"If my name is not added to the house, I will marry another man with a house." How to treat the blind date who borrowed money to buy a house and broke up?

I think of a book I like to read, Jane Eyre, in which there is a sentence: "Love is a game, and we must always be equal and evenly matched to be together for a long time." Because too strong opponents are tired, too weak opponents are boring. "

In fact, no matter how loving the feelings are, they can't stand the toss of time and reality. After all, a close relationship is the most stable, including the economic conditions of the two.

In the hit drama "Anjia", the Yan couple saved their house for most of their lives by selling steamed buns to their son, but the son added a person's name to the real estate license-Yan Shu's daughter-in-law (didn't buy a house for a penny).

Once this episode in the play was broadcast, it attracted a hot discussion from netizens. The focus of the discussion is "the man buys a house before marriage, and the woman should ask for her own name on the real estate license".

Whether it is added or not will lead to gossip, and someone will talk behind it. The best solution is to buy a house by your own efforts, and then find a man with a house, or say that one person pays half of the shares down.

To put it bluntly, the essence of marriage is the exchange of interests. You just want to enjoy success, and you don't want to work hard and pay. You acquiesced that a man's money fell into his pocket, but forgot that the other person was trying to run, and you were still standing still. The gradual distance will only make your feelings fade.

02

Since breaking up with her boyfriend of three years, 30-year-old He has been wandering on the road of blind date and has been unsuccessful. Since she was single, and now she is almost 34 years old, she has always been bitter about this past relationship.

"If I hadn't forced you to buy a house, you wouldn't be here today. I spent the most difficult days with you in my youth. You baiwenhang not only didn't cherish me, but also broke up with me. "

The unwillingness in my heart made He scold his ex-boyfriend in the circle of friends more than once. Behind the sad dynamic is that she realizes her mistake and wants to save this relationship again, but the reality is not satisfactory.

At the beginning, they were introduced by college alumni. At that time, graduate students had just graduated in the morning, and their minds were focused on finding a job. They were 27 when their jobs settled down.

Chen Chen's hometown is in the countryside, and his parents are old farmers who have left their hometown. There is also a younger brother who is five years younger than her at home. At that time, the second child policy was open, and her parents gave birth to a younger brother.

Ordinary-looking, rustic Chen Chen, when she was studying, none of the opposite sex students were willing to take the initiative to pursue her. When she met the boy she liked, she was too shy to express her thoughts with others. Therefore, when she first entered the workplace, Chen Chen was still a newcomer in love.

Looking at colleagues of the same age around me, they are getting married one after another. Unmarried people also have partners, ready to get married, single, and anxious in the morning.

Parents in their hometown are anxious to see their daughter not getting married at this age, and everyone wants to introduce her to a blind date.

Another year has passed in an instant.

Later, a colleague in the same group (two college alumni) introduced her to this man. There is a saying in Wu's "Like a Person": liking a person begins with face value and ends with talent. When we first met, we were impressed by the man's face value and talent in the morning.

As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although in the eyes of colleagues, the man he introduced himself looks average among most men, Chen Chen just thinks that other men are not as good as him.

Originally, they just tried to get along and see if it was suitable, and they didn't want to get married, but three years passed. Seeing that both of them are old enough to talk about marriage, and they are also the first love, they began to discuss marriage.

03

"I have no other requirements. I can also discuss the bride price with my family, but your family must buy a house in a local (second-tier city) and add my name. I won't marry without a house, or I'll marry a local man with a house. "

Ex-boyfriend comes from a very ordinary family. If he wants to buy a suite in a big city, it is really difficult to take out the down payment of the house at once. Chen Chen's family conditions are even worse and he can't help him at all.

To this end, the man discussed the house with her many times. The man expressed his willingness to give a bride price, and the house in his hometown was renovated into a wedding room. At the same time, he promised her that he would buy a house within five years after marriage, but no matter what the man said, Chen Chen wouldn't budge.

"The house is the basic condition for marriage. I don't want to be rich or expensive, but I must have my own nest. Anyway, I can never accept renting a house after marriage. Isn't it a crime to move after having children? "

Seeing that Chen Chen had said everything to this point, her boyfriend didn't say anything, but silently asked someone to borrow money and paid the down payment.

But just after the ex-boyfriend paid the down payment, the house price skyrocketed. Every morning, he laughs like a flower, and his friends circle is full of love and joy.

But just when the desire for marriage reached its peak in the morning, her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her.

After several failed blind dates, chenchen went to a fortune teller to calculate the marriage (according to others, this is very clever). The fortune teller said with one voice that her marriage was once in her life, and she had already missed it, asking her to let go of her obsession.

In fact, Chen Chen also knows that the fortune teller's chance is her ex-boyfriend's feelings. In order to attract the attention of her ex-boyfriend, Chen Chen posted these words from the fortune teller in a circle of friends.

But it happened one month after her ex-boyfriend broke up, and she never paid attention to Chen Chen again after replying every once in a while. At that time, my ex-boyfriend probably meant that since you can abandon me because I am poor, I can abandon you when I have a house. It should be mutual, not single.

"The bride price of your hometown is only a few dollars. I want to add my name without paying a penny for buying a house. Really insatiable people (the new marriage law has not yet come out, adding a name is equivalent to distributing half a house). My youth is also youth. I spent your most difficult days with you, and we are even. "

Later, I learned from colleagues that my ex-boyfriend married a beautiful young female college student after breaking up with him. Shortly after the marriage, the girl became pregnant.

Chen Chen married a second-married man with children through blind date. Although the other party is more than five years older than her, she looks honest and reliable and has a room in the city.

04

If the woman asks to buy a house and adds her name to the real estate license (the house has not been paid a penny), it is easy for the other half to feel greedy, which will lead to the breakup of the two and become a black spot for future quarrels.

Poor couples mourn for a hundred days. When a man has a house, his value goes up. If a woman doesn't seek fame and change herself, your values will no longer match, and then a lot of things will break up, because the exchange of interests between you is unbalanced.

In fact, I have always believed that women should think about their own value preservation. After all, beautiful skin will always grow old with the years. You should find out what value-added items you have to improve your total value, instead of waiting for others and letting your life revolve around men.

Don't always want to ask men for a sense of security and belonging after marriage. You can buy a house by yourself, or you can buy a house with the other party AA and jointly hold shares and add names. Even the feelings can withstand the tossing of daily necessities.

Finally, I borrowed the advice that Teacher Li Yinhe once gave to unmarried men and women: "I hope that when choosing a spouse, I don't just look at material factors, and I hope that young people will be romantic when facing marriage. I hope that people will put emotional factors ahead and material conditions behind. "

I hope you are all doing well.