Teasing girls.

1, it's hard to love one person, it's fun to love two people, it's a little annoying to love three people, and it's buzzing in your head like a bee all day.

2. I used to press it silly, so I must find someone more stupid than myself to post it! Be obedient! Send it quickly.

3, there is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, and a kind of happiness called having you around, idiots will finish reading it.

I really miss you, love you and love you these two days. I want to dream about eating at night during the day and even going to the toilet, but I can't remember who you are.

5, jump instructions: happy to the seventh floor, panting to the sixth floor, struggling to the fifth floor, disabled to the fourth floor, hospitalized to the third floor, scary to the second floor, watching the excitement to the first floor.

6. Chickens are used to lay eggs, cows do what they have to do, cats go door to door, sheep are baked in the future, and dogs are used for people. Just wait for the circle.

7. Successful attraction, migrant workers attract migrant workers; Flowers attract butterflies, and butterflies attract bees. And you are the most unusual, specializing in attracting flies. No wonder you call it the toilet.

8. I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-Sofa!

9. Is your Mandarin up to standard? Please read with me: hope, hope, forget, forget, forget. All right! Stop barking and go to study, dog.

10, honey, there are some things I can't wait to tell you. I miss you so much, especially your face. I'd rather ask you-how many days have you not washed your face?

1 1. Sometimes people are really like the moon in the sky and the lake on the ground. Only when they are far apart will they take photos with each other. I miss you very much. For us, the horizon is just a stone's throw away!

12, it is fate that makes us meet; It is the ideal that makes us work together; It is sincerity that makes us trust each other; It is love that makes us interdependent; I sent this message because of harassment!

13, Last night's dinner: Very good, I sat next to the suckling pig. As soon as I opened my mouth, I found you glaring at me. I quickly smiled apologetically: I'm sorry, I mean the one that was done well.

14, you treasure, you treasure, you eat the most, with salty dates in your mouth, dog tail grass in your nose, eyes like light bulbs and snot like urine. You think you are a silkworm baby, but in fact you are a big straw bag!

15, you are a romantic figure through the ages, swallowing Wan Li like a tiger, and counting contemporary heroes, only you are obedient; Looking for you in the crowd, suddenly looking back, you are hiding in the corner and snoring.

16, the weather is getting hot and cold. Have you heard my idea? Find a homing pigeon tomorrow and let it tell you for me. Even if it's just one action: shit falls on your head!

17, your rude jumping made me lose myself. Looking at your back, I made up my mind not to let you go! So I shouted at the top of my lungs: Whose pig jumped over the fence and escaped!

18, don't miss you because of changing seasons, don't alienate you because of busyness, and don't forget you because of the washing of time. If you can't run out of short messages every month, I'll send you short messages, greetings and tips. !

19, Daughter: Dad said there was no wild flower fragrance at home. Aren't you jealous, mom? Mother replied: Why are you so narrow-minded? Domestic flowers are wild flowers, and I am also a wild flower in the eyes of others.

20, mountains and seas can block each other, but they can't block my thoughts; Distance can pull you and me apart, but it can't pull away sincere friendship; Time can forget the past, but not forever friends.

2 1, it's wood who makes furniture, scholars who know poetry, people who want money, talents who practice, women who want figure, geniuses who send messages and fools who read text messages.

22. When the dining room is cooking and the window selling meat and vegetables is 1 MM long, the master impatiently asks: What do you want to do? The woman thought for a long time and said, just beat the chicken. Shoot the chicken, chicken ...

I miss you so much! Oh, I accidentally sent it wrong. I sent it anyway. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, please send these four words back to me, thank you!

24. Did you receive a short message today last year, which made you remember it vividly? If you receive this message, it proves that your mobile phone has been infected with virus, please immediately throw it into the water and soak it for one day.

25. Telephone message: Don't talk yet. I guess who you are. In fact, there are three sentences I've always wanted to say to you, but I'm afraid I'll say something that doesn't even have friends. But today I have to say: Please hang up!

26. Where are you? Watch the satellite TV quickly, hurry up! A large nuclear power plant in the United States was artificially leaked, causing a lot of biological variation! One of the mutant orangutans is reading this message!

27. After a period of statistics, I got the following information: due to indigestion of your mobile phone, the mobile company will cancel your right to use it. Please contact WC to ensure the normal use of your mobile phone.

28. Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a man but a swordsman. Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

29. The happiness of the sky is blue, the happiness of the forest is green, the happiness of the sun is as bright as a diamond, and the happiness of the shell is nestled in a sea. My happiness is to know that you are all right!

30. itchy ears? That means I'm thinking about you! Itchy eyes? I want to see you! Itchy mouth? That means I want to kiss you! Itching? That means ... stop joking. You have lice. Take a bath!

365438 1 power+0,2, this person is really the second power of 2,2, and this group of people is the n power of 2,2, and everyone is 2, so it is no longer 2. Please forward this message to each other and pass on the spirit of 2!

32. I met you, maybe it was God's arrangement, and everything was so natural. You came from the crowd and looked me up and down with deep eyes until my face turned red. You said simply: fortune telling is not?

