Educate people first.

-Cultivate self-esteem (-p47)

In the harmonious symphony that people's spiritual wealth externalizes, the most subtle and gentle melody belongs to people's hearts.

In our school activities, we often see such a terrible scene: yelling, intimidation, nervousness and high voice, which has become the most common symptom in the relationship between teachers and students in many schools. Teachers are used to intimidation, striking tables, improving their nervousness and yelling. The students were in a state of abnormal fear for hours on end. The effect of this is that the student's keen sense is dull, his heart seems numb, and he becomes a person who is insensitive to the subtle euphemism, free and easy rhyme and cadence of human language. This phenomenon described by Suhomlinski is still staged in many schools. This has to arouse our reflection and attention. Why do we ignore the basic principles of compulsory education civilization and bring such disasters to ourselves and students? Even the teacher is helpless to those students who deliberately make trouble, so he uses a thunderous means-punishment. In other words, through the spirit stick, the spirit brings spiritual stimulation and trauma to students.

Mature teachers can understand the patterns behind children's behavior and reflect on their own behavior patterns, forming more and more mature and effective professional models. Reflecting on one's own behavior mode means that teachers often think about the different consequences that different reactions may bring, and constantly choose the best mode from them. A simple summary is insight-reflection.

We use a case to illustrate the "paradoxical influence" of different types of teachers on children who have made mistakes (both positive and negative).

A student can't figure out how plants absorb nutrients and breathe, how buds grow into leaves, how flowers form fruits and so on. The teacher often asks a boy a question and always says, don't you understand these simple things that you should know? In a class, the teacher will lead the children to visit the saplings and tell the boys that if you can't tell the truth that everyone knows by then, you are hopeless. As a result, the next day, the teacher led the whole class to the place where the saplings were planted, only to find that the buds on the trees were pinched off. In the children's depressed expressions, the teacher saw a spark of schadenfreude in the boy's eyes.

1. caring type: do not discriminate against this student, and give him meticulous and continuous love and care. Teachers will continue to convey information to students, love you forever, and will not abandon you because of your failure. The effectiveness of this kind of feedback stems from the fact that students are not discriminated against, will be hit harder by teachers, and gain a sense of security to some extent. This reaction mode will form the following possibilities:

Positive Possibility: Students with a sense of security can summon up courage, overcome difficulties and achieve a certain degree of development than those who dare to explore.

Negative possibility: because students can't get specific guidance, they can't overcome difficulties by themselves, stay in the current state, or even degenerate. For example, through constant weakness in exchange for the teacher's love and attention, to maintain a self-affirmation.

2. Inspirational: Constantly stimulate students' emotions and motivate students to challenge difficulties. Many teachers will use descriptions of a bright future, stories of outstanding students, stories of celebrities and so on to inspire students' courage. My reaction pattern will form the following possibilities:

Positive possibility: encourage students to overcome difficulties and gain a sense of accomplishment to some extent.

Negative possibility: students are encouraged, but they can't break through the difficulties, so they fall into depression.

3. Appreciation type: constantly look for the bright spots of students, including any slight progress, and praise them greatly.

Positive possibilities, because students are constantly praised, definitely increase the courage to challenge difficulties and achieve a certain degree of success.

Negative possibility, students are easily and often praised for their small progress. Tired of praise, there is no greater progress. Or because of dependence and easy satisfaction, a superficial learning attitude is formed, and it is unwilling and difficult to face greater challenges.

Too much emphasis on list education will lead to superficial learning, because appreciation education is unprofitable. It begins not with overcoming difficulties and achieving achievements, but with changing self-awareness in attitude.

4. Transfer: Help children build self-esteem by praising their progress in other fields. (Find advantages to praise) The transfer reaction mode will form the following possibilities:

Positive possibilities. Students gain self-confidence and self-esteem in their own fields, form a psychological state and feeling that I can do, and transfer this self-confidence and self-esteem to other fields. So as to promote the all-round development of life.

Negative possibility. Students tend to devote more energy and time to their own fields, because they can easily get a sense of accomplishment in their own fields, avoid challenges in other fields, and form one-sided development.

Mature teachers will use these strategies simultaneously or alternately according to their insight into students' behavior patterns. The purpose of these strategies is to actively promote a benign teaching cycle, especially to help students build positive self-esteem.

With the help of Skinner's developmental psychology theory, it is to strengthen stimulation and trigger changes in children's behavior. Through positive reinforcement, that is, adding a stimulus, the probability of operational response is enhanced.

But why are there negative results?

This is because students' self-esteem means students' good self-feeling and self-affirmation, but there are two ways to promote students' good self-feeling or self-affirmation: one is to change external evaluation or shift focus. Liking, appreciating and encouraging are all different ways to change external evaluation, while praising students' achievements in other fields is to shift their focus. Second, students overcome difficulties and achieve success on their own, and then get a good sense of self or self-affirmation.

Of these two ways, the former is external assistance and the latter is internal foundation. Both methods have positive significance, but if you are used to the first method for a long time, it will lead to the gradual loss of positive significance, while the negative may gradually emerge.

So where does the positive and mature self-esteem come from?

Suhomlinski emphasized that the core way to gain self-esteem is to let children overcome difficulties as much as possible with the help of teachers and gain a sense of accomplishment. The greater the difficulty, the stronger the sense of accomplishment, and the easier it is to gain self-esteem and self-confidence.

A mature and highly specialized teacher is bound to:

1. Infinitely trust and love students, and establish a moist teacher-student relationship, but the focus is not on the teacher-student relationship, but on learning knowledge.

2. Insight into the current practical problems faced by students, and on the basis of focusing on the overall and long-term development of students, adopt practical professional strategies to help students break through difficulties.

3. Through external evaluation, students are constantly helped to correct their self-evaluation, making it more real and reasonable, and less and less dependent on external evaluation.

4. Encourage and assist students to constantly increase the difficulty and length of challenges, and constantly enhance their sense of dignity in endless challenges and creations.

……

Let's go back to the case just quoted: What the teacher does for a child who can't learn is not sarcasm or empty encouragement, but insight into the child's difficulties and help him overcome them. For example, plant with this child, let him do it himself, and discover these mysteries of plants with the help of the teacher. Once he discovers it himself, this knowledge will be imprinted in his heart, giving him a sense of accomplishment and feeling strong. This is the source of self-esteem.

In the process of education and teaching, the relationship between teachers and students is infinite trust; Need mutual weaving between teachers and students; Educate people with kindness and cultivate children to regard themselves as a useful talent worthy of respect and pride; Give full play to the educational role of the collective, cultivate people's art and skills with the help of the collective, and let everyone feel that they can do good things for the collective and bring him beautiful things.