Jokes about Chinese characters (share 10 big spelling jokes)

A person's surname is Bu, and his first name is unknown. Another surname is Tsuzuka, whose name goes without saying. They made friends and became sworn brothers.

One day, Bugs said to Bugs, "Our surnames are very strange. You see, the word "burial" is very similar to "home", except that there is a "dot" missing, just like an official without a gauze cap. Today, I want to discuss it with my brother. Wouldn't it be nice if you could put your dot on my grave and make me a home? "

After listening, my brother replied: "It's no problem to lend you some money to make you a' home', but when you become a' home', I have to be a bachelor!"

? If you want to have a "home", you can't let others be "single". In life, we should think more about others.

0 heart is wrong.

Once upon a time, there was a rich man named Hu Xintian. He had a bad heart and was stingy with the poor. One day I met Wen San and said, "Wen San said you can talk about the past." Come and listen today. "

Wen San promised to tell a story:

Once upon a time, there was a family whose surname was ten and Yu.

Ten surnames think that their strokes are too few, and there is no such surname among hundreds of surnames, so they say to Yu surnames, "Don't hang your mouth next to me. Give me that word, Gu, and you can return to the Sect with a hundred surnames. "

My surname is Yu and I want to give him the words next to it. I changed my surname to Yu, and my pronunciation remained the same, so I agreed.

However, ten surnames were still not satisfied, so they quickly said to Yu surnames, "In-laws, I still have too few strokes in this ancient Chinese character. Please give me the word moon and let me name it Hu! "

The other party got angry when they heard it: "Do you want to empty my bottom? You really have a bad heart! "

Hu Xintian was scolded and cut his throat.

? Leave some space and behave yourself.

0 mutual

There has been a saying since ancient times: "A scholar can read words, but he can read half."

Words are easy to make mistakes when they are read in the middle. This proverb is used to satirize "Mr Bai Zi".

There is a scholar named Zhou, who can read half of his words. I once exchanged business cards with a man named Chen.

Zhou Xiucai looked at each other's famous posts and said, "Brother Dong, I've heard a lot about you."

Chen Ye looked at his business card and said, "Brother Ji, I've heard a lot about you."

Zhou Xiucai was unhappy and said, "My name is Zhou. Why did you skin me? "

Chen responded: "I am obviously Chen. You just cut my ear and won't let me skin you?"

? Read more books if you have nothing to do, so as not to be skinned!

0 gege straw bag

Xiao Shenyang, the powerful minister, built a new mansion and asked Ji Xiaolan to write a plaque.

Ji Xiaolan began to write the word "bamboo shoots" for him, saying that it meant "loose and gorgeous bamboo branches".

Little Shenyang happily hangs it in the hall. When Emperor Qianlong saw it, he said to Shenyang, "You have been teased by Ji Xiaolan! If you take the word' bamboo shoots' apart, isn't it the word' each straw bag'? "

Small Shenyang suddenly cried and laughed.

? Sometimes, it's good to look at it from another angle.

0 gonglimu

At the end of the Ming Dynasty, there was a young martial artist named Zhang Gong in Nanjing, who was good at archery, but one of his faults was bragging.

Once, he was practicing archery, and many onlookers cheered again and again. Zhang Gong was very proud and immediately wrote the first part:

Bow, bow, bow,

Archery with a bow, two arrows hit.

Nobody gets along. Just then, a bow seller came along. After reading the first couplet, he took out his bow and let Zhang have a try.

Zhang Gong tried several times but couldn't open it. The bow seller asked, "Do you know what wood this is made of?" Zhang Gong shook his head and said, "I don't know."

The bow seller said, "My bow is made of plum trees." Zhang Gong is very strange: "Li Mu is not a good material. How can you make such a hard bow?"

The bow seller smiled and said, "This is a carpenter's craft." Say, start writing couplets:

Li Muzi, Li Muzi Carpenter,

Li woodcarving bow, the bow is difficult to open.

People don't understand what it means to ask for advice. The bow seller explained, "His surname is Gong, my surname is Gong." His name is Zhang Gong and my name is Li Mu. People call him "Zhang Archer", but they call me "Carpenter Li". He is good at archery with a bow, while Li can use a woodcarving bow. His archery is "all arrows hit", but it's a pity that pulling my Li Mu's bow is "difficult to open". "

Everyone laughed when they heard it. Zhang Gong was ashamed, packed his bow and arrow, and left despondently.

? As the saying goes: there are people outside, and there are days behind. If you are strong, you have a strong hand. Don't brag if you have a little skill. Once you meet a superior person, you will lose face.

The word 0 has a different fate.

Two scholars went to divination together. One of them first wrote a "string" for the fortune teller.

Teacher Xie Zi thinks that the "string" can be broken down into two Chinese characters, and this year, he can take the "middle" exam twice (the imperial examination is divided into levels and stages, and sometimes he can take more than one grade a year).

