Cat fortune telling is very funny.

? An irrefutable fact: people with high face value will feel that the world is full of goodwill more than ordinary people. ? Well, I don't see the point anyway. Next, I carefully prepared "Aauto Faster Funny Joke 3" for you. Welcome to watch!

Aauto Quicker's funny jokes are 3 people (hot articles) 1. A drunk said to his wife, our house is haunted! When I went to the toilet just now, the light came on as soon as I opened the door, and a gust of wind blew out. His wife slapped him and said, this is the third time you got drunk and peed in the refrigerator!

2. The earthquake made your feet soft, the flu made your hands soft, the crisis made your bowl soft, and you made my heart soft! No matter what happens, the road in the world is not soft, and your heart and mine are not far away. Hand in hand, let's go together

3. Do you know? When I finished reading the short message you sent me, I suddenly realized how much affection you used for me! Memory is so unforgettable! You can't forget me! I finally decided: turn it off and piss you off!

4. Piggy set up a club and said: Members should call me Piggy's nickname! Dog: Call me puppy! Kitten: Call me kitten! The chicken blushed and said calmly, it's really boring. I have something to do. I have to go first.

I married a beautiful wife with a great figure and took care of her in every way. Now she has gained weight for nothing. I strongly object to her idea of losing weight. As the saying goes, you are not afraid of thieves stealing, but you are afraid of thieves thinking. She's lost weight, and I'm more worried!

6. Single is papaya, love is cantaloupe, breakup is cucumber, marriage is fool, divorce is melon, remarriage is bitter gourd, no lover is loofah, and many lovers are cantaloupe! May my old friend cantaloupe every day and always be cantaloupe!

7. Two spoiled brats got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!

8. Clouds have no national boundaries; Love has no boundaries; Disease has no boundaries; Medicine has no national boundaries. ? Swine flu? Wreak havoc and endanger the whole world. Global unity, discuss good strategies. Prevention and control cooperation, the virus was wiped out.

9. One day in Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiao Mingyong? The Great Wall? Make sentences. Xiao Ming replied:? The Great Wall is very long. ? The teacher is unhappy: no, build another one! ? Xiao Ming is even more unhappy. He turned away. Why? I'm not Qin Shihuang! ?

10. The teacher said: looking for a girlfriend of 80 kg is skinny, looking for a girlfriend of 100 kg is sexy, looking for a girlfriend of 120 kg is emotional, looking for a girlfriend of 140 kg is emotional, and looking for a girlfriend of 180 kg is humorous.

Aauto Quicker's funny joke 3 people (classic) 1. I have a husky at home. Today, when I fed it dog food, I picked up a piece and tasted it out of curiosity. Unexpectedly, after looking at me affectionately, the goods moved silently and gave me a place next to the rice basin.

2. I had a strange dream yesterday and wanted to tell my fortune. I asked the fortune teller, Sir, I dreamed yesterday that I had two JJ's. What happened? The fortune teller said calmly: This shows that you will marry a 2B wife!

When toad saw the tortoise, it was taking a bath in the river. Tortoise: Haven't you seen a beautiful woman like me? Look, your eyes are popping out. Toad: Sister, don't tease me. Can't you see I have goose bumps?

Dad brought Xiao Ming back from his physical examination and gave him 2 yuan to buy cut cakes from Uncle Bearded at the intersection. Xiaoming and his mother are both AB blood types. What blood type is Xiaoming's father? Type a; Type b; Type AB; O type

There will be a miracle in China in the future. Young people can't find a job and go to the park every day, while old people retire and go to work every day. So in the morning, the old woman shouted, Before you walk the birds in the park in the morning, go to work to help your father? .

6. When a woman buys one. Clowns? The man's understanding is that this dress can be perfectly matched with pants, shoes and bags at home. What the woman actually means is: With this dress, I can buy some pants, shoes and bags at will now. .

7. A woman can't get married because of her small breasts. One day, she said to a blind date man. Don't you like my little breasts? The man said: Is it as big as steamed bread? The woman said yes! On the night of the bridal chamber, the man rushed out of the bridal chamber, knelt down and shouted: Oh, my God, Wangzi steamed bread! ?

8. Saddam Hussein was born in 1937 and died in 2006 at the age of 69; Gaddafi was born in 1942 and died in 20 1 1 at the age of 69. Kim Jong Il was born in 1942 and died in 20 1 1 year at the age of 69. Facts have proved that the 70-year property right has been well thought out and demonstrated in many aspects.

9. Time is like a pencil sharpener. We are all pens. Some people roll around and their pens are broken; Some people have sharp heads; Some people have beautiful lace. It doesn't matter. Importantly, the pen with the highest social status is 2B, and only they can do multiple-choice questions.

10. In fact, the people who planned QQ and 360 War were Li Gang and his son. QQ and the 360 War were raging on the Internet, and no one paid attention to Li Gang and his son. Li Gang used the cover of this war to rescue his son in an underground road. What a move!

Aauto Quicker's three funny jokes (selected jokes) 1. I can't understand why the Monkey King can make a scene in the sky, but often he can't beat the monsters on the road and ask Guanyin to help the old gentleman. Recently, I realized: all the people I met in the heaven were working for the jade emperor, but they worked hard but didn't work hard; All the people I met halfway started their own businesses, so I was desperate!

Grandpa retired and enrolled in the university for the aged. The grandson of the first grade asked curiously, Grandpa, you are still studying! ? Grandpa said: What happened to my study? Sun Tzu said. Good is good, that is, in case your school informs you to hold a parent-teacher conference, and you have no parents, who will hold it for you?

3. China Electric Power Group Company: We have just made a very difficult decision. Before Tencent and 360 stopped fighting with each other, we decided to stop supplying power to computers with QQ software and 360 software. China Electric Power is fortunate to accompany you to grow up; In the future, we look forward to continuing to cooperate with you.

4. I have been busy outside, and my wife called to tell me: Honey, your QQ has a virus, so I cleaned it up for you. ? I asked:? Virus, how to clean it up? The wife replied. Hehe, I cleaned it manually. ? As soon as I logged in today, I found that I lost more than 30 QQ friends, all of whom were women.

I asked my friend: When you look at girls, do you look at breasts or legs first? He looked at me and said, I usually look at my eyes first. ? I immediately thought he was a man of depth, and then I heard him add: If she doesn't notice that I'm looking at her, just keep looking at her breasts. ?

6. One day, many girls discussed the safety of the journey. Unconsciously, shift the focus of the problem to? When girls go out, they should bring a knife or condom for safety. Just when everyone was talking about spring, a cold voice came out: I only bring AIDS reports?

7. It doesn't take forever, just for a while. On Monday, I was discharged. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday? First kiss? . Thursday, in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic? Kiss goodbye? . Sunday, rotation. Men are not bad, women don't love them. Prince and showgirl, big cadres, bad style.

8. Zhen Xuan went to the roadside to buy pancakes. Zhen Xuan:? Aunt, this touch of broken green seems to have fallen into the girl's eyes and spread out in the sun, which is very refreshing. Refreshing your mind is excellent! If you have a burning, withered and troubled heart, aren't you failing your aunt? Speak human words! ? Zhen Xuan:? Don't put onions in pancakes! ?

9. One afternoon in Beijing, the boy received a phone call from a girl who had just broken up. My flight leaves in two hours. If you can come, I won't go? The boy was very excited and said, wait for me, I love you! ? Two hours later, he still took a taxi in Guo Mao. Four hours later, the boy finally arrived at the airport and found the girl taking instant noodles in the waiting hall.