What are some funny but true events in history?

Liu Ganzhen, the oldest and most mysterious old man in China, calls himself Emperor Qianlong. He has lived for more than 300 years, mastered billions of Qing royal assets, and is in urgent need of fund activation. He cooperated with Wan Jianmin, another disciple who claimed to be a financial tycoon Soros, and finally succeeded in defrauding a rich woman of more than 40 million yuan.

The victim Zheng Moumou, a billionaire, plans to open a bank because he can't spend more money and wants to make more money. She met 55-year-old Wan Jianmin, a greasy old man with a high school education, bragging and unable to pay taxes.

Wan Jianmin: Sister, I graduated from Jiangxi University of Finance and Economics and am a close disciple of Soros, an international financial tycoon. You never have to pay for dinner with Soros. My brother is Soros's wife, and she knows all about foreign financial systems!

Zheng Moumou was excited: Can you help me open a bank to make money?

Wan Jianmin: Sister, you underestimate me! Brother, you said, I participated in the Vietnam War, served as the director of XX city, XX province, helped the country fight the financial war, and knew the leaders of many countries and armies. I don't talk to him about ordinary people.

Zheng Moumou: Brother, please help me!

Wan Jianmin: Nothing! I'll introduce you to someone, but you must keep a secret!

Zheng Moumou: Who is it?

Wan Jianmin: Emperor Qianlong!

Zheng Moumou: Which Emperor Qianlong?

Wan Moumou: Who else is Emperor Qianlong, Emperor Hongli of Aisingiorro in the Qing Dynasty?

"Emperor Qianlong" Liu Ganzhen appeared smartly.

Ahem, I am Emperor Qianlong of the Qing Dynasty. I took the elixir of life and lived for over 300 years. I climbed to the tenth floor effortlessly. ...

Zheng Moumou: It turned out to be Emperor Qianlong! But can you help me make money?

Liu Ganzhen: That is a must! I hold the huge assets of the Qing royal family. All the assets of Qing are mine. I'm not afraid to scare you when I say it-at least more than 300 billion dollars.

Zheng Moumou: Oh, my God! Get out of here! /Really?

Liu Ganzhen: You don't believe me? However, these assets have been frozen, and you need to find someone to put in the start-up funds. Let me unfreeze the royal assets, and you can get several times or even dozens of times of income.

Zheng Moumou: No problem! How much will it cost?

Wan Jianmin: Sister, I estimate it will be at least several million!

Zheng Moumou: Nothing, sister. I'll transfer money to you, first transfer 2.22 million!

Liu Ganzhen: Sister is so happy! I won't treat you badly!

A few days later ...

Wan Jianmin: Sister, I have inside information. There is a new financial product coming soon. Most people don't understand. It's called "CD list" Double your monthly income, and your income will increase 10 times in one year! I won't talk to him about ordinary people!

Zheng Moumou: Brother and sister believe you! Give me 1 10,000 first, it has been transferred!

Wan Jianmin: Well done! Brother Xin is right!

……

Zheng Moumou: Brother, give me another 4 million yuan! It's moved!

……

Zheng Moumou: Brother, give me another 5 million yuan! It's moved!

……

A few days later ...

Wan Jianmin: Sister, doesn't your Lao Wang despise the land in Shenzhen? Emperor Qianlong personally came forward, and this matter has been decided. You transferred the account of100000 to me, and the land will soon be yours. Emperor Qianlong only needs to start the capital.

Zheng moumou: ok! It's moved!

A few days later ...

Zheng's husband Wang: Wife, all the money on your card is gone! Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what?

Zheng Moumou: What a fuss! I invested all of it and soon doubled it. We made a lot of money!

Wang: Hey! Investment? What kind of investment can you invest more than 30 million?

Zheng Moumou: Shh! I don't talk to him about ordinary people. I have met Soros's disciples and Emperor Qianlong. My family made a fortune this time!

W: What? Emperor Qianlong? Are you out of your mind? Are you lost in the Qing Dynasty drama? ! Gan Long has been dead for many years!

Zheng Moumou: Nonsense! I saw it with my own eyes! They took the elixir of life and lived well!

Wang: It's over! You've been cheated! The news has long been exposed, and the thawing of "China royal assets" and "China national assets" is a complete scam! ! Call the police!