At this time, another scholar also wanted to get a few compliments and wrote the same word "string"

Unexpectedly, Mr. Xie Zi said with a straight face: "Not only can you not go to high school, but disaster is imminent."

The man asked why, and Mr. Little Chef Hippo replied, "That gentleman accidentally wrote the word' string' just now, but you did it on purpose. Intention is' intentional'. There is a' heart' under the' string', which becomes the word' bitter', that is, there will be disaster. "

Later, the former scholar really won the double prize, and the latter scholar was jailed for cheating in the exam and committing the great crime of deceiving the monarch.

? Life is a naked process of coming and going. The key here is a mentality problem, and different mentalities will deduce different stories.

0 Jigong vs. Qin Gui

Legend has it that one day, the monk Jigong went to see Qin Gui.

Qin Gui made a top allied let Gong Ji come forward:

Your minion was drunk, and he dropped his eyes and fell asleep.

The monk Jigong was lying on the altar of the ancient temple.

I don't know whether I am drunk or asleep.

While the lady was walking in the yard, Ji Gong looked at Mrs Qin with a big belly and a fat waist, and the bottom allied said:

The month is long and bloated, and the half month is fat.

Mrs. Qin walked around the yard with a big belly.

I don't know if it is bloated or obese.

Qin Gui was trembling with anger, and Jigong shook his cattail leaf fan and walked slowly.

? People who want to insult others usually bring shame on themselves.

Fox girl is very humorous.

One day, friends got together. Wanfu sat in the host's seat, Sun Deyan and two other guests sat on the left and right sides, and a couch was put on it for the fox lady to sit on.

Fox refused to drink, and everyone asked her to sit down and say in unison. Fox agreed.

After several rounds of wine, everyone rolled dice and made a "Guateng" wine list. One of the guests was fined and should drink, so he jokingly pushed the glass to the chair and said, "Mrs. Fox is still sober, please have a drink instead!" " "

Fox girl smiled and said, "I can't drink, but I want to tell a story and give you a drink!" " "Sun Deyan cover your ears, don't listen.

The guests all said, "whoever curses will be punished for drinking!" " Mother fox smiled and said, "Can I scold the fox?" "Everyone said," All right! " So everyone pricked up their ears to listen to her.

"Once upon a time, there was a minister who sent people to preach in the red-haired country," said the fox woman. The minister wore a fox fur hat to see the king. The king was surprised to see this hat and asked, "What kind of skin is this?" ? The fur is thick and warm. The minister told him it was fox skin. The king said, "I have never heard of such a thing in my life." "How to write a fox?" The minister gesticulated in the air. "There is a big melon on the right and a puppy on the left!" "

Everyone here laughed.

? Open it and see, it's more exciting!

A New Interpretation of the Word "Hui" in the Year of 0

1956 simplified characters have just been implemented, and some people can't master them smoothly for a while.

A: How to write the simplified word "Hui"?

B: Add a word "cloud" under the word "people".

A: why is it so simplified?

B: "In the meeting, just say what others say. This is called' learning from others'. "

? If you were stronger inside, you wouldn't listen to the wind and rain. If you know more things, you won't follow suit.

Little surname, 29.

Yang Shusheng went to Beijing to catch the exam and stayed at a hotel on the way. When the proprietress saw a guest, she greeted her: "Sir, do you want to stay in a hotel?"

Yang Shusheng replied: "Exactly."

The proprietress said, "May I have your name, please, so that I can greet you when we meet?"

Yang Shusheng replied: "Free, Mu Yi." And casually asked: "What is the name of the boss?"

The proprietress was a little annoyed at the spelling and replied, "It's Yang Gongzi. Last name is twenty-nine. "

Hearing this, Yang Shusheng said, "So it is ..." I can't go on.

In order to find out what the surname is, Mr. Wang didn't remember it from the moment he entered the room to the next day, so he recited all the surnames several times.

After dawn, Mr. Yang checked out. After closing the account, I couldn't help asking the proprietress, "What's your last name?"

Hearing this, the proprietress said, "Haven't you figured it out yet? Let me give you a hint. " I took a piece of wood and threw it into the ground: "That's my last name."

The scholar still doesn't understand: "I still don't understand."

The proprietress listened and said, "That piece of wood is wood, and the ground is soil. What is wood and soil together?"

Yang Shusheng understood: "Your surname is Du, so why did you say your surname is twenty-nine?"

The proprietress replied, "doesn't Yang Gongzi love to fight?" I'll tear it down for you. It's eighteen when the wooden characters are removed, eleven when the earth characters are removed, and eighteen plus eleven, not twenty-nine? "

? "Humble interests, full of losses", being a man: not obvious, but with a broad mind like the ocean, still water is deep, containing but not revealing.