Is this mental illness or normal?

I am a problem of abnormal behavior. If you want to change this behavior, you must first know that it was formed when you were young. If you want to change it, it will be soon. First, you must know the bad aspects of this habit, so that you will have an annoying feeling and want to change it from your heart. This bad habit will gradually change. You can let your family take pictures of the "spectacular" scene of Sirius's birth with their mobile phones, and then let others see it. Your mood will change. I hope you get better soon. Don't worry about minor problems.