My husband is having an affair and is a rich woman. What should I do?

There is a Lei Jie on Huaihe Road, and Lei Jie has a little-known cafe called Roadshow.

That night is off-year, people come and go in the street, mostly in pairs, and there are active vendors, as lively as the market I have been to.

My friend made an appointment with Dr. Zhou for me, talking about deer.

The first time I walked into a coffee shop, I suddenly felt very unaccustomed. I haven't been to such a quiet place for too long, and I can't adapt at once. There are many compartments inside. Dr. Zhou arrived first and told me to sit down. I kept talking loudly and had to say hello to him in a low voice.

My friend said that Dr. Zhou is a good psychologist and the fee is reasonable. It took me a long time to agree to see him, and I didn't want to go to his clinic. I don't believe that I am ill, but there are too many knots in my heart, so I can't see the sunshine. Encouraged by my friends, I began to take this step.

Dr Zhou doesn't look like a man in his early fifties. Wearing casual household clothes, he looks younger than people in their forties around me, giving people the feeling of being an elite in this industry, which immediately dispelled my original concerns.

He told me directly, "We charge on time, so please get to the point."

"My husband is having an affair and is a rich woman. The woman also lent him hundreds of thousands to do the project. Now everyone knows that I am ambivalent. I don't know how to deal with this marriage. I don't want a divorce in my heart. " I said a knot in one's heart in one breath.

"Go on, how did you find out he was having an affair? What evidence is there? What action has been taken? " Doctor Zhou said.

"Last year, I went to the place where he worked, not far, more than two hours. After more than a month, he didn't live a married life with me. He always finds various reasons to push me away and not let me stay there. At that time, I felt that something was wrong with him, and there was definitely a ghost in my heart, but there was no obvious evidence, just suspicion. "

"Then how do you know? Is there direct evidence? "

"Later, it was August. I went to the provincial capital with him and asked him if he was having an affair when I came back. I asked him as a joke at that time. "

"Is also a doubt and temptation, mainly 1 I didn't pick up his video that night, so I went to the city the next day, anyway, I felt something was wrong. I asked him, "Are you having an affair?" Unexpectedly, he said, "Yes, there is a rich woman who is very kind to me. Do whatever you want. I'm just having fun anyway. "If you love me so much, you will definitely let me live the life I want and make me happy."

"I didn't have any ideas at the time, because I really didn't want this to be true and thought he was joking. I said, "then go, you are so selfish, can she live with you?" If you can, you have been there! " He said, "Yes. It's okay. I am here to divorce you, and I am responsible for your future life. You'd better find someone else, someone with a car and a house. Your parents are in poor health now. A hundred years later, I will send them away as a son-in-law. "

"He arranged our lives like this, but I still trusted him and didn't respond. I really don't believe that he really cheated. "

Dr. Zhou couldn't help interrupting me and said, "You all talked about this. Don't you know he cheated? "

"I didn't react at the time. I think these days are quite good, there is no contradiction, no fuss ... "

"What? Things are so clear, you still don't respond? Well, alas, I really don't know how to say hello! " Dr. Zhou seems really angry. I don't think he has ever met anyone as stupid as me.

"I didn't react until the third day, wondering if I was cheating? I went to know his friends and neighbors. "

Dr. Zhou laughed at me: "What is your voluntary response? Really, people stepped on your foot, and the next day and the third day you said, "You stepped on me, alas, my foot hurts!" " "

"It's this feeling. I never thought about it. I really never thought that he would cheat."

"That you don't already know the second day and the third day, so you go to verify? Have you verified the results? " Dr. Zhou asked.

"I verified that he had a problem in his mobile phone. He said to me at that time: "Do whatever you want! "Later, his parents knew about it. It was his sister who told his parents. His sister already knows. Later, her sister said to me, "I knew it, but I hope you have a good life." I can't say such a thing, nor can I tell you. "

I added, "Because his brother-in-law has a very good relationship with his friend, his friend knows about it, and so does his sister's brother-in-law."

"How?" Dr. Zhou finished and took a sip of coffee.

"After knowing, his parents said that he did not agree with our divorce and hoped that we would have a good life. Of course I don't want to leave myself. Since then, I have followed him every day. I think, first of all, I can't let him touch that woman. Second, it may be a woman's little mind, and I can't let him have fun with that woman. During the time when I followed him, they stopped contacting. He has a construction site in the city, and he often goes to the construction site. So do I. After a while, I think he is doing well and can't follow him every day, so I choose to trust him. As a result, I stopped and he went to see that woman again. He didn't answer the video again. After answering it, he was still very angry and didn't answer the phone. "

Dr. Zhou said, "Didn't he use that woman's money, 300 thousand or 400 thousand?" I said that your husband really has the ability to sleep, and it cost three or four hundred thousand. You are an unusual person. "

"That's what I did last year. I talk to him off and on, and he promises nothing. I told him that after the Chinese New Year ended, you paid off her loan and broke off the relationship. He also agreed. As a result, in the twelfth lunar month last year, he borrowed another 65,438+million from that woman. "

"Yes, very good! Her husband cheated on her, and they all used their family money to raise women outside. You are a good man, and your husband is capable! At first, he was right, saying that he had found a rich woman, and he was really good. How many years have you been married and how old are you? " Dr. Zhou asked me.