33, a Mercedes-Benz and a tractor race with BMW. After the traffic police found it, they reported that the speed of the two cars had exceeded 180 km/h, and the best one was a tractor, which kept behind Mercedes-Benz and asked for overtaking with turn signals!

34. Hello, I really admire you. You dare to drink the water in the bedpan, kiss the mouth of a madman, dare to hit a car, dare to ride a man-eating tiger, and say that you want to create Guinness. It's scary to see.

35. I bet a pig that I can block my body with my mobile phone so that it can't see. The pig didn't believe me, so I blocked it. The pig is watching, the pig is still watching, and the pig has been watching! what are you reading?

You should know how good I am to you. Don't wear cotton-padded jacket for three days and nine days, and don't shake the fan for three days. Up to now, the temperature is getting higher and higher, but you threw me away resolutely. I hate you. The air conditioner is out of service.

37. It is very cold in the hospital ward in winter. The patient asked: Why is there no heating in the ward? Doctor: We will line up patients with high fever and take them to various wards. The room temperature will come up soon!

38. Know how to relax and find relaxation; Know how to forget and find freedom; Know how to care and find friends; Know how to cherish and find happiness. Know how to exercise and find health; Know how to enjoy, you found a pigsty!

39. If there is only 10 minute left in the world, I will recall the ups and downs with you; If there are only three minutes left in the world, I will kiss you affectionately; If there is only 1 minute left in the world, I will say I love you 60 times.

40, people are always easy to be busy because of life, at a loss; I just want to remind you, my friend, that someone is silently caring for you not far away, wishing you well and harassing you by the way!

4 1, killing time with short messages is called letter destiny, while sending and receiving letters, while frantically receiving them * *, only receiving and not sending them is indifference, the wrong object is letter harassment, and unsuccessful sending and receiving is letter dysfunction!

42, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used to shelter from the wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

43. I chatted with my friends because you almost had a fight with them, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

44. Lao Wang is a "Chinese Pulsatilla". One day when he went out, passers-by said in surprise, "Lao Wang! What products are used that are so amazing? My hair is all black! " Lao Wang: "Don't mention it, I put shoe polish on my head!" " "

45. The general went to a recruiting station and asked: How about signing up today? The stationmaster replied: Sir, a person came to register yesterday and the day before yesterday. The number of applicants today is slightly lower than yesterday and the day before yesterday!

46. If the house price is high, we won't buy it; If the price is high, we are low-carbon; If the stock market bears the bull, we will pick up the money; If we are tired from work, we will have a rest; If a friend wants to contact us, we will put away the short messages and be happy every day.

47. Challenge the summer limit. Limit one: let mosquitoes bite and don't resist. Reward: a lot of red envelopes. Limit 2: boycott ice cream. Reward: lose weight for free. Limit 3: sun exposure. Reward:? Sauna.

48. The ostrich stared at the giraffe for the first time. Giraffes run shyly, while ostriches run after them. Giraffe: Don't worry ... it's the first time to see you. Ostrich: I just want to ask … what brand of depilatory do you use?

Please put nine horses in ten stables on average, and make the number of horses in each stable the same. How to divide it? Answer: put nine horses in a stable, and then put nine more outside this stable!

50. You have changed! Why is this? I never know you again. Now you are so strange to me. My heart hurts. You were so cute before! But now. Why don't you be a tadpole and a toad?

5 1, cook, call the cook; A person who keeps horses is called a groom; Those who cultivate the land are called farmers; Butchers sell meat; Martial arts, called Beowulf; If you drive, call the driver; I am in charge of the accounts. I'll do anything you want!

52. There is a bean, and it falls. It doesn't matter. Feeling depressed, this bean is me. What can encourage him to come forward? The answer is you! Because there is something in the world called "pig encourages beans"!

53. Vegetables fall in love with radishes and are ruthlessly rejected when they express their love. Vegetables growled bitterly: Why, why is this? Radish said helplessly: haven't you heard that green vegetables and radishes have their own loves? It's impossible for us.

54. I know what I missed will never come back, and what I regret will always regret. I also know that it is meaningless to regret after missing you, but I still can't help thinking: I can sleep well if I caught you yesterday.

55. Girlfriend: Do you often motivate yourself to struggle? Boyfriend: Of course! I have to read Forbes Rich List every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go to work …

56. Willow, how can it compare with your hair? How can green ripples compare with your eyes; Sometimes, I stare at your Zhang Yuzhao at the bedside and feel that the whole world is immersed in beautiful spring scenery forever.

57. Missing you is what I want to do every second. Seeing you is what I do every day; Loving you is what I will always do; Taking care of you is what I will do for the rest of my life. However, lying to you is what I am doing.

58. Monkey-seeking notice: A hairy monkey has been lost. Features: Dirty toot, runny nose, mobile phone on my body, reading short messages. Love monkeys to read short messages, write back to the master quickly! Master misses you so much!

I haven't seen you for days. I miss you very much! I know I'm too angry in recent days, and you won't come out to see me, but I still tell you that I can't live without you! Come out ... my poop!

