Collect SMS jokes

Today is your birthday! I don't know what to buy for you after shopping. I think it's better to give you a red envelope! I sent mosquitoes and a big red envelope to you. You must accept it!

2. Money can buy a house, but not a home; You can buy marriage, but you can't buy love; You can buy a clock, but you can't buy time. Money is not everything, but the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

The Lord God of Wealth smiles at you, rolls up his beard and asks if you want to get rich. It's good to have fun! A lot of money really works. What you want to see. You ask when this day will come, and it will take effect after reading the information! Congratulations on getting rich!

4. people

Will fall in love,

Not special;

cattle

Will eat grass,

Not special;

pig

Can play computer,

Only special;

Press it again!

What a pig!

Wow! And laugh!

What a cool pig!

5. The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace and war. Found it. found it. Connect these three English words and read them aloud for three times, and you will uncover a major historical mystery.

6. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

7. I just chatted with my friends, and some of them talked about you. Do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

8. Portrait of your life: Learn to bathe yourself at the age of ten-pigs are self-cleaning; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-throw pigs!

9. Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

10, dear users, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the Palestinian national liberation cause. Therefore, the Palestinian self-government has decided to give you a lofty title in the name of the whole Arab world: Ben Shalebaki.

165438+ You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

12, Dear God, please bless those friends who don't call, text or miss me: May God drop their computers into the toilet, amen!

13, you always fart in the classroom, and your classmates can't help but ask if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

14. The lion and the bear defecate by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

15, send you 12 Zodiac. I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig!

16, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You use it to dig shit.

Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

18: All the girls in the class (except the third master) went to buy jewelry. Everyone chose a bracelet to wear on their hands and said, I will buy this luminous ring! It suits me! Attendant: It's not a ring, but it glows. All the girls in the class (except the third master): What's that? Attendant: luminous bracelet

19, the king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said, "And 1 pig"? The minister said, "There are still 1 people reading text messages"! Hee hee! !

20. Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone drastic internal changes due to overload and is about to explode. After reading this tip, please leave it in the empty space immediately. ...

2 1. Look at the following, and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2 million. These questions are as follows: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry .298888.8888888888898