100 points for a few very, very funny jokes ~ ~ It's best to laugh till you get cramped ~ ~

A boy who was usually humiliated in the dormitory shouted in the middle of the night: "The tank is coming!" "According to the survey, this is really a talk in a dream. There is also a lesbian theory-a girl in the dormitory suddenly said in the middle of the night: "Two pieces of bread, two handsome boys, the bread has gone bad, and the handsome boy is gone ..."

A high school classmate, a GG, suddenly sat up in the middle of the night and shouted, "Look at me slapping you!" " "Then lie down and go back to sleep.

During my wife's weight loss (a common problem of most normal women), she suddenly shouted in the middle of the night: "I want to eat braised pork, I want to eat braised beef, I want to eat braised pork ribs!" " ! ! "I almost fell out of bed.

My high school classmate, during military training, grabbed his hair in the middle of the night and said, "It's over, I fell into the ditch ..."

I used to listen to my roommate tell me that in the middle of the night, he suddenly said, "My industrial and commercial password is …………………………………", but I didn't get a "yes" for a long time, which made the two buddies anxious. After hearing this, I was extremely cold ... I immediately went out and changed my password.

Life in the military camp at night is the most terrible! I remember once in the middle of the night, the monitor suddenly said, "You birds, gather for me urgently! ! ! "Then there was a commotion. Yes, we were all standing in front of the monitor, and he didn't respond. A bold person approaches, snoring ~ ~. #%-*! Damn it! ! !

I talk in my sleep almost every day. The stupidest sentence is: "Wife, I dare not ..." What is even more depressing is that my roommate heard me when I was on a business trip.

I remember chasing a girl and asking for her phone number. I was afraid of forgetting and kept nagging. I didn't expect to ramble in my dreams when I slept at night. As a result, my mother heard it and called the girl the next day. The girl who fucked me never talked to me again, depressed!

A classmate in our class was talking in his sleep during military training: "What's your name, Miss?" Then I changed my female voice and said, "My name is Xiaoli." People in the dormitory fainted on the spot.

"Big deal Lao tze up the hill to guerrilla war! ! ! "This is a diligent classmate in the dormitory next door who suddenly shouted in the middle of the night, which startled them. The next day, all the boys and girls in the class knew, except him. ...

When I was in a girls' school, a classmate who slept in my upper bunk suddenly sat up, raised his hands in the air and said, "Get off, get off, I want to blossom!" " "

A few days ago, my husband went to bed at night and suddenly woke me up and said, "Did you pick all the meat and eat it?" I said, "What?" He added, "You can eat all the lean meat." I said, "Are you dreaming?" He suddenly fell asleep with an ambiguous smile. When I asked him in the morning, he knew nothing!

During military training, we lived in bunk beds. One night when I was on duty while sleeping, I heard one of my classmates say, "Turn left!" " "Then I heard a voice, and that guy fell from the upper berth. ...

One day, the dormitory boss practiced CS crazily in the lower berth. Suddenly, the bunk shook violently. I saw the second child rolling around in the upper bunk, patting the wall and shouting, "I don't want it!" ! I don't want it! ! I don't want it! ! "Finally, plop, as if the paint had hit the wall, and a scream of" Ah "was honest. ...

When I was a freshman, my classmate got up in the middle of the night and just climbed halfway. The person sleeping opposite shouted, "Be careful". My classmate stayed on the ladder for a long time, only to find out later that it was the man talking in his sleep.

A college classmate: "I went to the moon! China! " -Like a patriot! ! !

We had a month's military training in the army, and our meals were poorly controlled every day. A buddy shouted in the middle of the night: "That piece of braised pork is mine, don't grab it!"

A classmate, who went cycling during the day, was still excited at night and then fell asleep. We play cards. After a while, the man said, "Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! Drive! ! ! "

Freshman, late at night! Everyone else is asleep, and I am playing computer alone. Suddenly I sat up and said calmly, "Then flowers are blooming …" I was shocked and asked, "What are you doing?" He fell down. After a while, he sat up again: "That's as sweet as honey ..."

I was still living in the dormitory when I was teaching (miserable ...). A new buddy talked in his sleep at night, gave a complete proof of geometry, and finally asked, "Do you understand?"

When I was in college, there was an upper berth where I talked in my sleep all night. After a while, nothing happened. The lower berth went on to say, "Say it again". About five minutes later, the upper berth began to speak in English again. Cold!

When I was young, I was afraid of ghosts and slept with my brother. Get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and suddenly hear my brother say, "If you don't obey, lie down and sell you to Henan!" " "I was too scared to talk to my brother for several days.

At that time, I sat up at night and enunciated such a philosophy clearly and calmly: "If a person's happiness is based on the suffering of others, then this happiness is more direct and exaggerated ..." After that, I woke up, but the sentence was still clearly in my mind, so I immediately took out my pen and wrote it down. ...