In recent years, similar scams such as impersonating a princess of the Qing Dynasty and unfreezing "China royal assets" and "China national assets" are common. It's ridiculous that someone should go to the file for such a clumsy scam, and even laugh his teeth off, but it did happen in modern society. We have to be reminded that we must be vigilant and charge our IQ in time.

In 1930s, a university professor was possessed and studied how to bring people back to life. He pays attention to the dead. He experimented with corpses, put them on the seesaw and injected them with various resuscitation drugs.

He also thought of the condemned man. He persuaded a criminal who was going to the execution ground to take part in his experiment. The professor was eager to try, but in the end, the local court stopped his behavior. The local court said, what if the condemned man is really saved by then? Set him free?

In the 1960s, another American professor did not study resurrection, but began to study the sexual behavior of turkeys, probably because there was a festival to eat turkeys every year, which made the professor interested in turkeys.

He will experiment with a female turkey model and a male turkey. He will separate the female turkey's body, leaving only a chicken head, and the male turkey will still be in high spirits. The professor concluded that turkeys are interested in every part of their companions.

What other funny events do you know? Welcome to share your message below.

After reading what everyone wrote, I suddenly remembered a news I saw a long time ago! Share it with you here!

Li Chengfu Uprising

The hero of this story is Li Chengfu, a native of Nanyang, Henan. After graduating from high school, I went back to my hometown to farm because I couldn't find a suitable job! But he was unwilling to be a poor farmer and wanted to be a master, so he began to learn the art of Feng Shui and thought it was magic!

At that time, the countryside was superstitious. Some villagers saw that Li Chengfu knew some geomantic omen, so they asked him to help look at the fields (cemeteries). I accidentally came to a place called Old Man Cang and found a site in the late Ming Dynasty. There is a stone tablet on the site, which is engraved with the inscription "Wanli Reconstruction".

This inscription inspired him, and he felt that he could rebuild the country, become a person and stop suffering, so he began to prepare for the uprising!

Li Chengfu himself was surnamed Li, so he claimed to be a descendant and publicized the uprising among the masses. At first, it didn't work very well. Later, he used high officials and generous salaries to develop members. For example, if the uprising was successful, you became a prime minister and you became a general. After this village, there is no such shop! The villagers are a little afraid to believe it, and the effect will come out!

1990 At the beginning of the first month, everything was ready in Li Chengfu, so Li Chengfu officially established the "Wanshun Kingdom" and made old Man Cang (the original cemetery) its capital. But after the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), Li Chengfu was not in a hurry to seize power, but waited for the opportunity to expand his team! What a wily man!

He put forward the slogan of "seizing political power and stabilizing the world", which promoted the revival of the Tang Dynasty among the people. In a few short years, Li Chengfu has grown to 65,438+05 members and 8 mercenaries! (Seven of them are leaders).

At this time, Li Chengfu felt that his strength was strong enough, so he began to plan the date uprising. Li Chengfu checked the old almanac and thought that "leap seven does not leap eight, leap eight kills one knife", which should be1an uprising in the capital old Man Cang in August, 995, hoping that the countryside would surround the city, unify the whole country, and then move the capital to Xi 'an, the old capital!

Everything is ready and Li Chengfu is waiting for that day. Unfortunately, the weather waits for no one. When he began to repair the palace, the census found this. The local police then learned about it in the crowd. The police attached great importance to it, specially formed a task force to solve the case and sent undercover to find out the truth. When they learned that Li Chengfu would hold an uprising in August 1995, the police thought it should be stopped quickly, so they sent three policemen to arrest them. Li Chengfu and his gang were completely annihilated by these three police regiments before 1995!

Do you think this is over? Actually, Li Chengfu's son inherited his father's ideas after he was arrested in Li Chengfu, but it was not long before he was wiped out by several policemen. Father and son's dream of rebuilding Datang was completely shattered! This matter has come to an end completely!

Let me introduce you to some super funny things that happened during the Cold War. The two sides involved are the United States and the Soviet Union, which are vying for global hegemony. The truth of the matter has probably been shrouded in the fog of history, and you need to judge for yourself.

Whose toilet is more advanced?

