any price and don't know how to cherish it. Sometimes there is not even a simple thank you. Over time, my heart cooled, I didn't want to have it, and I saw through it.

He also had his first love, lived together for two years, almost got married, and later broke up because of small things. Later, I got married with a colleague. My wife graduated from technical secondary school. The goal of finding a husband is to find a college student and allow her not to do housework. His request is that his wife should not interfere with all his friends. He likes to go back when he drinks, and he likes to deal with no one. So, deal. Later, I gave birth to a daughter. When the daughter was born, her grandparents took her with them, and the old man did all the housework. At ordinary times, each has its own life circle, each works at night, and each arranges life and entertainment.

I can understand the mentality of the master elder brother. He spent most of his life in Buddhism, only to find himself a man in the world of mortals. It turns out that he still cares about so many things that he can't let go of anything. I feel that my life is over half, and I have long been used to it. I have no courage, no fighting spirit and no strength to pursue these things. I can't let go, but I can't catch it, which condenses into a strong sense of unwillingness and frustration. This is pain.

In recent years, every time I eat and drink with him, I can obviously feel his dissatisfaction and anger with life, and I have a deep helplessness and loss. At the age of 50, looking around, some fair-weather friends who used to sing every night have already lived in other places, some have died of illness, and some have changed their temperament and started to live in seclusion. More and more people began to take thermos cups, drink Lycium barbarum water, make Baduanjin and do all kinds of health care. In the past two years, he had a whim to have a second child, and joked with us that he would raise money to raise a second child, so that everyone in this group of friends would send cans of milk powder and diapers to raise children. As a result, I tossed twice in the second trimester, hurting my heart and my wife's body, and gradually let go of this idea, but I still felt his strong helplessness.

The so-called connection is essentially the equivalence and exchange of resources, which is mutually beneficial. People on the 20th floor only become friends with people on the 20th floor. It is impossible for people on the 20th floor to become friends and close friends with people on the 3rd floor. Even if we meet at a dinner party by chance, we will take a look at each other's value, and it is impossible to decide at this moment whether we are on the same floor at a glance.

For middle-aged people who are physically and mentally healthy, emotion and color are still two hurdles. The meaning of life is to be yourself. The body is far more honest than the mind. Whoever the body wants to approach is ahead of the mind and thinking. When there is too much separation between conscious and subconscious content, it is easy to split people. This is also the fundamental reason why many people know so much and still can't live a good life.

A younger brother who graduated for one year complained that he felt very capable, but the directors seemed to fail to see his ability and found a platform to give full play to it. In fact, knowing what you want is the most important thing in everyone's life, especially men. What's your goal? If your goal is to become a rich man with an annual income of 1 10,000, then don't waste time and leave the hospital as soon as possible. Most hospitals in China cannot give such treatment to employees who graduate within 10 years. If you go into sales or start your own business, there may be a glimmer of hope.

If your goal is to become an excellent orthopedic surgeon, there is no better platform than our hospital. Our monthly operation volume has exceeded the annual operation volume of many big hospitals. You can try your best to get the chance of surgery. Just graduated for three years, you can take the initiative to help your superior doctor operate without asking for anything in return. As long as you are diligent, eye-catching and responsible enough to perform 500 operations a year, you will soon grow into a top surgeon.

If you are determined to live a Buddhist life when you are young, you must be willing to give up everything, especially material needs. The so-called habit is extremely simple unless it is taught by parents at an early age. Otherwise, the high probability event, Buddhism is just an avoidance of life's unsatisfactory, and a rationalization of the age choice that should be fully struggled. The people around you are a mirror for you. If the person you attract is not a Buddhist, you can see your own non-Buddhist.

Between your twenties and thirties, you need more experience, more thinking and more meditation. Slowly, you will know what you really want, what you are good at and what fields you are engaged in, which is beneficial to others and yourself. If a person knows where he wants to go, he can go in that direction through bit by bit efforts, and it is only a matter of time before he gets there. The compound interest of time is worse than the atomic bomb. Many problems will become big problems after fermentation over time, and many abilities will accumulate into irreplaceable skills after compound interest over time.

As for how to be seen by others, it is actually a very simple matter. You have to shine, you have to be different from others. For example, in the first year of standardized training for residents, you stay in the operating room until 10 o'clock every night, trying to do everything possible to ensure that more than 100 medical staff in the entire operating room know you, talk about you and spread you. If a person is really capable, he is not afraid of not being seen by others.

Many excellent qualities are actually reflected in daily work and life. Courage, diligence, hard work, carefulness, responsibility, eye-catching, and keeping promises are all excellent qualities that are highly respected. On the contrary, laziness, weakness, carelessness, contempt, selfishness and care are all personality weaknesses that restrict a person's development. How to cultivate excellent quality and overcome personality weakness is everyone's life topic. No one is perfect, and excellent people constantly reflect and practice in the acquired life experience, and gradually cultivate these excellent qualities. There are a lot of expositions and concrete methods to cultivate excellent qualities and overcome personality weaknesses in Autobiography of Franklin and Letters from Zeng Guofan. Read more books, think more and practice more when you are young.

I don't know when I began to have doubts about people who pursue Buddhism. The Buddhist scriptures say that you can't let go until you have experienced it. Prince Siddhartha was born in the royal family after years of practice. Before the age of 20, he enjoyed the money, power, sex and interests at the top of the pyramid. After five passes, he can really let go and realize the truth instead of living in this upside-down world.

Perhaps only in every stage of life, every opportunity has been worked hard and won, and it is not easy to leave regrets. And going all out requires a person's absolute self-discipline. Even if it's time to go to bed, get up early and go on a diet, it takes a certain amount of willpower to do such a simple thing. When I first met my eldest brother, he was only 34 years old, but if he can be lazy, he will be lazy and let the younger one do it, even if the director wants to train him as an heir. Later, similar opportunities were missed because he was not diligent enough to concentrate.

His extensive reading and practice of Buddhist scriptures is only scattered and fragmented knowledge as a chat resource for young people. After all, it did not form an effective system output and disappeared in the years. On the surface, this is also a Buddhist school. In fact, it is because I am too lazy to reflect on my lifestyle and work style, to consult materials, to study deeply, to consume my mind, and to start writing. Then I comforted myself over and over again that I was a Buddhist and was satisfied with three meals a night, one porridge and one soup. If I am really satisfied, I will forget it, but when I look back on these years, I find a lot of helplessness and unwillingness.

Up to now, I still dare not say that some lives must be good and some lives must be bad. The life of Buddhism must be based on the pursuit of practice, the real Buddhism based on separation, not the fake Buddhism based on escaping from reality and problems. The criterion for judging is very simple, that is, whether the person who is with you is also a true Buddha. If the other person is not, you can basically see your own fake Buddha. After all, people are social groups. You think you are a Buddhist, but do people around you allow you to be a Buddhist? Do you think you are free and easy, and the surrounding environment allows you to be free and easy? If you don't hear your innermost voice, what's the reason to ask others to hear it? Whether it is a real Buddha or a fake Buddha, a balanced life is worth pursuing by everyone. Just like the college entrance examination, partial subjects are always taboo. Wealth, status, health, family, self and other different dimensions do not need to be prominent in every dimension, but they need to be balanced.

Only in this article, I summarize my feelings and thoughts on Buddhism for many years. Only experience can let go. If you haven't, you are not qualified to talk about letting go, because this kind of letting go is just a fantasy and can't stand the test of reality.