"We are 42 years old and have been married 19 years."

"I have been married for more than ten years, and my children are also in college?"

"19 years old, senior three this year, alas, this year's college entrance examination, I don't want to affect my children's exams."

"This year's college entrance examination, that he gave you money now? Your husband. "

"Well, he gave me all the expenses of this family, and I didn't do business or anything. I was involved in his business before, so I was relatively independent financially. In the past three or four years, I have no financial ability. I'm doing nothing now. "

"Now the situation has changed, I think this matter, how to say it, you also have no ability to change him, you said he can't be broken. Now that you are not financially independent, you have to eat others' food and use others'. I think, after 20 years of marriage, have you ever thought about divorce? "

"at that time, I always wanted to save it and didn't want to divorce. Because the children are older and go to college immediately, the old people are in poor health and don't want them to worry. At the beginning of February last year, he borrowed this 65438+ million, and when he made a video with me, he said, well, he paid back the money, and then he didn't contact anyone. Let's live a good life. "

"I really want to live!"

"Unexpectedly, he told me that it was more than 500,000, and I don't know when it will be paid off. Didn't I say 300 thousand? How can it be 500 thousand? What do you want to borrow so much money for? He said that the project is sometimes quite big and there is no way. "

"Okay, okay, you don't have to worry about everything in the future. In a relationship, once it comes to money, it's only a matter of time before you turn your back. Because of this, I borrowed money, and now the man thinks that you and I are that kind of relationship, just like husband and wife. It is right for me to take your money, just like my husband takes the money from home. What you have is mine, mine or mine. Your husband must think so, too. But that woman certainly doesn't think so, thinking, I lent you money only because I have such a relationship with you, but after borrowing it, if I can't afford it, then this woman may soon turn against your husband. At this time, I think you should ask your husband for more money. How much do they give you a month? "

"A month? No, it's not fixed. Ask him for it when you need it, hundreds at a time, sometimes not for months. "

"You this husband is out to do engineering, a few hundred dollars a month? Thousands of dollars is too little. "

"We all started from scratch, rural, and very economical."

"Money, this thing doesn't mean that he earns 2000 yuan a month, and it's ok to earn 2000 yuan and give you 300 or 500. If not, tell him and negotiate with him. Then you won't get that person, and you won't have any money. "

"You don't pull those bad debts now. I'll tell you a few points: 1. Now my son is going to take the college entrance examination soon, and people will go out after the college entrance examination. You'll have time, right? Didn't you do business at this time? Then go back to your old job and continue to do business. For what? In case my husband really abandons you one day. Have I made myself clear? Even if we leave, we should have the ability to live independently. When he insists on abandoning you, it is even harder for you if you have no financial resources. Don't interrupt me, don't lead a miserable life after middle age. Second, you should ask him for more money at this time. You can tell him that since the child is really not with me and has the responsibility of this family, you should take money to compensate, right? My son is going to college soon, and he needs money, as well as the daily human expenses at home. You should take this money just in case. What would you do if one day my husband really left with this woman like you said? There is no way. Only by getting the money first, since that woman lent him so much money, it can't make him relaxed and comfortable with his own money, right? At least 5000-8000 a month. Just press these two points. It's no use saying anything else. What did he say? It's meaningless, it's all boring, understand? "

"The main reason is that I feel particularly uncomfortable now and can't get out of this hurdle."

"Well, it's your fault that you feel uncomfortable, not your husband's fault, because your husband's cheating is a reality, and you want him back. This idea itself is incorrect. Why not? You can't say it's incorrect. Your idea is upside down. "

"No, why?"

"Because he has been derailed, he has been involved in feelings and physical contact with the interests there. What should I do? Accept this fact instead of trying to change the result, you can't change it. If you feel uncomfortable, you must move on. Don't you feel uncomfortable if you put all your energy into that unchangeable situation? Besides, just like you are now, looking like you are incompetent, what can you change? At present, we can only maximize the benefits. What's the use of being uncomfortable? It is difficult for anyone to encounter this situation, but we should also consider our future life while feeling uncomfortable. According to your situation, you tell him to come back, don't cheat, and live a good life with me. Is this your decision? "

"Well, I don't have much time. That's it. Remember two things: self-reliance and maximizing benefits. "

After seeing off Dr. Zhou, I saw the cup of coffee on the table. I didn't touch it. It was cold, but I tasted it. Very bitter.

Looking around, there are many people in the hall, but they are all quiet. I've never seen such soft light, and I feel warm inside.

After talking, tomorrow is another day.