A joke that makes you laugh.

Jokes that are funny to listen to, jokes are always humorous, and many jokes can bring us a happy mood. Such jokes have resonance effect and moral meaning. Let's share funny jokes next time.

A funny joke 1 1. There is a colleague surnamed Wen, and everyone usually calls him Brother Wen. Another colleague, the last word is Bo, and everyone calls him Bobo. One day they met. Bobo: Hello bra! Bra: Hello, Bobo! Bobo: I'm counting on you to protect me from now on! Bra: You're welcome! I'm counting on you from now on.

2. Senior three students eat and chat in the canteen. A: Actually, I like literature and history. B: Are you sick? C: What about the food? Do you know that?/You know what? That's disgusting! Q: What's the matter? Didn't you say you like to smell shit?

3. Once upon a time, there was a game. He felt his head itch, scratched it and burned himself to death.

There is a woman in my colleague's house, one and a half years old, who is milking. In the morning, my daughter clamored for milk, but my colleagues strongly disagreed. My daughter cried ... and went to the dormitory to cry for a while. 1 minute later, she came back with a dollar in her hand, looked at her colleague piteously and said, Mom, I'll just drink a dollar.

Today, a clever young woman took her 8-year-old son Zheng Tai to the orchard to buy cherries. The young woman tasted a cherry and said, "What kind of cherry is this? It doesn't taste like fart! " Before I knew it, her son said, "It's not like spending money to fart, of course it doesn't smell like fart!"

6. A company recruited employees, and hundreds of college students rushed to report: "I am from Peking University." "I am from Jiaotong University." "I am from Zhejiang University." "I'm Tsinghua." Suddenly a girl shouted, "I'm Boda!" " The chairman struck the table and said, "It's your turn. Come to my office and talk. " As soon as she entered the office, the girl showed the certificate of Ningbo University to the chairman.

7. Take the exam in advance at the end of the term. Although the teacher who came to supervise the field was a classroom teacher, he didn't know the students. Something wonderful has happened. There is a classmate in the class who is very stuffy and sits in the last row. He took the exam in a suit, just like a teacher. Ten minutes after the exam, he didn't do anything. Seeing how there was a teacher behind the invigilator, he went to the office and asked the department secretary what was going on. When he came back, the students had almost finished copying.

8. One day, my boyfriend was sitting on the train to new york, and he was the only one in the carriage. Suddenly, a big man rushed in from the back of the car, put a knife on Larry's neck and threatened: Want money or die? My boyfriend trembled with fear and replied with trembling hands: I ... I have no money on me. Then why are you shaking? The big fellow thundered. I ... I thought you were the ticket inspector!

9. When applying for a job as a freshman, the boss asked him, "What kind of working environment do you want?" He replied: "The monthly salary is 6,543,800 yuan, and I go abroad for 30 days at public expense every year." Boss: "I will give you a monthly salary of 200,000 yuan, give you a house, and go abroad for 60 days at public expense every year." He said in surprise, "Great! Are you kidding? " Boss: "You were joking with me first.

10, tattoos used to be very popular, and a buddy had a map of the world tattooed on his back. One day, my back hurt so much that I went to the hospital. The doctor asked: Where does it hurt? He came weakly: near Iraq.

1 1. On my way to work today, I saw a couple. The man held a woman in his arms and pretended to throw her into the trash can. The woman's charming smile was annoying, and then maybe the man's hand was not clenched, and the woman fell and fell into the trash can ... Shit, I laughed at that time! !

12, a developer died and went to heaven. When he arrives in heaven, he wants to have tea with God. God thinks he is too creative and will disturb heaven. If he refuses to have tea with him, he will be sent to hell. Only a week later, the prince came to the door sweating profusely: God, get him out quickly. God asked: What's the matter? Yan said: Eighteen floors, all changed into underground commercial streets!

13 National Day, Liu said loudly upstairs with a Sichuan accent, "Today is your birthday, my motherland ..." Soon Zhuge Liang also came upstairs, blushing and saying, "Master, stop singing, my brothers all think you are singing Zhuge ~"

14. During the Chinese New Year, I stayed at my father's house. My daughter-in-law is sick these two days and stays at home. Her father wouldn't let her go out. Today, my parents-in-law went out for dinner, and I stayed at home to take care of my daughter-in-law. When I came back from throwing garbage downstairs, I found my father-in-law posted a blessing at the door. When I came back, I told my daughter-in-law, "Your father posted a blessing at the door when he went out." My daughter-in-law was stunned: "Did he post a sign at the door? Don't let me go out and seal me? "

15, I took a sip of wine, nodded and said, yes, she never brought money, and stood in the middle of the carriage without a seat. I suggest that we add more handrails to increase the safety of passengers. Brother Chen, what do you think?

