The lines in Zhao Benshan's sketch Happy New Year?

Zhao Benshan's sketch "Happy New Year" has the following lines:

Gao Xiumin: Why are you so slow?

Zhao Benshan: How soon? I can still fly.

Gao Xiumin: Why didn't you know you were in a hurry? Our fish pond is about to expire, and the brother-in-law in charge is in a hurry. He wants to sign a contract, so why don't we talk to the person in charge?

Zhao Benshan: Now that we're here, it's no use talking!

Gao Xiumin: Let's fight for it to the end!

Zhao Benshan: You are too picky to win your New Year's Day. It's a shame to bring two assholes.

Gao Xiumin: If you want to rely on me, you shouldn't take any of them.

Zhao Benshan: What are you taking?

Gao Xiumin: Gifts are out of fashion now. People pay attention to emotional communication.

Zhao Benshan: What ditch?

Gao Xiumin: Use language. Say something nice.

Zhao Benshan: That's it. You let me play with the fish pond, and let me play with the language better.

Gao Xiumin: Compared with what?

Zhao Benshan: Blind pestle can't find the north at the South Pole. You can't separate your legs from practicing cerebral thrombosis. You can't see the beauty in cheongsam, so Pan Changjiang can't even kiss Zheng's mouth.

Gao Xiumin: I'm talking about you, you. It's no use doing the same thing. Listen, old man. Let's not talk about things when we enter the house. Let's put on our hats and say a few more words to celebrate the New Year. As long as the township head is happy, communication is almost the same.

Zhao Benshan: People in top hats give you pleasure?

Gao Xiumin: Well, don't mention his township head. Even if the president puts a top hat on him, he will be happy, Charles de Gaulle!

Zhao Benshan: Oh!

Gao Xiumin: Knock.

Zhao Benshan: Gee, I'm afraid to meet the leader!

Gao Xiumin: Remember, don't talk about anything before entering the house. Look me in the eye.

Zhao Benshan: Well, knock!

Fan Wei: Oh, back! Who are you?

Gao Xiumin: I'm your aunt.

Fan Wei: Auntie?

Gao Xiumin: Ah, we used to be friends. Xiaomi raised you, and your beard is full of stories. Do you remember?

Fan Wei: Which family do you come from?

Gao Xiumin: Laogaojia in the east, the first one that enters the door, three big tile houses, and my father.

Zhao Benshan: Nicknamed Tall Russian!

Fan Wei: Oh, what's this?

Gao Xiumin: He is my father.

Zhao Benshan: The tall Russian is my uncle. No, I am his father's father-in-law. No, his father is my father-in-law We were meant for each other.

Gao Xiumin: Township Head, if I were here, you would have to call him Uncle! Come and meet.

Zhao Benshan: Happy New Year, Uncle?

Gao Xiumin: On the contrary, he called you an old uncle.

Zhao Benshan: Haha.

Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Fan Wei: Haha.

Zhao Benshan: Did you let me in?

Fan Wei: This old man?

Gao Xiumin: Come in, flight attendant. What are you still doing outside?

Fan Wei: Whose home is this?

Zhao Benshan: Sit down!

Fan Wei: Oh.

Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Zhao Benshan: Ha ha ha.

Gao Xiumin: Township Head, do you remember?

Fan Wei: Oh, I still don't remember.

Gao Xiumin: Did I see you off the day you went to middle school? When you left, I saw you off on the way. When you turned around, you waved to the villagers. At that time, my aunt was silent and tears fell.

Zhao Benshan: Do you have camel bells in your ears?

Gao Xiumin: Does this remind you of anything?

Fan Wei: Ah! I remember the lyrics, but you still don't remember them.

Gao Xiumin: No wonder you don't remember. You said I was in my thirties when you were in middle school, and I'm 50 this year.

Zhao Benshan: I'm 56.

Gao Xiumin: Who asked you?

Zhao Benshan: I'm 56 years old whether you ask me or not. I am a chicken. ......