Khrushchev visited the United States for the first time, suffered from abdominal cramps and went to the American toilet. After squatting down to solve the problem, I found that the toilet will automatically spray water. After spraying, the other hand popped out of the door next to the toilet and cleaned it carefully. Khrushchev exclaimed in surprise that the United States crushed the Soviet Union in the field of personal hygiene. This is absolutely impossible. After Khrushchev returned to China, he ordered outstanding Soviet engineers to develop more advanced automatic toilets.

Later, when Kennedy visited the Soviet Union, the impatient American president decided to humiliate the Soviet Union and took time to go to the Soviet toilet. He found that the toilet in the Soviet Union would also extend a hand, which was more flexible and fit. So Kennedy took pains to sit down again and again, and finally an English sentence with a strong Russian accent came out from under the toilet: Is it over?

Who stinks more, horse manure or cow dung?

Kennedy and Khrushchev are both straightforward people, and their private communication doesn't care about any diplomatic rhetoric. Just after the Cuban missile crisis ended, the Soviet Union took the initiative to compromise in this dispute because of its weak strength, and Khrushchev lost face. Later, Khrushchev invited Kennedy to visit the Soviet Union to a great extent, nominally to avoid the outbreak of all-out nuclear war and strengthen communication.

After Kennedy came to the Soviet Union, he visited the famous Kremlin as usual, went to restaurants with a history of hundreds of years, and looked at the dazzling array of silver tableware, but said out of place: The taste here is a bit pedantic. Khrushchev was unhappy. He said that knowing that Kennedy is a cowboy smells better than horse manure, which is the worst thing in the world. Kennedy knew that Khrushchev was a farmer and worked as a dairy farmer, so he retorted: No, the most difficult thing to ask in the world is cow dung. This is the famous "kitchen debate".

There are many interesting things in history. List one or two first.

The first story, Kong Rong, is well known. After all, it is in the San Zi Jing. You can make pears at the age of four. Kong Rong has two sons. The eldest son is six and the youngest son is five. One day, Kong Rong was taking a lunch break when his youngest son stole Kong Rong's wine.

The eldest son said to the younger son, why don't you salute before drinking? The youngest son replied: this wine is stolen, of course, there is no need to salute.

In the second story, Zhong You has two sons. The eldest son is called Yu Zhong, and the youngest son is called Zhong Hui. Naturally, Zhong You is famous, and so are his two sons. When they were teenagers, Cao Pi also heard about them, so he said to Zhong You, "Your two sons have heard great things. Let them meet me.

Yu Zhong and Zhong Hui will go to see Xelloss together. Yu Zhong's face was covered with sweat. Cao Pi asked, "Why are you sweating?" ? Yu Zhong replied: I was afraid because of the war, and my sweat naturally came out. Seeing that Zhong Hui had no sweat on his face, Cao Pi asked, Then why don't you sweat? Zhong Hui said: I am shivering all over, so I dare not sweat.

In the third story, we know that Zhong Hui and Wargo destroyed Shu, but Wargo stuttered a little, saying "Mourning" every time he spoke. One day, Si Mazhao joked with Wargo and said, "You've been saying' alas'. How many Ai's are there? Wargo replied, "Feng Feng", actually there is only one Feng.

In the fourth story, RoyceWong is one of the seven sons of Jian 'an, and Cao Pi is his good friend. RoyceWong loved listening to donkeys. At RoyceWong's funeral, xelloss also attended. He said to his friends who usually play together: RoyceWong likes listening to donkeys barking best. Everyone learned to send him a donkey bark, so everyone who came to RoyceWong's funeral learned to bark.

Share a story about the elixir of life!

Legend has it that Peng Zu lived for more than 800 years and taught the secret recipe of immortality to Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty. The secret recipe is to eat a kind of treasure called "manna" frequently. So this kind of thing became the treasure of feudal rulers. They all think it is a "holy medicine" to prolong life. It is as thick as fat and as sweet as candy, and everyone can live 800 years after eating it.

Therefore, the emperor's dream is called "Tianjiu" and "God will". Some emperors also used manna to name their titles, such as Emperor Xuan Di and Fu Jian. As soon as they heard that it was missing, they immediately changed their titles. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty built a towering dew tray for this purpose, and similar things were also built by Emperor Qing Qianlong, and they are still preserved today.