60. I have built the Great Wall, turned the globe, played in Spider-Man, cheated Zhuge Liang, managed Transformers and welded aircraft carriers. I'm really not a cow. I learned it by reading short messages.

6 1, the north wind is whistling, the winter rain is continuous, the snow is falling, my friend, I know you are cold, but it doesn't matter, I brought you a microwave oven, you can roast it yourself if you are cold! Have fun!

62. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!

63. You have a handsome appearance like Pan An, a bright smile like gold, and more importantly, you have a noble sentiment like lotus. Oh! So you are the famous Pan Jinlian!

64. I'm sorry to send you a text message when you are busy as a bee. If I am disturbed, I want to say to you … what a suck! Who told you not to contact me for so long? If you don't reply, I will continue to harass!

65. Poor family is ugly, primary school education, rural hukou, three thin acres of broken houses, and my wife has a cold pot and a hot stove. I don't want to leave my mouth all year round. Today, I miss my girlfriend and want to hold hands with you. Would you?

Be careful, be careful, this is between you and me, don't say anything. Did you get the red envelope I gave you last night? No? I can't help it. I sent so many mosquitoes to say hello to you. Happy summer!

67, you have more, there are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove how great human beings are. And you are used to stew vermicelli.

68. Today, on the roadside, a girl came by, looking like a college student. It seems to be asking for directions. When you come up, you will be called: Uncle. Shit, I'm not thirty yet. Where is it like an uncle? So I clenched my fists: Sister-in-law, what's the matter?

69. That night, I refused to share the bed with you, and you called me heartless. I'm sorry to tell you that Wang Cai began to suspect that I was having an affair, and said, I need it, too. You can't always sleep on me as a pillow!

70. Do you remember that we ate roast duck together? You like duck meat. As soon as the dish is served, you grab it and stuff it in your mouth like an arrow. I asked in a low voice, why didn't I see the duck? You proudly pointed to your mouth and said, * * here it is.

7 1, attention, summer air conditioning power saving strategy for you, my years of experience, only one friend told you: the first step, find the air conditioning power supply; Step 2, unplug the power supply; The third step is to check the effect. Look, the meter is slow.

72. In order to thank the beautiful women for their true love, I will launch a handsome guy rental preferential activity: accompany shopping until the sole is reimbursed; Accompanying meals, employee treat system; Accompanying movies, mainly romantic movies; Stick to your post if necessary.

There are so many flowers in the world. When it comes to love, only roses are remembered. There are so many things in the world that when it comes to wonders, people only think of Mount Everest. Of all the puppies in the world, when it comes to smart people, only you are remembered!

74. When Chang 'e turns around, the canopy becomes Bajie, the Tang Priest turns around, the Great Sage becomes Wukong, Guanyin turns around, the prince becomes a white horse, and you turn around, the prince becomes a frog. Summer is coming, if you attract mosquitoes, turn around quickly, beauty.

75. Banana and orange on their first wedding night, orange: You don't look like a man. You can't stand up when you take off your clothes. Banana: I used to think you were plump, but now I know you are pregnant. Orange: I grew up drinking water from my daughter's country.

76. Although you spent the lonely time with me and eliminated my troubles, you also brought me too much harm. After some ideological struggle and the torrent of love and hate, I think you are really not suitable for me. Goodbye! cigarette

77. Although you are a little lazy, you have the capital to enjoy life. Although I eat a lot, I am not picky about food; Although you are a bit horny, you have good taste and know how to find Chang 'e. You are everyone's god, and everyone calls you Marshal Tian Peng!

78. I can't bear to lose a flower that has been picked and withered for a long time. It stopped raining for a long time and I didn't remember to collect my umbrella. After a long walk, I can't get to the end. I thought for a long time before saying: it's good to have you!

79. The elevator is very crowded, and you silently watch him in front of you. He smiled and nodded at you and looked at you kindly. You feel very embarrassed, and suddenly you ask carefully: Big Brother, can you move your feet?

80. If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will send you a South China Sea, if a star represents a happiness, I will send you a galaxy, and if a spoonful of honey represents a miss, I will send you a hornet's nest, so I don't believe that stinging people will not die.

8 1, when * * carries it with you every day, when the plane can take off at any time, when the scalper stops at the station, when fishing enters the website, when "fake fathers" run rampant, and "fake mothers" fly around, when Lanzhou baked wheat cakes are all over the internet, what are we left with?

82. The village head sent 5,000 yuan to the township head to apply for funds to build the Ren Minqiao. The township head left the mayor 2.3 thousand. The mayor allocated 8,000 yuan and the village chief received 5,000 yuan. After the completion, the mayor wrote an inscription: Ren Minqiao was built by the people and the bridge was built for the people.

83. On a crowded bus. Man: You are so beautiful. Women smile. Man: You smile like an angel. Female ecstasy. M: Let's go to eat. Women are reserved. Man: Miss, can you make way? You're blocking my girlfriend. The woman was startled.

Don't tell anyone that I am in contact with you, or you and I will be in danger. Do you have a spare room for me to hide for two days? I have three tons of gold, nine nuclear bombs, eighteen beautiful women and five thousand soldiers. I am * * and I am still alive.