Gao Xiumin: You said you wanted to talk about this man. Nowhere to see. We haven't seen each other for 20 years. You said you became a township head. Why go there to argue?

Fan Wei: I'm the head of the township. I have nothing to defend?

Zhao Benshan: What's it called? Fan Xiangchang was born to be an official. Have you forgotten? I chose you as the head of the township that year. Am I the representative of the village?

Fan Wei: Ah, yes, yes,

Zhao Benshan: I remember it rained in July that year. That guy has been crying from morning till noon, and the thunder is very loud, and the head of Fan Township was born.

Fan Wei: You didn't say I was struck by lightning, did you?

Gao Xiumin: Oh, township head, he didn't mean that. What he means is: thunder rumbles, and Fan leads the peasant revolution as the township head. ......

Zhao Benshan: Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Fan Wei: Hehehe, uncle, what are you talking about? This is ... If it's not you, there must be something,

Gao Xiumin: No, no, we have nothing to do. We are all little things. The head of the township said you had too much to do this year. How many good things have you done for our town? You said that from popularizing scientific farming to developing food projects, you will go to the bank today and go to the Science and Technology Commission tomorrow. You really broke your heart, your mouth and your body.

Zhao Benshan: I even carry water for widows! The whole town knows about it.

Fan Wei: Ah, that's all small things. Oh. ......

Gao Xiumin: It's also important. Wow, big deal. ......

Zhao Benshan: Major events are getting older every year. He didn't do it either, because of the return of Hong Kong, the flood control of the Three Gorges, the 15th National Congress, and President Jiang's visit to the United States.

Gao Xiumin: That's not right, he is responsible for releasing the animals ~

Zhao Benshan: Yes, when you lose your mind, we are all crazy!

Fan Wei: What's wrong with me?

Zhao Benshan: Cheer up,

Fan Wei: I'm telling you, you don't need to wear a top hat for me. Say what you want to say.

Zhao Benshan: He won't tell me.

Gao Xiumin: Nothing. The new year has arrived. I told your old uncle. You said that this Fan Xiangchang led our township so well in one year. On behalf of the grassroots, we have come to pay a New Year call to Fan, the township head.

Fan Wei: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Zhao Benshan: Happy New Year!

Gao Xiumin: We sincerely wish the township head good health, peace throughout the year, happiness as the East China Sea and longevity as the South Mountain.

Zhao Benshan: Live in our hearts forever.

Fan Wei: Hehe, no, you always use some inappropriate words. If you have something to say, if it's okay, hey, I'm leaving.

Zhao Benshan: What's wrong with me?

Gao Xiumin: Don't always follow me.

Zhao Benshan: I said it was boring.

Gao Xiumin: Why don't you just sit there and wait?

Zhao Benshan: Come on, let's go.

Gao Xiumin: Township Head, we have something to do.

Fan Wei: Look, I knew you must have something. Come on, tell me something.

Gao Xiumin: Well, your brother-in-law went to our house yesterday.

Fan Wei: What is he going to do?

Gao Xiumin: He gave us an ultimatum, saying that we were not allowed to keep turtles. If we didn't agree, we would fish out our illegitimate children and let us bleed.

Zhao Benshan: Well, township head, I'm telling you, hey, I don't know if it's good.

Fan Wei: Nothing, you go;

Zhao Benshan: Your brother-in-law has a bad influence on you, hee hee ... He's a little bossy ... hee hee ... I don't know, but he has a bad influence anyway. He went to my house that day. As soon as the guy came in, he told me, are the old lady and the old lady at home? Give me two assholes! The two of us were braised. I drank more than a kilo and had no place to listen to that.

Gao Xiumin: Oh, that guy boasted that he was negotiating to buy an aircraft carrier in Russia.

Zhao Benshan: Dump the fish pond quickly so that I can come back for training.

Fan Wei: You will always be the fish king Zhao Laonian, won't you?

Zhao Benshan: Yes, Your Majesty.

Fan Wei: I recognized you as soon as you came in.

Zhao Benshan: Mom, the township head recognized me.

