The sketch script of the primary school ceremony should be humorous and make everyone laugh, not too out of line.

There are three kinds of stupid people in the world-those who take medicine without illness or disaster. They don't yell at me when they see this handsome guy, and they don't laugh when they see this sketch. Would you stop laughing if you want to hear me say that? ! Sick, heart disease. To tell the truth, my major is fortune telling. Now that I have seen it, I have opened such a psychological clinic, so that I can make money with confidence and give full play to my specialty of cheating. Wear a pair of glasses. You look a little knowledgeable. Hey ... man, how can you be so smart? Ha, come and live!

Please come in!

Ouch ... Doctor, are you in a psychological clinic?

Yes, yes, please sit down.

Doctor, it's hard to be human. Why do you think it is so difficult to be a man?

Why do you say that?

B: Brother, sit down and listen. I'll speak slowly! My name is bachelor, and my nickname is stinky tofu. A boss is as fierce as a tiger, scraping my skin to the bone, and money dances in front of me, but he doesn't buy one. Look at me coldly. Yes, it pains me. I'm worse than a widow now. Now I don't even know if I'm a man or a woman.

You look as thin as a dog. Have you suffered a lot? Come here, let me see your face.

B: look at the face.

Our clinic has face-to-face service.

B: it's quite hanging.

Small eyes, single eyelid, golden aquiline nose. Why does this mouth look like a navel? ! Well, brother, I found all the shortcomings of human facial features, all in your face. The workers in the factory will not agree if they are not abused.

C is coming, come in.

C (talking while walking): It's really hard to be a man these days! Why is it so difficult to be an earthman?

Why does a fat pig come here?

A: Come on, let's do it.

C: doctor! I don't know, although I am so fat, I am actually very conservative and tortured!

C: Look, this belly, this face, is filled with Chili water, and it's swollen like this.

B: Brother, who called like my boss?

C: Who else could it be? Of course, it is the president of the company that is "you stupid" and "I stupid"

B: Brothers and colleagues! We are a company! Big brother!

C: Little brother!

Two people embrace together.

A: Don't be so affectionate. People think they are gay at first sight!

B, C: Who is gay?

A: Well, seeing how pathetic you are, I'll send you a couplet. The first part is: as long as life is ok. The bottom line is: even if there is some green on the head. Horizontal batch: Ninja Turtles. By the way, I must ask, what does your boss look like?

B, C: People in our unit once wrote a pair of couplets to describe his appearance:

B: the first part is: look at the back, there are thousands of troops.

C: The bottom line is: make a sharp turn and scare away all the princes.

A: what is a horizontal batch?

B, C: My mother's teeth!

B: It is said that people on earth are fragile, so I went to work in such a fog. Since I entered their company, I got up earlier than the chicken every day, ate worse than the pig and did more than the donkey! Don't say anything, big brother, it's all tears ~

C: You are not bad! And was scolded and beaten.

A: I have to blow some calves quickly and start cheating.

C: Huh?

A: Nothing. I said it would be ruined if it went on like this.

B, C: Doctor ... You must save me!

A: That's easy to say. In view of your situation, I will provide you with two packages to deal with the boss: one is the horror package; One is the peace package, you can choose it yourself ~

C: The horror package is terrible. I am timid, please tell me something peaceful.

Peace package, right? Well, this involves intellectual property rights.

I see ... Intellectual property ... Do you think this is ok? (Pay 200 yuan money)

A: OK! Look at your sincerity. Let me tell you something. The simplest language used in the peace plan is-resign!

C: resign? This is basically impossible. You don't know the details. I still have a salary of 2000 yuan! I have nothing, so it's over.

B: Doctor, I can't make a peace package either. Please give me something terrible.

Dr. A made a sign for money.

B gave the doctor 50 yuan money.

A: Being a escort for a cat is not like a mouse. You want money, but you're dead! This makes me very embarrassed.

Doctor, I'm in a dilemma, too

A: Just 50 yuan.

B: There are still some changes! Can you not?

You don't think I dare accept it, do you? (Put the change in the belt) I'm telling you, this horror bag is very dangerous and needs perseverance and courage!

B: After all this, what are we afraid of?

C: Just say it. I can hold on.

A: Have some wine. After drinking, find a corner while the wine is strong. You have to hide: I don't believe you scratch me or bite me, and I can't kill him ~

C, is this about killing people?

I also know that. I mainly tried to scare him by putting lipstick on an old lady-give her some color to see see.

B: Is that all right?

A: A dog will bite its own ass, that's for sure.

This pager ... the boss paged me. I will call him back ...

My lunch box and mobile phone are charged in the dormitory. Lend me your mobile phone.

A: Comrade patient, I have to pay for your small clinic, and I have to pay for my mobile phone ~ Call quickly! Hey, wait a minute, let me explain something to you!

Well, you agreed.

A: First, be ruthless. Second, be patient. If you can't bear it, you don't have to bear it anymore! If it really doesn't work, kill yourself.

