What are the wedding customs in Shaoxing?

There are wedding customs in different places, and Shaoxing's wedding customs have local characteristics.

Although Shaoxing is an ancient historical and cultural city, people's hearts are actually not ancient today in the 2 1 century. On the issue of marriage, young men and women in Shaoxing have greater autonomy, and of course they also seek their parents' opinions in advance. In the countryside, it may be a bit backward. The whole marriage generally goes through three stages: matchmaking, engagement and marriage.

Matchmaking used to have a strong industrial flavor in Shaoxing, but now it is more of a part-time job. Most of the people who run this line are middle-aged women, called matchmakers. These people have a glib tongue and are fully capable of saying that ducks running on the ground are swans flying in the sky. They can turn ugly women into princesses and ugly men into handsome men. Male matchmakers are called media people. Most rural young men and women need a matchmaker and a matchmaker to get married. Now it's called a referee, no longer paying attention to gender. If it is a bridge between men and women who are in free love, it is called "ready-made media".

Men and women who are not in free love must be arranged by the matchmaker. After contact (not "intimate contact"), it includes blind date and side understanding. If both parties are satisfied, it is necessary to "combine dawn", also called "eight o'clock". This "Eight o'clock" is about "Five Elements", "Jin Kemu", "Mutuke" and so on. There are many things anyway. Fortune tellers are usually invited to join. This step is actually the most crucial, especially in some superstitious rural areas in Shaoxing. If the matchmaker sets the two parties up and "eight o'clock" doesn't agree, most marriages will be ruined. Love is free, but what if you have to help each other at eight o'clock? There are two situations, one is that parents respect their children's wishes and things are easy to handle. The other is that the elders are superstitious, opinionated and resolutely disagree with marriage. In this way, the story "Shaoxing Edition" of Romeo and Juliet is likely to be staged.

If both men and women express their willingness to get married after "marriage", they must be engaged. At this time, the woman's family will put the request for "bride price" (also called bride price) on the table, and the woman's matchmaker will come forward to talk about the conditions, what to want and so on. It is common for a man to give her a "gift" before marriage. Generally speaking, "bride price" is often used as the bride's future wedding expenses, such as buying a wedding banquet and dowry. It is said that "the married daughter is the spilled water", and some parents with heavy feudal concepts are unwilling to "paste" their daughters. In this way, the man's economic pressure is heavier. Also, for those who are engaged or ostentatious, the two sides will set up twenty or thirty tables and a banquet to entertain relatives and friends. It is publicly announced that another marriage dust has settled. But now, because of the complexity, if both parents agree, engagement becomes dispensable.

After the engagement, the man became a prospective son-in-law, but in our local area, he was called a "hairy son-in-law". Before marriage, the woman's family members, such as elders, are still alive. On holidays, the man must give gifts such as alcohol and tobacco. This is not a small expense. Some women have many relatives, and men often spend a lot of money on holidays.

Before a woman gets married, her family sends a dowry to her husband's family. On the wedding day, both men and women will hold a grand banquet to entertain guests and relatives. The wedding day is also called "good day" and the banquet is called "wine". Usually at noon, the woman holds a wedding banquet, and all her relatives and friends attend it. In the evening, the man gave a banquet, and the husband and uncle took the first place on the big table in front of the man's purlin. The bride and groom should propose a toast to their elders and guests one by one. In previous years, the bride usually went to the woman's house after midnight and set off from the man's motorcade (formerly a sedan chair). Before getting on the car (sedan chair), the woman wants to cry, which means thanking her parents for their kindness. The loudness of crying is proportional to the degree of gratitude. If you don't cry, it is inevitable that a woman will point at you behind your back and condemn you for being unfilial. Of course, those who are open-minded and knowledgeable are not included here.

In the past, when a woman was welcomed to a man's house, she had to perform a complicated set of etiquette. However, with the development of society, these ceremonies that are out of step with the times are gradually eliminated by history, and marriage has gradually become fashionable and modern. So now more and more young people in Shaoxing have moved their marriages to hotels, and the wedding time is mostly on May Day, National Day, New Year's Day or weekends. Group weddings or travel weddings are also more common.