Gao Xiumin: Township Head, this is either for us to ask or for us to guard this fish pond. Is it not due yet? Let's ask who the next issue is for.

Fan Wei: Oh, you will be informed by the next township head after the New Year.

Gao Xiumin: Next?

Zhao Benshan: Just tell me.

Fan Wei: Didn't you just finish the People's Congress? I am no longer the head of the township.

Gao Xiumin: Are you coming down?

Fan Wei: Ah! Coming down, hehehe!

Zhao Benshan: Mom, are you coming down? God, you said you were tired when you came down. This guy was leveled when he came down, so I don't have to be afraid of you. Oh, he fell.

Gao Xiumin: Can you get us some water? The sound is dry. This guy said that.

Fan Wei: OK, OK!

Gao Xiumin: Oh, my God, this guy is tired.

Zhao Benshan: Gee, this guy can't even breathe.

Fan Wei: Water!

Zhao Benshan: That's enough. Let's share it. No need.

Fan Wei: Hehe!

Zhao Benshan: Do you have a cigarette?

Fan Wei: Oh, sorry, I can't smoke!

Zhao Benshan: Then forget it.

Gao Xiumin: Oh, you're coming down?

Zhao Benshan: Well, insist on what? Corruption?

Fan Wei: Ah, that's what happened.

Gao Xiumin: Stop it. We don't care if you can come down. Today, the two of us came to know who the fish pond in our village was contracted to.

Fan Wei: I thought I said you would understand after the New Year.

Gao Xiumin: Ah, ah, ah, don't forget the New Year. Who can't read it? Now I understand. Needless to ask, it must be for your brother-in-law. You two teamed up to wrap it. I said three fat people.

Zhao Benshan: Sanpang?

Fan Wei: Ah-ah, my nickname is Sanfatso, haha!

Zhao Benshan: Oh, my nickname is Dog Residue.

Gao Xiumin: Three fat people, I'm not talking about you. As a fellow villager, you are really not interesting enough! You said that you had been a township head for so many years, and you made arrangements for your brother-in-law before you stepped down. Let the next leader say that you are a good man with both internal and external skills, instead of me saying that you are a fat man and a leading cadre like you.

Zhao Benshan: Hehe?

Gao Xiumin: It's right to roll you down, that's right.

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? That's too much. Why are you doing this? What you just said is different from what you are saying now. If people come down, you can say it is difficult to obey. I don't think so, do I? Since this big nephew has changed from a township head to a three-fat man, let's not give a stick to the head again, shall we? People need understanding and comfort most at this time, don't they? Who hasn't made some mistakes in his life? If you do something wrong, correct it and do it again.

Fan Wei: Huh?

Zhao Benshan: No, if you commit a crime, it's hard to correct it. If you correct it, it's hard to repeat it! Nothing! Well, my uncle communicated with you and I didn't eat either. Why don't we have two drinks?

Gao Xiumin: Cough!

Fan Wei: Ouch! Great! Quick, quick, get on the kang;

Zhao Benshan: Don't be like a man at this time when he is most empty.

Gao Xiumin: I said, why do you have such a broad mind?

Zhao Benshan: How can life be smooth sailing?

Gao Xiumin: The funding channels are blocked. Are you still in the mood to drink?

Zhao Benshan: Stay!

Gao Xiumin: Even if you give me Yunnan Baiyao now, you can't cure our mental trauma ~ Go home.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you do that?

Gao Xiumin: I told you to go home!

Zhao Benshan: I told you-stay! Beautiful? I can't control you, just sit still! Sit down. Oh! ..... What a wonderful thing? The earth has to revolve around you. Are you the sun? What's the use of saying those ozone atoms?

Gao Xiumin: Does his brother-in-law know how to raise fish?

Zhao Benshan: I will in my next life? Study! It's okay, fatty. You tell your brother-in-law what he can't do. You ask his uncle. He can't do anything else. This is definitely the meaning of fish farming. I told you you couldn't come down. You just have nothing to do. You raise fish. You are tired from being a housekeeper for a year. You're worried about getting angry. Then you wrote to tell you. You can't afford it! You raise fish! I am fifty or sixty thousand this year!