C: Huh? Boss, I have no problem with you. The signal was bad just now. Oh, it would be nice to invite four colleagues here for dinner. Tell us to go, too. Thank you ~ ~! How much is it to pay ~ ~? 8800, ah, nothing ~ I have no problem with you. I mean, it only costs 8800 yuan to invite four students to dinner, and it saves money! Ok, I'll go right away! Uh, 88

Doctor, we must pay my boss at once. We had a good chat today. I'll come back later to listen to you!

A: OK! Goodbye, alas ~ this money is too easy to earn. Call my mother quickly. Report report

(mobile phone recruitment). Easy? Where is the mobile phone? Shit, that stinky tofu has been taken away. Don't run!

Exam Crazy Cloud (Campus Sketch)

People: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiaoling, teacher.

Scene: classroom

Content:

Xiaoling sleeps on the table.

Iverson lost a book with him. Get out.

Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat.

Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat!

Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you!

Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you?

Wu: I took it last night.

Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position!

Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early!

Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise?

It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning!

Do you know what mistake you made? Huh?

Xiao Ai: Yes.

Wu: Let's stop arguing.

Xiaoling: What you can't forgive is that you woke me up!

Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling.

Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say!

Wu: Huh? Today's exam?

Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today!

Xiao Ai: Scared?

Xiao Wu: Did you sleep?

Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing with grass!

Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil!

Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard?

Xiaoling: Do you also play with grass?

Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think?

Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on!

Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book)

Xiaoling: Go to hell!

Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick?

Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz.

Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her.

Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet?

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there?

Xiaoling: Three steps!

Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod)

Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod)

Step 3:-hand in the roll paper!

Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper!

Wu: What's the problem?

Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today?

Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling?

Xiaoling: I'm not here!

Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu?

Xiao Wu: Yes!

Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa!

Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not!

Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet!

The teacher came in.

Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! (noisy)

Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in?

Three people laughed.

Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon!

Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill!

Teacher: Give out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do?

Curly hair

Teacher: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself!

Xiao Ai: I think teachers are better.

He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands!

Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling?

Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than the salt sea!

Three people copy.

Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate!

Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it!

The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!

Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk!

Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it!

Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! have bad luck

The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go.

Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour!

The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it.

Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending!

I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all.

How did you copy it? Like this? Like this?

Wu: Lower it! Lower it!

Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book?

Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)!

Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu.

Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child.

Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers.

Put away the roll paper.

Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! (below)

Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon?

Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now?

Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that?

Three people: study how to mow the grass!

The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone).

Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Roll paper to Xiao Ai)

Xiao Ai: What's the matter?

Teacher: You read it.

Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has an oval face ...

Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign that says claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it?

Teacher: Keep reading.

Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. ...

Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words?

Teacher: So you only paint beautiful pictures?

Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!

Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words!

Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful!

Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die.

Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself!

Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death!

Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death!

Teacher: (with a helpless face) You, you hung up again!

Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times!

Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. I've heard of pemphigus, and I'm comfortable with it, right? You can make sentences easily, and I'll give them to you when it's right!

Xiao Ai: Do you have any fish? ! Fish ... fish, fish swim in the water, and there are fish in the blade. ...

Teacher: (Laughter) Congratulations, you won-

Iverson: Have you passed?

Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. (below)

Xiaoling and Xiaowu: Forget it. Come and study the grass with high number.

The teacher came in.

Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Wu!

Wu: Yes!

Teacher: Look at your roll paper!

My question is: this is the question, please answer.

what did you say ?

Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake?

Teacher: Is this a question?

Teacher: You-OK, next,

Essay question: What is courage? Why didn't you answer it?

Xiao Wu: I answered!

Teacher: Just five words!

Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage!

Teacher: You-you wait to hang up!

Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I hung up fifteen times!

Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your nature. ...

Wu: Two-too many!

Teacher: OK, the first question is correct! If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have?

Xiao Wu: I wish I were bald.

Teacher: Answer!

Xiaowu: 123456789!

Teacher: How do you know?

Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question!

Teacher: OK! Very good! Very good! Take it (pass a piece of paper)

Wu: This is-

Teacher: Reconstruction Act! (below)

Xiaoling and Xiao Ai: To learn advanced mathematics-

The teacher came in.

Xiaoling: English teacher! (trying to run)

Teacher: Xiaoling, why are you running? No breakfast!

Xiaoling: I didn't eat-

Teacher: I saw you eating this morning!

Xiaoling:-Have breakfast tomorrow!

Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the roll paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all?

Xiaoling: No!

Teacher: How dare you quibble!

Xiaoling: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer!

Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?

Xiaoling: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph.

Teacher: Xiaoling, you should wake up! You this time-

Xiaoling: Ah! Teacher, I failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more!

Teacher: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means?

(to the audience) This is an evening dress!

Xiaoling looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu.

Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Perfect for big games!

Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them!

Xiaoling: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit!

The teacher shook his head. (below)

Xiaoling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two take your time! (below)

Xiao Ai: Forget it, the grass has been mowed.

Choose one by yourself.