16, Tomb-Sweeping Day, sweeping the grave, saw a child burning paper by the roadside. From time to time, he secretly throws some papers into the fire, muttering while burning: "Grandpa, you are old. Doing exercises there is good for your brain and developing your intelligence." If you can't do it, take the teacher in my class away and let her teach you. "

17, one night I was driving, and there was a car opposite with dazzling lights on. I thought it was the high beam, so I flashed the light to remind him to change the low beam. I didn't expect him to be indifferent. Then I turned on the high beam and hurt each other. Then he turned on the real high beam, and then I thought I saw the sun.

18, I heard that the manager is going to give red packets in the group soon, and a colleague has been sending expression packets to disturb others to grab red packets. He finally got what he wanted, and it was the best eleven. He can't break the rules! One hundred dollars for twenty bags. After he gave out the red envelope, he was robbed in four seconds, even without himself. At that moment, I saw the flesh on his face twitching obviously.

19, I went to the school toilet yesterday. It was a kind of pit-by-pit, with spaces separated one by one. I lost a fifty-cent coin when I took off my pants. I feel a little distressed and can't continue to take off my pants. I broke down again. My heart is broken! A word came from the pit behind: "Shit, you think this is a wishing pool!" " "

20. frog MM and elephant boyfriend are watching TV at home when they suddenly hear a knock at the door. The elephant opened the door and saw a snail standing at the door. He picked up the snail and flew away with a swish. One day three years later, someone knocked at the door. The elephant opened the door and saw the snail again. The snail said, "What happened to you just now? Why did you abandon me? !

2 1. The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Make the lunch box blue.

2. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" "

4. American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?

China: No!

American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character?

China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood.

One day, when the national war was in full swing, the guild leader came to the grassland front to boost morale. ...

The guild leader asked: What's the situation?

Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer beside the tent 20 meters ahead, but his accuracy is poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him?

The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one?

6. Soldier: "Thirst … Thirst …"

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place once, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. After a short walk, I may come to the soldiers and say, "Oh … there are plums to eat … Oh …"

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

7. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello?

because ..

Because they are not familiar with each other! Ha ha laugh

8. The little snake asked the big snake brother in a panic: "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?"

The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

9. In the tortoise-rabbit race, the rabbit quickly ran to the front.

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly and said to him, come up, I'll carry you.

Then the snail came up.

After a while, the tortoise saw an ant again. Say to him: You come up, too.

So the ants came up.

When the ant came up, he saw the snail above and said hello to him.

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast."

10, bad news: a pilot fell off the plane.

Good news: He brought a parachute.

Bad news: the parachute is broken.

Good news: There is a haystack below.

Bad news: There is a dung fork on the haystack.

Good news: he didn't fall on the dung fork.

Bad news: He didn't fall on the haystack either.

A joke that makes you laugh. 1. I can't find a girlfriend, so I have to tell my fortune. Fortune teller: Your first half life is doomed to be unattractive. My eyes lit up: what about the second half? Fortune teller: I'll get used to it for the rest of my life.

Second, the beautiful collarbone is the same, and the interesting belly jumps.

Third, if a girl walks in an ancient street and is dragged back to wash her face by the emperor at night, will she be convicted of cheating the monarch or something?

If you have no money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big! Not only can you look! You can also look around.

I am happy for you if you are doing well, and I am happy for the whole world if you are not doing well.

6. My colleague said happily, "The children born to my ex-girlfriend are especially like me!" The female colleague opposite calmly said, "She must have married your mother's ex-boyfriend."

Seven, I have been versatile since I was a child, and I have special musical instruments to use. Whenever I quit, I always play the best!

Eight, I have too many advantages, I can't do things in two ways, and neither can this; That won't do either.

Yesterday, a couple came to ask me how to get to the hotel. I did not hesitate to show them the way to Xinhua Bookstore, hoping that they could find themselves lost in the sea of knowledge!

10. Every time someone asks for directions, I point blindly, because I don't know the way at all, and to teach the world a lesson: don't trust good-looking people casually.

Eleven, some parents educate their children, there is no scientific method, no rules and regulations, and they rely entirely on touch, such as my dad!

Twelve, a person posted a question: Do girls think playing basketball is more handsome than playing badminton? Someone replied: mainly depends on the face. Handsome shuttlecock players, ugly golfers are like shoveling shit.

Thirteen, I went from nothing to assets of over 100 million, from a family to a luxury car villa. These are not by others, but by ourselves, bit by bit, and I want to come out!

14. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers for you on the wall.

The teacher asked the students to tell a short story with three elements: horror, funny and tragedy. At this moment, Xiao Ming raised his hand and answered, Once upon a time, there was a ghost who farted and died.

Sixteen, don't mess around if you don't look good: some people spend a lot of money to iron delicate princess rolls, and they don't look like princesses, but like Newton.

Seventeen, there are always some people in life who try their best to get close to you every day and chat with you late into the night, in fact, just to steal your expression pack.

18. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a big rush flew by me and splashed me with mud. Looking at the big rush in the distance, I secretly vowed in my heart that when I have money, I must buy a raincoat of my own.

19. I just saw someone like you. I chased like crazy, only remember that there was no you in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.