Gao Xiumin: Cough!

Zhao Benshan: If you cough, it costs 50,000 to 60,000 yuan. You don't have to put it there! Especially raising soft-shelled turtles is very profitable. I tell you, I'll give you two. After that, I should watch the water and master the feed. I prepare my own food completely! Love what you eat.

Fan Wei: Drink it!

Zhao Benshan: It's no good drinking it. Drink it. You give it a drink, and it doesn't eat distiller's grains!

Fan Wei: I said we cannot father drink!

Zhao Benshan: Huh? You and me, I thought you were filling the tortoise with wine! Hey, drink it!

(Phone rings)

Zhao Benshan: You did it!

Fan Wei: No, I can't drink those. Telephone call;

Zhao Benshan: I'll answer it. Who will do it? You did it. Mm-hmm. You drank it. I'll tell him. Who are you? Drink. Quit, don't fight here, raise fish, hey, if you say nothing else, you quit! Find-fan county magistrate-report for duty? You found the county magistrate, and you quit your job at the township head's house. It's no use telling me. He is looking for the county magistrate Fan. ...

Fan Wei: It's for me.

(The mountain fell to the ground)

Fan Wei: Hey! Hey! Nothing! It's okay. There is a guest here.

Zhao Benshan: Where are my shoes? After that, good news came from the delivery room, and people were promoted ... it's time! I told you I wouldn't let you come What about this time? I think it's killing you for your mouse to be your cat's escort to earn money!

Gao Xiumin: So you blame me?

Zhao Benshan: I don't blame you. Who do you blame? Did I just get on the kang?

Fan Wei: Yes,

Zhao Benshan: Have I been drinking?

Fan Wei: Yes,

Gao Xiumin: You ate other people's food!

Fan Wei: Yes!

Zhao Benshan: How can this work?

Fan Wei: We'll deal with it later!

Zhao Benshan: Ouch!

Gao Xiumin: What should we do?

Zhao Benshan: Go back!

Gao Xiumin: Then our turtle is still in the house, and there are baskets!

Zhao Benshan: What kind of turtle do you want?

Fan Wei: (takes out his shoes) Hey, here you are, here you are-

Zhao Benshan: This can be stewed. It should taste good after eating. Damn it!

Fan Wei: Hehe, put it on and don't catch cold! Aunt, come in!

Gao Xiumin: Well, we don't pack fish ponds.

Fan Wei: Come in!

Gao Xiumin: We really didn't pack the fish pond.

Fan Wei: Come in!

Gao Xiumin: We really don't pack. Now let's go back to the shack, peel off the turtle and bleed. There are no bags!

Fan Wei: Grandma, you are pushing me. To tell you the truth, you will continue to contract the next fish pond!

Gao Xiumin: No way, so you didn't tell me when I asked you in the house?

Fan Wei: Why don't I want to tell you this? You said my brother-in-law wanted to pack fish ponds. Is he the right material? I'm afraid I won't have enough to eat. I'm afraid I have to tell you that a year ago, when things came to light, he drank some wine at our house again. I'm tired of him! Aunt, I've been busy for a year, and I want to rest for a year! Auntie!

Gao Xiumin: Doesn't he have to tease you after the New Year?

Fan Wei: Who are you kidding? After the New Year, I went to work in the county, and there was a new leader in the village. Who is he going to fight?

Zhao Benshan: Yes, let's argue!

Fan Wei: Ha, that's right!

Gao Xiumin: Thank you very much.

Zhao Benshan: Good man.

Gao Xiumin: Thank you very much. Why don't you go to our house for dinner?

Fan Wei: No, no. Are you two relieved this time? Take everything. I have to report.

Gao Xiumin: Hey, stewardess, this is for you. Eat it!

Fan Wei: No, no, no, no. Bye, auntie!

Zhao Benshan: Goodbye, Uncle!