Joke Books Read by Ancient People —— Excerpts from the Third Volume of Laughing at Guang Lin (Ⅱ)

Some people have been selling medicinal materials for several years, and their wives have given birth to four children. One day, my husband came home and asked where his sons were from. His wife said, "I have been away for many years for you and miss you day and night. I want to be a baby." So the names are hidden: the dragon is named after you first ran away from home and stayed at the seaside; The second time you were a guest in a distant hometown, and I was at home, so I was named Zhiyuan; Third, it is expected that your goods will be complete, and it is in the house of angelica, so it is called angelica; Fourth, I hope you will return to your hometown before today, so I call you fennel. " Hearing this, the husband laughed and said, "If you say so, I will open a yam hall at home in a few years!" "

Good-looking, pull a person to see. The man said, "I'm looking at you." The fortuneteller smiled and said, "What do you think of me?" Answer: "I don't think you can't."

Have a conceited chess skill, and lose three games in a row from a human point of view. The next day, people asked him, "How many chess games were played yesterday?" Answer: "Three innings." Ask again: "What was the result?" Yue: "I have never won the first game;" He has never lost the second game; I was waiting for a draw in the third game, and he refused. "

A man went bankrupt because he was good at chess, so he became a thief and was tied up. An acquaintance asked me after seeing it and replied, "He asked me to play chess, but he was angry with me because I was good at it, so he was trapped." The guest said, "What a shame." The man replied, "I've never been better at playing chess. My hands are tied."

When a person has a child, he is worried that it will be difficult to support him. Ask a star family to tell his fortune. Master Xing said, "It's no use turning off evil spirits. The long-term transportation limit is good, and it is not a good game to be a thief. " The man said, "You might as well bring him up and let him learn from a silversmith." The star said, "Why?" Answer: "When I was a silversmith, I wouldn't steal a few cents to support my family."

The silversmith opened the shop for three days, and no one came in. One day at dusk, some people poured two pieces of silver, half of which was poured, but it fell. He was furious and thought his heart was too heavy. The silversmith said, "Nothing in the world is more selfless than me. You only took a dollar after opening the store for three days. Don't you want to pay back one-third of your meals a day? "

In the year of drought, the satrap ordered the judge to pray for rain, but the rain didn't come. The satrap is angry and wants to cure it. The judge said, "It's not as good as a tailor as a trail." The satrap said, "What do I think?" Answer: "He can drop as many feet as he wants."

A tailor went to the toilet pit, put a ruler in the wall and forgot all about it. When Manchu people go to the toilet, they occasionally see a ruler with a big knife hanging on it. After a while, the tailor turned to get a ruler, saw a full man, hesitated and waited for a long time. Manchu said, "Man Zi, what do you want?" Answer: "The small one needs a ruler." The Manchu said, "We are in a hurry. We haven't finished eating yet. You have to eat (feet)!"

A craftsman installed a bolt and mistakenly installed it outside the door. The master called him a "blind thief". The craftsman replied, "You are a blind thief!" God was angry and said, "How can I be blind?" The craftsman said, "If you had eyes, you wouldn't hire a craftsman like me!" "

When a beginner shaves his head, every knife wound will be covered with one finger. But there were too many injuries to hide, so he said, "It used to be difficult to shave your head, so you need a thousand hands of Guanyin."