Joke fortune-telling young woman _ joke fortune-telling young woman's sentence

Are there any funny jokes? Thank god, help me.

Version 1 1. Short joke 1 There is a man who looks like an onion and cries when he walks. Two men fell into a trap, and the dead called the dead. What's the name of the living? A: Call for help. 3. What is the fear of cloth and paper? A fat man jumped from a tall building, and it turned out to be a success. Fat five. Teacher: How to reduce white pollution? Classmate: Make the lunch box blue for 6 days. There is a male deer running faster and faster. Turns out to be a high-speed stag. Miss 7: Business is bad now. Boss: Why did you miss it? Bird flu. Which is the most difficult to answer, tiger skin, elephant skin or lion skin? Because of the eraser (poor). Q: What animal is three heads and one foot? A: 3 heads 1 3 monsters with feet 10 marshmallows: I'm so tired. I feel soft all over. One day, the little yellow duck was hit by a car while crossing the road and shouted' gung'. From then on it became a cucumber. Xiao Ming: Kang, the shark ate mung beans. Kang: I don't know what it has become. Xiaoming: Silly. Green bean paste (mung bean shark) 13 The elephant asked the camel: Why do your boobs grow on your back? Camel: Stay away from death. I don't talk to things that grow on your face. It's like looking at a snake and saying, that's better than your face growing on your penis. How to make your drink bigger? Read the Great Compassion Curse 2. A short cold joke. If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day. One day, a mother-in-law was sitting in the middle of the car, and she didn't know the way. Her mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this driver? Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid, begging him: let me go, don't roast me to eat. The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions. Squid said happily: Take the exam. Then this man roasted the squid. What is that man doing? He's shaking. He's cold. A: Oh, shivering doesn't mean cold. A sausage was locked in the refrigerator and felt very cold. Then he looked at the other one next to him and said, look at you, frozen like this. You are covered in ice. The other said, I'm sorry. It's cold. Another sausage said in surprise, huh? How can you talk like a sausage? 7. I had my hair cut. When I got to school the next day, the students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite. Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. He cried and cried and flew for 8 1 day. Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive, and the car was almost out of gas, so they went to refuel. Suddenly a gust of wind blew away her boyfriend's hat. Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her, I'll get my hat, and you help me refuel. Let's go One day, a girl went to tell her fortune and saw that she had a tattoo. She said your boyfriend's name was Liang Xiao. You see the girl with angry eyes and say: This is hate 10. An orangutan walked through the Woods and accidentally picked up the feces of a gibbon. The kind orangutan cleaned up the ape's feces, and soon they fell in love. Someone asked you how you got together. The orangutan replied: it's ape dung (fate)11MM. I got lost in the university and met a gentle professor mm: Excuse me, how can I teach at xx University? Only by studying hard can I play with penguins and pluck all my hair. After pulling it out, I said to the polar bear, it's so cold. I also pulled out all the hair on my body and turned to the penguin and said, it's really cold. 13 ants go to the desert. Why didn't I leave footprints? There is only one line left. Answer: Because it rides a bike, ants come home from the desert. It didn't inform anyone. But his family knew he was back. Why? A: I saw his bike parked downstairs 14. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune. Xiaoming asked Xiaohua: Do you know music? Xiaohua: Yes, Xiao Ming: Do you know what the teacher is playing? Xiaohua: piano 15. A pair of corn fell in love. So they decided to get married on the wedding day. Corn can't find a wife. Corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: Honey, people are wearing wedding dresses. 16 The little penguin asked his grandmother one day: Grandma, am I a penguin? "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asks his father, Dad, Dad, am I a penguin? "Yes, you are a penguin. What's wrong? " But, but why do I feel so cold? "17 The director and the section chief farted in the elevator and said to the section chief, You farted. The section chief said: It didn't take long to fart. The reason why the section chief was dismissed is that you can't afford a fart. Why do you need 18? A woman trembled when she met a robber. She said: I just graduated from X school and didn't find a job. I really have no money. The robber cried after listening. " Me too, sister. 