So, does manna really have this magical effect?

The answer is: not only ineffective, but also ridiculous. Why? In fact, the nectar, known as "the essence of the gods and the grace of the benevolent", is just the excrement of aphids.

In fact, the mystery of manna has long been discovered in ancient times. Du Gao, a scholar in Ming Dynasty, was the first person to reveal this secret. He said: "Where there are many insects, there will be more dew under the leaves. It is sweet, but it is insect urine." The nectar secreted by aphids is commonly known as aphid honey. According to modern chemical analysis, it contains more invert sugar, sucrose, pine nut sugar and so on. Carbohydrate accounts for about 70%, with a small amount of dextrin and protein. This nectar has a certain nourishing effect, but if it can prolong life, it can only be said to be a beautiful fantasy. Moreover, aphid honey attracts insects, breeds bacteria and harms crops.

Feudal emperors regarded the excrement of aphids as a godsend, and it was ridiculous to think about it day and night.

A few days ago, former US President George W. Bush passed away. Besides, George W. Bush was almost cooked by the Japanese.

That was during World War II. George H.W. Bush was an American pilot. He drove a bomber to deliver bombs to the Japanese army.

1September, 944, George H.W. Bush took off from an aircraft carrier to carry out a routine bombing mission. At that time, Bush was only twenty years old. It is speculated that he may be the youngest naval flight officer in the United States and the last president of the United States to participate in World War II. Now he's dead, that's all.

Let's say he took off this time to bomb the father island of Ogasawara Islands, which is a communication stronghold of the Japanese army. Bush's task is to destroy the radio tower on the island.

Upon arrival, the air defense on the island was very tight and the artillery fire was extremely dense. Soon, the flying formation was hit hard. Bush hit the radio tower with a plane that had already fired, and then opened the hatch to skydive. After falling into the sea, it was sent to the mother island by the tide.

The father island is in the hands of the Japanese. If you stay on the island, you must be a prisoner. Therefore, Bush decided to swim back from the sea. At this time, he happened to find a life raft dropped by the US Navy, and he swam in the opposite direction to his father island.

This experience left a deep memory in Bush's mind. He once felt desperate and wrote a farewell letter to his wife Barbara. But at this moment, he touched one of his submarines and survived.

In this regard, he believes that his rebirth must be an act of god and he will definitely achieve something in the future. Perhaps Bush's presidential dream came from a raft.

Later, I learned that he escaped from life and avoided becoming a Japanese cuisine. At that time, all the American soldiers who ran umbrellas together, except him, became prisoners. After being arrested, these American soldiers were dismembered by Japanese surgeons and cooked as food.

The commander of the father island is called Lihua Fangfu, who likes to make hot pot on earth best. Of course, this is not funny, but scary. But the latter thing is a bit funny.

1990, George W. Bush visited Japan, and the Japanese Prime Minister invited him to dinner. He was served the most famous sashimi in Japan. I don't know if Bush didn't like it, or it suddenly occurred to me that he was almost made into pork slices and hotpot by the Japanese. He couldn't help it, but he spit it out, and he was spitting at the Japanese Prime Minister.

In the fifteenth year of Kaiyuan, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty prepared to worship Mount Tai, and Du Feng, the county magistrate of Licheng, qi zhou, wanted to show his face in front of the emperor.

This human brain circuit is very strange: the emperor's car will definitely be crowded when it passes here. Many people are bound to have accidents. As a result, dozens of coffins were made and put in the palace.

I suggest coming down to inspect the work. When I saw these coffins, I was furious: it was a national event for the emperor to come to Mount Tai to meditate, and he prayed for peace in the world. What do you mean by making these coffins? Do you curse the holy line for its premature death and premature birth?

Someone sent someone to catch Du Feng, who was so scared that he hid under his wife's bed and lied that he had died of illness. After mediation, the matter is over.

Du Feng's son Du Zhong has more brain circuits than his father. At that time, Yanzhou joined the army, and his boss put him in charge of the grain and grass opened by the emperor's special car.