19 moderator asked: Will cats climb trees and eagles answer first? Moderator: For example, the eagle is crying: That year, I fell asleep and the cat climbed the tree. Later, there was an owl 20. He has a bad stomach. He came to the hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor, what shall I eat? I eat watermelon and pull cucumber. The doctor thought about it. Say to him: I think you are going to eat shit. 2 1 The African cannibal chief was ill and the doctor made him a vegetarian. What kind of vegetables does he eat? 3. A long cold joke (but funny) 1 A blind beggar walks in the street begging with sunglasses. He felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars and walked for a while. When the drunk turned around, he saw that the blind man was distinguishing the authenticity of a hundred-dollar bill. The drunk came over and took the money back. You don't want to fucking live. How dare you lie to Lao Zi's blind beggar? He looked aggrieved and said, Brother, I'm here to find a friend. He was blind and went to the toilet, but I was actually dumb. "Oh, yes." So the drunk dropped the money and staggered away. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit. She announced: children. After washing and eating together, the children all went to pick fruit. It's assembly time, and all the children are assembled. Teacher: Xiaohua, what did you choose? Xiaohua: I'm washing apples because I picked them. Teacher: What about you, Xiaomei? Xiaomei: I'm washing tomatoes. Because I picked tomatoes. Teacher: All the children are great! Where is Amin? A-Ming: I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on a stool. 3. During a visit to Antarctica, 100 penguins saw penguin 1 and asked, "Penguin, what do you usually do? Penguin 1: Eat, sleep and beat peas. When I saw Penguin 2, I asked, Penguin, what do you usually do? Penguin 2: Eat, sleep and beat peas ... What do you usually do? Penguin 99: Eat, sleep and beat peas. When the inspector said, you usually eat and sleep and play peas. Penguin 100 said, no, the inspector said, why don't you fight peas? Penguin 100 said that because, because, because I am Doudou 4, someone just got abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to bump into his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover. He became more and more angry and wanted to humiliate them, so he said hello politely and said contemptuously to his girlfriend's new lover: Hey, you don't dislike my second-hand goods. Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend smiled: every inch outside is old, and all inside is brand new. There is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He is ready to go out with the polar bear. But on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, and the door is still locked. So the penguin went home and locked the door. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear. It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home. Then the penguin knocked on the door and said that the penguin invited you to play. The polar bear opened the door and said to him, Let's go to your house to play. Dialogue between two college students A: You are from Xinjiang B: Yes A: Wow, it's so far. A: Xinjiang has been liberated. B: No, all our classes carry guns. A: You used to speak Chinese. B: Well, you learned it on the train when you came. Do you still eat raw meat? Our boss invented it. Let's have a barbecue. Next time I travel to Lhasa, I will stay at your home. No problem, but my home is a little far from Lhasa. How did you come to school? B: It takes a long time to get to Beijing by donkey. B: I'm used to it. Just leave six months in advance. Why not ride a horse? B: In Xinjiang, horse riding is all for the poor. We have already tested it. They all ride camels and donkeys. The exams are all archery competitions. Put a sign one kilometer away and write "Peking University" next to "Tsinghua". Then a person has three chances. The first shot of Tsinghua and the second shot of Peking University failed. Finally, for insurance, I took the latest sign, which is this school. Do you use RMB there? B: No, I hadn't heard of it before I went to college. A: So you won't buy anything? We all throw grenades and bury mines to play! Seven white rabbits scampered to the bakery and asked, "Boss, are there a hundred buns?" "Boss: Sorry, there aren't that many." The next day, the little white rabbit left in frustration and skipped to the bakery. "Boss, are there a hundred buns?" Boss: Sorry, I still haven't. "The little white rabbit walked dejectedly for the third day, and the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery." Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns? "The boss said happily: Yes, there are one hundred steamed buns today. The little white rabbit took out the money: Great, I bought two 8 hunters to ride horses and take the hounds hunting. Sneaking around in the Woods all day, no prey. He didn't want to stop riding in the Woods and suddenly said, you won't let me rest. You tried to kill me. The hunter was taken aback. He immediately got off his horse and ran away with the hounds. When he ran to a big tree to catch his breath, the dog patted his chest. Rcus is real. Plagiarists have anal fissure. Killing the whole family is not enough. I still have it. Add q and I'll send it to you.