He and his father want to go together: everything should be prepared in advance, which can save time. First, he poured 2000 stones of millet and beans into a large pot and cooked them, then stored them in the cellar and sealed them while they were hot. In this way, Shengjia's horse material problem was "perfectly" solved. But who knows that the climate was hot at that time, and by the time the emperor's car came, 2,000 stone millet beans were already "smelly and out of control".

As a result, Du Zhongke was frightened. Instead of hiding under his mother's bed like his father, he was ready to commit suicide, but the way of suicide was quite special.

I ordered my entourage to buy half a liter of Pinellia ternata and cook it with mutton, ready to eat it and poison themselves. I didn't want to, but I put on a lot of weight instead of using my medicine.

Over time, without this father, this son would not have been born.

To tell a funny but true historical event, Ye, the governor of Guangdong Province in the Qing Dynasty during the Second Opium War, performed absolutely one.

After fifteen years as a scholar, he chose Jishi Shu and awarded it to the editor. In eighteen years, he served as the magistrate of Xing 'an, Shaanxi Province, and went through Yanping Road in Shanxi, Yandao Road in Jiangxi, provincial judges in Yunnan, political envoys in Hunan, Gansu and Guangdong provinces. Twenty-eight years, the governor of Guangdong. In the first year of Xianfeng, Luo Jing was defeated by Wu San, and the prince was added to protect him. In the second year, Ling, the leader of Luo Jing, was killed and made governor, governor of Guangdong and Guangxi, and minister of trade.

It can be said that Ye was an elite among the Qing officials at that time. As far as birth is concerned, he is the most authentic Confucian elite who was born in the imperial examination and read sage books. In terms of promotion, in 10, he did not jump 9 grades in a row and rose to the provincial level, which also included Ding You's 27-month observance. On merits and demerits, Pingluo mirrors Wu Sanhe and Ling Eighteen Rebels.

But it is such a traditional official of the Qing Dynasty who is extremely funny when dealing with the relations with countries such as Britain and France!

Before the war, the British refused to meet in the city several times, but it was very rare to meet in a warehouse by the river outside Guangzhou, because Ye felt that a mere minister could not be compared with a court official. In addition to this kind of "discrimination" full of Qing characteristics, the British side's request to amend the contract and other notes were also fooled by Ye with words. Later, this letter was deceived by Ye's delaying tactics and will be discussed after the expiration. The clip that Ye played to Xianfeng afterwards shows his pride in this skill: Ye didn't tell his words to death, but seemed to leave a thought for foreigners, so that they could always be fooled and shirked.

Ye Chenming dared to do this because he heard about the Crimean War that broke out at that time. But the news he got was actually a fiasco of the British side! Russia demanded reparations from the British side: "(Russian warships) all came to Hong Kong and demanded ex-servicemen's fees (reparations) from the British." So he "cleverly" linked this matter with the British's request to enter the city, thinking that he understood the reason why foreigners wanted to enter the city: in his imagination, the British were struggling to enter the city because they owed more than 70 million reparations to the Russians. The British plan to collect the money in Guangzhou, so they have to go to the city to get compensation!

As for the uprising of Indian soldiers at that time, it was suppressed by the British army. The information obtained by Ye once again surprised people: "Bangladesh, an Iraqi (British) country, rebelled and its army (British) was defeated." Even if the British army was defeated, the message he got was "the whole army was wiped out", not only the whole army was wiped out, but even "a prince was killed or a horse was killed."

Therefore, Ye Chenming regards the sinister situation of such a big country that is ready to start work or has already started work as a state in which Britain is in a sinister situation, France is neutral, and Russia forces Britain to pay its debts. He concluded that it was absolutely impossible for Britain to carry out large-scale military intervention in Guangdong. Small-scale military intervention will only involve troops stationed in Hong Kong. Then in the case of insufficient strength and stamina, as long as we play another game with the British, victory seems to be in sight.

Results On February 28th, 1856, 18, the British and French armies launched an attack. At this time, the soldiers and brave officials fled, and Ye was still calmly processing documents in the department, saying, "Just stay for a while, and everything will pass." He thought it was the "dying struggle" of outsiders, and he avoided entering the old city after so-called "persuasion". The next day, the British and French allied forces captured Guangzhou. During this period, Ye's subordinate Guangzhou General Fengtian and Guangdong Governor avoided Ye and issued a notice in an attempt to "make peace with the two countries". Ye's attitude is worth pondering, and there is no objection. He just insists on "not going to the city" and gives foreigners some money at most.

6543810.5, British and French forces searched Guangzhou yamen, captured Ye and sent him to the warship. Until now, he still maintains the style and power of an imperial envoy, ready to negotiate with British and French envoys (wishful thinking, of course). Later, he was sent to India to perform like a monkey, calling himself "Su Wu at sea" and died in India (saying that he couldn't get used to exotic foods such as curry)

At that time, people summarized and ridiculed Ye's actions during this period: "No war and no peace, no defense and no death, no surrender and no separation, and the ambition of all the ministers is rare in ancient times."

Tell me about the strangest and funniest rebellion in history! You don't know.

Rebellion is a big deal. Even if there is no careful plan, there must be a slogan and a retreat. It's impossible to live well, pat your ass and rebel-it's true.

This happened in the period, and the protagonist was Sue.

Shao Zhang is a junior civil servant. In the court of the Tang Dynasty, there was an institution specialized in printing and dyeing fabrics, and Shao Zhang was one of the slaves. To tell the truth, my life is still good.

However, he has a good friend named Sue. This is a fortune teller, an ideal and ambitious fortune teller. However, there are many fortune tellers in the world, and it is good to make a living from this. Few people are thinking about this.

Sue is different, he doesn't want to live in mediocrity! So he began to dig a hole for his good friend Shao Zhang.

Sue's pit is a bit big. He thinks that if Shao Zhang becomes emperor, he can't be a big official himself? What a wonderful brain circuit! I want to be the emperor himself! )

In a word, Sue found it and mysteriously said, "Lao Zhang! Something big happened. "

Shao Zhang's face was covered. She just got up in the morning and didn't brush her teeth or wash her face. Don't scare me!

Sue said to him, "I was idle last night, so I made a divination for you. As a result, the diviner said that he could sit on the throne of the emperor! And I will sit opposite you, and the two of us will enjoy the royal banquet together! "

If this were an ordinary person, a basin of washing water would be poured directly on Sue's head! It is all wet to say such a thing. However, there seems to be a strange brain circuit, which is a perfect match with Sue.

Shao Zhang was very interested, especially because he frequented the palace and knew that the emperor had been "doing nothing" recently.

(polo)

Tang Jingzong likes playing polo very much. He often plays games in the palace and takes part in it himself. At the end of the competition, I also gave an award and a gift with great interest. Obviously, he is addicted to playing polo.

According to Sue, since the emperor has nothing to do, it is reasonable to organize several people to rebel!

So, they really made decent preparations and really asked a hundred people to help! What do these people think? I don't know if this is treason ...)

In a word, on the day of rebellion, Shao Zhang hid his usual weapons and personnel in a big car with grass and came to the palace gate happily humming a tune. Shao Zhang was a little carried away at this time, probably because he felt that he would soon become an emperor. He was very excited.

However, the guards in the palace are still normal. The cart creaked all the way, as if it contained a lot of goods! It is necessary to check.

When Zhang Shao saw that the situation was not good, he drew a knife and killed the palace guard. Then, together with Sue, he led his brothers into the palace.

At this time, Tang Jingzong was still in serious polo training. He heard someone rebelled and was killed in the palace. Hurriedly took a bus to Zuo Jun for temporary shelter from the rain and looked at the situation.

What about Sue? Because I am familiar with the route, I easily came to the empty Qingsitang. Shao Zhang looked at the throne in front of him and the imperial meal that Tang Jingzong had not had time to finish on the table. He looked up and said with emotion, "I am the emperor!" "

So, sitting on the dragon chair, sitting opposite Sue, eating!

Sue is really ingenious. He really designed this scene. However, he seems to have forgotten. What to do after eating?

Right? What to do after eating? These people were lost in thought.

Shao Zhang finally understood, what rebellion, this is a big pit! Before the oil on his mouth was wiped clean, he called his brothers to run away ... it was too late. How could court guards and generals miss such a good opportunity? They came here one after another to kill thieves!

Soon, under the attack of the regular army, Su Zai's rebellion was suppressed and everyone was hacked to death.

The strangest and funniest rebellion in history is over. ...